What might cause you to change to a different salon/stylist?

Myrna · 04-07-2012, 05:34 PM

Everyone knows how hard it is to contemplate breaking up a ten year or more relationship. I am considering it. Part of it is that I dont feel my salon is very invested in curlies. Some of you may recall my post about not having a diffuser in the entire salon (OK, its a small salon, but still!) And, I am just not sure my hair is being cut to its best. So, I am going for a consult at a salon and with a stylist highly recommended here. What would make you "break up" with a long term stylist? or has this happened?

MichyM · 04-07-2012, 05:49 PM

I broke up with my stylist of over 10 years in January 2011. Well actually, my last visit was Sept 2010, but January is when I started afresh.

My stylist had been relaxing my hair (just to loosen the curl, not to straighten it) and coloring (demi-permanent to cover gray) it all those years, and to be honest, she really just was complacent about caring for and cutting my hair. She never got the color right, the cuts were just boring, and she kept trying to convince me to start using a brazilian Blowout. And at $400 a pop, there is no way that was going to happen.

One bad color too many, and I was finally done.

During those 4 months between salons, I decided to let my curls go back to natural, my hair was so dry from both coloring and relaxing.

I asked for a referral from one of my neighbors with curly hair, and adore my new stylist.

First, she got the color right from the get go. Unbelievable!

Second, she's got gorgeous, lower back length curls and fully supported me going natural.

Third, she's a fun person as a whole, we have lots of things in common - she's a serious hobbist photographer, and I retired (young...just so you know!) last year from running my own photography business and I actually look forward to seeing her.

It actually took me a couple of years of thinking about it before I left my other stylist. Odd, I know. I am SO glad I did.

My vote is if you like you consult at the new salon, go for it. And if you don't, keep looking!

ninja dog · 04-07-2012, 06:05 PM

I'm not loyal. I'll quit a stylist if she doesn't call me back, has screaming kids pulling on her while she's cutting my hair, gives me attitude, asks for favors, raises prices too much, etc. The scenarios described have all actually happened.

I can't imagine having the same stylist for years.

Myrna · 04-07-2012, 06:14 PM

Both your responses are very different, thanks much. I dont know if I am dissatisfied - I just dont feel really satisfied. I like my color - but there have been times when another stylist has colored my hair, and I somehow like her better, although I could not say why, exactly, maybe its the extra time she takes. The woman who cuts my hair - I like her too, this is not about lacking personality, I just have not gotten a really great cut in a long time, if there is such a thing. I dont like the overall shape. I dont like the products she - and the salon - uses, so I bring my own. And, when I just have the roots colored, I wind up styling my own hair as well. Evidently the colorist is quite comfortable with this, but the other colorist I mentioned styled my hair and did a fine job. So as I write this, I guess I understand my ambivalence.

raindear · 04-07-2012, 07:13 PM

Your salon has been your salon for some time. You let them know that using a diffuser on your hair was important to you and even supplied a diffuser so they would have one, but they can't be bothered to find it when you come in. And, you are concerned about showing 'loyalty' to them? They haven't shown any for you. I definitely think I would go elsewhere. Sorry if that sounds harsh.

For myself, since I am trying to finally embrace and nurture my curl, I have left my stylist (though of only 2 yrs duration, since moving) to try to find one who can understand and help me with the new challenges. My needs have changed.

Speckla · 04-07-2012, 07:45 PM

Asking me to allow her to 'fix' my hair while suggesting cutting my past waist length hair to an above the shoulder cut. This was said while she complained about how tangly my hair was, how much extra 'expensive' product she has to use in my hair.

Say, Bye Bye!

Myrna · 04-08-2012, 09:06 AM

If a stylist complained about my hair, that would do it for me, too. It's her JOB, for heaven's sake. Several of the posts here are about lack of professionalism and lack of pride in their work. I think there is a lack of professionalism in my salon as well, and I am tolerating it because I have been going there so long.

Also, I have mentioned this site to them and thus far, nada interest..

diaspora · 04-08-2012, 09:27 AM

Myrna, I would definitely switch if I were you, too. There are some stylists out there who know how to do curly hair, love curly hair, are adaptable, and we should support them. I'm taking my own advice and looking for a new stylist too.

For those of you who left stylists you were seeing regularly, did you explain why, or just leave? I just left one for the most basic reason-- she couldn't style my hair, and I tried seeing her 2 more times, gave her suggestions, but she was still incompetent with my curls. She used a regular towel to dry it and my hair was way too dry to absorb products. She tried to finger curl it to fix it-- not going to work on barely damp hair, and I almost felt sorry for her, but was like wait a minute, I'm the one paying for this! And she claimed she had a Deva training! I had to rinse, condition, and start over each time. I'm tempted to call the owner and tell them that this stylist couldn't style my hair so that maybe she will get more training and won't mess up other people's curly hair.

Myrna · 04-08-2012, 09:37 AM

OMG, are there actually stylist out there that DONT use terrycloth towels?? Not only does my salon use them - which I guess I understand - but my hair gets "scrubbed" with it, and I cringe. I have also mentioned several times to touch the hair as little as possible when drying...I guess I am complaining a lot!

ninja dog · 04-08-2012, 09:53 AM

I think some salons/stylists expect us all to feel grateful for them for the work that they do, regardless of the fact that it's our hour, and we're paying them.

You are not complaining too much. You are trying to get your needs met. If they merely tolerate it, well ---- walk away. Your loyalty is to yourself, and your wonderful hair.

Starmie · 04-08-2012, 09:58 AM

I had a stylist I went to for colouring for many years. When I started seeing her I was straightening my hair and she would trim it and all was good, but when I gave up the flat iron I soon realised that she really wasn't confident cutting curls and wouldn't layer it as she was too wary of it not looking right. As it turned out she gave up her salon and just started working a few hours from home and I took that as my cue to move on.
I then found a stylist who was good with curls and I would still be seeing him now but he left the salon. I saw a girl there a couple of times who seemed very knowledgeable but I ended up with very blah hair with not much shape to it so I stopped going.
It's a pain.

diaspora · 04-08-2012, 10:05 AM

It is really frustrating! If I still lived in NYC, I'd skip a few other treats to go to Devachan again, or try some of the other curly hair salons. There is a salon that specializes in curls here in Philly, but I've heard very mixed things about it. I did find 2 places here that say they do dry cuts, so one of them will be my next try. I wish someone had reviewed them on NC.

Myrna, have you located another salon you want to try?

curlangel0690 · 04-08-2012, 05:09 PM

My stylist has pin straight hair and still lives in the 80's when it comes to styling curly hair. The bigger the better. That being said the reason I continue to go to her is because she doesn't wash my hair with sulfates, took the time to invest in products in her salon that are silicone free, and takes the time to listen to me when I give a list of things that I don't want on my hair. She gives me a good cut and even though she does it wet I never have a few curls that are longer then the others when they dry. She knows I style my hair better than she does because as she has said before it's my hair I do it everyday and know what it likes best. She even flings open the cabinets to let me use anything I want and takes the time to find new products to see if they work better for me than others. It is her dedication and enthusiasim for my natural hair journey that keeps me coming back.

Curlini · 04-08-2012, 05:45 PM

I think it's time to leave your stylist when they clearly lose interest in your hair and stop trying. (sorta sounds like I'm talking about a lover rather than a stylist

) I left my stylist when I realized I hadn't been happy with how she cut my hair in months if not years. She seemed to go on automatic after a while - she wasn't really trying anymore and it showed! When I look at the photos from a few years back I cringe! And she was a curly... I agree with everyone here who says your first loyalty is to yourself and your hair!

Moonface · 04-08-2012, 06:02 PM

I'm 21 right now, and for my entire life, only one woman has ever cut my hair(this is excluding the first deva cut I had last month). It was one of those 16$ hair cut places, but for my whole life she did my grandmothers hair, my aunts hair, my hair, etc. So, I just kept going back -- cause she was the only one I had experience with.

But one day(last September, I believe) I went in with an idea in mind, and she wouldn't do it. I wanted my hair coloured in that ombre style, and she straight up said no. Not because she couldn't do it, she said, but because "There's no point in you getting it done here." And I stood there feeling awkward because.. well, me, not knowing any better, thought I was the one being the idiot! She basically told me that there was no point in me spending x amount of dollar here to have her do it when I could do it myself at home, because I would spend all this money with her, when it was a colour(red) that was just gonna fade soon anyways. And then I got the usual schpiel that I shouldn't ruin my hair with dying it, it was already a beautiful colour, etc. But my whole point going to her was because if I did it at home, I would have screwed it up and knowing my luck, made all my hair fall out! Or turned out green! Clearly, by going in there, I was willing to spend the money to have someone do it right as opposed to me using box dyes and manic panic at home.

Feeling awkward and VERY much like an idiot, I only got my bangs trimmed, and left. And when I got home and straightened my bangs(in the days I used to use the straightener), I discovered she hadnt even cut my bangs properly like I'd asked! I asked for an angle from the part, but she had cut it on an angle right across my forehead. So instead of a sort of '/\' bang, it was just '/' right across. (LOL Does that make sense?)

I haven't gone back since because when I told my friends they basically told me that it was wrong of her to say that, that if *I* want my hair colored, she CANNOT say no. I'm glad my friends set me right that *I* wasn't the idiot, I shouldn't have felt awkward and stupid.

So, after 21 years, that pretty much did it, for me. I never ended up getting my ombre, but sometime next month, I finally will.

asianrunner · 04-08-2012, 06:04 PM

I don't have any particular allegiance to any stylist/salon. I get a very basic dry cut that's hard to screw up! I would have no problem switching salons if the stylist wasn't receptive to my needs.

bigredapmi · 04-09-2012, 03:24 AM

Stylists are not trained to do curly hair!!! They just do not know how. I was included until about 5 years ago when I started comming here and learning absolutely everything I possiably could. So when you start talking like we do here, they have no idea what we are talking about. Start slow and at the begining.
That being said, I suggest finding a stylist with curly hair who wears it that way and is open to new ideas. I know this is not as easy as it sounds. Research a stylist like we research product!! Schedual consultations, try them out for a style only. Then see how you feel. Send them here, send them to the c.g. handbook, live curly live free. Shoot, send them to me. Give them some time to learn, they should be excited to learn something new!!!
In one way I am horrified at some of the treatment you curlys are getting. In another way I feel sorry for the stylists because we talk in a totally different language and they are just not trained.

raindear · 04-09-2012, 09:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bigredapmi

Stylists are not trained to do curly hair!!! They just do not know how. I was included until about 5 years ago when I started comming here and learning absolutely everything I possiably could. So when you start talking like we do here, they have no idea what we are talking about. Start slow and at the begining.
That being said, I suggest finding a stylist with curly hair who wears it that way and is open to new ideas. I know this is not as easy as it sounds. Research a stylist like we research product!! Schedual consultations, try them out for a style only. Then see how you feel. Send them here, send them to the c.g. handbook, live curly live free. Shoot, send them to me. Give them some time to learn, they should be excited to learn something new!!!
In one way I am horrified at some of the treatment you curlys are getting. In another way I feel sorry for the stylists because we talk in a totally different language and they are just not trained.

I went to one salon that was on the list here for a consultation. I wanted to learn more about the journey I am on. When I started to explain the things I am doing, and noticing, it was obvious that she didn't understand. I even told my sister that I felt like I had suddenly started speaking Greek. Then I found another stylist that was supposed to know curly hair. After a long conversation where I thought we were both on the same page, she cut my hair. Even after we had both agreed that I probably needed some length taken off the top to remove some weight and give my curls a better chance to get started, she trimmed very little off, ranging from very little to 1/2" in order to "even it up". I wanted some length taken off, and got the barest trim.

This has been something that has irritated me all my life, when I go to the "experts" in some field (computers, gardening, hair care) looking for more information, and discover that I know more than they. Now, I have to go to the list I found of Deva trained stylists in my area, and see if I can find any reviews on any of them, so I can see if the third time will be the charm. Wish me luck.

jaclyn15 · 04-09-2012, 01:02 PM

I feel your pain, Myrna! I am the kind of person that gets "attached" to salons and other service-providers, and even when their work is sub-par it's hard to break up. Especially because I am always scared of getting something even worse!

I went to the same salon for literally my entire life until I was 23. At that point I had been wearing my hair curly for a few years, and it was obvious that this salon was not helping me embrace my natural hair. In retrospect, they weren't even that great when I was straightening... I ended up with lots of mushroom cuts. One time when I was 13, they offered to chop off the bottom half of my hair so that the top would lay flatter. LOL can you imagine? Thank God my mother was there and said NO WAY!

I ventured off and found a curly hair specialist in my neighborhood. At first I thought he was amazing, but it's been a couple of years now and he's given me at least a few bad haircuts, and a lot of haircuts that are just "whatever." I like him a lot as a person, and I think that has kept me loyal even when my hair has been just OK.

A part of my aversion to leaving him is that I am so scared of someone really making a mess of my hair. I tried a DevaCut last summer and it was the worst haircut experience of my life - a choppy, uneven mess. I had to go back to my main stylist guy, hat in hand, and ask him to fix it. He was very gracious about helping me even it out, and I have been growing it out ever since.

I still don't know what I will do when I need it cut again.

Long story short, it is so frustrating that stylists get complacent when it comes to serving their long-standing clients. Plus, they ALWAYS take off more length than I ask for. Always! What's up with that? lol.

Myrna · 04-09-2012, 08:04 PM

Diaspora, yes, I looked at the salons recommended here, and the stylists there; several no longer work there but one does. I have a consult set up with her, and I was clear that all I want at this point is a consult. I have not made a firm decision yet to change, and I told her that, that I have been going one place for over 10 years and it is a difficult decision. Jaclyn, I am also fearful that someone new will make a huge mess, and then what?? isnt it terrible that we have to think of these things? Also, my salon is a bit of a community; I know several of the women who go there to get their hair done; my colorist does not charge me extra for highlights; and, when I found out I was getting divorced, my stylist did not charge me for the cut. That was a kindness I will not forget. So, see, ladies? it's HARD!!