Are we high maintenance?

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I don't know if this is the right place to post this but I've been thinking about it a lot lately.

Many of us curlies, both women and men, like to take care of our hair so we often fuss over products and some of us consider ourselves as PJ's because we like to use a lot of different products. Does this make us high maintenance?

The only thing I fuss over is my hair. The only time I ever wear makeup is when I wear a little lip gloss or lip stick and while I do have clothes that are dressy, I'm normally dressed casual. Ever since I found this site and now know how to properly care for my hair, I've been called high maintenance by some people because I take a little more time with it when it comes to styling and so forth.

So what do all of you think about this? Is it so bad for us to want to look after our hair? I can't speak for any of you but I think of looking after my hair as a hobby.


Ignore the typos.
3a/3b spirals and the occasional ringlet
M/iii
Normal porosity


Products I use:

Shampoo: Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Shampoo
Conditioner: Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Conditioner
DT: Matrix Biolage Hydratherapie Aqua-Immersion Creme Masque
Styling: Homemade FSG with Lavender EO & AVJ/water mist spray containing Epsom Salt, Lavender EO

DItto - hair as hobby. It's fun to try things out. If it's keeping you from doing things you might want to do - then that can be a problem. If it rules your life, then maybe it's high maintenance. But "high maintenance" is so subjective; what you feel is "a lot of time looking after your hair" might be somebody else's minimum requirement. Especially if we grow up in low-maintenance hair families, or learned "straight hair care" then it's harder to feel justified spending more time. I used to be super-low maintenance (ponytail, braid) but I like my appearance better now that I'm slightly higher-maintenance so I'm willing to make the trade. My husband likes it too, so that makes me happier. I feel more confident and that has been a positive change.
Life is short. Messing with your hair is pretty harmless, so do what makes ya happy. If your hair gives you joy on a good day, you're certain to spread some of that around, whether you are aware of it or not. Win-win.
http://science-yhairblog.blogspot.com/
I agree with IAgirl, if styling and caring about your hair makes you happy, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. (I'm a proud member of the Hair Obsessed Psycho club, lol!) How your hair looks is definitely important in giving you the confidence boost you need, and if you put the effort into it, you are rewarded with gorgeous curls, which yours are by the way Calypso!
IAgirl likes this.
UK Curly
Curl type : Boticelli, 3a, loose curls
Porosity : High
Texture : Fine/medium (I think!)
Co-wash/rinse out/leave in : L'oreal Full Restore 5, GFR&S, Schwarzkopf Bio Pomegranite
Gels : Umberto Giannini Flirty Curls Scrunching Jelly
Finish product : Boots Naked Style Frizz Fighter Serum or a pea-sized blob of condish smoothed over canopy
CG since Feb 2011
i think it depends on the person...... yes i agree hair is a hobby, i think most of us curlies agree to that one. But it still depends on the routine. i travel alot and go from one extreme climate to the other, so ive made my day to day routine really simple.

my hair: 3c, high porosity, high density and coarse hair (i think i finally figured that all out)
my hair loves conditioner only styling!
my hair goal length is bra strap length when curly.

I also blog about my hair journey, please feel free to read and comment/ask questions http://www.naturallycurly.com/blogs/...air-blogs/2494
We are not high maintenance. We are cutting edge. Doing something different. We all have gone out of our way to learn how to take care of our selves properly, and love ourselves for who we are. Doing this in a world that still thinks bubbles mean clean, and straight is in, no matter what the cost. How dare we love ourselves naturally!!
We search for knowledge, product, hairdressers who have gone the extra mile.
It's no different than someone who drives miles to feed their family organic food. Or people who are into fitness and look for ways to fit excercise into their day.
When the shelves are full of sulfate and silicone free product, and hairdressers are trained to cut dry and in 3D, we will be able to say we knew it all along.
steph35 likes this.
3a/3b coarse and thick.....big and red

Advanced Deva inspired Stylist
I don't think it's high maintenence at all. If anything I was more high maintenence when I was spending an hour just trying to make my hair straight when it doesn't want to do that. I wear little makeup and pretty much live in scrubs.
We just want to look good like anyone else.
hippiechic81 likes this.
HAIR TYPE: 2B/2C
TEXTURE: Medium
POROSITY: Low
ELASTICITY: Low
DENSITY: Medium
I guess I've always thought of the term "high maintenance" a little differently. Since I make my hair a hobby that I participate in and enjoy and doesn't involve anyone else, I don't see it as high maintenance. It's just something I like to do for me. "High maintenance" then, to me anyway, is when someone else has to deal with how much it takes to make you happy/keep you quiet. <-- That's not what's going on with me and what I myself do with my hair.
IAgirl and Touch.of.ink like this.
3b / Fine / Low (to Med) Density / Normal Porosity & Elasticity

Currently Using [*Holy Grails*]
Cleansers: DC No-Poo / DC Low-Poo / *BaSo & ACV*
Co-Washes/ROs: CJ Beauticurls Argan & OO / DC OneC / Organicals DC Creme
Additives: *Silk Amino Acids* / Honeyquat / Fragrance Oils
LIs (found some!): KCKT / CJ Beauticurls LI / CJ Curl Assurance Smoothing Daily Condish
DTs: *Coconut Oil* rinses / *Honey*, EVOO, & DC OneC / CJ Curl Rehab
Sealer: *DM Super Buttercreme*

Goal: APL Hair

Last edited by Devushka; 03-30-2012 at 07:38 AM. Reason: typo
Wearing my hair curly doesn't take me much more time in the morning than before it turned curly and I would blow dry and lightly flat iron. My husband has made the comment that I worry too much about my hair - blah blah, blah. I just know that I like my hair so much better now and it's much healthier than before CG. Maybe that makes me 'high maintenance' from his perspective...but I know most ladies spend about as much time as I do in the morning getting ready, so I guess I'm not obsessing too much )
2b/3a fine/med-hi density/high porosity (I think)/ highlight-no silicones/sulfates
Lo-poo - ABBA Gentle Shampoo/ Shea Moisture Curl & Shine
Conditioner: GVCB (love it!)/ Regis OO
Leave in
: As I Am
Co-Wash: Tresemme or DevaCurl NoPoo
Stylers: As I Am Curling Jelly/GF Pure Clean/ LALCurl gel - all with BRHG added
Style: scrunch/ diffuse, then air dry. I don't Have much frizz at all

Last edited by NocurlB4babies; 03-30-2012 at 08:12 AM.
I love my curls, and going back to my natural hair texture actually saved me time. But I probably now spend that extra time on makeup. I'm beauty obsessed all the way around; hair, makeup, skincare, etc. I own more hair products, and spend more money and time on my hair than anything, but it's my thing. It's not high maintenance, most women in my experience, enjoy feeling good, and some of that comes from liking how you look, whether it's hair, or makeup or whatever. Feeling good about how we look is all part of self-esteem and confidence.
NocurlB4babies likes this.
How's My Hair?
Review: L'Oreal Evercreme Cleansing Conditioner
Review: Yes To Carrots Nourishing Shampoo & Pampering Conditioner + 35% off at YTC.com

3a-b, fine & medium texture, medium-high porosity from years of damaging. I'm addicted to changing my hair color.
Cleansing: No-Poo, Elucence MBS, YTC Poo,
Conditioner: One Condition, JC Too Shea!, YTC Condish, Elucence MBC, Joico Daily, KCKT
Styling: KCCC, LALPS, BRHG, Biotera Gel
SMB Photography
I consider myself high maintenance, but only because in a way I have to be. I do like to play with my hair, but I also need products and a blow dyer because my hair does not look good at all if I just wash and go. I also try to take care of my skin, I wear contacts that I normally sleep in and then just rinse them in the mornings, and I have retainers I will probably have to wear every night for the rest of my life. I don't wear make up unless I'm trying to look nicer for something (a date, church, girl's night out...).

I don't think high maintenance is a bad thing. I enjoy taking care of myself and finding healthier ways of doing everything. I do wish I could simplify things though. My husband takes like 10 minutes to get ready in the mornings, where it takes me a little over an hour.
CG as of Feb. 2012
combination hair.
2c on top - low elasticity
3a&b scattered underneath - normal elasticity.
fine texture. thin density. A lot of it.
porosity: normal to high.
loves protein and moisture.
BSACV as needed.

products may vary. i'm a PJ.
loving Curl Junkie, Curly Kinks, and AS I Am.
Right now if you looked at the products in my shower you would definitely think I was high maintenance I started CG a month ago. Before that I had 1 shampoo and 1 conditioner in the shower (and my husband had his), and then 2 stylers that I used.

Now I have 1 no poo, 3 conditioners, and 5 stylers in the shower! I am trying things out to see what works best for me, but it sure looks a little cluttered in there right now.

I envy people who can get up and be out the door in a short time. I hate leaving the house without having my hair fully dried, so most of the time it's a couple of hours from stepping into the shower to walking out the door. I am hoping with time it becomes less!
I used to be super-low maintenance (ponytail, braid) but I like my appearance better now that I'm slightly higher-maintenance so I'm willing to make the trade. My husband likes it too, so that makes me happier.
Originally Posted by IAgirl
Yeah, that! I'm not a big make-up person either most of the time, but it makes me feel good when my husband comments on how nice my waves look! I lived most of my life as a straighty, and yeah, straight is easier, and faster. But I wouldn't trade my beloved waves for easy and fast!
http://www.facebook.com/sweetcurlselixirs
I subscribe to the thought that I am not high maintenance, my hair is. I'm the ultimate tomboy I grew up with boys, played sports, yada yada yada. The most girly thing that I ever did in my life was join cheerleading. Even then it was about the physical aspect of throwing girls in the air and flipping my body over in mid air, not the short skirt and makeup. My friends look at me know and ask when I turned into such a girl. I didn't really I just do my hair now instead of wearing a braid or ponytail all the time. I listen to it when it tells me it needs more moisture or protein or anything else it may want. So in that aspect it's my hair that demands my time, thought, and care. I'm just trying to take care of it.
Touch.of.ink likes this.
"I'm not high maintenance, my hair is."
3c mostly fine, high to normal porosity, medium density, normal elasticity

Co-Wash- VO5 Vanilla Mint Tea, TreSemme Naturals
LowPoo- GTTT
RO- GVP Conditioning Balm
LI- Giovanni Direct Leave In, GVP Conditioning Balm,
Stylers- KMFUM, Eco Styler Krystal, AOMMM, UFDCM,
Oils- Jojoba, Sweet Almond, Coconut
PT- IAGirl's Gelatin PT
DC- AS I Am Hydrating Mask
My bf certainly thinks I am when we are getting ready to go somewhere and we are in a hurry! Otherwise, who cares, it's just fun to make my hair, etc look as cute as possible. I used to be a total tomboy, now I love makeup and clothes and it makes me feel good, so I say POOOOH to anyone who calls me high maintenance.
Noni863 likes this.
FIA: 2b-c/f/i, normal porosity/elasticity I think?

Current favs:
lo-poo: Giovanni
Co-Wash: V05 Kiwi Lime
RO: CJ Beauticurls,
LI: Ouidad Botanical Boost
PT/DT: Emergencee, Biolage Condish Balm
Stylers: LALSG, Aussome Volume Gel
I've been feeling irrational guilt over that too. I always insisted I didn't want to be one of those "girly girls" who fusses endlessly over hair and makeup and skincare and etc (my sisters are and I sort of positioned myself in opposition to that) but between my new(ish) hair fixation and the fact that I'm increasingly walking out of the house wearing lip gloss and mascara and nail polish on normal days and that I really need to look after my skin because of my eczema, I'm becoming one.

But I'm not feeling anxious and devastated on bad hair days and I don't feel like I have to look good for anyone else; it's just a thing that I do for myself because I have a lot of fun with it. So what's the harm, right? Plus I figure once I get my routine down, I'll be spending less time on it (has already happened to a certain degree).
Noni863 likes this.
I subscribe to the thought that I am not high maintenance, my hair is.
Originally Posted by curlangel0690
I agree with this. I'm not high maintenance, my hair is!

Seriously, any time you care about something, you're going to put more time and attention into it, and when you do, it responds to that. Cars, for example, run better when you pay attention to oil, quality of gas, maintenance schedule, fluid levels, etc. Dogs, babies, homes, and hair...they all respond to care and attention. That doesn't make them "high maintenance".

What I need to get over is the idea that if I'm spending time and attention on my hair, it's not "really" curly. I'm just making it curly by the things I'm doing to it

And I am dying to get to the point where I don't have to go into the bathroom and check my hair two or three times a day. Just once in the morning is all I want to deal with!

Hair: Very fine, normal porous (Finally! Yay!), normal elasticity, loves high dew points.
Daily: Nature's Gate Tea Tree shampoo, GVP CB, Cure Care conditioner, aloe vera gel, Jessicurls products, Spiral Solutions products.
Monthly: Henna
As needed: John Masters Organics Sea Mist
HG Product: BioSilk Rock Hard Gelee (aka BRHG. It even has HG in the name!)
Last perm: 12/10/10
CG since: 3/9/12
Last haircut: 4/17/12
Gossamer Fringe (my blog)
We are not high maintenance. We are cutting edge.
Originally Posted by bigredapmi
Bigredpami, I never thought about it that way, but I love that line. I've always thought of high maintenance like Devushka does, something that someone else has to do or participate in or provide in order for me to be happy. That's not how I handle my hair obsession. It's simply something I enjoy, that I do for myself, that makes me happy. I do spend slightly more time on my hair than I did pre-CG, but it looks better, and I'm happier with it. For me that's a reasonable tradeoff.
CG since 11/2011
2c /3a F /Mii, low porosity

Summer Products /Routine:
Clarifying: ACV rinses, Suave Professional Men Deep Clean Peppermint
Low Poo: Renpure Luxurious Argan Oil
Co-washes: VO5 Kiwi Lime Squeeze or Strawberries & Cream
RO: VO5 KLS or S&C, Cure Care
LI (if needed): VO5 S&C, VO5 SC, Cure Care
Stylers: FSG, AIF,
Tresemme Flawless Curls Bouncy Curls gel
PT: IAGirl's (link) as needed
"We are not high maintenance. We are cutting edge. Doing something different. We all have gone out of our way to learn how to take care of our selves properly, and love ourselves for who we are. Doing this in a world that still thinks bubbles mean clean, and straight is in, no matter what the cost. How dare we love ourselves naturally!!
We search for knowledge, product, hairdressers who have gone the extra mile.
It's no different than someone who drives miles to feed their family organic food. Or people who are into fitness and look for ways to fit excercise into their day.
When the shelves are full of sulfate and silicone free product, and hairdressers are trained to cut dry and in 3D, we will be able to say we knew it all along" - bigredapmi

I so agree, as a lay person! Ya-ay for someone pro putting this out there.
The term "high maintenance" can be a loaded one - often leveled against one if one cares about one's appearance at all, by someone who doesn't do a thing but would look better if he/she did, seriously. People who don't wear makeup say one is "high-maintenance" or "you're ruining your skin wearing makeup" if one takes any time whatsoever to put some on. Or it's leveled against women in general to make them feel like they're dumb and bimbo-like if we spend time in our beauty rituals that we each get into.
Also, if one is the only one in a straight-haired, no-nonsense household, they can't understand that one can't use any old shampoo, comb one's hair and be out the door - it DOES take a little more work than that to care for our hair, even with a relatively simple routine which mine is really. No blow-dryers or other heat treatments come into it LOL.
Personally I care what my hair looks like, and I also like to wear makeup, and take care of my skin. On the clothing end, I tend to like to be more comfortable than chic - stilettos are NOT on my radar, nor tight clothing that I can't move in - no thanks. I also don't use nail polish of any type anywhere, so that whole thing has passed me by and I don't miss it whatsoever. I've made a personal style out of my comfortable interesting layers and I usually get compliments anyway. And people do like my hair and I'm not around the haters any more.
I also dont consider my self high maintanence, I was just born with Hair thats high maintenance. But i mean, CUrly or straight, most women will pay lots of attention to other aspects of their appearance such as teeth, makeup, skin, and even food

Soo many women also blowdry there hair fully everyday even if it is straight. Women typically spend more time getting ready if they can because there's no shame in wanting to look your best.

Doing a full face of makeup everyday with primer foundation and whatever little secret weapons takes a considerable amount time.

For me getting my routine down and just doing it right away after my shower and i try to do the same thing every day is helping me get ready alot quicker since i first started all of this.

Girly girl, tomboy, curly or straight we all have the right to at least an hour in the morning to ourselves. If anyone tells you your beautiful curls are high maintenance than they might just be jealous, or a man, try not to inform your man and show him everyyy little thing you do with your hair and makeup or they get sort of scared and they just don't understand what they like.
Fmasuhr likes this.
What great responses! You all have so many great points and it's nice to see that others think of caring for their hair as a hobby as well. However, there is one thing that I need clarification on...

...The term "high maintenance" can be a loaded one - often leveled against one if one cares about one's appearance at all, by someone who doesn't do a thing but would look better if he/she did, seriously. People who don't wear makeup say one is "high-maintenance" or "you're ruining your skin wearing makeup" if one takes any time whatsoever to put some on. Or it's leveled against women in general to make them feel like they're dumb and bimbo-like if we spend time in our beauty rituals that we each get into...
Originally Posted by caramix3a
So what exactly are you implying here? If taking care of oneself is considered as high maintenance then almost everyone is just that. Just because a person doesn't wear makeup or take over an hour to get ready it does not mean they look like garbage and that they do not care about how they look. That's just silly.

Many women who choose not to wear makeup, for example do so because they look better without it and they could also care less if others want to wear it. It seems to me that you have subtly taken a stab at people who naturally like to keep things simple because that's what works for them yet you yourself don't like it when someone does the same to you.


Ignore the typos.
3a/3b spirals and the occasional ringlet
M/iii
Normal porosity


Products I use:

Shampoo: Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Shampoo
Conditioner: Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Conditioner
DT: Matrix Biolage Hydratherapie Aqua-Immersion Creme Masque
Styling: Homemade FSG with Lavender EO & AVJ/water mist spray containing Epsom Salt, Lavender EO


Last edited by Calypso; 03-30-2012 at 05:17 PM.

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