How to get long blonde hair that's healthy and natural looking?

Hello,

I am a natural blonde and when I got older, it turned brown. I wanted the blonde back so without knowing much about color and without scheduling consultations, I just went for it. The lady supposedly had been doing color for 20 years but I don't believe that. She didn't ease me into it and gave me a full at once. And it was white. I asked for blonde and was speechless when I looked in the mirror and saw...white. In addition, it was so incredibly damaged, dry, and frizzy. And it thinned my hair out. Just horrible. And I didn't like the color. Plus it made my hair stick up off the top of my head (I guess from the foils). Since I'm a natural blonde, my guess would be she barely has to use any bleach but no telling how much she used. So I went to another hair stylist who put a brown semi-permanent toner on it. It made it healthy again but it made it brown. I wanted blonde. Why she didn't put a blonde toner I have no clue. Following that I had her keep straightening my hair trying to get straight brown because I don't like my curly brown hair. She did a blowout each time and pulled so much hair out. The last time I had anything done to my hair was December and that was the toner and a very slight trim. November was the last time she pulled my hair. Anyway, I have given my hair a break for months to try to get it healthy again but I can't stand how terrible it looks. The toner has faded out so it's frizzy and damaged again. But there's still some brown from that so I don't even know how I could put a blonde toner on it when there's still brown dye. So it's like a watered down tea color and looks awful. And I don't want to highlight it again and over process, my hair has been through so much.

What I am trying to achieve is long blonde hair that's healthy and natural looking. And I want to maintain the thickness of my hair or at least close to it. I also want it to be flat on the top of my head, not sticking up. I don't want white, I don't want yellow. I see lots of girls with blonde and it looks natural and healthy too, even girls with curly hair. I don't get it. And I'm honestly scared to get anything else done cause every time I go I have a bad experience. Plus with everything my hair has been through, I'm worried about what may happen like falling out. I'm even scared to get a cut because every time I do, they cut way more than I ask for. I've heard about a cap, maybe that's what the girls are using instead of foils I have no idea.

If you have any advice/suggestions that would be so great! Thanks so much!
Since your hair has been through a lot, you could get unpredictable results with almost anything. Maybe talk to people whose hair you admire (even strangers) and ask them who they go to? Once you find the right hairdresser you can take the time to figure out what works for your hair. I know people with dark brown hair who have it long and blonde, so it can be done, but I bet it isn't easy.
I think your hair wans't healthy again when it was brown. It only looked 'healthy'. Hair is not a tissue like the skin, that can heal herself. It's dead, so only the new grown in hair is probably healthy again. Yes, it 's sad, but that's the way it is.

I think, just like 'hair situation' that every colour treatment you do with your hair will give very unpredictable results. Maybe only a very, very good colour specialist (a hairdresser who is specialized in curly hair) can do something about it. But I think the best solution is taking good care of your hair. Are you already CG? And do you do prote´n treatments and deep treatments weekly?

If you want it blonde, I think the savest way is wait until your hair is grown back in your natural colour and health, and ask for highlights, rather than full-blonde. Highlights are only sections of your hair bleached, and you also can grow them out longer, so there will be less damage.

Why do you, by the way, not like curly hair on the top of your hair? And why do you thing brown curly hair is ugly?
highlighted 3a hair. Fine strands, medium to high density. Probably high porosity. Growing uit bad layering and aiming for waist lenght!

Pre-poo: coconut oil
wash: CJ Daily fix or SheaMoisture Coconut&Hibiscus
RO + LI: different every time
Styler: CJ Pattern Pusha, CJ CIAB

dislikes: glycerin in low dews, scissor happy stylists, magnesium sulfate

(modified) CG since june 25, 2012
Hiarfinity + extra MSM since March 5., 2014

SL - APL - BSBL- BSL - MBL - WL (stretched)
I mean with a colour specialist a hairdresser who is specialized in colouring hair :P.

And I also want to wish you good luck! I was in almost the same situation a year ago. It's very hard that the hair is so f*cked up, but look at the bright side of this story: now you'll proabably be more motivated to find out how to take good care of your curly hair.
highlighted 3a hair. Fine strands, medium to high density. Probably high porosity. Growing uit bad layering and aiming for waist lenght!

Pre-poo: coconut oil
wash: CJ Daily fix or SheaMoisture Coconut&Hibiscus
RO + LI: different every time
Styler: CJ Pattern Pusha, CJ CIAB

dislikes: glycerin in low dews, scissor happy stylists, magnesium sulfate

(modified) CG since june 25, 2012
Hiarfinity + extra MSM since March 5., 2014

SL - APL - BSBL- BSL - MBL - WL (stretched)
ugh im in the same boat...i was a blonde baby and then turned dark blonde. i wanna go back but i wanna minimize the damage as much as possible.
Since your hair has been through a lot, you could get unpredictable results with almost anything. Maybe talk to people whose hair you admire (even strangers) and ask them who they go to? Once you find the right hairdresser you can take the time to figure out what works for your hair. I know people with dark brown hair who have it long and blonde, so it can be done, but I bet it isn't easy.
Originally Posted by hairy situation
I agree, I definitely need to find the right hairdresser. But it seems like I can never do that. Most people aren't willing to disclose who they go to, for whatever reason.
I think your hair wans't healthy again when it was brown. It only looked 'healthy'. Hair is not a tissue like the skin, that can heal herself. It's dead, so only the new grown in hair is probably healthy again. Yes, it 's sad, but that's the way it is.

I think, just like 'hair situation' that every colour treatment you do with your hair will give very unpredictable results. Maybe only a very, very good colour specialist (a hairdresser who is specialized in curly hair) can do something about it. But I think the best solution is taking good care of your hair. Are you already CG? And do you do prote´n treatments and deep treatments weekly?

If you want it blonde, I think the savest way is wait until your hair is grown back in your natural colour and health, and ask for highlights, rather than full-blonde. Highlights are only sections of your hair bleached, and you also can grow them out longer, so there will be less damage.

Why do you, by the way, not like curly hair on the top of your hair? And why do you thing brown curly hair is ugly?
Originally Posted by etos


If it wasn't healthy again, then how come all the frizz was gone when she put the toner in? Or you mean it just appeared healthy but wasn't actually healthy? What's CG? I'm new to this site. I am a curly girl if that's what it means. I don't do protein treatments and deep conditioning treatments weekly, although I probably should. I'm just honestly scared to do anything cause my hair has been through so much. But I would think deep conditioning treatments can only help it, not hurt it. What type of oil should I use and how exactly does it work? I've heard about so many types of oil: olive oil, jojoba oil, grape seed oil, almond oil, etc but I don't know what the difference is between all of them and which one is the best for hair.

My hair will take forever to grow back in, I can't wait that long. And I want full blonde just like I used to be. Not just highlights. I didn't mean I don't like curly hair on the top of my head. Actually I have straight hair naturally at the top and curly everywhere else. It's always been like this. What I mean (and I'll post a link to a pic) is whenever I get highlights done, and I've seen a lot of girls hair like this, the hair sticks up off the head and doesn't lay flat. It looks weird and it bothers me. And I just don't like brown curly hair, just personal preference. It reminds me of how I looked in high school and I looked terrible. I was always a blonde growing up and that's what I want. I consider blonde curly hair and brown straight hair both to be more feminine looking than brown curly hair. Just my opinion.

Here's a picture of what I'm talking about:
Image - TinyPic - Free Image Hosting, Photo Sharing & Video Hosting
Notice how the blonde on the left's hair is laying completely flat on her head while the blonde on the right's hair is sticking up off her head. It's something with highlights, not sure exactly. But I hate when that happens. It always happens to me and I want it to lay flat.

And here's some pictures of the type of hair I'm looking for. Both girls have a natural looking blonde healthy long hair. The first girl's hair is naturally curly and it grew out more wavyish, I'm not sure about the second one. But this is what I'm trying to obtain. Something similar to this.
Image - TinyPic - Free Image Hosting, Photo Sharing & Video Hosting
Image - TinyPic - Free Image Hosting, Photo Sharing & Video Hosting
ugh im in the same boat...i was a blonde baby and then turned dark blonde. i wanna go back but i wanna minimize the damage as much as possible.
Originally Posted by country_curly
I feel your pain. Your hair is really pretty btw is that completely natural or from a curling iron? The picture with the yellow shirt
[QUOTE=BlondeBeauty;2143707]
I consider blonde curly hair and brown straight hair both to be more feminine looking than brown curly hair.
Originally Posted by etos
Lol, I'm done.

Sent from my SPH-L710 using CurlTalk App
Curl Routine
Co: As I am Coconut CoWash,VO5 Claifying Conditioner
DC: Macadamia Repair Masque
LI: KCKT, Suave Naturals Coconut
Style Creme: Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
Gel: KCCC, Eco Styler Argan Oil
Sealer: EVCO, EVOO


3b/3c, High Desity, High Porosity, Medium Texture, BSL
""Live by the sun, love by the moon"



[QUOTE=LoveInBetween;2143737]
I consider blonde curly hair and brown straight hair both to be more feminine looking than brown curly hair.
Originally Posted by etos
Lol, I'm done.

Sent from my SPH-L710 using CurlTalk App
Originally Posted by BlondeBeauty
Not trying to offend anyone. It's my personal opinion. Doesn't mean it's the cold hard truth.
CG method stands for the curly girl method. It is a method how to treat curly hair, designed by lorraine messy. She also wrote a book about it with a DVD included. Most curly girls find the CG method far better for their hair then how most people wash, condition and style their hair (because curly hair is naturally more dry and more porous then straight hair it needs special care). Most people on this site use the CG method so you can always ask people on this forum about it if you have questions. It's a lot to learn in the beginning of it, but it's defenitely worth it! I would strongly reccomend this method, especially if your hair is already damaged and you want to wear it long.

Long story short: this method includes not using silicones anymore and no washing with shampoo, only washing with conditioner (yes, that is possible, and no, it's not dirty). Curly hair gets very dry, frizzy and damaged because of the harsh detergents in shampoo like sulphates/sulfates (I'm not shure how you call that in english, since I'm dutch). See for more information here: All About the No Shampoo Method

and on this website. You can also look in the forum in the 'trying a shampoo free method?' panel. On this website you can also find what products are CG friendly and you can also buy these products online on this website.

I think that in the pictures the girl on the left sight did straighten her hair, that's why it's so flat. If you have naturally curly of wavy hair, I don't think it will naturally be that flat whitout straighten it (and that will lead unfortunately to damage, and you will probably damaged it twice as bad when you also bleach it). I also think (I'm sorry) that its better to accept the way YOUR hair is, than always looking to pictures and want to look that way. Every hair is different and every style and colour will look different on everybody. Be carefull what you wish for, I wanted to have very light blond hair as well but now I regret it because it looked so unnatrual and not classy on me and also messed up my hair (and yes, it takes forever to grow it out, so think twice about bleaching it again). In my opinion you can better make the best of what you got, than try to fit in a style that might only make your hair damaged and not to its fully potentional and might also make you dissapionted about that.

Let me know if you are willing to try the CG method and how you fixed your colour
highlighted 3a hair. Fine strands, medium to high density. Probably high porosity. Growing uit bad layering and aiming for waist lenght!

Pre-poo: coconut oil
wash: CJ Daily fix or SheaMoisture Coconut&Hibiscus
RO + LI: different every time
Styler: CJ Pattern Pusha, CJ CIAB

dislikes: glycerin in low dews, scissor happy stylists, magnesium sulfate

(modified) CG since june 25, 2012
Hiarfinity + extra MSM since March 5., 2014

SL - APL - BSBL- BSL - MBL - WL (stretched)
this book: Curly Girl: The NEW Handbook - CurlMart
highlighted 3a hair. Fine strands, medium to high density. Probably high porosity. Growing uit bad layering and aiming for waist lenght!

Pre-poo: coconut oil
wash: CJ Daily fix or SheaMoisture Coconut&Hibiscus
RO + LI: different every time
Styler: CJ Pattern Pusha, CJ CIAB

dislikes: glycerin in low dews, scissor happy stylists, magnesium sulfate

(modified) CG since june 25, 2012
Hiarfinity + extra MSM since March 5., 2014

SL - APL - BSBL- BSL - MBL - WL (stretched)
[QUOTE=BlondeBeauty;2143756]

Lol, I'm done.

Sent from my SPH-L710 using CurlTalk App
Originally Posted by BlondeBeauty
Not trying to offend anyone. It's my personal opinion. Doesn't mean it's the cold hard truth.
Originally Posted by LoveInBetween
I'm not offended, I was just cracking up because we were debating about this in my sociology class last week.

My hair isn't even brown, it's black as it can be.

Anyways, I second that you should get your hair gradually lightened via highlights. Have your stylists highlight your hair curl by curl, meaning taking a whole curl and slathering it with bleach instead of random hairs.

And abiding by the curly girl method is a good idea. It will help your curl definition tremendously.

Sent from my SPH-L710 using CurlTalk App
Curl Routine
Co: As I am Coconut CoWash,VO5 Claifying Conditioner
DC: Macadamia Repair Masque
LI: KCKT, Suave Naturals Coconut
Style Creme: Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie
Gel: KCCC, Eco Styler Argan Oil
Sealer: EVCO, EVOO


3b/3c, High Desity, High Porosity, Medium Texture, BSL
""Live by the sun, love by the moon"



ugh im in the same boat...i was a blonde baby and then turned dark blonde. i wanna go back but i wanna minimize the damage as much as possible.
Originally Posted by country_curly
I feel your pain. Your hair is really pretty btw is that completely natural or from a curling iron? The picture with the yellow shirt
Originally Posted by BlondeBeauty
thanks! and no heat was used on that hair (in my signature if thats what u mean) so i guess you could call it natural?...but they're actually pin curls. i do them all the time cuz i love the look of curling-iron curls, plus it helps perk up my curls since my hair's really long and heavy. it gets droopy and stringy if i dont put them in pin curls. but i love it and its completely heatless.

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