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-   -   Are we high maintenance? (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/general-discussion-about-curly-hair/142467-we-high-maintenance.html)

Calypso 03-30-2012 12:35 AM

Are we high maintenance?
 
I don't know if this is the right place to post this but I've been thinking about it a lot lately.

Many of us curlies, both women and men, like to take care of our hair so we often fuss over products and some of us consider ourselves as PJ's because we like to use a lot of different products. Does this make us high maintenance?

The only thing I fuss over is my hair. The only time I ever wear makeup is when I wear a little lip gloss or lip stick and while I do have clothes that are dressy, I'm normally dressed casual. Ever since I found this site and now know how to properly care for my hair, I've been called high maintenance by some people because I take a little more time with it when it comes to styling and so forth.

So what do all of you think about this? Is it so bad for us to want to look after our hair? I can't speak for any of you but I think of looking after my hair as a hobby.


Ignore the typos.

IAgirl 03-30-2012 01:14 AM

DItto - hair as hobby. It's fun to try things out. If it's keeping you from doing things you might want to do - then that can be a problem. If it rules your life, then maybe it's high maintenance. But "high maintenance" is so subjective; what you feel is "a lot of time looking after your hair" might be somebody else's minimum requirement. Especially if we grow up in low-maintenance hair families, or learned "straight hair care" then it's harder to feel justified spending more time. I used to be super-low maintenance (ponytail, braid) but I like my appearance better now that I'm slightly higher-maintenance so I'm willing to make the trade. My husband likes it too, so that makes me happier. I feel more confident and that has been a positive change.
Life is short. Messing with your hair is pretty harmless, so do what makes ya happy. If your hair gives you joy on a good day, you're certain to spread some of that around, whether you are aware of it or not. Win-win.

proudcurlygirly 03-30-2012 03:27 AM

;-) I agree with IAgirl, if styling and caring about your hair makes you happy, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. (I'm a proud member of the Hair Obsessed Psycho club, lol!:laughing9:) How your hair looks is definitely important in giving you the confidence boost you need, and if you put the effort into it, you are rewarded with gorgeous curls, which yours are by the way Calypso!:love4:

Fmasuhr 03-30-2012 04:08 AM

i think it depends on the person...... yes i agree hair is a hobby, i think most of us curlies agree to that one. But it still depends on the routine. i travel alot and go from one extreme climate to the other, so ive made my day to day routine really simple.

bigredapmi 03-30-2012 04:31 AM

We are not high maintenance. We are cutting edge. Doing something different. We all have gone out of our way to learn how to take care of our selves properly, and love ourselves for who we are. Doing this in a world that still thinks bubbles mean clean, and straight is in, no matter what the cost. How dare we love ourselves naturally!!
We search for knowledge, product, hairdressers who have gone the extra mile.
It's no different than someone who drives miles to feed their family organic food. Or people who are into fitness and look for ways to fit excercise into their day.
When the shelves are full of sulfate and silicone free product, and hairdressers are trained to cut dry and in 3D, we will be able to say we knew it all along. :smile:

winnowill 03-30-2012 06:06 AM

I don't think it's high maintenence at all. If anything I was more high maintenence when I was spending an hour just trying to make my hair straight when it doesn't want to do that. I wear little makeup and pretty much live in scrubs.
We just want to look good like anyone else.

Devushka 03-30-2012 07:36 AM

I guess I've always thought of the term "high maintenance" a little differently. Since I make my hair a hobby that I participate in and enjoy and doesn't involve anyone else, I don't see it as high maintenance. It's just something I like to do for me. "High maintenance" then, to me anyway, is when someone else has to deal with how much it takes to make you happy/keep you quiet. <-- That's not what's going on with me and what I myself do with my hair.

NocurlB4babies 03-30-2012 07:55 AM

Wearing my hair curly doesn't take me much more time in the morning than before it turned curly and I would blow dry and lightly flat iron. My husband has made the comment that I worry too much about my hair - blah blah, blah. I just know that I like my hair so much better now and it's much healthier than before CG. Maybe that makes me 'high maintenance' from his perspective...but I know most ladies spend about as much time as I do in the morning getting ready, so I guess I'm not obsessing too much :o)

smasters467 03-30-2012 08:09 AM

I love my curls, and going back to my natural hair texture actually saved me time. But I probably now spend that extra time on makeup. I'm beauty obsessed all the way around; hair, makeup, skincare, etc. I own more hair products, and spend more money and time on my hair than anything, but it's my thing. It's not high maintenance, most women in my experience, enjoy feeling good, and some of that comes from liking how you look, whether it's hair, or makeup or whatever. Feeling good about how we look is all part of self-esteem and confidence.

beeduh 03-30-2012 08:59 AM

I consider myself high maintenance, but only because in a way I have to be. I do like to play with my hair, but I also need products and a blow dyer because my hair does not look good at all if I just wash and go. I also try to take care of my skin, I wear contacts that I normally sleep in and then just rinse them in the mornings, and I have retainers I will probably have to wear every night for the rest of my life. I don't wear make up unless I'm trying to look nicer for something (a date, church, girl's night out...).

I don't think high maintenance is a bad thing. I enjoy taking care of myself and finding healthier ways of doing everything. I do wish I could simplify things though. My husband takes like 10 minutes to get ready in the mornings, where it takes me a little over an hour.

MichyM 03-30-2012 09:20 AM

Right now if you looked at the products in my shower you would definitely think I was high maintenance :laughing6: I started CG a month ago. Before that I had 1 shampoo and 1 conditioner in the shower (and my husband had his), and then 2 stylers that I used.

Now I have 1 no poo, 3 conditioners, and 5 stylers in the shower! I am trying things out to see what works best for me, but it sure looks a little cluttered in there right now.

I envy people who can get up and be out the door in a short time. I hate leaving the house without having my hair fully dried, so most of the time it's a couple of hours from stepping into the shower to walking out the door. I am hoping with time it becomes less!

swtndspcy 03-30-2012 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IAgirl (Post 1920639)
I used to be super-low maintenance (ponytail, braid) but I like my appearance better now that I'm slightly higher-maintenance so I'm willing to make the trade. My husband likes it too, so that makes me happier.

Yeah, that! I'm not a big make-up person either most of the time, but it makes me feel good when my husband comments on how nice my waves look! I lived most of my life as a straighty, and yeah, straight is easier, and faster. But I wouldn't trade my beloved waves for easy and fast!

curlangel0690 03-30-2012 11:24 AM

I subscribe to the thought that I am not high maintenance, my hair is. I'm the ultimate tomboy I grew up with boys, played sports, yada yada yada. The most girly thing that I ever did in my life was join cheerleading. Even then it was about the physical aspect of throwing girls in the air and flipping my body over in mid air, not the short skirt and makeup. My friends look at me know and ask when I turned into such a girl. I didn't really I just do my hair now instead of wearing a braid or ponytail all the time. I listen to it when it tells me it needs more moisture or protein or anything else it may want. So in that aspect it's my hair that demands my time, thought, and care. I'm just trying to take care of it.

msg 03-30-2012 11:38 AM

My bf certainly thinks I am when we are getting ready to go somewhere and we are in a hurry! Otherwise, who cares, it's just fun to make my hair, etc look as cute as possible. I used to be a total tomboy, now I love makeup and clothes and it makes me feel good, so I say POOOOH to anyone who calls me high maintenance. :munky2:

amandamarie 03-30-2012 12:03 PM

I've been feeling irrational guilt over that too. I always insisted I didn't want to be one of those "girly girls" who fusses endlessly over hair and makeup and skincare and etc (my sisters are and I sort of positioned myself in opposition to that) but between my new(ish) hair fixation and the fact that I'm increasingly walking out of the house wearing lip gloss and mascara and nail polish on normal days and that I really need to look after my skin because of my eczema, I'm becoming one.

But I'm not feeling anxious and devastated on bad hair days and I don't feel like I have to look good for anyone else; it's just a thing that I do for myself because I have a lot of fun with it. So what's the harm, right? Plus I figure once I get my routine down, I'll be spending less time on it (has already happened to a certain degree).

Touch.of.ink 03-30-2012 01:48 PM

It's not me, it's my hair
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by curlangel0690 (Post 1920903)
I subscribe to the thought that I am not high maintenance, my hair is.

I agree with this. I'm not high maintenance, my hair is! :)

Seriously, any time you care about something, you're going to put more time and attention into it, and when you do, it responds to that. Cars, for example, run better when you pay attention to oil, quality of gas, maintenance schedule, fluid levels, etc. Dogs, babies, homes, and hair...they all respond to care and attention. That doesn't make them "high maintenance".

What I need to get over is the idea that if I'm spending time and attention on my hair, it's not "really" curly. I'm just making it curly by the things I'm doing to it :)

And I am dying to get to the point where I don't have to go into the bathroom and check my hair two or three times a day. Just once in the morning is all I want to deal with! :)

Geek_Chic 03-30-2012 02:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigredapmi (Post 1920664)
We are not high maintenance. We are cutting edge.

Bigredpami, I never thought about it that way, but I love that line. I've always thought of high maintenance like Devushka does, something that someone else has to do or participate in or provide in order for me to be happy. That's not how I handle my hair obsession. It's simply something I enjoy, that I do for myself, that makes me happy. I do spend slightly more time on my hair than I did pre-CG, but it looks better, and I'm happier with it. For me that's a reasonable tradeoff.

caramix3a 03-30-2012 03:52 PM

Are we high maintenance?
 
"We are not high maintenance. We are cutting edge. Doing something different. We all have gone out of our way to learn how to take care of our selves properly, and love ourselves for who we are. Doing this in a world that still thinks bubbles mean clean, and straight is in, no matter what the cost. How dare we love ourselves naturally!!
We search for knowledge, product, hairdressers who have gone the extra mile.
It's no different than someone who drives miles to feed their family organic food. Or people who are into fitness and look for ways to fit excercise into their day.
When the shelves are full of sulfate and silicone free product, and hairdressers are trained to cut dry and in 3D, we will be able to say we knew it all along" - bigredapmi

I so agree, as a lay person! Ya-ay for someone pro putting this out there.
The term "high maintenance" can be a loaded one - often leveled against one if one cares about one's appearance at all, by someone who doesn't do a thing but would look better if he/she did, seriously. People who don't wear makeup say one is "high-maintenance" or "you're ruining your skin wearing makeup" if one takes any time whatsoever to put some on. Or it's leveled against women in general to make them feel like they're dumb and bimbo-like if we spend time in our beauty rituals that we each get into.
Also, if one is the only one in a straight-haired, no-nonsense household, they can't understand that one can't use any old shampoo, comb one's hair and be out the door - it DOES take a little more work than that to care for our hair, even with a relatively simple routine which mine is really. No blow-dryers or other heat treatments come into it LOL.
Personally I care what my hair looks like, and I also like to wear makeup, and take care of my skin. On the clothing end, I tend to like to be more comfortable than chic - stilettos are NOT on my radar, nor tight clothing that I can't move in - no thanks. I also don't use nail polish of any type anywhere, so that whole thing has passed me by and I don't miss it whatsoever. I've made a personal style out of my comfortable interesting layers and I usually get compliments anyway. And people do like my hair and I'm not around the haters any more.

LindseyLoo003 03-30-2012 04:20 PM

I also dont consider my self high maintanence, I was just born with Hair thats high maintenance. But i mean, CUrly or straight, most women will pay lots of attention to other aspects of their appearance such as teeth, makeup, skin, and even food

Soo many women also blowdry there hair fully everyday even if it is straight. Women typically spend more time getting ready if they can because there's no shame in wanting to look your best.

Doing a full face of makeup everyday with primer foundation and whatever little secret weapons takes a considerable amount time.

For me getting my routine down and just doing it right away after my shower and i try to do the same thing every day is helping me get ready alot quicker since i first started all of this.

Girly girl, tomboy, curly or straight we all have the right to at least an hour in the morning to ourselves. If anyone tells you your beautiful curls are high maintenance than they might just be jealous, or a man, try not to inform your man and show him everyyy little thing you do with your hair and makeup or they get sort of scared and they just don't understand what they like.

Calypso 03-30-2012 05:14 PM

What great responses! :D You all have so many great points and it's nice to see that others think of caring for their hair as a hobby as well. However, there is one thing that I need clarification on...

Quote:

Originally Posted by caramix3a (Post 1921138)
...The term "high maintenance" can be a loaded one - often leveled against one if one cares about one's appearance at all, by someone who doesn't do a thing but would look better if he/she did, seriously. People who don't wear makeup say one is "high-maintenance" or "you're ruining your skin wearing makeup" if one takes any time whatsoever to put some on. Or it's leveled against women in general to make them feel like they're dumb and bimbo-like if we spend time in our beauty rituals that we each get into...

So what exactly are you implying here? If taking care of oneself is considered as high maintenance then almost everyone is just that. Just because a person doesn't wear makeup or take over an hour to get ready it does not mean they look like garbage and that they do not care about how they look. That's just silly.

Many women who choose not to wear makeup, for example do so because they look better without it and they could also care less if others want to wear it. It seems to me that you have subtly taken a stab at people who naturally like to keep things simple because that's what works for them yet you yourself don't like it when someone does the same to you.


Ignore the typos.


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