sick of co wash, don't know what to do

Hi everyone. A little background... I (naturally) have semi straight, semi wavy hair. I am growing out a perm I got over a year ago (not a spiral, but curly... sort of a 3) I have been coloring my hair for the last 25 years. B4 the perm, my hair was in really great shape, after... not so much. I don't want to cut my hair, I just want to figure out the best way to smooth out the frizz.
I started out using the no poo and other deva products however 1)they are too expensive for me 2)I think they smell bad and 3)can't buy them any where near me anymore. So I moved on to cowash. I have been using Treseme Naturals conditioner. So here is the problem. When I used shampoo, my hair was great, but I had horrible dandruff. Now that I co wash, no dandruff. I use coconut oil on it after washing and then let it air dry. Day 1 it looks good. after that, it looks dry and frizzy. Today I was in a beauty store talking argan oil and used a sample. Wow! It made a huge difference (it was the Advantage brand), but I'm afraid to add this to my regime b/c isn't it non-water soluble? So to use it, I'd have to go back to shampoo..... ARGH! I am really confused. I want to stop the co wash but it's the best thing for my scalp. But I want my hair to look better. Can anyone help? Thanks so much.
I can think of a couple of things that may or may not help. You really can't get rid of damage without cutting it off. You said you didn't want to do that but you could get regular small trims until your damage grows out and also do regular DTs.

Are you using a richer conditioner as a rinse-out after co-washing with the Tresemme? If not, you might want to try one so your hair is getting more moisture.

You might not get a good hair after day 1 until your perm grows out. You can try co-washing everyday until then or alternating it with water-washing and using a good moisturizing conditioner as your rinse-out. There a lot of curlies here who just don't get good 2nd day hair. If your hair is long enough and you don't want to do your hair everyday, you could do some cute updos on the days you don't wash.

You can also look for the pure argan oil that has no cones added. Or try some other oils and use a little when your hair is wet to seal in the moisture.

Hang in there.
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Thanks for replying.
I was getting regular trims, but every time I did, my hairstylist, whom I've been seeing for years and usually does a great job, doesn't understand how to cut curly hair. So I end up with a horrid cut.
I was using Natures Gate Hemp conditioner as my after co wash but really found the Treseme to be better... maybe my hair is used to it and not responding anymore... may need to switch conditioners again.
(I recently bought Shea Moisture shampoo.... hate it. Will not continue using that. Not worth the 10 bucks.)
I have been wearing my hair up for days 2 and 3. Not a big deal, but sometimes I just want to wear it down, ya know?
I use coconut butter after my co wash, but never tried it on day 2 when my hair is dry. I assumed it would just make it look greasy. Today is day 3, so maybe I'll give it a try this morning. If it looks bad, I can wash it out.
I'll keep trying. Thanks again for the reply.
For day 2 and 3 ( and sometimes 4) I am able to just re wet my hair by misting it with a spray bottle. Depending on the dew points and humidity, I will also sometimes put a quarter size amount of leave in conditioner and gel through it but I have nice hair that I can leave down.
CG on 2/16/2010
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Hair length is to my bra strap, it's fine textured, but the density is thick, not much elasticity, Naturally Blonde but Color treated because of graying going on

My hair loves
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Hair one for my co wash
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