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-   -   How do you explain to people they can't get your hair pattern? (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/general-discussion-about-curly-hair/137560-how-do-you-explain-people-they-cant-get-your-hair-pattern.html)

MzCreoleCurly 12-19-2011 01:15 AM

How do you explain to people they can't get your hair pattern?
 
Okay so this is random, but a lot of african american women come up to me and be like how do you get your curls like that, well I try and tell them that I just wet my hair and that my "natural hair texture" but they keep telling me like they want me to tell them how to get my curls. Its frustrating :-| trying to explain that its my natural hair and you have to accept the pattern of curls you have. But then they say i'm trying to act better than them blah blah blah. Do anybody else get approached like this, if so how do you deal with it :?

oh.hi.its.steph 12-19-2011 06:35 AM

I'm white and generally get approached by girls with somewhat wavy, mostly just a little frizzy hair and they ask me how I get mine to be "so wavy/curly." I'm not dissing on that kind of hair -- I love loose waves! And I get that having hair that's slightly wavy is just as challenging to deal with as other kinds. But. I just want to be like.. your hair is NOT as curly as mine. It just can't happen unless you really go out of your way to do a sock bun, or heat style, or something, haha. They ask me for some kind of miracle product and I'm like... if I could make that, do you think I'd be in college with you right now?! lol :)

IAgirl 12-19-2011 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MzCreoleCurly (Post 1838874)
But then they say i'm trying to act better than them blah blah blah. Do anybody else get approached like this, if so how do you deal with it :?

That's because they wanted you to tell them what they wanted to hear!
It's like if you designed and sewed a great pair of pants or knitted a fantastic hat or scarf and somebody said, "Where did you get that, I love it and I want one?" and you said they can't buy them, you made them. Yeah, they're disappointed and they have to go deal with that. It's not your fault.
It's unfortunate that somebody might take out their disappointment by trying to make you feel bad. Just don't go there! You might suggest a resource - wherever you learned how to care for your hair, whatever sources you used and tell them it's takes time and practice and then leave it at that.

Kilajo 12-19-2011 10:50 AM

Yes I've been asked how I get my hair "like that". I explain and they KIM. I've never had anyone say I think I'm better than them. Is it possible they are sensing some type of superiority or something when you respond. I just can't imagine someone jumping to a "you think you're better than me" type of conclusion otherwise. If I often got this type of response I would certainly think about what I may be doing/saying to cause it.

On my EVO

ElvishThistle 12-19-2011 10:57 AM

I get that a lot too. People want to know how I get my hair to be like that. I had one woman get upset with me at a store because I wouldn't tell her what shampoo and conditioner I use. I tried to explain the no silicone, sulphates etc. But she looked at me like I was from Mars.

MzCreoleCurly 12-19-2011 01:06 PM

Wow, it lets me know i'm not alone

BekkaPoo 12-19-2011 01:14 PM

My new default answer to strangers with questions is..

Random stranger: "Where's the park? Do you have a dollar? Hey boo.. can I speak with you?"

Me: "No hablo Ingles!" and if they speak Spanish I answer in German instead.

IAgirl 12-19-2011 03:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BekkaPoo (Post 1839171)
My new default answer to strangers with questions is..

Random stranger: "Where's the park? Do you have a dollar? Hey boo.. can I speak with you?"

Me: "No hablo Ingles!" and if they speak Spanish I answer in German instead.

LOL! Awesome.

adthomas 12-19-2011 03:52 PM

I feel your frustration which is why I dont like to go into a lot of hair talk with people who arent natural because usually they dont understand what you are talking about. That said it is possible to change what your curl pattern looks like without chemicals. being 4a i can go with what my hair does naturally or with the proper tool I can mimic the other hair types. I dont flat iron but if I did I could become a 1 o 2. Rollersets which i do sometimes make me look type 3 and then grab a pick and im 4b.

FelineAlien 12-19-2011 04:01 PM

I think most people don't know about the no-shampoo method, but when they hear about it for the first time, they probably think it's the most ridiculous and disgusting idea in the world, because it's an uncommon method, and everybody has been made to believe that shampoo is a necessity.

So, I think it only confuses people when you tell them they have to stay away from sulfates, silicones, etc to get beautiful curls. Maybe the better thing to do is tell them about Curly Girl book.

Robin-in-FL 12-19-2011 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MzCreoleCurly (Post 1838874)
Okay so this is random, but a lot of african american women come up to me and be like how do you get your curls like that, well I try and tell them that I just wet my hair and that my "natural hair texture" but they keep telling me like they want me to tell them how to get my curls. Its frustrating :-| trying to explain that its my natural hair and you have to accept the pattern of curls you have. But then they say i'm trying to act better than them blah blah blah. Do anybody else get approached like this, if so how do you deal with it :?

I think that something like "mine grows like this, it's what it does if it's healthy, but if yours is different, you could try setting it, I'm sure you could get the same look. But I love your hair how it is, really like seeing ladies with their natural hair" works... Then only if they press you, you can tell them how you treat your hair and why you like seeing natural hair and all.

MzCreoleCurly 12-19-2011 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BekkaPoo (Post 1839171)
My new default answer to strangers with questions is..

Random stranger: "Where's the park? Do you have a dollar? Hey boo.. can I speak with you?"

Me: "No hablo Ingles!" and if they speak Spanish I answer in German instead.

Lolx i'm so going to use this:happy4:

LadyV69 12-20-2011 07:39 AM

I don't get that question often these days, but early on, I learned that if I went into a detailed explanation about my regimen with non-naturals (no sulfates, little or no heat, etc), I'd get blank stares or "My hair wouldn't look as good as yours. Mine's too nappy." People actually think that all they need is a special shampoo and or conditioner in order to get spiral curls, pen spring coils or whatever. They don't understand that their hair won't look anything like yours unless they stop relaxing. So my standard answer these days is "I've stopped perming it. This is how my hair grows out of my scalp," and KIM.

Ronnieaj 12-20-2011 11:38 AM

Oh, I can totally see how some would jump to the superiority issue. I get that often, and quite frankly, I just don't give a hoot anymore. I stopped caring about 16 (I'm 32 now). If I'm wearing a wng and get that question, my answer is "gel," and that's it (because that's really it). If it's a twistout, I say that too. I just really don't have the time or energy in life to care about what some random person thinks about me, nor do I have time to stroke their ego. If that makes me a b***h, then oh well.

FelineAlien 12-20-2011 03:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LadyV69 (Post 1839637)
People actually think that all they need is a special shampoo and or conditioner in order to get spiral curls, pen spring coils or whatever.

LOL, one time my brother accidentally used some shampoo intended for curly hair that was sitting in the shower, and he was like, "oh no, am I going to get curly hair?!" He said he wasn't serious, but I don't know...

steph35 12-21-2011 06:18 PM

Maybe the question should be "How do you explain to people they have their OWN hair pattern?"

I have never, ever seen anyone with my fickle curls and kinks. Never. I can assume, however, that I would be feeling damn confident or maybe it would just make my day, for someone to say,"Oooooh. How do I get hair like YOURS? So pwetty."


If I get a compliment from someone who clearly has curls (or their curls are desperate to break free "get me outta here" style lol) or obviously can rock a kinky,curly, natural look, I have no problems dropping hints n techniques depending on what I see before me.
Actually, helping out all curlies feels good. So maybe you could be like,"Well all curly hair isn't the same, but maybe try this: point a, b, and, c."

Then again, it may be difficult when you have so many fans :toothy8:

wholelottalove 12-21-2011 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by oh.hi.its.steph (Post 1838950)
I'm white and generally get approached by girls with somewhat wavy, mostly just a little frizzy hair and they ask me how I get mine to be "so wavy/curly." I'm not dissing on that kind of hair -- I love loose waves! And I get that having hair that's slightly wavy is just as challenging to deal with as other kinds. But. I just want to be like.. your hair is NOT as curly as mine. It just can't happen unless you really go out of your way to do a sock bun, or heat style, or something, haha. They ask me for some kind of miracle product and I'm like... if I could make that, do you think I'd be in college with you right now?! lol :)

I know what you mean. My natural hair is 3b/c and I'm white so people are always asking me "how I got such a good perm" or how I get my hair to look like that. Well, maybe if you looked into my DNA you could find out why my hair is the way it is but products won't help! Plus I use very heavy and/or elongating products so for wavies it would actually weigh they're hair down more. I love loose waves/curls too, I just don't have them and it would take just as much effort for me to make my hair wavy as it would for a wavy to make their hair like mine. Basically, its pretty much impossible both ways.


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jmartinez 12-21-2011 07:57 PM

Theres alot of people that think AA hair doesnt curl and theres some special treatment to do it. im mostly 3c but get asked if i have a treatment. I just say nope, just water and styling lotion

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