5 Things a Stylist Should NEVER Say to a Curly Client

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We're doing a story on some of the things a stylist should never say to a curly client. We'd love your feedback.

michelle
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Michelle
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NaturallyCurly.com
Hi Michelle,

How about after a stylist washes your hair after a cut or highlight, but they do it by placing all of the hair on the top of your head (as you cringe) and scrubbing the he** out of it, then when she attempts to run a brush through it, she asks, "Is your hair always this tangly?"


2. "You'd look so much better if you'd let me straighten it!"

3. "This is going to take forever…"

4. "Have you ever considered cutting it off?"

5. "Your hair must be a nightmare for you to deal with on a daily basis."

Last edited by sheilacurl; 06-28-2012 at 05:14 PM.
africana
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Never suggest that curly client get their hair straightened

Do not make negative comments about overly kinky/curly/coily the client hair is

Don't mention how your arm is tired etc from dealing with the person's hair etc
^^ +1 to both of the above posts! Asking if you want it straightened, or assuming that you do, is my #1 too.

Also, a stylist shouldn't lie. During the consultation, if you have one, if the stylist doesn't know how to style (or cut) curly hair, he or she should ask questions about how you do your hair if he/she is in any doubt. If the stylist really doesn't know what to do, it would be better if the stylist humbly suggested a colleague who is talented and knowledgeable about curly hair. They shouldn't take you as a paying customer then frizz out your hair, or worse, butcher it then frizz it out, on your dime. I have had this happen too many times, and though I'd probably be angry if a stylist admitted they couldn't do my hair (it happened once as a child), ultimately I'd prefer that to spending money on bad results.
Eowyn, Trianna, WurlyLox and 4 others like this.
Formerly Urbancurl.
Medium-high density, fine-medium, low-normal porosity, 3b/c, permanent color.
CG, no heat, combs, brushes, parabens.
Fall/Winter HG=Alba Botanica Soft Hold Style Cream.
Spring/Summer HG=MGA Sculpting Gel
Current fave LI=Madre Labs Made by Nature for Baby Conditioner.
Limit oils, butters, glycerin.
^^ +1 to both of the above posts! Asking if you want it straightened, or assuming that you do, is my #1 too.

Also, a stylist shouldn't lie. During the consultation, if you have one, if the stylist doesn't know how to style (or cut) curly hair, he or she should ask questions about how you do your hair if he/she is in any doubt. If the stylist really doesn't know what to do, it would be better if the stylist humbly suggested a colleague who is talented and knowledgeable about curly hair. They shouldn't take you as a paying customer then frizz out your hair, or worse, butcher it then frizz it out, on your dime. I have had this happen too many times, and though I'd probably be angry if a stylist admitted they couldn't do my hair (it happened once as a child), ultimately I'd prefer that to spending money on bad results.
Originally Posted by diaspora


I totally agree. Annoying though it may be, if a stylist didn't know how to style my hair properly, I'd rather them say so and give me the chance to go elsewhere than take my money and make a pig's ear of it anyway!
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UK Curly
Curl type : Boticelli, 3a, loose curls
Porosity : High
Texture : Fine/medium (I think!)
Co-wash/rinse out/leave in : L'oreal Full Restore 5, GFR&S, Schwarzkopf Bio Pomegranite
Gels : Umberto Giannini Flirty Curls Scrunching Jelly
Finish product : Boots Naked Style Frizz Fighter Serum or a pea-sized blob of condish smoothed over canopy
CG since Feb 2011
"I could give you a straight cut if you want."
"Wow, your hair really needs a clarifying shampoo!!!"
"Here, I can show you how to straighten your hair properly."
"You need to use sulfates if you want you hair clean."
"You NEED silicones if you don't want your hair frizzy."
"I'll thin it out for you."
"I'll make it shorter so it's easier for you to deal with."

hahaha, but my stylist is super nice and never says any of this stuff
rbb and whirlyhair like this.
2c/2b with some 2a, coarse, dense, thick, low porosity
Growing out a CL bob. Currently at APL.
CG again as of 7/20/12


Cleanser: BRÖÖ Smoothing I.P.A. Shampoo
RO: Trader Joe's Nourish Spa Conditioner
LI: Kinky-Curly Knot Today
Styler: Beautiful Curls Gel for Wavy to Curly Hair

all-natural products, light moisture, humectants, argan oil
silk protein, synthetic ingredients, heavy oils/products, cowashing
"I could give you a straight cut if you want."
"Wow, your hair really needs a clarifying shampoo!!!"
"Here, I can show you how to straighten your hair properly."
"You need to use sulfates if you want you hair clean."
"You NEED silicones if you don't want your hair frizzy."
"I'll thin it out for you."
"I'll make it shorter so it's easier for you to deal with."

hahaha, but my stylist is super nice and never says any of this stuff
Originally Posted by dresdendoll
Woa! I learned the hard way on that one years ago. Now if I even see a pair of thinning shears, I have an anxiety attack, lol.
Formerly Urbancurl.
Medium-high density, fine-medium, low-normal porosity, 3b/c, permanent color.
CG, no heat, combs, brushes, parabens.
Fall/Winter HG=Alba Botanica Soft Hold Style Cream.
Spring/Summer HG=MGA Sculpting Gel
Current fave LI=Madre Labs Made by Nature for Baby Conditioner.
Limit oils, butters, glycerin.
Another one, "You should relax it!"
whirlyhair and testimony777 like this.
Hair type: Mostly 3C, medium porosity to high porosity depending on the day, dense, fluffy, dry, tangly!



"Your hair is so dry and damaged."

My virgin hair has not seen sulphate shampoo for three years - no heat, no brushing, only saturated wide-toothed combing.

IT IS NOT DAMAGED, it is curly....that's all.

I have been soaking up info from this site for weeks but did not register until I read this thread and I just had to add a post. I had been going to a stylist for about 4 visits for just color and minor trims. The last time I went I told her that I was thinking of going a little shorter and asked if she would give it some thought before my next appointment to give me some options. I am not kidding these were her exact words to me "There are NO cute hairstyles for curly hair". I was honestly dumbfounded. Please note that it was my LAST visit. It is really difficult to find someone who knows how to cut curly hair. I had a Deva cut several weeks ago and while it was okay and the stylist was very nice, it was pricey and really nothing special. I could not tell that my hair was any easier to manage or looked significantly better than before. I have an appointment with a new person June 2 - I am so excited about it but dread it also because I know it will probably be another disappointment. I am usually a very optimistic person but more than a few bad salon experiences have jaded me. Thanks to all who contribute to this forum - your advice and experiences are very helpful.
I have been soaking up info from this site for weeks but did not register until I read this thread and I just had to add a post. I had been going to a stylist for about 4 visits for just color and minor trims. The last time I went I told her that I was thinking of going a little shorter and asked if she would give it some thought before my next appointment to give me some options. I am not kidding these were her exact words to me "There are NO cute hairstyles for curly hair". I was honestly dumbfounded. Please note that it was my LAST visit. It is really difficult to find someone who knows how to cut curly hair. I had a Deva cut several weeks ago and while it was okay and the stylist was very nice, it was pricey and really nothing special. I could not tell that my hair was any easier to manage or looked significantly better than before. I have an appointment with a new person June 2 - I am so excited about it but dread it also because I know it will probably be another disappointment. I am usually a very optimistic person but more than a few bad salon experiences have jaded me. Thanks to all who contribute to this forum - your advice and experiences are very helpful.
Originally Posted by hippiechik
Wow! I am blown away just reading that 2nd hand. I can only imagine what it was like actually hearing it spoken to you by someone you'd trusted your hair to several times. And I am totally with you on being apprehensive even about getting hair services done by a Deva stylist. You get burned enough times, well, it effects you.
Formerly Urbancurl.
Medium-high density, fine-medium, low-normal porosity, 3b/c, permanent color.
CG, no heat, combs, brushes, parabens.
Fall/Winter HG=Alba Botanica Soft Hold Style Cream.
Spring/Summer HG=MGA Sculpting Gel
Current fave LI=Madre Labs Made by Nature for Baby Conditioner.
Limit oils, butters, glycerin.
"You need a Keratin Treatment to take away the frizz"
"I need to blow it out straight before I cut it"
"No wonder you never try to straighten your hair, it's a mess!" No, it's curly, it doesn't want to be straight!
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Lindsay, a curly Mommy with a curly little man

Fine texture, fine density, normal to high porosity(?)

Modified CG since April 2012

Wash: DevaCurl Low Poo or SM Coconut & Hibiscus Curl and Shine Shampoo
COwash/RO: CJ Curl Assurance Smoothing, CJ Daily Fix Cleansing Condish, Shea Moisture Restorative
LI: KCKT
Style: KCCC, CJ Pattern Pusha, DevaCare Arc AnGEL, Loreal EverStyle Styling Spray
"Don't worry. I'll fix this rat's nest so it looks good again."
"Your hair would be pretty if it didn't have so much curl."
"Don't you want me to blow it out? I can make you look beautiful."
And my fave, "Straight is so in. Don't you want to fit in and look like everyone else?"
No, I don't want to look like everyone else, I want to look like me. So I will take my curly rat's nest and go be beautiful with the rest of the curly girls. Seriously if I here the words rat's nest when talking about my hair one more time........thank God I found a stylist who uses none of the above statements and cringes when anyone mentions straightening curly hair.
whirlyhair and diaspora like this.
"I'm not high maintenance, my hair is."
3c mostly fine, high to normal porosity, medium density, normal elasticity

Co-Wash- VO5 Vanilla Mint Tea, TreSemme Naturals
LowPoo- GTTT
RO- GVP Conditioning Balm
LI- Giovanni Direct Leave In, GVP Conditioning Balm,
Stylers- KMFUM, Eco Styler Krystal, AOMMM, UFDCM,
Oils- Jojoba, Sweet Almond, Coconut
PT- IAGirl's Gelatin PT
DC- AS I Am Hydrating Mask
One phrase that was painful to me: "I cut hair much better with a razor than with scissors, you don't need to be so careful"....what a mistake- it took several years to grow out the wreckage

2. "I'd love to give you some bangs"...not realizing that my bangs would shrink into 1/4 inch springs and not be bangs at all. I have long 8-10 inch layers(stretched out) at the front and my 'bangs' are 2- 3 inch ringlets in their natural state

3."Wow, your hair is really thin on top! I could see your scalp when you came in"...never say this to anyone with either curly or straight hair. It makes people want to use the above-mentioned razor on themselves....
shoulder length inverted bob; fine; 3A-3B; med-thick density; normal porosity; normal elasticity- my hair loves keratin, ACV, silk protein ,Curlkeeper and AG:Recoil ; seems to hate moisturizing products and oils except mineral oil; CG- Jan/'09-mod CG Sept/'09;CG again Jan/'10/mod CG from Mar'10

receive $10 off 1st order of $40 & up, or $5 off on smaller orders, when using iHERB code: GIK909
"I need to blow it out straight before I cut it"
Originally Posted by lag28wa
Ugh I had a stylist say that to me just the other day. Then she tried to run her fingers through my dry hair. I ran away with a quickness and I will never be going back.
One phrase that was painful to me: "I cut hair much better with a razor than with scissors, you don't need to be so careful"....what a mistake- it took several years to grow out the wreckage

2. "I'd love to give you some bangs"...not realizing that my bangs would shrink into 1/4 inch springs and not be bangs at all. I have long 8-10 inch layers(stretched out) at the front and my 'bangs' are 2- 3 inch ringlets in their natural state

3."Wow, your hair is really thin on top! I could see your scalp when you came in"...never say this to anyone with either curly or straight hair. It makes people want to use the above-mentioned razor on themselves....
Originally Posted by Ondulee
Or on the STYLIST!! That is so sh*tty to say to someone.


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diaspora likes this.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 939
I have been soaking up info from this site for weeks but did not register until I read this thread and I just had to add a post. I had been going to a stylist for about 4 visits for just color and minor trims. The last time I went I told her that I was thinking of going a little shorter and asked if she would give it some thought before my next appointment to give me some options. I am not kidding these were her exact words to me "There are NO cute hairstyles for curly hair". I was honestly dumbfounded. Please note that it was my LAST visit. It is really difficult to find someone who knows how to cut curly hair. I had a Deva cut several weeks ago and while it was okay and the stylist was very nice, it was pricey and really nothing special. I could not tell that my hair was any easier to manage or looked significantly better than before. I have an appointment with a new person June 2 - I am so excited about it but dread it also because I know it will probably be another disappointment. I am usually a very optimistic person but more than a few bad salon experiences have jaded me. Thanks to all who contribute to this forum - your advice and experiences are very helpful.
Originally Posted by hippiechik
"If you cut your hair short you're going to have triangle hair!"

Uh...isn't that what I'm paying you to not do? Aren't you supposed to have a strategy built into this haircut? I could just chop my own hair off straight across .

Oh and I'd also like to second the no lying policy. If you have no experience with curly hair, or black curly hair, just say it! Because when you wet my hair and exclaim in wonderment, "It's so soft!" You just freaking gave yourself away and I'm faking illness to get of that chair.

*Sigh* suffice to say I do not go to hair stylists anymore.
Something a stylist shouldn't do rather than something a stylist shouldn't say:

A Stylist should not do anything to the customer while the customer sits there helplessly saying, "I don't want you to do that to my hair."

If the stylist has a good reason (or thinks they do) for doing something the customer is asking them not to do, they should stop and discuss it with the customer, and the customer should have the right to say "no". I have had more than 1 stylist start in on me with thinning shears, or thinning procedures, ignoring my protests.
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Be Happy!

Type:2b/3ab?
Texture:Medium/fine
Porosity:Normal
Elasticity:Normal

Experimenting with too many products to name here. All this great info keeps my head spinning.
I have been soaking up info from this site for weeks but did not register until I read this thread and I just had to add a post. I had been going to a stylist for about 4 visits for just color and minor trims. The last time I went I told her that I was thinking of going a little shorter and asked if she would give it some thought before my next appointment to give me some options. I am not kidding these were her exact words to me "There are NO cute hairstyles for curly hair". I was honestly dumbfounded. Please note that it was my LAST visit. It is really difficult to find someone who knows how to cut curly hair. I had a Deva cut several weeks ago and while it was okay and the stylist was very nice, it was pricey and really nothing special. I could not tell that my hair was any easier to manage or looked significantly better than before. I have an appointment with a new person June 2 - I am so excited about it but dread it also because I know it will probably be another disappointment. I am usually a very optimistic person but more than a few bad salon experiences have jaded me. Thanks to all who contribute to this forum - your advice and experiences are very helpful.
Originally Posted by hippiechik
Wow, that is so ignorant! Curls have so many options and styles to go short. Someone who knows that little about hairdressing shouldn't be cutting anyone's hair, straight or curly!

I really hope your next cut is a good experience, don't give up, you will find someone good. Maybe be quite conservative the first time in what you ask for and if it goes well you can do more next time if you want.

Once a hairdresser suggested a cut to me and I asked how she thought my hair would react, what would it look like with that - ' we can't know what it would do because your hair is crazy'. I took that as a compliment but I also thought, well, you should be able to make a good guess if you are any good, no hair is completely unpredictable. What she really meant was, I don't know what it would do because I don't know/haven't been taught any guidelines about your hair type.

Also, and again took this as a compliment, once (misguidedly) was getting my hair blow dried straight and after about 2 hours (yep) the guy was beside himself and said he might have to phone the manager to come in. Felt a bit sorry for him because others have blow dried my hair dead straight in 20 mins.
UK based wavy

Mostly waves, but curls and straight bits too!
Fine to medium, high porosity, medium density, very low elasticity
Highlights damage (growing it out), seems to like protein and need lots of moisture.

Cleanse - CJDF, trying out low poos ; Co wash- Uk chemist brands, Urtekram Rose or Aloe, Hairveda Amala Cream Rinse; RO - varies, Tigi Moisture Maniac, Desert Essence Coconut ; Leave in - Keracare natural textures; Sealant - argan oil
Trying out new things, still looking.
"I need to blow it out straight before I cut it"
Originally Posted by lag28wa
Ugh I had a stylist say that to me just the other day. Then she tried to run her fingers through my dry hair. I ran away with a quickness and I will never be going back.
Originally Posted by Marci
Oh my goodness, i've had so many stylists try to run their fingers through my dry hair and rip me half bald then say something to the effect of "Wow, you don't brush your hair do you?" or "you should brush your hair. It's so bad not to."

I've also had many stylists insist that they needed to straighten my hair before they could cut it and one even
made little passive aggressive comments throughout our whole session "*heavy sigh* this would be so much easier if you'd just let me straighten it." "it probably won't look very good since i didn't straighten it first."

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