Tired of Hair..Should I Relax? (PICS INCLUDED)

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If I were to relax my hair, I would not do it bone straight so I guess it won't be so damaging. Also, I will only straighten my hair about 4 times a month. The rest of the time, I will wash it, put some products and let it air dry.

To me, that sounds less damaging than straightening my hair everyday. But maybe I am wrong. Please let me know what you think.

Again, thank you all for your responses. This site is awesome. So happy I found it!!!
Originally Posted by MissJenna
It'll still be very damaging. Flat ironing isn't nearly as bad, especially since you can use heat protectant. Honestly I used to flat iron my hair all the time and the damage was almost nonexistent compared to when I ha it chemically straightened
2a/b
medium/thick
high porosity (from coloring)

Shampoo: Mop Top Gentle Shampoo
Co-wash: Chistophe Robin Lemon Cleansing Cream
RO: CJ strengthening, Kenra moisturizing
LI: Jessicurl Aloeba
DT: CJ rehab, Christophe Robin Prickly Pear Mask
PT: SS protein treatment, Ouidad 12 minute
Stylers: Jessicurl RR, SS Firm Hold Gel
Oils: caudalie, sweet almond
Also relaxing isn't just bad for hair, which is dead anyway so who really cares, it's also bad for you scalp. Relaxer is one of the harshest chemicals we accept as normal to put anywhere near our bodies.
Originally Posted by Jessiebanana
This. Look up pictures of relaxer scalp burns/damage. Lye (or the replacement chemicals in no-lye relaxers) can dissolve a body. Seriously. I knew a kid in HS who got chemicals burns and was hospitalized and had to get skin grafts because he spilled lye on himself and didn't wash it off.
2a/b
medium/thick
high porosity (from coloring)

Shampoo: Mop Top Gentle Shampoo
Co-wash: Chistophe Robin Lemon Cleansing Cream
RO: CJ strengthening, Kenra moisturizing
LI: Jessicurl Aloeba
DT: CJ rehab, Christophe Robin Prickly Pear Mask
PT: SS protein treatment, Ouidad 12 minute
Stylers: Jessicurl RR, SS Firm Hold Gel
Oils: caudalie, sweet almond
HI!
It looks like you have 2c-3a curl type that became frizzy after having brushed (you brushed your hair in those pics, isn't it? ).
I second the previous advices about giving Cg a try, i think your coarse and dense hair will get great benefits
Curl Pattern: 2c-3a
Porosity: medium
Density: thin
Width: fine
Lenght: short (jaw-lenght)
2013 haircut: 1/25/2013; 07/04/2013

Routine: modified CG
CW: cone free and protein free conditioners
DT: homemade sheabutter hair creme /Hydraderm sheabutter hair mask+coconut oil+lecitin
Styling before diffusing FSG with hydrolized keratin
Once a month (or every 2 months): henna
Your right, my hair is brushed out in the first photos I posted. If I don't brush it out, you can see the curls and it is less frizzy and puffy but after brushing it out, the curls are looser but it is huge and puffty.

These are pictures of me after I shampooed+conditioned my hair. When wet, I only ran my fingers through it and put 4 different type of products! (garnier leave in, ic fantasia serum, aloe vera gel, then tresemme moose-in that order). I let it air dry.







If I don't soak it with hair products, it becomes so poofy and curly. But after putting so much products, it feels gunky and looks dull. Also, I am a university student on a budget so I don't have so much money for lots of hair products. It frizzes up horribly in humid/rainy weather even if I use a lot of products. It frizzed up horribly at school today and it was so embarassing so I ended up putting it in a pony tail and wore my hoodie.

This is why I want to texlax it! I won't use as much products and it won't frizz up so bad in humid weather.

Last edited by MissJenna; 01-30-2013 at 07:34 PM.
Your right, my hair is brushed out in the first photos I posted. If I don't brush it out, you can see the curls and it is less frizzy and puffy but after brushing it out, the curls are looser but it is huge and puffty.

These are pictures of me after I shampooed+conditioned my hair. When wet, I only ran my fingers through it and put 4 different type of products! (garnier leave in, ic fantasia serum, aloe vera gel, then tresemme moose-in that order). I let it air dry.







If I don't soak it with hair products, it becomes so poofy and curly. But after putting so much products, it feels gunky and looks dull. Also, I am a university student on a budget so I don't have so much money for lots of hair products. It frizzes up horribly in humid/rainy weather even if I use a lot of products. It frizzed up horribly at school today and it was so embarassing so I ended up putting it in a pony tail and wore my hoodie.

This is why I want to texlax it! I won't use as much products and it won't frizz up so bad in humid weather.
Originally Posted by MissJenna
There's no guarantee that your hair won't frizz in humid weather. My relax/texlaxed hair was so damaged/dry that it acted up awfully in humid weather. Ironically, my naturally curly hair loves the humidity and rain. I used more products when my hair was relaxed, because it was low porosity and never stayed straight (relaxer didn't hold well), and it frizzed horribly.

But really, it becomes really a game of experience. You still sound skeptical, so you can relax your hair if you really want to, but those against relaxing are just warning you of possible side-effects. Also, I definitely recommend having someone else doing it if you're doing a home relaxer...

And you definitely don't need that many products. While I think your hair looks awesome in the first pic, you're right in that for most, that amount of product is a little too much. I usually have 1-2 products in my hair at once, and it's my leave-in and a few drops of sealing oil. I kind of know what my hair likes now, so it's not really that difficult, nor is it a very time-consuming process. It's a matter of getting to know your hair.

But really, whatever you think will work. It was much cheaper/low maintenance for me to go curly.

P.S. I'm a bit confused why you posted such a thing in a forum that is known to be a haven of natural curlies. It's kind of obvious that most of the advice that you'd get is to not relax your hair...
Hair Type: 3c/4a, Med-High Density
CG since '09
Have you tried putting your products in your hair when it's really wet (still in the shower wet)?

I found I needed less products and even when I did use more, plopping my hair (you can google a tutorial it's really easy and you can multi task as well) tends to get rid of the gunky feeling.
Lucky Charm and Wurly_Girl like this.
If you want to cut down on products you buy, you can try multitasking with your products. I use my regular conditioner as my leave in, and I know other people do too. Also, I'm not sure if you need a serum, aloe gel, and a moose. Like, that's a lot of stylers. Have you tried cutting one or two of them out, and uping the amount of ones you us? Like, especially serum usually makes my hair feel gunky, so maybe you could try styling without that and just use the gel and moose. Especially if you use your normal conditioner as a leave in, because that would be more moisturizing and help your hair with frizz.
Fine Texture, Normal Porosity, Normal Elasticity. Dyed to brown a few months ago.
Lowpoo:
Trader Joe's TTT Shampoo
Rinse Out:
Yes to Carrots, AOHR, Aubrey Organics Rosemary Peppermint
LI: Yes to Carrots
Stylers: Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie, LA Looks Sports, Suave Professionals Captivating Curls Whipped Mousse
It's a no-brainer. Relaxer=more damage and dryer hair. Simply swapping your Head n Shoulders for a non-sulfate shampoo=softer curls with definition. Then you can go from there (if you even need anything after you've been doing that for a few weeks).

As someone said, a relaxer will NOT reduce frizz necessarily. I can testify to that. Also, just leaving it on for 5 minutes is the equivalent to a "texturizer", still harsh on hair. In my "former life", when I texturized, it made my hair feel rough in places.
3b/c?

Ringlet Fandango! ... Where curly ideas roam free

* 2 blogs this week: Pictures of My (Sorta) Big Chop! AND Turn a Nightmare Product into a Dream* My Albums
Your right, my hair is brushed out in the first photos I posted. If I don't brush it out, you can see the curls and it is less frizzy and puffy but after brushing it out, the curls are looser but it is huge and puffty.

These are pictures of me after I shampooed+conditioned my hair. When wet, I only ran my fingers through it and put 4 different type of products! (garnier leave in, ic fantasia serum, aloe vera gel, then tresemme moose-in that order). I let it air dry.







If I don't soak it with hair products, it becomes so poofy and curly. But after putting so much products, it feels gunky and looks dull. Also, I am a university student on a budget so I don't have so much money for lots of hair products. It frizzes up horribly in humid/rainy weather even if I use a lot of products. It frizzed up horribly at school today and it was so embarassing so I ended up putting it in a pony tail and wore my hoodie.

This is why I want to texlax it! I won't use as much products and it won't frizz up so bad in humid weather.
Originally Posted by MissJenna
I understand. I hated my frizz and wanted to relax my hair too. Been there, done that. Not the relaxing, but the hair loathing. Now I don't have much frizz if any. I get a little in the mornings when I wake up with is easily fixed/soothed and a little when I exercise or move around that's also super fixable. I realize the majority of curlies will always have frizz to some extent but most people here will attest they were able to get rid of the bulk of it just by learning how to properly moisturize and style their hair. It might just be your product and styling regimen that's keeping your hair from looking its best. If I tried to style my hair curly before I usually had lots of frizz at the canopy and bushy waves that turned into curly tendrils a quarter of the way down, similar to yours although I don't think your hair looks as bad as mine did back in the day. Yours is actually quite pretty and those pictures are nice. It's a sign your hair isn't so damaged from the styling it straight.

So first off I think you mentioned Head & Shoulders shampoo. I have to warn you I've heard such bad things about Head & Shoulders and how it can actually create more dry scalp and drier hair than help it. If you're going to switch one product in the shower, I recommend switching to a gentler shampoo. Next too many products (especially hair serums that are full of silicones) will leave your hair feeling gunky, even if it doesn't look it. I personally detest moose in my hair. It also has a volumizing effect and hello, I've got a lot of hair, a lot of poof, what do I need volume for? I suspect you just need a good leave in and a decent gel (since your curls are loose and need protection in order to not lose their shape.) You also need to implement a few things to encourage your hair to clump into pretty ringlets, which will help with volume.

For instance, make sure the last time you run a wide-toothed (so important! but I'm sure you know) comb through your hair is when you're in the shower, with conditioner and your hair is sopping wet. That's the only time you ought to detangle, and you should do it gently if you can. When you get out, try putting a light leave in. A bit of your regular conditioner should suffice. You want your hair to have the consistency of seaweed. Smooth it on. Then you can either put in gel when your hair is sopping wet or damp. I prefer the latter for me. My hair dries very quickly anyways so more often than not I don't have a choice. (My hair is high porosity so even though it is thick moisture leaves it quickly.) I smooth the gel on and scrunch it up. In between my leave in and gel I tend to scrunch out excess moisture with an old t-shirt. . . Maybe I mentioned my general routine before. I'm not sure. The reason I bring up reducing volume and poof again is yesterday I tried an experiment in which I raked in (finger combed) my products post shower. No dice! It was so not good. My hair was huge again because my curls were too skinny. In order to reduce volume you've got to let your hair clump. Honestly my hair is typically half even a third the size it used to be.

As for the reason you asked, I think you were just curious about people's experiences in general regarding relaxing. I'm sure any women out there who did have a good experience relaxing are probably hanging out on a different site but there is a section here in the curltalk discussion board about retexturizing and relaxing that you can go to. I'm not sure how active it is but I'd go there and post because women are probably knowledgeable and they'll share what worked for them.

If you really want to wear your hair straight, I recommend you keep flat ironing. It's not so bad actually. Use a quality flat iron, try to keep out of the 400 degree zone (although I never followed that rule. . . which is why my hair might be worse for the wear), and always use a heat protectant. A light hair serum which you gloss on the surface of your hair afterwards should keep the frizzies at bay. Then try to go at least three days before you flat iron again to prevent excess heat damage. Get a roomy shower cap so you can shower and not get your hair wet and mess it up. Be super careful when you exercise. Clip and pin it up. I would ice drink water during my workouts so I wouldn't get sweaty while exercising and mess up my hair. Also get regular trims to cut out old damaged hair and keep the cycle going. . . So 45 minutes straightening every few days, it was okay for me. It's just easier curly.
3A - C, HP, ME, HD. (Coarse, High Porosity, Medium Elasticity, High Density.)

CG since Nov. 2012

Poos: SM Moisture Retention + Yucca Baobab, TJ's Tea Tree Tingle
Condish: TJ 'sTea Tree Tingle*, SM Moisture Retention* + Curl & Shine + Yucca Baobab, Yes to Blueberries
Stylers: KCKT*, SM Curl Enhancing Smoothie* + Curl & Style Milk*, KCCC*, FSG*, CJ Pattern Pusha, Curl Keeper
Sealers: Jojoba* or Grapeseed* oil

* = HG

Hi!
Did you try to put leave ins on soaking wet hair (before remove the excess of water with the cloth)?
You can read my routine in my signature, i use few product, maybe you are still in search of your fav

You could need only 4 or 5 products:
1) light conditioner
2) heavy conditioner (with butter or oils in it)
3) mild shampoo
4) flax seed gel homemade

1) is for CW and for the styling, 2) for deep treatment and for styling, 3) to use once a week if you want and 4) for styling instead of gel and mousse.
dusalocks likes this.
Curl Pattern: 2c-3a
Porosity: medium
Density: thin
Width: fine
Lenght: short (jaw-lenght)
2013 haircut: 1/25/2013; 07/04/2013

Routine: modified CG
CW: cone free and protein free conditioners
DT: homemade sheabutter hair creme /Hydraderm sheabutter hair mask+coconut oil+lecitin
Styling before diffusing FSG with hydrolized keratin
Once a month (or every 2 months): henna

Last edited by Wurly_Girl; 01-31-2013 at 01:14 PM.
Have you tried putting your products in your hair when it's really wet (still in the shower wet)?

I found I needed less products and even when I did use more, plopping my hair (you can google a tutorial it's really easy and you can multi task as well) tends to get rid of the gunky feeling.
Originally Posted by MojoDojo
I suggested the same thing but i didn't notice you did it before me
Sorry!
Curl Pattern: 2c-3a
Porosity: medium
Density: thin
Width: fine
Lenght: short (jaw-lenght)
2013 haircut: 1/25/2013; 07/04/2013

Routine: modified CG
CW: cone free and protein free conditioners
DT: homemade sheabutter hair creme /Hydraderm sheabutter hair mask+coconut oil+lecitin
Styling before diffusing FSG with hydrolized keratin
Once a month (or every 2 months): henna
Your right, my hair is brushed out in the first photos I posted. If I don't brush it out, you can see the curls and it is less frizzy and puffy but after brushing it out, the curls are looser but it is huge and puffty.
why would you brush out your hair? of course it will poof and frizz if its brushed out dry. I still wouldnt recommend a relaxer. A lot of us have 'been there, done that' and have not had great experiences.

this is my hair if brushed out before/after:


judging from the last couple of pictures you posted, I think your hair looks very pretty! You have some amazing curl/wave potential, thats for sure!
- 2C - Coarse Canopy & med/fine underlayers
- MOP C Hydrating 'poo
- LOreal Natures Therapy Moisturizing condish, ION Effective Care, Garnier S&S (old formula)
- treatments: CJ Curl Rehab, CJ Repair Me!
- plopping, diffusing, and clipping the roots
Lucky charm, your hair is like honey.
3A - C, HP, ME, HD. (Coarse, High Porosity, Medium Elasticity, High Density.)

CG since Nov. 2012

Poos: SM Moisture Retention + Yucca Baobab, TJ's Tea Tree Tingle
Condish: TJ 'sTea Tree Tingle*, SM Moisture Retention* + Curl & Shine + Yucca Baobab, Yes to Blueberries
Stylers: KCKT*, SM Curl Enhancing Smoothie* + Curl & Style Milk*, KCCC*, FSG*, CJ Pattern Pusha, Curl Keeper
Sealers: Jojoba* or Grapeseed* oil

* = HG

Hi everyone, when I came out of the shower, I wrapped my hair in a towel for about 5 min to remove the extra water. Then I removed the towel and put in the hair products.

Also, I rinsed out my conditioner in the shower pretty well. But I put the garnier leave in conditioner after removing the towel.

I don't plan on wearing my hair curly the majority of the time and I think straight hair suites me better so that is why I am thinking about getting it texlaxed. Also, I have been wanting to texlax my hair now for about year but I have been a bit scared, thinking my hair will fall out or something.

I saw some women on youtube who are texlaxed/relaxed and their hair does look healthy but they do take care of it a lot. Some women even say their hair is more healthier with a relaxer. I think that everyone's hair is special and what works for you might not work for me and what works for me might not work for you.

Can anyone recommend me a good (and free ) website designed for relaxing/texlaxing so I can post my question?
I will definitely try your method dusalocks. Everyone is right, I do not need so much hair products. I just thought that the more I will put, the less frizzy and puffy it will get but it felt disgusting. And now that you tell me the that mousse does volumize, I feel stupid for using it!

Dusalocks, is conditioner more affective than leave in conditioners? Also, when I apply the leave in and gel, do I pull on the hair? When you are removing the excess water with a shirt, wouldn't you do removing the products?

I really wish I figured out my hair and what it likes when I was younger! I was a tomboy and never cared about my appearance but now I am learning to be more lady like
I will definitely try your method dusalocks. Everyone is right, I do not need so much hair products. I just thought that the more I will put, the less frizzy and puffy it will get but it felt disgusting. And now that you tell me the that mousse does volumize, I feel stupid for using it!

Dusalocks, is conditioner more affective than leave in conditioners? Also, when I apply the leave in and gel, do I pull on the hair? When you are removing the excess water with a shirt, wouldn't you do removing the products?

I really wish I figured out my hair and what it likes when I was younger! I was a tomboy and never cared about my appearance but now I am learning to be more lady like
Originally Posted by MissJenna
Sometimes just one product does the trick. I used to use just Tigi catwalk back in the day when my hair was a bit shorter (like a bob) and therefore easier to manage. My hair looked cute, but I wasn't able to keep the frizz away with that product either. Ever. Plus I had to shampoo daily. And any longer than my shoulders my curls would get so unmanageable/unruly/frizzy that it just got easier to wear it straight.

Oh don't feel stupid. Lot of people with curly hair like mousse, just usually those with finer or lower density sometimes. You look like you're like me. Higher or medium density and pretty thick. So gel is better there. Um, I think I was always a girly girl, but it just took me a long time to figure out what really worked for me. Using the t shirt might remove product but I only do it after applying leave in. That way it just absorbs water and the conditioning agents are already in my hair. Some people use the t-shirt or towel at the end of styling and then reapply a little more product. Or they just plop aferwards. It's all about what works for you.

As for the relaxing, why don't you ask one of the youtube gurus whose hair looks very healthy which relaxing treatment she did and how she maintains it?
3A - C, HP, ME, HD. (Coarse, High Porosity, Medium Elasticity, High Density.)

CG since Nov. 2012

Poos: SM Moisture Retention + Yucca Baobab, TJ's Tea Tree Tingle
Condish: TJ 'sTea Tree Tingle*, SM Moisture Retention* + Curl & Shine + Yucca Baobab, Yes to Blueberries
Stylers: KCKT*, SM Curl Enhancing Smoothie* + Curl & Style Milk*, KCCC*, FSG*, CJ Pattern Pusha, Curl Keeper
Sealers: Jojoba* or Grapeseed* oil

* = HG


Last edited by dusalocks; 01-31-2013 at 09:39 PM.
One of the beauty gurus was LuvMegz. She is very pretty and is relaxing using the ORS hair relaxer. She has healthy long hair and she maintains it real well. But her hair type is different then mine so I might not get good results like her.

I will try your method. It's simple, easy and quick. I do notice that gel really clumps my hair so I will only use that combined with a leave in.

I will post a picture of my hair with this routine soon. Thank you so much for your help everybody!
I say God bless you and anyone else for whom relaxing/texlaxing truly does end up as "healthy" for hair as people are claiming it will be. I'm still unsure how placing something on the hair that behaves like battery acid is supposed to do that, especially after having lived w/the outcome, but to each her own.

Okay I know that was a bit sarcastic sounding , but overall, my belief is that everyone ultimately has a right to her own hair journey, whether that's natural or straightened hair. So texlaxer or not, I wish you the best hair health possible
3b/c?

Ringlet Fandango! ... Where curly ideas roam free

* 2 blogs this week: Pictures of My (Sorta) Big Chop! AND Turn a Nightmare Product into a Dream* My Albums
Is that the home relaxer? (You know I'm wary of those.) I meant whatever treatment she may've gotten in a salon because there are so many! There are keratin treatments, japanese straightening, old school relaxers, something called digital perms which will supposedly give you straight hair with a slight wave. . . etc. I was looking into everything a year ago and I remember one woman with nice looking hair and I think she's had it ionically straightened. But korkscrew is right, you do damage it either way. Therefore you really have to baby it afterwards in order to retain length and decrease breakage. Some people are prone to breakage naturally and have to do that anyways, but I imagine it's trickier with relaxed hair. The good news is you can always go back to curly hair after growing it out. This site (and forum) will be around. Let me know how your experiment goes!
Korkscrew likes this.
3A - C, HP, ME, HD. (Coarse, High Porosity, Medium Elasticity, High Density.)

CG since Nov. 2012

Poos: SM Moisture Retention + Yucca Baobab, TJ's Tea Tree Tingle
Condish: TJ 'sTea Tree Tingle*, SM Moisture Retention* + Curl & Shine + Yucca Baobab, Yes to Blueberries
Stylers: KCKT*, SM Curl Enhancing Smoothie* + Curl & Style Milk*, KCCC*, FSG*, CJ Pattern Pusha, Curl Keeper
Sealers: Jojoba* or Grapeseed* oil

* = HG

Oh yes and hair type can matter when relaxing when it comes to how much treatment and the strength of the solution. I do remember them telling me that off of a phone consultation I had in which they said they'd have to look at my hair. Also has to do with how thick it is or where it falls on the wave-curl-kink spectrum.
3A - C, HP, ME, HD. (Coarse, High Porosity, Medium Elasticity, High Density.)

CG since Nov. 2012

Poos: SM Moisture Retention + Yucca Baobab, TJ's Tea Tree Tingle
Condish: TJ 'sTea Tree Tingle*, SM Moisture Retention* + Curl & Shine + Yucca Baobab, Yes to Blueberries
Stylers: KCKT*, SM Curl Enhancing Smoothie* + Curl & Style Milk*, KCCC*, FSG*, CJ Pattern Pusha, Curl Keeper
Sealers: Jojoba* or Grapeseed* oil

* = HG

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