Really mods, you locked the "First time" thread?

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Ugh. I was so happy when I saw that thread. It is super helpful to hear other women talk positively about sex.
goldencurly likes this.
I saw the thread earlier today and thought since I was at work I'd wait to get home to read it. I've been married twice and given birth twice but I would like an open, honest discussion about sex.

Antonia summed it up perfectly.
Guide22
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My, what a difference a day makes.

I know any answer that is given will not be sufficient, however I shall give one. This line makes it problematic:
"Anyway, hopefully this thread can be informative to younger people with similar concerns".

Discussions in SIDY or threads that have these discussions without specifically targeting young girls are a different story. Simply put, this particular thread can be construed to be instructing young girls about sex. That is not something NC.com is about.
Couldn't that part be adressed without locking the thread?
But we have to mark threads with "Adult" which a big freakin' neon sign for young teens to come and look...
emthefantastical likes this.


I would not assume that. She said younger people, not young girls. And even so, what is wrong with that? Many topics are informative to most but a first time experience would be more informative to those who haven't experienced it yet and are most likely younger, isn't that the point?

Also most people here are adults so.. Not good marketing IMO

I also really don't get what's wrong teaching girls about sex??
My, what a difference a day makes.

I know any answer that is given will not be sufficient, however I shall give one. This line makes it problematic:
"Anyway, hopefully this thread can be informative to younger people with similar concerns".

Discussions in SIDY or threads that have these discussions without specifically targeting young girls are a different story. Simply put, this particular thread can be construed to be instructing young girls about sex. That is not something NC.com is about.
Originally Posted by Guide22


She said "younger people". Not children. Not girls. Not minors. She said informative, not instructing.

Words matter.
I don't see anything wrong with having a sex discussion thread in any forum. Avoiding the subject of sex because it's too taboo makes it feel like we're back in the dark ages.

The "little ears shouldn't be hearing this stuff" excuse is the worst. Need I mention how the abstinence method being taught in schools now (aka the method of pretending that sex doesn't happen in real life so learning how to do it safely isn't important) has worked SO WELL lately.
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I was also put off that the thread was locked, which I mentioned in SIIDY.
People have said that things were getting ridiculous around here, and I noticed a BIT, but when that happened I finally realized the real extent of it.
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I don't know what to say, but I'm just really put off by that. And even the response given here, to say you know that the answer will not be sufficient, just screams of a lack of concern for the members concern. SMH.
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I didn't read that thread, so it isn't fair for me to have an opinion. I'm wondering though if an advertiser complained?

I feel like we've been heard more lately, and that's great. Is it possible there's more to this than we realize (re: ads, contests, etc.)?

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WOW...Im flattered and happy to see that other women supported the thread! Yes, I too was surprised it was closed as I was intentionally as PG as possible and thought it was okay simply because, I commented on a libido thread just earlier that week!

It's very unfortunate. The thread was supposed to serve as a place for REAL women to share their honest experiences and dispel any myths surrounding sex. This is a forum of mostly women for goodness sakes! It wasn't even vulgar. Also the line that allegedly lead to the closing of the thread is very subjective and to construe the thread as "instructing young girls about sex" is far reaching. There are 50 year old women on this board, a "younger person" would be anyone younger than 50. That includes 40, 30, and 20 year olds....all of whom are by law adults. I am an adult. One old enough to use the phrase "younger people" and still refer to other younger adults. The thread wasn't for children which is why I indicated "adult" in the title. With all do respect, I believe the reasoning for locking the thread is grasping at straws. Also "instructing"? Instructing mean's teaching and the connotation implies "telling someone to do something". Nowhere in that topic was anyone attempting to tell/instruct girls on sex or have sex. That's comparable to saying informing young women on birth control is the same as telling them to HAVE sex. Once again, with all do respect, that's a very antiquated view of looking at the thread and it's those type of views that has women well into their forties ashamed of being sexual beings!

The thread was supposed to be supportive. There isn't a woman on this board who hasn't heard a myth regarding their body and sex, and I think that any topic that supports educating (adult women young and old) by way of hearing other women's experiences is not a bad thing. Just as I stated in the topic, for the LONGEST time (yes as even an adult) I was afraid of sex, not because of ME but because of what I "heard" from other uninformed women. I know I am not the only one. Our bodies aren't nasty or "taboo" and sex isn't either. I honestly feel that by locking that thread it inadvertently reinforced the attitude that "women shouldn't be talking about sex"...which is EXACTLY what the thread was supposed to dispel. It's just extremely unfortunate.....

Also I think that it was clear that the thread was supposed to be supportive and a place for women to share their experiences, so for that reason alone, if there were small minute things that lead to the topic being closed, wouldn't it have been okay to have edited the portion of the topic that was "inappropriate"? I would have gladly have done it to have prevented it from just being locked.

Last edited by Lovemenappy; 03-22-2013 at 10:20 PM.
Was the thread deleted? I can't find it anymore.

I think locking that thread was a honest mistake, made with the best intentions.

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My reaction is the same as with all of the various censorship here at NC. ppffffttt.

I guess I'll just have to go over to facebook where I can freely tell young kids to go have unprotected sex with strangers they meet on the internet. Cuz, ya know, that's what we were all going to do in the 'first time' thread.
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"Anyway, hopefully this thread can be informative to younger people with similar concerns".

...Simply put, this particular thread can be construed to be instructing young girls about sex.
Originally Posted by Guide22

How exactly does "younger people" automatically equate to "young girls" and "be informative to" equate to "instruct about"? When I read the words "younger people," I don't picture children. I picture people like me, adults in their early 20s. And the idea of hoping your thread will be passively informative is so very far removed from the idea of wanting it to actively instruct. The two ideas seriously resemble each other as much as a chicken resembles a duck.

Regardless of the strangeness of that error, you're within your rights as a human being to have made it. However, immediately responding by locking the thread was not a good choice. When posters are spewing racist bile, mods give them a warning and request that they stop, but when someone writes a post with one sentence worded in such a way that a mod mistakes it for something she finds questionable, there's no "Hey, would you mind redacting this bit?" The thread gets insta-locked? Talk about throwing the baby out with the bathwater. That is seriously not cool.
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Question: So if the "younger people" part of my original post is what led to it being locked. Can I just make another thread....same topic, same paragraph and just omit the "younger people" part?
Yeah. What others have said.

I consider myself a young person. I'm 24.

I think common sense makes it clear the thread wasnt targeting children, nor was it 'instructing' anything. The thread was also marked 'adult'. Whether the mod made a mistake, was following the new mindset of whoevers running NC now, or acted based on a personal agenda/belief I don't know. But as Lovemenappy pointed out, it sends out a seriously depressing and wrong message that women should not be discussing their bodies or sex.

And frankly, going by similar previous threads weve had here before and what people posted then, it would have been the kind of discussion that I think teenagers should hear/read about. But that's another point entirely.
maria_i and wild_sasparilla like this.
"Anyway, hopefully this thread can be informative to younger people with similar concerns".

...Simply put, this particular thread can be construed to be instructing young girls about sex.
Originally Posted by Guide22

How exactly does "younger people" automatically equate to "young girls" and "be informative to" equate to "instruct about"? When I read the words "younger people," I don't picture children. I picture people like me, adults in their early 20s. And the idea of hoping your thread will be passively informative is so very far removed from the idea of wanting it to actively instruct. The two ideas seriously resemble each other as much as a chicken resembles a duck.
Originally Posted by wild_sasparilla
I agree. Younger people, young women, and even with 'girls' I am thinking of an appropriate age group.

I also do not think the thread read as if it had anything thing to do with "instructing". That topic is more about sharing. I personally would have no urge to instruct (and it's not like I was not sure about what I was doing at that particular moment anyway).
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??

I thought it was silly to lock the thread, but yes I see how a mod would come to that conclusion.

I mean the thread said "your first time," from that I get the OP is implying certain things about the board membership: primarily women, primarily older, at least old enough to have some sexual experience under their belts to compare and contrast first time to other times. Everyone knows this board is marketed to a certain kind of woman, too (curly haired women). The part about sex advice was weird to me, being a woman with sex experience, but not atypical from what has been on the discussion board in the past.

I also assumed the thread was started by someone new, cause I've seen that topic several times so it's probably in a search somewhere.

So although I thought it was silly, I do see how a mod would jump to such a conclusion and lock it. Yup, mod could have asked some follow questions.

I was more surprised no one said much as soon as it was locked. I just thought "my, things have changed," and moved on.

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NetG and curlyarca like this.
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Posts: 187
Thanks to Curlyarca and those of you who took the time to express your opinion in a mature and respectful manner, which we really appreciate. Some of you have made some valid and persuasive arguments in favor of keeping Lovemenappy's thread open. I agree the guides need to revisit this topic and decide how we'd like to proceed. In the meantime, this thread will be locked, as we've heard your concerns.
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