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I just love seeing the faces of the hair-dressers when I walk in with my hair looking like Princess Merida's. The eyes widening in fear, nervous laughter, the uneasiness; funny, but also frightening to me. In all their time at beauty school, did they even practice on curly hair?

Probably the worst cut was when I was eleven. My stylist was some seventy-year-old man at Great Clips. He tried to cut my hair into layers, but didn't seem to know much and it ended up pretty short in the front, around chin length. It looked fine wet, of course, but when it dried and shrunk up I was left with about two inches of hair up front, and about a quarter of the way toward the back of my head it would drop to shoulder length, almost mullet-style. I didn't cut my hair for nearly a year after that incident.
curlyink3b likes this.
In twenty years of solo adult visits to the hairdresser not a single one recognised I have curly hair (~2b, clearly wavy when wet) which to me is the biggest hair crime, not actually understanding the material you are working with every single day.

One even permed my hair several times and was shocked how quickly it took a curl! Another gave me a lovely layered cut that would 'work with my slight waves', looked like Farrah Fawcett by the time I'd walked five minutes across town.
Originally Posted by Firefox7275
I can beat you on that one. I'm almost 55 and up until a few years ago just thought my hair was kind of wavy. Not one stylist ever told me my hair was curly--not even when I got multiple perms to make my 3a hair...3a!

I also don't understand why, when every time I'd go in I'd say something like "I don't want to spend a lot of time styling" (meaning blowing it out straight like they always did after a cut), no one simply said, "Well, your hair is curly. Why don't you do this instead?" What did I know? I was dumb and thought my hair was straight/barely wavy, because they acted like it was straight! I also thought my hair was coarse for years because a cosmetology student told me it was coarse. It's actually fine.
3a/b, F, normal porosity

Wash with either Suave Tropical Coconut, As I Am, or CJ Daily Fix
Condition with STC or Yes to Blueberries and detangle with Denman, rinse very lightly (baptismal rinse)
Add LAL gel, either Sport or Wet Look, scrunch with flour sack towel, and plop
Diffuse 5 minutes, then air dry

Last edited by CurlyInTheFog; 07-29-2013 at 01:30 PM.
I would have to say thinning my hair! It now takes me a long time to trust someone to cut my hair and I am always looking for someone that knows what they are doing.
The worst experience I have ever had with a hair dresser is that I was getting my hair styled in crimps (a wavy look) for a special occasion in April 2007. She had the Marcel iron turned up waaaay to high, and burned me at the back of my head. That spot was extremely short. And then my mom and I got home, and my mom saw that the hair dresser had also burned me at the side of my head. My mom and I were angry. This happened a few months before I decided to return to my natural hair and be done with a relaxer. I haven't gone back to her since. Now I'm careful with hair dressers using heat in my hair.
Last relaxer: May or June 2007
BC: May 10, 2013
Type: 3b/3c
Hair properties: curly, wavy & fine texture; medium thick to thick density; normal porosity; normal elasticity

Current Loves:
Shampoo: Shea Moisture Black African Soap Deep Cleansing, Shea Moisture Moisture Retention, Carol's Daughter Rosemary Mint Clarifying, Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla
Conditioner: Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque
Leave-In: Design Essentials HCO Leave-In Conditioner and Blow Drying Lotion
My stylist straightened my hair and then cut it!
Short layers--especially on the crown of my head. I do not want to look like Rod Stewart. Just not listening to me.
I am currently on a haitus from going anywhere near a hair cutter.
curlyink3b likes this.
I always had my haircut in long layers, my hairdresser decided to try new method. She tells me that it will make the layers more uniform. She combs all my hair forward away from my face and cuts. As soon as she drops the hair, I see I have a shelf about four inches away from ends.
Even people with straight have stories. Yesterday, the President of the company I work for goes to her hairdresser. She has baby fine straight hair about 4" long. Shewants a trim, not too short she's going to a big family wedding next Saturday. She comes to work very upset and who can blame her, she now has hair about... an inch long.
CG Since October 2nd, 2009
2C High Porosity, coarse, when I don't condition enough very brittle
Co-Wash: Devacurl & Devacare No POO
RO: Devacurl & Devacare One Conditioner
LI: Toadstool LI (Etsy) Scents: Fairydust & Sweet Orange Chili
DT: Coconut Oil & Monoi Tiare Tahiti Oil
Stylers: Deva B'Leave-in and CHS CK
My former hairstylist knew I was wearing my hair curly. Not only did she knock the CG method, she blow dried, straightened, then cut my hair dry and STRAIGHT.

So now I'm trying to grow out a cut that leaves me with tight curls in front that immediately drop 3" where my shorter hair underneath can't finish the full curl so it's straighter.
30 years ago and has owned a wig shop ever since, does NOT mean she knows what works for naturally curly hair these days. She *has* naturally curly hair, for crying out loud! BUT she wears a wig. All the time.

The first and worst thing she did to my hair was big chunky foils. I knew nothing about what she was doing. I told her I wanted highlights. She did the big chunky foils, and teased it up so I looked like I had square hair. It was '89, but my hair looked every bit of '64.

The reason I said first was because she's family and I didn't have to pay for the cuts. Took me almost 20 years to realize that it's not really free, just because I didn't have to pay for it. Won't even go into the mid-cut lectures I've gotten when I couldn't get away. :-O
Morgan_Adcock likes this.
3b/3c, high porosity, fine strands but lots of em!

APL/BSL when dry (bangs are to chin), but WL when wet.

Pineapple and satin pillowcase at night.
So when I was little, I had Shirley Temple curls - without the use of curlers. I know this only because there are pictures.

But then my mother started BRUSHING my hair and forcing me to brush it - 100 strokes. Twice a day. Before school and before bed. So the only hair *I* remember is frizzy, lanky, stringy, thin, and hideous. And I was NOT allowed to cut it short - it had to be long because "a woman's hair is her glory". Well it WAS, before she started taking a brush to it. Oh, and no conditioner for "little girls". It was baby shampoo, Prell, and Breck all the way. And boar bristle hair brushes full of hair.

So one day I just up and lopped my hair off myself, which got me a beating - but it also got my hair cut short. And that's the way I kept it for years, all through college. I had no idea I actually had curly hair because of the brushing and the short hair and who can remember what their hair looked like when they were 4? (My mother actually hid those pictures. I kid you not. She knew just EXACTLY what she was making me do to my hair - SHE used a wide-tooth comb on her own hair, AND conditioner. Shades of mirror,mirror, on the wall - thanks, Mom!)

I go into all this so you can understand how damaged my hair was, for how long, and how little I knew about my own hair the first time I went to a salon.

I decided to grow my hair out in my late 20's, about divorce-time. I'm sure you can figure the psychology behind THAT. Went to a salon, probably in a JC Penneys. I'd been getting my hair cut at a barber's up to then. Told them I was trying to grow my hair out but I was having trouble with all these weird flips at the ends (little did I know that was my curl trying to resurrect itself). So they suggested a perm. I said OK but I would like curls but not kinky curls. They assured me I would have curls.

They fried my hair. It is baby fine. It was crispy critters and it frizzed like the most stereotypical 60's afro - and I do not have "black" hair or anything close to it.

When I went back they claimed they had warned me not to try a perm. THEY TALKED ME INTO IT! I cried. I felt trapped into perpetual perms because it always looked so awful growing out. I went from one salon to the next trying to "fix" my hair every 6 months. I NEVER had a decent cut. I NEVER had a decent perm. And no one EVER mentioned that the reason my hair was getting all flippy while I desperately tried to grow it out was that it was actually ALREADY CURLIER than any perm anyone had ever put into it.

I would ask for a trim and they would lop off 6" of hair. I would tell them NOT to trim and they would do it anyway. I would ask for a specific cut and I would end up with something that would make a French Poodle weep. They would insist to me that if I would only buy $200 worth of their hair "product" all my troubles would be solved. They would spray aerosol hair spray on my hair (even when I told them not to) until it was so stiff I was afraid it would break if I touched it. Or if I managed to head them off at the hair spray pass, they would fill my head with styling gel until it was crunchy and looked liked the finest shiny hard lacquer. It looked like the hair on a ship's figurehead. Like wood. SHINY wood. More than once early in my salon-hopping career I ended up with bangs - despite having told the stylist in NO uncertain terms how much I HATE BANGS.

This went on for YEARS. I felt trapped into going back over and over again trying to get it "fixed". Until I moved to Puerto Rico - where I was too busy to find a salon and get it permed. Then one day I got up, showered and washed my hair, combed it out (I had gone from brushes to afro picks by this time because of the constant perming of my hair), ran to work because I was late - and suddenly realized I had CURLY CURLY HAIR.

I hadn't had a perm or so much as a trim in over a year and suddenly it was growing out, growing in, and curling like a mad thing. The thing I had been pursuing with the fervor of King Pellinor on the trail of the Questing Beast had been living inside my follicles all this time, struggling to get out, and I had been beating it down with chemical perms and bad hair cuts. Well, I had been allowing various stylists to beat it down, and then crying over the results.

I went to a stylist exactly one more time after that. She lopped 6 to 8" off my hair despite my SPECIFIC AND REPEATED instructions to trim off no more than an inch. When I caught her at it, she told me I would look LOVELY with a short hair cut and long hair was so passe and out of style - I don't know if she was trying to cover up a mistake, or if she had actually intended to butcher my much-fought-for long hair down to the nubbins against my expressed wishes. Then she tried to make me sit under a hair dryer despite the fact that I told her heat on my hair was a 100% guarantee of frizzing and increased breakage - she told me that was nonsense as my hair was "very coarse" (it is baby fine) and that hair dryers and blow dryers are "totally safe" for all hair types, AND that "heat is good for your hair - it makes it grow". When she did the cut, she wet it down and straightened it so once the curls came back after it dried, it was not only too short, it was uneven to boot.

I have never set foot in the door of a salon, barber, stylist, or other hair butcher ever again. And I'm sorry for any stylists on this forum who aren't idiots, but I have no respect at all for a "cosmetology degree". It's been my experience that they know even less about my hair than I do. I once had a cosmetologist insist to me that cutting hair makes it grow faster, so if I wanted it long, I must cut it short (and she was NOT talking about cutting off damaged hair); and that long hair will make you go bald because the weight of your hair will pull it out by the roots and it puts so much stress on the hair follicles that your hair will stop growing.

There are 500 million women in India who give the lie to THAT myth, LOL! She also had some vague notions about long hair causing depression and anxiety because it is starving your brain for oxygen. A real crackpot notion. Hair is dead. It doesn't use any oxygen once it's grown out of your head. Then tried to put me down for being an ignoramus because she had a degree in cosmetology (mine is only in Engineering and Computer Science with minors in Psychology and Biology).

They weren't all like that - but I have never, not once, met a stylist who knew anything about curly hair or who could cut my hair to look like the cut they were supposed to be doing or perm it without frying it.

If it had been me who ended up with the lopsided beret shaped hair, you had best believe there would have been NO PRETENDING to like such a monstrosity. There'd have been fur flying until they reshaped it not to look weird. I've had some bad haircuts - but never THAT bad. I've had some hideous cuts and forced them to "fix" it as best I could before I'd leave the salon, and I learned to watch them like a hawk. I would sit there with a mirror and watch what they were doing even to the back of my head to nip any tendency to layer or lop or otherwise not follow directions. And they STILL tried to do what THEY wanted instead of what I asked for.

I have never figured out what it is about hair styling that makes the hairdresser think they should be allowed to do whatever they want, regardless of what YOU want. It's like they all think they are artistes and you are merely the lumpen fodder whose sole reason for existence is to serve as the canvas for their artistic expression. Which might not be so bad - except they all seem to be Picasso ...

Last edited by Soj; 01-20-2014 at 02:02 PM.
I once had a stylist cut my hair dry.....but she decided she was going to brush out all of the curls first and then attempt it. Before I could even open my mouth, the damage was done. I asked her not to use a brush, but she didn't listen! It took months for me to recover from that one.


3B, fine, normal porosity, high density, medium width and length
Conditioner: Tresemme Naturals
Co-Wash: As I Am Coconut Co-Wash
Leave in Products: As I Am Leave-In, SM Smoothie/Milk
Air Dry

Looking for new products and methods to try!

Avatar is a product of this lovely lady: Ash The Painter on Tumblr


I hate, hate, hate ending up with a "shelf" probably more than anything with thinning shears a close second. I don't know if this what you want to include but what I hate the most was getting my hair chemically straightened in the '70s and my hair broke off at my part. Like everyone else I didn't know my hair was curly. I wish that stylist had taken a moment to look at my hair. He was too busy pretending he was Warren Beatty in "Shampoo".
SE PA
2C/3A med, med density,med elasticity, high porosity color-treated
Love NPF
Ecostyler-green & Volumax
Spritz & Condish
In October, 2012 I flew to the States to meet a guy I had known online for a number of years, and who I was in love with (happy ending tale, we are married now). A couple of weeks before that I went to get a haircut, so if my bangs were a bit too short I would have made two weeks for it to grow that 1/4 inch that usually works.

Well, I went to my usual salon, and got my hair cut, and for some reason another person came by and cut my ends AGAIN. I thought she was just fixing some un-eveness, but no, SHE CUT IT ALL A SECOND TIME of the amount I said I wanted at first.

I felt awful because I always went there and although they are not Deva cut, they're okay enough. They always listen to me, never do something I don't like, style my hair exactly as I ask them to. :/ but I wanted my long hair so much for the most important journey of my life and I felt ruined. At least my bangs were fine, lol, I guess.
A 2C, hopefully something more as my hair gets redefined. Lots of chemical/heat damage to get rid of! Currently at shoulder length, aiming for mid-back.

(Any HtBlack you find anywhere on the internet is most likely always moi! :3)
Listening to my mother.... I wanted to grow it out and I said that I wanted him to only cut the dead ends. However my mother told him to cut it short again. And he did what she said. I was so pissed off
When I was in my twenties and living in SF, a stylist at what was supposed to be a high-end salon cut my hair in a straight line in back. It was like he took a ruler and cut right along the edge all the way across. He also did a lousy job on the layers, but I had no idea of the disaster in back until my roommate noticed later that night. It was awful!
2c/3a?
Still new to all this, but so far I love:
Co-wash: As I Am Coconut Co-Wash
Leave in: Hawaiian Silky 14 and 1, Shea Moisture Raw Shea Hair Masque
Gel: Ecostyler Krystal, EO Tame Curl Control Gel

Any product recommendations are much appreciated!
Like most of you i hope... i cut my own hair.... but when i dont care about my hair because i feel like it is too long and drama ( I feel like that now). i will go to a natural hair shop and ask for a trim and see what i get...
Pre-Poo: Aleo/acv + oil
Shampoo: Shampoo bar
Conditiner: A Mix of things
Leave-in: thick leave in/ butter
Refresh: light leave in /water/oil

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