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-   -   Please help! I'm at my absolute wits end! (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/general-discussion-about-curly-hair/151501-please-help-im-my-absolute-wits-end.html)

IsabelleFenwick 11-01-2012 06:18 AM

Please help! I'm at my absolute wits end!
 
I have type 3 a/b curl, it always depends on the day. My issue is that no matter what I do it frizzes but it's still well moisturised! My hair is soft and retains moisture quite well but it doesn't stop the frizz! It is also quite flat at the top no matter how well my layers are cut, one week later and I feel like Pyramid head again!

I do everything right, co-wash in cold water only, use leave in conditioner products, air dry only, barely touch it once I've put the products in 5 minutes after my shower. I sleep on a satin pillow only(uni student, can't afford silk), I try not to put too much product in so that it won't weigh it down, I keep changing products because I just can't find any that work for me but I couldn't use no product at all or my hair would be far worse! At the moment I'm using argan oil, a leave in conditioner and I change between a third product, sometimes a mousse, sometimes more of a gel sort of thing. I occasionally use a loreal hair mask in the shower.

Its also worth a mention that I live in Brisbane, Australia which can be quite humid but regardless of weather it's always the same. I don't even go out in the sun that much but I have a few thick strands that seem quite dry in comparison to the rest of my hair. I'm actually thinking about shaving it all off and starting again!

I just don't know what to do anymore, please help me!

Fmasuhr 11-01-2012 06:37 AM

im australian as well, living in germany, for the last 2 years ive been moving back n forth n it has played a number on my hair. i got tighter curls, 3c, though they do get bigger in the australian weather. maybe you have build up and need a good sulfate to start anew.
it may be worth saying, that due to my change of climate all the time, ive got my routine down pretty simple and only really use naturl stuff. i use a bought cg conditioner and low poo. apart from that i only use conditioner oil styling n thats pretty much it. i dont know if you wanna give that one a try. but do a sulfate normal shampo wash first n see if that helps.
ooh yea argan oil is great! just make sure that its pure argan oil, cause they mix it with alot of silicones so if its got silicones in it then that might be your problem.
pure argan oil is one of my favs.

Knotty_Maddy 11-01-2012 08:07 AM

I had absolutely *horrendous* frizz too and could not figure it out! I was switching from one 'poo/condish to the next in desperation...there are a few things that stopped my frizz, along with all the other things you mentioned you were doing (I am taking those steps too).

This is what works for me, I can't swear it will for you, but I really feel your pain, lol! My few tricks are: leaving my condish in while I do my other shower stuff and putting my hair in a shower cap, then using the right layering of products for *my* hair, along with the super-soaker method (check out the forum stickies on methods, I think there are links at the top of the general hair topics page, as well as in the Newbies forum) I watched how Rudeechick did her hair in her super-soaker video and did the same thing, and voila, no more frizz! (or very little of it, anyways!) Better curl/clump formation too.

I think the reason this works is that using a Denman style brush after a base coat of leave-in condish and pre-styler, as Rudeec does, makes the hair stick together more in clumps, and so it binds in all those hairs that split away and want to frizz, back into the clump matrix, lol! Almost as though the Denman puts each hair back where it should be neatly. After I do this, I put my styling product in my soaking hair, re-wet it a little more, then I plop hair once, soaking wet, in a cotton t-shirt, for about the time it takes me to brush my teeth, then I remove that, and I scrunch the wet hair with another cotton t-shirt to encourage my curls and get some more of the water out. Then I replop in a third cotton t-shirt for about 5 mins.

I blow dry my hair (low heat and low fan speed) using the pixiecurl method with the diffuser, and during my final scrunching of the dry hair (to remove gel hardness or gel cast) I wear common kitchen rubber gloves so as not to ruffle the cuticles too much. And voila. Frizz-free hair :D For me, this is nothing short of a miracle! I think the combination of the steps I take is what reduced my frizz so very drastically...I also have a much better curl pattern too because of the super-soaker method.

This really does work for me, I hope it works for you too. I know Rudeec uses natural products, (I don't ;p I love my cones, lol!) and she is always frizz-free too, with lovely formed clumps, so it must be her method that works so well! The more times I use this method, the less and less frizz I have. I also know that many curlies who live in humid conditions use a layer of glycerin-type product in their hair (Like CHS Curl Keeper) after their leave-in condish, that seems to help them a lot. It depends on your hair, I guess, because everyone is soooo different! :iconbiggrin:

I hope this helps!

ETA: If you don't like to blow-dry, you can help your roots by drying your hair in a pineapple, or use hair clips along your root line to make them dry higher, so you won't get flat top ;)

IsabelleFenwick 11-01-2012 12:52 PM

Thank you so much Fmasuhr, I will definitely try a sulphate shampoo and check my argan oil! I have a feeling it's not the pure stuff.

Maddy, thats fantastic, I've never heard of some of these techniques which is exactly what I wanted because I was feeling like I was trying it all and could never find and new information that I didn't know. I'm going to have to run out and buy a bunch of this stuff, I also need more cotton t-shirts ;p I'll try your method, minus the hair dry(I don't even have one if those anymore!) and get back to you.

Thanks!

Knotty_Maddy 11-01-2012 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IsabelleFenwick (Post 2062433)
Thank you so much Fmasuhr, I will definitely try a sulphate shampoo and check my argan oil! I have a feeling it's not the pure stuff.

Maddy, thats fantastic, I've never heard of some of these techniques which is exactly what I wanted because I was feeling like I was trying it all and could never find and new information that I didn't know. I'm going to have to run out and buy a bunch of this stuff, I also need more cotton t-shirts ;p I'll try your method, minus the hair dry(I don't even have one if those anymore!) and get back to you.

Thanks!

Try as many methods as you can, there are so many listed in the "Methods" sticky :) one of them is bound to work for you! Good luck!

ETA: I've been using my SO's "X-L" sized Hanes brand t-shirts for plopping, they work a treat! And the right size too :)

IsabelleFenwick 11-01-2012 10:25 PM

Tried and failed horribly. Like it looks 10x worse than before, it's never looked this bad before. The appointment is booked.

Knotty_Maddy 11-01-2012 10:45 PM

This is terrible! I had no idea...so sorry! :( have you tried any of the other methods yet? what works for one person doesn't always work for another...also, your manner of cowashing might be an issue, or...doesn't agree with your hair type? Have you looked into the hair type menu at the top left? Are you protein sensitive? Are you low/high porosity? Have you done a sulfate wash in a while? Have you clarified lately? There are so so many factors involved, Really wish you wouldn't get the big chop before thoroughly investigating everything...worse yet, I feel totally responsible :(

IsabelleFenwick 11-01-2012 10:52 PM

Don't feel responsible! It's the method that worked for everyone, I had a look at many other methods. I've just become so disinterested and upset with my hair, so frustrated at all the "curly hair is easy" comments from those with straight hair.

I'm too stressed out and busy to keep spending the money and time on it, I work 9/10 hour days everyday and I study full time. I just need it gone so that I can stop worrying and get on with the important stuff. Even when I put it up it frizzes and makes me feel so self conscious! I don't have time for that, I think I will be much happier with out it :)

Knotty_Maddy 11-01-2012 11:02 PM

can you post a pic of your hair only, so everyone can look at it...? Maybe someone else can come up with an idea to help you. I cannot see shaving it all off as an answer, as you will just have the same problem, only on super-short hair...and if you have only tried one method, then you should try others before you decide...? there are so many good methods here, and so many, many curlies here to help you. I don't have straight hair, so i can't say it is easy, not sure what you meant by that. I have super frizz prone 2C/3A hair and my hair is protein sensitive and super, super fussy and frizzy...so...I truly thought one of the methods here would help you....did you post this also in the 3A column of the forum? I beg you not to act rashly, as regret may be the result :(

ETA I know that for some curlies, cowashing was NOT the holy grail. Have you perhaps thought of going back to low-sulfates and silicones...?

another ETA I wash with silicone poos and condish. Maybe that is why the super-soaker method didn't work...? but I do know that Rudeechick is all natural, so, not sure what went wrong there...too sorry, mate!

IsabelleFenwick 11-01-2012 11:12 PM

Sorry, I just posted on facebook about my curly hair and all I got were straight hair friends talking about how easy and great, I've just been getting progressively more frustrated and overly emotional about it which is quite pathetic I know :p

I have shaved part of my hair before and it came back quite well. I was thinking of going to a local salon renowned for it's curly cuts and getting a very short pixie cut. I think part on my problem is sun damage, here it's very harsh and nothing has ever been able to repair it, I'm not about to spend anymore money on a product that probably won't work.

It's just going to be far easier to maintain. Especially when I have to get up at 3.30am!

IsabelleFenwick 11-01-2012 11:19 PM

I will try the SuperSoaker method tomorrow. I have a feeling it was "plopping" that ruined it so horribly, co-wash is definitely what I need, My mother and all my aunts have curly hair, they taught me to just use the conditioner and it made my hair so much better!

But I genuinely want to cut my hair now, I've always been one for drastic cuts and now in this heat it's the perfect time!

Knotty_Maddy 11-01-2012 11:32 PM

Please keep us posted, anyways...I do know some curlies here thought plopping led to frizz, but my super frizz, it was the super-soaker/short plops that helped me so amazingly. It is kind of odd actually that something that worked so well for one may not for another - I mean, I know that is true but still! We seem to have similar hair types, so I thought it might help you.

Are you *sure* you aren't protein sensitive and using the wrong condish-wash for your hair...? I do know that mega moisture and no protein helped my hair. Have you tried the strand test? Check the hair types menu link on the top left part of the page to see if you are...I know that was part of my pilgrimage, I realised way too late that the protein poos I was unwittingly using were literally destroying my hair without me knowing it till it looked a ruin.

If you love big chop, then go for it, I guess! I lend you all my support, I genuinely care how you are doing and what works for you, please keep us posted!

FrizzLizz 11-02-2012 04:34 AM

Hi Isabelle

I am in Brisbane also, I just wanted to say hi and let you know that I feel your pain!!

I am new to the site so a lot of what I have just read has gone over my head, I need to read up a bit more.

I am at my wits end too with my hair, all my friends have beautiful straight hair and they always look gorgeous and I have shocking hair. I really hate it when people say how easy curly hair is:sad1:

I struggle trying to find decent products to use (and affording the ones I do find)

Hope whatever you do next works and makes a bit happier with your lot;-)

Good luck

Fmasuhr 11-02-2012 05:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IsabelleFenwick (Post 2062787)
I will try the SuperSoaker method tomorrow. I have a feeling it was "plopping" that ruined it so horribly, co-wash is definitely what I need, My mother and all my aunts have curly hair, they taught me to just use the conditioner and it made my hair so much better!

But I genuinely want to cut my hair now, I've always been one for drastic cuts and now in this heat it's the perfect time!

plopping doesnt work for me either, in germany or in australia, i just wrap my hair up to stop it dripping, but generaly plopping is a massive no no for me.
mmmm somthing else that i do: a vinegar rinse. i do this to remove hard water build up, again somthing that i have in germany but not australia.
i add lots of herbs to it, and make like a tea, let it sit till cold then i strain it and add a *splash* of ACV and use it as a final rinse. so i dont rinse it out i just leave it in to dry. the smell goes away as it dries.
also have you tried to seal? sometimes that helps with fizz as well.

fonki 11-26-2012 04:10 AM

I am going to suggest ACV as well. I do this once a week after low poo, detangler condish, DT. My curls pop afterwards.

But having them stay in place is difficult without good products which are really hard to get in BrisVegas. Price attack has some styling prods esp for curly hair. Also black is black hairdresser on the coast have some CG prods too. my hair loves cantu Shea leave in - not CG I don't think.

Also just back from hols in the hot hunid sun where we were swimming a lot and my hair became so frizzy. In the end I was just co-washing my hair with a DT after and leaving that in for the day. When I got home after swimming in the pool and ocean, I rinsed off, co-washed and sometimes use a ACV rinse. Once I figured out this routine it worked well

Do yr styling products have glycerin in them? Some people say it makes all the difference

Goodluck with figuring out yr hair. Everyone's different so it's really a matter of trial and error


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