A lot? Really? What percentage? Cause I spend time here and I don't see that much whining. What's your specific proof for using the term "a lot" and "lie" in sequence? And how do you know they're lying? Did you do a study? Did you get a research grant to follow down every complaint and deem it a hoax?
I call shenanigans on your declaration.
On the subject of anti-curly tales and "whines":
I've seen self-hatred of one's own curly hair in my own family. A recent forum thread related a girl's ridicule by classmates when she went to school with her curls loose. Others told they should straighten their hair to look more "professional" at work. Mothers relaxing their daughters' hair from young ages to make it "good hair"--as if curly hair was, by default, bad. I personally heard more than one story at a recent meeting of curly girls in my local area where mother's would weep and howl when their daughters went natural, like it was some sort of drastic and dreadful decision to not straighten hair.
Now, granted, it will be different for some than others--and some won't have issues at all. I have not had issues, but then again, I'm very forthright and if someone gets up in my face, things can get pretty ugly, cause I do not take crap like that from anyone. I put up with racist abuse that almost turned me into a fricken anthropophobe when I was 12, and I'm not about to let that crap happen again. Someone says something about my hair that's negative, they better be prepared for a socio-racio-polito-aethetico-ethical lecture.
But not everyone is confrontational and they suffer in silence. And in this forum that's dedicated to curlies, do they not have a right to voice their pain? If anywhere was a place to do it, isn't it here? If 'a lot" want to whine, this is the place they SHOULD do it without being called fibbers.
I don't think they're fibbers.
When oodles of women get their noses thinned, they're saying wide noses are ugly. When oodles of women get DD breasts, they're saying smaller breasts are not as good. When oodles of women get their hair relaxed, they're saying kinds and curls are unattractive or undesirable (though some may simply be saying it's EASIER to care for straightened hair, which it probably is, sure, so I allow leeway there.)
The very fact so many get teased for having curls--and when was the last time you heard someone teased for having straight, smooth hair?--says we have issues with this.
To say it' a "lie"...is to cast a great big nasty judgment on the true experiences of many women with curly and kinky or "ethnic" or coiled hair.
I do agree that going to the obsessive extreme of wanting another hair type you don't have (ie, going curlier and curlier and curlier) is another frustrating search for what one does not have without a lot of work. I think a better way is to see what your hair is like, where it needs to be improved healthwise, and then get the optimal appearance YOUR and MY hair can get being itself.
In a "natural way", letting my hair air-dry, I can't have waves. I can't have 3c. I don't want products to make me a different curl type or straighter right now. I want products to protect and enhance the curl type I do have, to moisturize my dry hair, to give sheen to my dull, aging, graying hair, and try to fight off the unappealing frizz humidity can cause in moister weather. And, because part of using one's hair as an accessory is having a shape that flatters ones features and body type--I want volume and some height. How can I do that with the least damage to my hair? That's why I'm here.
It's no different than straight-haired folks using serums and such to get smoother versions of their hair and to control frizz and visiting hair forums in the search for shinier, smoother, more voluminous versions of their hair type.
I think people should have the hair they desire, be it radically different from or exactly the same hair they naturally have. Wanna blow it? Blow it. Wanna iron it? Iron it. Wanna relax it? Relax it? Wanna curly perm it? Curly perm it. Wanna shave it off. Go for it. But it's a good thing to examine WHY we want hair totally different from our own, and if teh reasons are not part of the racist thread that has corrupted aesthetics for ages. If it's not pressure to look whiter, etc, if it's just that you think your features look better with waves, verus curls, or curls versus kinks, or whatever, then do it. Be happy.
I just think that there is a lot of pressure on "ethnic" women to fit the white ideal of beauty. Thin small noses. Straight, smooth hair. Lighter skin. Or you wouldn't see all those Jamaican women with skin bleachers or all those black celebrities having their noses shaved down and mini-sized or their kinks relaxed. Or why dark-skinned women were out there buying green and blue contacts and looking like weird-zombies with them, too. Like it or not, the white ideal persists. (Though thank God for hip-hop and J-Lo for popularizing the big butt, cause I remember when a tiny, flattish butt was the ideal and many Latina and black ladies just weren't gonna fit that boat.)
No one says just let your hair hang and let it be what it is. We all want to feel attractive. But I remember when in my growing up years, no one in magazines looked like me. And finding haircuts in magazines to show stylists was a chore, cause just about everyone had non-curly hair. What message did that send? YOU ARE NOT BEAUTIFUL UNLESS YOU LOOK LIKE X an Y, and they have straight hair and skinny bodies and white skin. That was what I saw growing up.
I got picked on because of my ethnicity and coloring. But some here have been picked on because of textured hair. I believe them.
It's kind of arrogant of you to call them big fat liars.