Help please, I really hate my hair...

So basically I'm a 15 year old girl, half black Caribbean and half white British and as a result I have reallyyyyy thick frizzy curly hair. I hate it so much. I used to straighten it every single day but then I went to the hair dresser and she said my hair was so badly damaged that it was breaking off and bits were falling out. I was about 13 then and I cried and cried when I came home. I spent the next like year nursing my hair back to health and now its pretty much healthy and damage free because of all the special treatments and stuff I use on it, and I only straighten it like once or twice a month which I know is still really bad. I'm like terrified of my hair getting damaged again but I hate it so much, its huge and frizzy and every time I leave it natural I just feel so ugly and disgusting. I know I should accept it and learn to live with it but I just feel so much better about myself with it straight. Whenever its curly I have to put it up in a bun to stop myself from looking like a frizz but I hate wearing my hair up because of the acne scars on my cheeks and the size of my ears. I feel so horrible going anywhere with it natural and seeing myself in the mirror just makes me so angry and frustrated and upset. Most of my friends are too nice and shy to say anything about it but one of them always laughs at me and tells me how frizzy and gross my hair looks curly. I just feel like I look so gross when I look in the mirror and there's nothing I can do about it. Sometimes I get so frustrated and upset that I just like burst into tears, which sounds really embarrassing and overly dramatic but I just get so upset about it because it makes my self confidence so low and I hate how it stops me from feeling happy and confident and pretty because that's how I want to feel.
Sorry I know this was super long and rant-y but I really need some help because I just hate the way I look so much and I really hope someone can help me out with all this hair. Tysm for any tips or advice or anything because I would really appreciate any help you have to offer xxxxx
I'm sorry that you're going through a rough time. Being a teenager, looking different, and healing damaged hair are all tough things. My first suggestion would be to learn more about your hair properties to figure out what works best for it. Are your strands fine, medium, or coarse? What kind of porosity does your hair have? Your properties are most important in figuring out products and styling techniques that work best for you. Good sources are, Curly Girl book,, and Goosefootprints on Etsy has a hair analysis.

It will probably take time to get your hair looking decent but it's possible. Even if you decide to go back to straight hair, having healthier hair will make your hair less susceptible to breakage.

Sent from my SPH-L710 using CurlTalk App
3b/c, medium-coarse, low porosity, high density
HG: Jessicurl Too Shea and Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Shampoo: nonsulfate shampoo and Suave Naturals sulfate shampoo when needed
<3 I went through the same problem when I was your age. Could you also tell us what do you do to your hair when you wear it natural? Do you let it air dry, blow dry, use a leave-in conditioner or not... everything! We need info to help you. (:
[I]A 2C, wishfully thinking of being 3a. Sometimes I get there. CG since October 2013, Eurocurly (just for a few months more!), last bleached February 2013, demi-permanent dyed to cover, then only henna. Heat-free since January 2014! Hair's mostly healthy, except the last ends. SBL, wanting elbow length.

CW-LI: Garnier Ultra Doux (Cocoa+Coconut Oil/Mango+Tiaré)
DC: Biofficina Toscana Maschera Nutriente Protettiva, or my own product.
Homemade FSG, L'Oreal Styling Gel.
I feel your pain!

High school was - well all of school was - terrible years for my hair. All the popular girls had beautiful long straight hair and I was nicknamed Krusty the clown!

And in those days there was little products for curls!

I second the above advice- try and work out your typing and go from there.

Years later out of High school and after I stopped hiding my true hair - I got so many compliments that it never mattered again!

Ps: your friends are probably either jealous or not really your friends if they put you down over it. Having said that - it's a difficult time for all of us!
Fine 3B/C curls.
Currently growing out damage caused by straightening and coloring.

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