Somebody help me, I'm ready to cry :( Serial product user who hates her hair...

modelKTford · 07-06-2012, 12:03 AM

I definitely don't mean to sound so dramatic, but I've seriously hated my hair all summer long. I'll post some pictures to show what I mean, but I'm so frustrated and sad I don't even know what to do.

First of all, I feel like I have ridiculous one-or-two-use flings with products. A gel especially will work great once or twice, and then after that my hair is just limp and uncooperative. I just tried La Bella Lots of Curls...and I am finding myself just getting frustrated and putting my hair up because of how it turns out. I'll see gorgeous hair on here that has bouncy, springy ringlets and I seriously want to cry. I also have friends who have gorgeous natural curls without doing anything, and I feel more upset because it feels like I spend endless amounts of time and effort fussing over my hair, trying to coax it into looking semi-pretty and then just putting it up anyway, and they just have no problems whatsoever.

Sometimes, I can get nice results, but it's so hit or miss that I can't even count on it. Right now I'm using the Suave Natural Coconut, and Tresemme Naturals with occasional Garnier Triple Nutrition as a deep condition. I'm trying out the Pantene Curly Mousse (didn't see any no-no ingredients) and I feel like I've been through every gel out there. No matter what I try, I feel like my hair never feels soft and full. It looks and feels stiff, crispy, and kind of weird...just product-y and sticky...no matter how long I air-dry, diffuse or scrunch it. Then what little curl I can get just falls out anyway and it's a huge mess.

I try to do IAGirl's protein treatment fairly often, but it doesn't seem to be helping much. I just got a new haircut which was supposed to help, but still...nothing. Here's some pictures: first of a lucky good hair day, and how I'd like to look...then of my new haircut, and then what I'm fortunate to get my hair to look like now before it all falls out.

I don't mean to write a novel, but I feel like there's no end to this.

Anyone else ever felt this way? What could I be doing wrong?

PS: Been CG since last August...

Here are some pictures:

Jas76 · 07-06-2012, 08:54 AM

Hang in there, my curly sister!

Yes, we all have days/periods when we feel like this. And this summer has been an odd one for hair - at least for mine!

Couple questions - what techniques do you use? Sometimes that makes more difference than the product. Do you clarify? It could be build up. Do you DT after your PT's? Could be a moisture/protein imbalance.

I have found for me that if my curl is dropping at the end of the day it's either because of humidity, or because of lack of moisture retention. So really, it's because I'm on one of the extremes of the moisture scale - too much or too little!

Of course I'm porous, so that is a big contributor of those issues. Not sure if that applies to you! But the solutions I have found are regular DT's and PT's, clarifying on occasion (typically before a PT/DT), and sealing - often with mineral oil. I also use EVCO at night sometimes, and I will pre-condition before washing. (even before co-washing.)

You have BEAUTIFUL curls! But I know what you mean - getting them to be consistent is a challenge! At least you know they are in there!!

lcl0706 · 07-06-2012, 09:00 AM

What did you use on your very good hair day? Have you tried that exact combo again? Do you keep a hair journal to document what you've tried?

I hate gel. I mean, I really really hate gel. I avoid it, especially the strong hold sticky kinds, because they do nothing but make my hair feel producty and gross. Sometimes I'll use a spray gel or a stronger gel watered down with a liquidy product but that's about it. If you don't like the product, don't keep using it... but sometimes it takes playing with it a bit and adjusting amounts to figure out what works best for you.

I was going to suggest a PT for you but you've been trying that! lol I wish I had better advice but I'm having an awful day myself and just posted my own rant. I'm here more for commiserating and sympathy than advice. I definitely had way way better hair days in the winter/spring than I've had in this summer from hell, that's for sure. I've been focused more on getting the damage grown out and cut off so I've been doing an LI only the past couple weeks and air drying, and if it looks like chicken-s***, then I put it up and deal with it. I figure I can't win em all!

What are your hair properties? I do think the Pantene Curly mousse is CG friendly. In general in the winter I do better with mousses than gels but again, nothing has played by the rules this summer. The only thing I've had consistent results with is KCKT as a nice leave in.

Which garnier are you using? I know they've reformulated GFTN to contain amodimethicone so if you're co-washing only, you could have build up.

modelKTford · 07-06-2012, 09:40 AM

Well, that's just the thing :/ I was using those products I just listed when I had that great hair day. I had like...one more, then no more. Now my hair just looks producty and weird, and instead of curling nicely, it kind of spazzes out into these weird half-hearted kinks that feels starchy almost. I guess my hair doesn't like glycerin or something. And it's not even like my hair waits til the end of the day to go limp...I'll be diffusing it and it'll seriously just end up looking like that, then I give up and put it up in a bun and feel sad all day long. :/

I know the layers probably need to grow out--this last haircut was one my great hairstylist did to kind of rescue me from this awful one I got a few months ago that just grew out enough to fix...but still, they don't even curl, they just kind of stick out (probably visible in picture). I should probably put up one more to show when it looks really bad, but I'm embarrassed. :/

The Garnier I am using is the Triple Nutrition Mask...the thick yellow one. I have really fine hair and I don't think it's SUPER porous.

Does any of that help?

lcl0706 · 07-06-2012, 10:01 AM

Maybe the GFTN mask is too much for your fine hair? I think it has mineral oil and possibly beeswax in it which can be hard to get out of hair and can OC it/weigh it down and make it feel producty and gunky. I hated that stuff after one use

If I ever need a DT, which isn't often, I use Curl Junkie Curl Rehab which is worth every penny since I don't use it much, it is amazing and the jar lasts a while. A cheaper option could be GVP conditioning balm (Sally's). You say your hair won't hold a curl, goes limp, won't hold a clump... those are all symptoms of being overconditioned and/or a lack of protein your fine hair needs.

Possibly check into a daily RO conditioner containing protein, since SN and TN don't. The SN coconut does, but it's a light protein and not high up on the ingredient list. Maybe the once-in-a-while PT's aren't enough for your very fine hair. I use protein literally daily in my conditioners. If I co-wash, it's V05 Kiwi Lime which has hydrolized collagen in it (same protein as the gelatin PT) and my RO is always ION Effective Care - a good protein AND moisture punch. Some people use that as their only PT but I buy that stuff by the giant pump bottle at Sally's.

Just some ideas, HTH!

ETA - I would also check into a low poo if you're not using one now. I can't imagine co-washing exclusively with my fine, thin hair. I need the cleansing of a low-poo to perk it up. I like YTCarrots (altho there's some controversy over the sodium coco-sulfate in it), to me that stuff feels really gentle. A lot of people also like Giovanni 50/50, I haven't tried it and thought the Giovanni TTTT was a bit harsh. There's also the Shea Moisture moisture rentention shampoo at Walgreens. Or maybe you just need a clarification, I don't hesistate to use a sulfate shampoo once or twice a month if I feel I need it and I definitely do it before I PT. I've been using Pantene Aqua Light which really does feel light and not as harsh as some others.

raindear · 07-06-2012, 02:27 PM

I am going to second the recommendation of a clarifying. I know Garnier Triple Nutrition was reformulated recently and is no longer CG.

I also know some here have better luck cycling products so that they don't use the same products day after day. Many people get better results this way.

Welcome to the "Wonderful Land of Irreproducible Results". I think we all go through this. What works great today, doesn't work at all tomorrow. Eventually, (I hope) we find the right protein/moisture balance, products, and routine that gives us more predictable results.

modelKTford · 07-08-2012, 07:34 PM

Seriously, it always just looks stringy and feels so weird. :/ I've heard good things about puddings/jellies, but I'm afraid my hair will be weighed down. Any recommendations?

I think part of it is that I wish I had tighter curls but don't think I'll ever really get them. Mine get pulled out for literally no reason and just hang there sadly. However, I'm gonna try some troubleshooting--just bought some GVP Conditioning Balm, think I'll research some options for things besides mousses and gels.

Again--any recommendations for good products--natural, cheap...I guess without too many chemicals, for fine hair, are appreciated. If I have any hair twins who happen to live in the desert, I'd love to hear how you manage!

Thanks for everyone's help so far

jsuzkelley · 07-08-2012, 08:11 PM

First off, I just wanted to say you have beautiful hair, and second, I totally sympathize with you. I'm not sure we're exact hair twins (our curl patterns are different and I don't have a problem with my curls falling out), but I think our hair properties are similar. I have fine hair, but pretty dense, normal porosity/elasticity, and I live in a dry climate (Colorado).

I agree with what some of the others have stated above that your hair sounds like it may be over conditioned or have some build up issues. I know that I don't strictly co-wash, but usually use a cleansing conditioner to help remove any build up. I like CJ daily fix. I don't use sulfates of any kind, or silicones, but find that if I strictly co wash (especially right now during the summer) it weighs my fine hair down. So, I would definitely recommend clarifying. I also agree that you need to tweak your protein/moisture balance.

I looked up the ingredients for the GFTN you're using (I believe you said it was the 3 min dryness undo, not the regular condish), and it has mineral oil pretty high up the list. Some people love mineral oil, while others find it does not work for them. It could be your hair doesn't like it. Or it could just be that the GFTN is too heavy for your hair (it does contain lots of oils).

I too do not like gels, and prefer cream gels or jellies. I just received some curly kinks samples, and really like their coil jam over the satin roots LI. You could also try conditioner only styling just to give your hair a break as you try to figure out what your hair needs.

Keep us posted on how things are going - we've all been there and will help you figure it out!

Sent from my iPhone using CurlTalk

kathymack · 07-09-2012, 05:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by modelKTford

Seriously, it always just looks stringy and feels so weird. :/ I've heard good things about puddings/jellies, but I'm afraid my hair will be weighed down. Any recommendations?

I think part of it is that I wish I had tighter curls but don't think I'll ever really get them. Mine get pulled out for literally no reason and just hang there sadly. However, I'm gonna try some troubleshooting--just bought some GVP Conditioning Balm, think I'll research some options for things besides mousses and gels.

Again--any recommendations for good products--natural, cheap...I guess without too many chemicals, for fine hair, are appreciated. If I have any hair twins who happen to live in the desert, I'd love to hear how you manage!

Thanks for everyone's help so far

My hair is fine and prefers the more natural products. I stay away from chemicals; however, my hair prefers the products from the online, boutique type companies--not cheap. I also rotate products. I wet, use a rinse out and style every day, seldom using any one product more then once every five days. Mousse can be drying, not only the ingredients, but the propellant, too.

My hair LOVES protein. I do at least one PT all year around and use a lot of products with protein. If you're easily overconditioned, you may need to up the protein.

Since you live in the desert, your dew points are low all year. Getting the right balance of moisture to protein will be more difficult, but it's doable.

I started out as a winter wavy/summer 3a. My hair was always described by stylists as having a fragile curl. Since I started lurking on nc.com, I've learned to use product/technique. Now, my hair looks like my signature all year around. If your hair is similar in that aspect, you should be able to reach your curl potential and have the curls all of the time, too.

wavymom · 07-12-2012, 11:09 PM

One more comment to you after re-reading through this thread: if you live in an area where the dewpoints are consistently low, try to avoid humectants in your styling products. These include glycerin and sorbitol, which tend to be in a ton of curly stylers. The Kinky curly curling custard I mentioned in my other post does not have strong humectants and is probably a good product to try if you want to. Since you use such a small amount each time, a tub will last you a long time, so don't be too put off by the price. But regardless - look through the ingredients of your stylers, and see what happens if you avoid glycerin / sorbitol / etc. Glycerin is a major frizz inducer in my hair and really dries me out. Mag sulfate does this too - not a humectant but it is so drying to my hair.

dresdendoll · 07-13-2012, 12:04 AM

*HEADS UP. This is a long post. (Sorry about that!!) You can skip to the bottom, if you want(:

I got those results you're getting from gel, too, especially KCCC. (Btw, I have 2c hair that's relatively thick and low porosity.) I have tried the CG method a few times, and I don't know what the deal was...my hair just wasn't liking it

I would have some amazing hair days where my curls popped and was soft and moisturized...but other days, I just got dry, frizzy, uneven waves. I thought that was weird they were dry considering I only was using conditioner and creamy products.

Anyway, I tried shampooing every once and a while and finally just gave up and caved not too long ago. I went from no poo, no sulfates, no silicones, all natural to the exact opposite...I got Herbal Essences Hello Hydration poo and condish. Well, my hair LOVED it! Kinda a guilty pleasure for me, haha. My hair was so soft and curled beautifully. Highly recommend the condish, btw. I realized my hair just needs to be washed regularly and needs a fresh start. The weekly ACVs and even daily cowashes weren't enough.

I got a salon lowpoo (sulfate-free) and conditioner, and my hair is so soft now that I've been lowpooing every day. I'm using light cones, and they're working great too.

I turned away from gel products long too because all they did for me was weigh down my hair (even though it's thick...so that's kinda weird...) and make it dry and crunchy. I love mousses! I'm liking the Suave Professionals one a lot, and it's only $3.

Sorry this was practically a novel! I guess my point is that sometimes CG isn't for everyone. The problem for me was the build-up and inconsistent results. I found I just need a moisturizing lowpoo safe enough for every day, moisturizing conditioner with cones that won't build up, and a styler that won't weigh me down or dry me out.

*Basically, I would recommend trying out shampoo again. A gentle one with moisturizing properties(: Using shampoo again was the only thing, I've realized, able to give me consistent results. Incorporating it back into my regimen worked well for me. Also, I learned that light cones are OK...at least for me(: Don't give up! Lastly.................I know a lot of people won't agree, and I myself used to not agree with this, but I think salon products perform the best. I, personally, would much rather invest in a product that will work very well and spend a little more than spend a TON on a lot cheap products I'm not sure will work.
...but that's just me. HTH