how do i manage my ringlets?
 

I have very tight ringlets which are shoulder length. I know that it's bad to wash your hair everyday but I find that it's the only way I can brush it- I condition it thouraghly at night, rinse, sleep on it wet and in the morning wet my hair brush and therefore brush it wet, again! How can I reduce the washing of my hair keeping my defined ringlets without it going fluffy and into a mushroom shape?! Thanks!

Why do you need to brush it every day? To detangle it?

It goes really frizzy and shortens which I'm not too keen on!

Instead of brushing have you tried scrunching in gel when it's wet to keep your ringlets defined?

Sleeping on wet hair is asking for frizz. I sleep on wet hair only if it is braided or in twists. I take them out in the morning and wear it as a style. It adds length too. I have major shrinkage, which is not the style I am going for all the time.
Try using a curl definer (esp one you can rewet) when you comb your hair wet, let it air dry, and pineapple your hair at night (this also stretches). You can mist with h20 and go in the morning.
IDK if this helps.

Brushing causes curly hair to become fluffy and mushroom shaped.

You don't need to brush your hair every day, I haven't brushed mine for the year! The constant brushing is most likely just adding to the fluff. At night you could try the pineapple method, plopping or putting your hair in a loose bun or braids to keep your curls in tact for the next day.

If you don't have layers, you might want to consider adding some at your next haircut. Having curly hair all one length contributes to the mushroom effect, and layers tend to reduce or eliminate it.