When I read these posts about guys not liking curly hair...

Myrna · 06-17-2012, 08:58 AM

...I get p- off. Can we gals - curly or not - imagine ever saying to a guy "I dont like your curly hair"?? It is ludicrous. And if we did, what do we imagine his response would be??? Sheesh.

GoddessCurls · 06-17-2012, 10:27 AM

That's just bull! Most of the guys I've know just liked long hair...they could give a crap whether it was curly or straight. And I've also had guys prefer my curls. When they see pics of me with straight hair (not good) I look way better now.

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raindear · 06-17-2012, 10:39 AM

I have dated guys with a lot of different appearance issues, and I would never mention these things to them, ever. I must say the reasons we broke up never related to their appearance. Their attitudes, yep, but their appearance, not so much.

Myrna · 06-17-2012, 10:54 AM

Yes, that is called MATURITY. I have struggled with my weight my whole life (husband LOVES me as I am, in fact prefers "a woman who looks like a woman") but I have dated men who wanted little skinny gals (irrespective of their "flaws" as men in their 50's). At the time, it was devastating. Now, I wish I had been stronger and just said, "There's the door, dont let it hit your ---s". But for a man to not like curls? Sheesh. Chances are, he is going to lose a lot of his hair by the time he is in his 40's. And, I can honestly say, that even as a child, Yul Brynner (for those old enough to remember him) was my heart-throb, and he was bald. Not a problem for me!!

blulight · 06-17-2012, 05:20 PM

Once, a puny, prematurely balding guy, with a beard that looked like armpit or pubic hair, tried to make fun of MY hair just because it's curly. Then there was another one, whose own hair looked like a ready for a retirement broom...

Guys seem to think they are flawless no matter how they look, while women are supposed to look like Barbies or whatever model/actress they fancy, and close their minds to all other kinds of beauty. Who cares about their opinions anyway? Women are not dependent on men anymore for financial support, can go to a sperm bank if they want a child and can have their pick of quality genes there, can have orgasms without men's help, can have successful careers regardless of their physical appearance... Companionship is nice, but only if it's a person who truly sees, loves, accepts and respects you, all of you, and is a real friend first of all. What's the use of anything less than that? This kind of person will see you as beautiful no matter what you look like to others. He will see you with his heart. When this is kept in mind, all the random nobodies' critical remarks of your looks become nothing but meaningless noise.

Curly hair looks so beautiful to me (and I love waves and curls on men too). Mine was straight until I was around 13 y.o. Before then I wished for curls, I thought straight was boring and thought I looked too plain. And after it turned curly I would straighten it occasionally, just for a change, but was happy to wash it the next day and be curly again. It just feels more like "me".

In a way it's actually good to have something that's not all that acceptable by superficial societal standards, be it hair texture/color or skin color, body shape, weight, or race/nationality, age etc. If I looked like a typical Barbie I'd likely have lots more male attention than I do, but would it be quality people and how would I know why they like me so much? And what's the use of all that extra attention anyway? I'd rather have just one person in my life who sees and loves me for who I am, than tons of all the shallow ones.

So I'm grateful to my curls (and small boobs, which I personally love for their size, any bigger wouldn't feel like "me" either) for helping weed out all the men who weren't interested in me just based on something about my looks, who would just end up being users anyway if I looked like they would want me to. Quality over quantity.

Jessiebanana · 06-17-2012, 05:29 PM

Honestly, having curly-kinky hair, I'll never expect anyone to like it, just tolerate it....especially in a sexy way. But even I wouldn't tolerate someone telling me regularly that they wish I did my hair different. My ex gf used always have something to say about what I wearing. That kind of criticism takes the wind out of your sails.

Myrna · 06-17-2012, 05:35 PM

Lapluie, them's fightin' words! I am impressed. In the years of the third wave of feminism, we said things like that, and often meant them; I dont know how old you are but it is gratifying to hear your spirit, and, as I continued to read, to understand that it was not simply "anti-male", it was "pro-relationship". I think you are correct; we feel terrible if we gain a couple of pounds, and a man just goes out and gets new pants. I wonder why so much of our culture is so superficial - all based on looks for women, and money for men. These are not the value with which I was raised. It makes me sad!

claudine19 · 06-17-2012, 06:55 PM

I agree with all of you, but in fairness, I must say that I will never forget the look of horror on my ex's face when he realized that the shorts that now fit him best were "Waist-Right Action Slacks." (There was elastic built into the waistband.)