How do you explain to people they can't get your hair pattern?

Like Tree2Likes
  • 1 Post By ElvishThistle
  • 1 Post By BekkaPoo

Okay so this is random, but a lot of african american women come up to me and be like how do you get your curls like that, well I try and tell them that I just wet my hair and that my "natural hair texture" but they keep telling me like they want me to tell them how to get my curls. Its frustrating trying to explain that its my natural hair and you have to accept the pattern of curls you have. But then they say i'm trying to act better than them blah blah blah. Do anybody else get approached like this, if so how do you deal with it
I'm white and generally get approached by girls with somewhat wavy, mostly just a little frizzy hair and they ask me how I get mine to be "so wavy/curly." I'm not dissing on that kind of hair -- I love loose waves! And I get that having hair that's slightly wavy is just as challenging to deal with as other kinds. But. I just want to be like.. your hair is NOT as curly as mine. It just can't happen unless you really go out of your way to do a sock bun, or heat style, or something, haha. They ask me for some kind of miracle product and I'm like... if I could make that, do you think I'd be in college with you right now?! lol
whurly girly (2C/3A).
thick; medium/coarse; low porosity.
hair that is drier than the sahara desert.

LOW-POO: Renpure Organics
CO: L'Oreal EverCreme Cleansing Conditioner
RO: Renpure Keratin Conditioner. New HG!
LI: L'Oreal EverSleek Humidity-Defying LI Creme
Styling: SM Curl Milk, Argan Oil for sealing, sometimes GFPC Gel, some honey for hold, TIGI Control Freak Serum!!
But then they say i'm trying to act better than them blah blah blah. Do anybody else get approached like this, if so how do you deal with it
Originally Posted by MzCreoleCurly
That's because they wanted you to tell them what they wanted to hear!
It's like if you designed and sewed a great pair of pants or knitted a fantastic hat or scarf and somebody said, "Where did you get that, I love it and I want one?" and you said they can't buy them, you made them. Yeah, they're disappointed and they have to go deal with that. It's not your fault.
It's unfortunate that somebody might take out their disappointment by trying to make you feel bad. Just don't go there! You might suggest a resource - wherever you learned how to care for your hair, whatever sources you used and tell them it's takes time and practice and then leave it at that.
http://science-yhairblog.blogspot.com/

Last edited by IAgirl; 12-19-2011 at 09:25 AM.
Yes I've been asked how I get my hair "like that". I explain and they KIM. I've never had anyone say I think I'm better than them. Is it possible they are sensing some type of superiority or something when you respond. I just can't imagine someone jumping to a "you think you're better than me" type of conclusion otherwise. If I often got this type of response I would certainly think about what I may be doing/saying to cause it.

On my EVO
I get that a lot too. People want to know how I get my hair to be like that. I had one woman get upset with me at a store because I wouldn't tell her what shampoo and conditioner I use. I tried to explain the no silicone, sulphates etc. But she looked at me like I was from Mars.
IAgirl likes this.
Fine, 3a/3b
Modified CG
Low Poo: TJ's TTT, ACV/beer Rinses once a month or so, Soap Bars once in a while, Carols Daughter Khoret Amen shampoo
Conditioner: AOHR, AOGPB, Suave Coconut, vo5 Kiwi, etc
Style
HE gels, occasional hairspray, Garnier Fructis Curl shaping gel spray, FSG when I actually make it
Honey/AVG only in the summer

HG I fell into the craze and my hair is happy with Deva! No Poo, Angel, and one condish = awesome hair day.
My hair loves Protein!

My new default answer to strangers with questions is..

Random stranger: "Where's the park? Do you have a dollar? Hey boo.. can I speak with you?"

Me: "No hablo Ingles!" and if they speak Spanish I answer in German instead.
guineapigsrcute likes this.
"The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everybody else."
"...rationality is not necessary to sell things.."
My staples: Mane n Tail (cowash), Garnier Fructis Sleek n Shine (leave in condish), Grapeseed oil or shea butter (sealing), Organic Root Stimulator Elasticitea (leave-in condish & light hold)
My new default answer to strangers with questions is..

Random stranger: "Where's the park? Do you have a dollar? Hey boo.. can I speak with you?"

Me: "No hablo Ingles!" and if they speak Spanish I answer in German instead.
Originally Posted by BekkaPoo
LOL! Awesome.
http://science-yhairblog.blogspot.com/
I feel your frustration which is why I dont like to go into a lot of hair talk with people who arent natural because usually they dont understand what you are talking about. That said it is possible to change what your curl pattern looks like without chemicals. being 4a i can go with what my hair does naturally or with the proper tool I can mimic the other hair types. I dont flat iron but if I did I could become a 1 o 2. Rollersets which i do sometimes make me look type 3 and then grab a pick and im 4b.
I think most people don't know about the no-shampoo method, but when they hear about it for the first time, they probably think it's the most ridiculous and disgusting idea in the world, because it's an uncommon method, and everybody has been made to believe that shampoo is a necessity.

So, I think it only confuses people when you tell them they have to stay away from sulfates, silicones, etc to get beautiful curls. Maybe the better thing to do is tell them about Curly Girl book.
Hair type: 2b (botticelli), normal porosity, and fine to medium hair
Co-wash: Suave Naturals conditioner
Weekly rinse: Apple cider vinegar
Leave-in: Suave Naturals conditioner
Styler: L.A. Looks Sport gel
Trying: Organix Revitalizing Pomegranate Green Tee shampoo, and rag curls!
Okay so this is random, but a lot of african american women come up to me and be like how do you get your curls like that, well I try and tell them that I just wet my hair and that my "natural hair texture" but they keep telling me like they want me to tell them how to get my curls. Its frustrating trying to explain that its my natural hair and you have to accept the pattern of curls you have. But then they say i'm trying to act better than them blah blah blah. Do anybody else get approached like this, if so how do you deal with it
Originally Posted by MzCreoleCurly
I think that something like "mine grows like this, it's what it does if it's healthy, but if yours is different, you could try setting it, I'm sure you could get the same look. But I love your hair how it is, really like seeing ladies with their natural hair" works... Then only if they press you, you can tell them how you treat your hair and why you like seeing natural hair and all.
2c / C / iii (FIA)
Med-Coarse, LowPorosity, NormalElast (LCLF)

Shoulder-Length now.

Wash: DevaCare Low Poo
Detangle & Rinseout: Walgreens or Sally's Conditioning Balm (always)
Leave-in: DevaCare OneC (budget choice is GFTN)
Style: ReCoil & DevaCare Arc Angel (budget choices are HESMU or Got2BSpikedUp)

Henna!
My new default answer to strangers with questions is..

Random stranger: "Where's the park? Do you have a dollar? Hey boo.. can I speak with you?"

Me: "No hablo Ingles!" and if they speak Spanish I answer in German instead.
Originally Posted by BekkaPoo
Lolx i'm so going to use this
I don't get that question often these days, but early on, I learned that if I went into a detailed explanation about my regimen with non-naturals (no sulfates, little or no heat, etc), I'd get blank stares or "My hair wouldn't look as good as yours. Mine's too nappy." People actually think that all they need is a special shampoo and or conditioner in order to get spiral curls, pen spring coils or whatever. They don't understand that their hair won't look anything like yours unless they stop relaxing. So my standard answer these days is "I've stopped perming it. This is how my hair grows out of my scalp," and KIM.
Fine haired, low density, highly porous curly kinky lady
Last relaxer: Not sure. 3/08 or 4/08
BC'd: 9/18/09
Co-wash: Suave Naturals, HEHH, Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle, CJ Daily Fix
Leave-In: KCKT, Giovanni Direct Leave-In, CJ Smoothing Lotion
Stylers: ORS Twist and Loc Gel, KCCC, Ecostyler, SheaMoisture Deep Treatment Masque
Deep Conditioner: DevaCurl Heaven In Hair, CJ Deep Fix

http://confessionsofladyv69.wordpress.com/
Oh, I can totally see how some would jump to the superiority issue. I get that often, and quite frankly, I just don't give a hoot anymore. I stopped caring about 16 (I'm 32 now). If I'm wearing a wng and get that question, my answer is "gel," and that's it (because that's really it). If it's a twistout, I say that too. I just really don't have the time or energy in life to care about what some random person thinks about me, nor do I have time to stroke their ego. If that makes me a b***h, then oh well.
People actually think that all they need is a special shampoo and or conditioner in order to get spiral curls, pen spring coils or whatever.
Originally Posted by LadyV69
LOL, one time my brother accidentally used some shampoo intended for curly hair that was sitting in the shower, and he was like, "oh no, am I going to get curly hair?!" He said he wasn't serious, but I don't know...
Hair type: 2b (botticelli), normal porosity, and fine to medium hair
Co-wash: Suave Naturals conditioner
Weekly rinse: Apple cider vinegar
Leave-in: Suave Naturals conditioner
Styler: L.A. Looks Sport gel
Trying: Organix Revitalizing Pomegranate Green Tee shampoo, and rag curls!
Maybe the question should be "How do you explain to people they have their OWN hair pattern?"

I have never, ever seen anyone with my fickle curls and kinks. Never. I can assume, however, that I would be feeling damn confident or maybe it would just make my day, for someone to say,"Oooooh. How do I get hair like YOURS? So pwetty."


If I get a compliment from someone who clearly has curls (or their curls are desperate to break free "get me outta here" style lol) or obviously can rock a kinky,curly, natural look, I have no problems dropping hints n techniques depending on what I see before me.
Actually, helping out all curlies feels good. So maybe you could be like,"Well all curly hair isn't the same, but maybe try this: point a, b, and, c."

Then again, it may be difficult when you have so many fans
I'm white and generally get approached by girls with somewhat wavy, mostly just a little frizzy hair and they ask me how I get mine to be "so wavy/curly." I'm not dissing on that kind of hair -- I love loose waves! And I get that having hair that's slightly wavy is just as challenging to deal with as other kinds. But. I just want to be like.. your hair is NOT as curly as mine. It just can't happen unless you really go out of your way to do a sock bun, or heat style, or something, haha. They ask me for some kind of miracle product and I'm like... if I could make that, do you think I'd be in college with you right now?! lol
Originally Posted by oh.hi.its.steph
I know what you mean. My natural hair is 3b/c and I'm white so people are always asking me "how I got such a good perm" or how I get my hair to look like that. Well, maybe if you looked into my DNA you could find out why my hair is the way it is but products won't help! Plus I use very heavy and/or elongating products so for wavies it would actually weigh they're hair down more. I love loose waves/curls too, I just don't have them and it would take just as much effort for me to make my hair wavy as it would for a wavy to make their hair like mine. Basically, its pretty much impossible both ways.


Sent from my iPhone using CurlTalk. I can spell, my iPhone cannot.
3a
medium/thick
Loves protein and oils

Low-poo: MopTop gentle shampoo
Co-wash: CJDF, Jessicurl Aloeba
RO: Jessicurl Too Shea, MopTop daily conditioner, CJ rehab, CJ strengthening
LI: ^^^
DT: Jessicurl WDT, SS Deeply Decadent
PT: SS protein treatment, Ouidad 12 min
Oils: argan, sweet almond, jessicurl oil blend
Stylers: SS firm hold, SS curl enhancing jelly, Kiss My Face Upper Management gel, AG Recoil
Theres alot of people that think AA hair doesnt curl and theres some special treatment to do it. im mostly 3c but get asked if i have a treatment. I just say nope, just water and styling lotion

Sent from my PC36100 using CurlTalk App

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:49 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com