Feeling like giving up...

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  • 2 Post By wavymom

Hi all,
I've never posted to this site before although I've done a lot of reading here. This is where I first learned about the CG method, and decided to try it. Lo and behold, I have curly hair, not frizzy poofy hair! I've been doing what I think you would consider modified CG for almost 8 months now, and am still not completely happy. Most days my hair looks cute (and I sometimes get compliments) in the morning. Around lunch-time it starts to relax, and in the afternoon and evening it just looks plain messy - like I really need to brush it. (But of course if I brush it, it turns into a poofy mess.) My DH is not loving the curly hair I've been sporting the last 8 months, I think because he only usually sees it at night (he is almost always at work). So, I desperately need some advice before I give up and go back to ponytails and blow-drying!

I think I have type 2b/c hair. It is just below my shoulders. Initially I did straight CG method but found that build-up was a big problem for me. I actually get better results if I shampoo almost every day - and so I rotate through a low (no sulfate) poo and a baby sulfate-containing shampoo. I use Tresemme natural conditioner, rinse it out, then put just a small amount back in as a leave-in. Get out of the shower, comb it out with a wide-tooth comb to get it generally going in the same direction (or it dries really messy). Scrunch a bunch of water back in (super soaker method) and then flip upside down and scrunch in Herbal Essences Tousle Me Softly mousse (best and consequently cheapest product I've found yet), and then Biosilk Rock Hard Gelee. Flip back up, let dry ~10 mins, and then scrunch with a t-shirt. Later when my hair is dry or closer to dry, I'll scrunch out the crunch with the t-shirt. Then it generally looks really cute for a few hours before falling and looking messier and messier...

Please help! I don't know what I can do to keep it looking great all day long. This is really frustrating me.
After you scrunch it out, spray it with a light hairspray to put the hold back in it. I know hairsprays are supposed to be drying, but using a light one very sparingly can keep frizz away.

When you scrunch out the gel, you're releasing the hold in your hair and that's why it keeps falling during the day. The hairspray method is a way to put hold in your hair again.
A few tips:
-Baby shampoo is generally as harsh, and sometimes more harsh that regular sulfate shampoo. It's just formulated to not burn the eyes, it doesn't make it more gentle for hair. I'd stay far away from this. If you need to wash everyday, go ahead. A lot of wavies do. I'm not a wavy but I use No-Poo every day.
-You might try a protein treatment, they can be really helpful if you're hair likes protein.
-You didn't list any of you hair properties, they're really helpful in giving recommendations, and they make it a lot easier to figure out what your hair needs.
-I never SOTC with bare hands, I use pomade, oils, etc. Occassionally if I need my hair to look good for a long time, I'll mix some oil with a tiny bit of gel and use to to SOTC and smooth any fluffy ends out.
-If you have fine hair, you may not need a leave-in. Not everyone does. I use leave-in sometimes, and other times I skip it. If you have dry/damaged hair, you may need a more moisturizing conditioner that Tresemme. It has great slip, but not a lot of actual moisture.

Don't give up yet, figuring out your hair properties will give you a lot better chance of figuring out what works for your hair.
HTH
How's My Hair?
Review: L'Oreal Evercreme Cleansing Conditioner
Review: Yes To Carrots Nourishing Shampoo & Pampering Conditioner + 35% off at YTC.com

3a-b, fine & medium texture, medium-high porosity from years of damaging. I'm addicted to changing my hair color.
Cleansing: No-Poo, Elucence MBS, YTC Poo,
Conditioner: One Condition, JC Too Shea!, YTC Condish, Elucence MBC, Joico Daily, KCKT
Styling: KCCC, LALPS, BRHG, Biotera Gel
SMB Photography
Are baby shampoos harsh when they don't contain sulfates though? I've been using one that has coca betaine, thinking it was gentle for my hair. But my hair is so dry still :/ wondering if I should switch?
West Aussie wavey! 2b/low porosity, medium texture.
Cleanse-Tressemme Naturals
LI-Natures Gate organic
Style-Seven Wonders anti frizz creme, Taft Extra Hold Gel, Marc Daniels Curl Creme

Still trialling...
Are baby shampoos harsh when they don't contain sulfates though? I've been using one that has coca betaine, thinking it was gentle for my hair. But my hair is so dry still :/ wondering if I should switch?
Originally Posted by rainfallindown
It really depends on the formulation. Baby shampoos like Johnson & Johnson are awful for hair. I have several low-poos and in my opinion, it really depends on how it makes your hair feel. Elucence Moisture Benefits Shampoo (ph of 4.5-5.5) isn't sulfate-free, but it leaves my hair really soft and conditioned feeling. It's my favorite shampoo. I don't think sulfates are always to blame, I honestly think formulation and ph are more important that which surfactant is used.
How's My Hair?
Review: L'Oreal Evercreme Cleansing Conditioner
Review: Yes To Carrots Nourishing Shampoo & Pampering Conditioner + 35% off at YTC.com

3a-b, fine & medium texture, medium-high porosity from years of damaging. I'm addicted to changing my hair color.
Cleansing: No-Poo, Elucence MBS, YTC Poo,
Conditioner: One Condition, JC Too Shea!, YTC Condish, Elucence MBC, Joico Daily, KCKT
Styling: KCCC, LALPS, BRHG, Biotera Gel
SMB Photography
As mentioned above, you need to determine your hair properties. Here's a thread to help: Live Curly Live Free - Home Once you determine you hair properties, you can look for folks with hair like yours and see what they use (in signatures.) It's the best place to start.

Totally agree with the recommendation for protein, unless you have coarse hair. Fine and/or porous hair generally like protein. I do at least one PT a week and use a lot of products with protein. It helps define my curls and adds volume.

A terrific haircut is the foundation to everything. You won't have great hair without a good haircut. Do you have layers?? Length pulls out the curls, so you need to have layers to avoid that--and it helps with the dreaded triangle look.

Last of all, many of us rotate products. My hair has always satiated on products. Even in my shampoo/conditioner only days. I wet, use a rinse out and style every day. Seldom use any product more then twice in a week and usually limit it to once every five days.
3a (Corkicelli), highlighted, fine, low porosity
modified CG, since April '07
CG since 3/11/08

SE PA

HGs: Anything Sevi; Curly Kinks Satin Roots, Curlycue ReNew and Coil Jam; homemade FSG and okra gel; soap bars; UFD Curly Magic; Botanical Spirits Jellies, CJ Repair Me, Marie Dean Leave Ins and Curl Creams
Hi all,
Thank you for your helpful replies! I just took a couple pictures of my hair today with my laptop, and will post them here in case this helps. I admit I do not know what my hair's properties are. I have also been wondering if protein will be helpful for me, and will try to look into that more.
smasters467 - what kind of pomade / oil do you use when you SOTC?
I don't use a lot of different products, I have tried a lot but stick with what gives me the most reproducible results. I used to only do conditioner with very occasional low-poo (like 1x or 2x per month) and I would use EVOO, shea butter, anything I had on hand that I thought would give me moisture. Then I saw a photo of myself taken on Halloween and realized how horrible my hair really did look: drab, limp, and lifeless. I decided maybe it was overconditioned. So now that's how I've gotten to where I am today. As you can see although it's not horrible, it starting to get that messy look (especially in the more faded picture) and it will just get sadder looking as the day proceeds here. I am trying to grow my hair longer actually, but my current haircut does include longer layers which definitely helped it from where it used to be. If I don't SOTC in the morning, my hair looks really product-y which I can't stand. Thank you again for all of your help, I really do appreciate it!

Last edited by wavymom; 06-04-2012 at 03:04 PM.
Also, I should add that if I don't use a little conditioner as leave-in (and I mean little, like dime-sized amount), I get halo frizz.

Last edited by wavymom; 04-24-2012 at 02:20 PM.
Also, I should add that if I don't use a little conditioner as leave-in (and I mean little, like dime-sized amount), I get halo frizz.
And - I don't consider my hair to be fine... but then again what do I know! I think it's more average-to-thick though.
Originally Posted by wavymom
Okay, not gonna lie, I think your hair looks great; certain days I would love to have hair like that. It might be worth it to get a hair analysis; I thought my hair was normal texture and I didn't have much clue about elasticity or porosity, when in fact I have fine texture and normal porosity and normal elasticity. This helped me to figure out just how much my hair likes protein.
2b, fine texture, normal porosity & elasticity (CG as of 12/2011)

Low-poo: UFD Rich & Funky
Cowash: VO5 Kiwi Lime
RO: Tresemme Naturals, Aubrey Organics GPB, Ion Effective Care, MillCreek Keratin
PT/DT: IAgirl's PT, GVP CB
LI: KCKT, Cure Care, CJ CCCC Lite
Styling: Curl Keeper, As I Am Jelly, UFD Curly Magic, CJ Curl Queen, TIGI Strong Hold Mousse


http://public.fotki.com/kdawn12/


^^ day 1 of going CG; avatar = 6 months later
I have some Garnier Fructis Pure Clean Finishing Paste/Cream that I've been using, I've also used Queen Helene Royal Curl Smoothing Oil, plain coconut oil, DevaCurl Set Me Up, etc. to SOTC. Pretty much anything I have on hand that's moisturizing and adds shine. I've even used a tiny bit of conditioner. For me it just depends on what styling products I used that day and how I want my hair to feel.

As for your pics, they don't look bad at all. They don't really look messy, they look more like your hair is losing a tiny bit of definition, like it's getting a bit fluffy. My hair does that too. You might try using a bit more BRHG, for added hold, or don't scrunch the crunch completely out. Use your fingers to very gently loosen your curls at the root and just barely SOTC on the ends. Enough so that it isn't crazy hard, but not so much that it's actually completely soft. I hope that makes sense.
How's My Hair?
Review: L'Oreal Evercreme Cleansing Conditioner
Review: Yes To Carrots Nourishing Shampoo & Pampering Conditioner + 35% off at YTC.com

3a-b, fine & medium texture, medium-high porosity from years of damaging. I'm addicted to changing my hair color.
Cleansing: No-Poo, Elucence MBS, YTC Poo,
Conditioner: One Condition, JC Too Shea!, YTC Condish, Elucence MBC, Joico Daily, KCKT
Styling: KCCC, LALPS, BRHG, Biotera Gel
SMB Photography
Agree with everybody - your hair looks good! if there is somebody who is great with curly hair nearby, they might give you a cut which holds its shape longer. But on to the protein... that can seriously give you a boost which helps your hair hold on to its waves and curls. As a protein treatment or in styling products. I use both a gelatin PT and I put Neutral Protein Filler (from Sally's) in my flaxseed gel. Hairspray helps some a lot.
My thing to deal with the late afternoon/early evening slump is to mist my hair with water lightly and scrunch. It re-activates the gel and re-forms the waves and curls. It dries in 20 minutes and I lightly SOTC again. Sometimes I have to put in a clip where I need more volume. It usually looks much like it did post-styling after that. A good root-shake restores volume for a while too.Some people do that with conditioner/water mix. Or water/conditioner/gel mix in a spray bottle.
I gotta tell ya', your hair doesn't look bad at all. It looks like waves in big chunky clumps (which is a good thing). Keep working on your goal, whatever that may be and DH may come around.
http://science-yhairblog.blogspot.com/

Last edited by IAgirl; 02-19-2012 at 10:21 PM.
Thank you SO much everyone! I really, really appreciate your advice!
much like everything else in life, taking care of hair takes time, effort, and a lot of trial and error...

so... don't give up, the harder the challenge the more sweet the reward!!
"Life is too short to keep your hair short"

Click here to visit - GRO YO FRO!
Hi all, I just wanted to say thank you again, and what a great site this is! I have been hanging in there and come a long way since I first posted this about 6 weeks ago. Since then I have tried a handful of new products, and many different methods for applying the products. I've also done IAGirl's PT twice now, and love it, and am on the lookout for more protein-containing products to add to my rotation. I also stopped scrunching with a t-shirt and try not to use bare hands to SOTC most days, and this alone has helped with achieving hold that lasts longer through the day. I finally gave in and purchased both KCCC and KCKT and those have at least proved to me I should keep trying new products to have a good variety of things to rotate through. I'll attach a photo of my hair today... this is definitely not the greatest hair day but it's a whole lot better than it was 6 weeks ago.

I keep learning more every day by staying involved in these boards. Thank you all for your support!
IAgirl and beeduh like this.

Last edited by wavymom; 06-04-2012 at 03:04 PM.
Boy am I having one of those days today! I'm hoping a wash a re-style today will give me better results. :/

But! Your hair looks great! Glad things are coming together for you!!
2c/3a/3b, Fine/med, Dense, high porous, & normal elas.

Lo-poo - Renpure Keratin, SMR, Giovanni SaS
clarifying - mix Johnson's H2T with low poo
Co-wash - Suave Nats. clar. or coco.
RO - GVPCB, Ion Eff. Care, TN.
LI - SMR, Cure Care, or RO
Seal - MO or Jojoba
DT - + honey, ACV, & EVOO to SM masque & GVPCB
PT - Gelatin!, CNPF
Styling - FSG, AIF, BRHG, LALS/PS, GF curl spray gel, SM Souffle/Smoothie, LOOB
Oils - MO!, EVOO, jojoba, GSO, SM Elixer, EVCO, VO5 Hairdressing

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