Tired of Hair..Should I Relax? (PICS INCLUDED)

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Thank you Raquel26! I do like my hair straight though I think it looks better on me.

Here is a picture of my hair straightened with a flat iron:

you seem pretty determined about straightening your hair. I really wish you wouldnt because your curls are gorgeous. you keep saying straight suits you better, honestly I have never seen a natural curly who looked better straight. heck even straighties look better to me with a little added wave.

I really hope you dont relax. relaxers are just so damaging to the hair, their are some girls who manage to make it work and keep the appearence of healthy hair. but for every 1 relaxed girl with shiny waist length hair, there are about 15 with excessively dry, damaged hair breaking off in clumps everytime they look at a comb, wondering why their hair isnt like the first girls, and why they have no edges. dont believe me, one day take a walk through a all black neighborhood and look at the girls. why do you think black women love weaves and extentions like we do? its the damn relaxers! we are not programmed as women to have
f'ed up hair, the relaxers f our hair up! have you ever heard of the old school rap group salt n pepper? how about the hairstyle they all rocked at their debut in 1987? the asymetrical? chin length bob on one side, shaved off on the other? welp turns out it was thanks to a relaxer mishap, pepper got a relaxer that burned off all the hair on the left side of her head, the other girls shaved their head for solidarity.

and I dont even dislike relaxers only for the damage to hair. they are extremely dangerous chemicals. the same chemicals as draino drain cleaner but in creme form. the damn things will eat through a soda can! you apply them without gloves, you can get cheemical burns. on this board there is a thread tallking about the harmless conditioning herb henna, and how during use the henna can seep into your scalp and make your pee dark green. again harmless. but think about this, if harmless henna can get inside your body by seeping thru your scalp, why wouldnt a relaxer? and what damage would those caustic chemicals do once inside your blooddstream? come on now, think about it.

as far as keratin treatments, ive never had one, but id be suspicious of anything where the stylist was required to wear a damn gas mask while applying it to my head.

if you really must have straight hair, you would probably be better off with the flat iron. but learning to love and properly care for your god given curls would be best of all.
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Last Relaxer: February 14, 2011
BC: March 17, 2012
Porosity: Low to Normal
Curl Type: 4a/3c
Texture: Coarse
Density: Thick
Length:shoulder

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I just really want to see how my relaxed hair turns out. I am going to do a test strand and leave it on for only 5 min since I do not want to overprocess my hair. It might turn out ok, but I will never know if I don't try.

If I like how it turns out then I will get it done professionaly.

I am not sure what the CG method is? Can someone please explain it to me? Also, I am still unsure about my hairtype! HELP!

Thank you for your responses everyone! It's all good advice!
Originally Posted by MissJenna

Honey, it's so easy. You only need to know the basics to start off with. However, after a while you might start hanging out at the boards like I am because I feel like I learn something new everyday. It's really fun! But if you're a wash and go sort of person like I am, this is a good starting point.

Go to this guide:

Dorm Room Curly: All in One Guide for the Curly Girl Method

and this one:

How to Follow the Curly Girl Method for Curly Hair: 15 steps

Check out this site which is the absolute BEST to determine your hair's properties:

Live Curly Live Free - Home

That is where you'll learn or at least be able to guesstimate whether your hair is fine or medium or coarse, porous or not, and how strong you elasticity is. Since you've been flat ironing for a while, that may have altered some of your hair's properties and made it more porous or less elastic. You'll see what I mean when you read.

Live Curly Live Free - Curly Hair Basics

Go check out hair routines. I do something sort of similar to this:

Curly Hair Styling Routine 2012 - YouTube

only it's shorter because I use just leave in and styling gel. I also don't plop mostly because my hair, even though it's long and thick, dries quickly. I just scrunch out excess moisture with a microfiber towel. Also, if you are still using a terrycloth towel switch to using an old t-shirt (you don't need to buy a microfiber towel since I use my t-shirt just as often) to dry your hair immediately! That will really help decrease frizz.

ex of plopping I threw in:

Plopping Revisited (Long Sleeved T-shirt Method) - YouTube

If you like, you can go read The Curly Girl Handbook by Lorraine Massey which is how I got started. Quick read. Read it in an hour I think. But most of the information in that book you can get online.

Yeah I know I keep throwing waterlily716 at you but she's one of the first things that comes up when you google the curly girl method and since your hair look similar to mine if I brush it out and my hair looks similar to hers when I style it I figured I'd save you the trouble.

Curly Girl basics playlist:

Curly Hair Basics - YouTube


For me, I had more fun these past 2 months discovering my natural hair texture was not bushy and frizzy but pretty and shiny than I've ever had styling it straight. And I look great with straight hair since my hair is thick and looks so even when straightened. I got lots of compliments. But for some reason, the compliments I'm getting now that I'm curly mean so much more. Because it's actually me they're complimenting. It's like if someone were to compliment you on your green eyes if you knew you were wearing colored contacts. Wouldn't feel as good, you know?

...

I'm reading the other people's responses and I hope you don't think we're collectively shooting down relaxing altogether. It's just that this is a forum at a site called naturally curly so it's safe to assume that the majority of us have been in your shoes before in which we had undefined frizzy hair that we flat ironed and blew out regularly. And then we eventually found success in managing our hair. I didn't give up sulfates until five years ago. I didn't give up silicones until five minutes ago. But my hair is adapting very fast even though I used to style it the way you did. I love my natural hair now, which like I said, means more to me than loving my staightened hair. Nevertheless, I guess you'll never know until you try. (That goes for CG too!) And chemical treatments are something everybody dabbles in at some point or another. Some regret it, some don't. Hair should (if it isn't botched!) grow back. It's only as big a deal as you make it out to be. I know people who have relaxed all their lives. Started when they were three or four! But then their hair fairly short and prone to breakage. So that is why I'd rather pay more, have a good consultation, and go with a reputed professional who has excellent reviews. That is all I'm saying. You do whatever you like because it's your hair. I don't want to come off as over zealous. I just get really excited about hair nowadays. I know it's silly, but I'd really like for everyone else to be excited about their natural hair too.
Originally Posted by dusalocks
Wow!!! Incredible answer. I hang out on the boards for posts like these where j learn new things.
Thank you everyone I wish it was curly at the top as well. It looks weird since the roots are straight and the bottom is curly.

I feel uncomfortable when my hair is curly. I just imagine it so puffy and frizzy looking but to others it's not.

I might relax one tiny strand I will definitly keep updating!
Originally Posted by MissJenna
I have the same issue. Straight roots and waves that start around ear length and turn to curls in some places. Clipping my hair with small jaw clips hasn't really helped with developing curl at my roots, but it has helped give me volume, which is a good trade off for me. At least I wont have flat top, which makes the lack of curls up there more obvious
Originally Posted by sKorpio1190
I had this problem too.. Now I dry it upside down with a diffuser and it curls from root to tip. A lot of curlies recommend staying away from blow dryers, but I love mine and couldn't live without it (I have a CHI professional dryer and it works better than any other at making my hair shiny and bouncy). I take impeccable care of it and there is no visible damage. Deep condition regularly!
Please don't relax your hair! Curls are a blessing once you learn what works for you. Take these ladies' advice I promise it will be worth it. Your hair is so beautiful it would make me sad to see it wasted. It has such potential!! Please buy and read the book Curly Girl by Lorraine Massey. Cover to cover. It will be the best $13 you ever spend.
Thank you everyone I wish it was curly at the top as well. It looks weird since the roots are straight and the bottom is curly.

I feel uncomfortable when my hair is curly. I just imagine it so puffy and frizzy looking but to others it's not.

I might relax one tiny strand I will definitly keep updating!
Originally Posted by MissJenna
I have the same issue. Straight roots and waves that start around ear length and turn to curls in some places. Clipping my hair with small jaw clips hasn't really helped with developing curl at my roots, but it has helped give me volume, which is a good trade off for me. At least I wont have flat top, which makes the lack of curls up there more obvious
Originally Posted by sKorpio1190
I had this problem too.. Now I dry it upside down with a diffuser and it curls from root to tip. A lot of curlies recommend staying away from blow dryers, but I love mine and couldn't live without it (I have a CHI professional dryer and it works better than any other at making my hair shiny and bouncy). I take impeccable care of it and there is no visible damage. Deep condition regularly!
Originally Posted by curlypooks
Wow, I really need to get a decent blow dryer and diffuser to try such techniques out. But I find doing things upside down makes me tangly. Going to give it another go now that I have my FSG and a new haircut. There's a hair routine from someone I've been meaning to copy.

MissJenna, I love straight hair too and yours is obviously thick like mine so it has nice body. However I like curly hair more. There's something more vivacious about it. Again good luck on your hair journey, whichever path you may take.
3A - C, HP, ME, HD. (Coarse, High Porosity, Medium Elasticity, High Density.)

CG since Nov. 2012

Poos: SM Moisture Retention + Yucca Baobab, TJ's Tea Tree Tingle
Condish: TJ 'sTea Tree Tingle*, SM Moisture Retention* + Curl & Shine + Yucca Baobab, Yes to Blueberries
Stylers: KCKT*, SM Curl Enhancing Smoothie* + Curl & Style Milk*, KCCC*, FSG*, CJ Pattern Pusha, Curl Keeper
Sealers: Jojoba* or Grapeseed* oil

* = HG

Thank you Raquel26! I do like my hair straight though I think it looks better on me.

Here is a picture of my hair straightened with a flat iron:

Originally Posted by MissJenna
Wow. I think your curly hair misses you. (Sorry, just my opinion ... )
3b/c?

Ringlet Fandango! ... Where curly ideas roam free

* 2 blogs this week: Pictures of My (Sorta) Big Chop! AND Turn a Nightmare Product into a Dream* My Albums
I have been going back and forth with deciding if I should texlax or not. Even though I bought 2 boxes of the Just For Me Softener and I threw out the receipt, I would rather lose that money then texlax my hair since it is really damaging and a hassle to redue the new growth.

After looking at some photos, I saw that my natural dark hair colour looks very inky and I need a new change. I do like dark hair but it has been this colour now for 2 years so I am bored of it. Considering that I want to add highlights to my hair, texlaxing is certainly not a good idea. I would rather have a less permanent straightening process like the keratin treatment.

I have looked at some DIY keratin treatments on this site and some had success with the QOD keratin treatments. I am looking into that now and looking at other possible treatments.

Can anyone recommend me a good heat protectant and leave in serum?
relaxing is not really a good method for curly hair even it can harm the scalp as well so it would be better if a normal shampoo with a light conditioner will be used
If you really want to straighten your hair go for it. I think the majority here think your hair looks nicer curly, but it is your hair. I did a relaxer because I pretty much convinced myself that I'd look better, feel better, and have better hair days with straight hair. The reality for me was realizing that even though I used a relaxer I STILL had to flat iron daily to maintain and smooth. Once I got that "straight hair bug" out of my system my new reality was realizing that even though my curls were still there they were now limp and delicate shadows of their former self. No longer could I just rake product in and go. I have to follow a very careful routine that caters to the now delicate nature of my curl. I went from a uniform 3a to a limp and random 2c. Is it an awful situation? Nope...it's just a whole new hair routine I have to follow along with having to figure out what products worked on my new hair type. Additionally I now worry will my hair ever go back to it's former state? I can say without a doubt growing out is a long tedious process.
After reading the comments.. it seems that the majority of girls who relaxed their hair found that it didn't increase their self-esteem and were unhappy with the amount of damage done.

Are there any girls who tried relaxing and loved it?
After reading the comments.. it seems that the majority of girls who relaxed their hair found that it didn't increase their self-esteem and were unhappy with the amount of damage done.

Are there any girls who tried relaxing and loved it?
Originally Posted by curlypooks
Yes! I'd be curious to know if anyone had a good experience. I'm not interested in straightening again but it's always good to pass along any good hair info, tips, etc.

Hope I haven't come off as negative or anything. LOL, I think I'm just having a "mom" moment when you've had a bad experience and you just want to pass that info along so others don't suffer the same consequences
I relaxed my hair about 3 years ago (in a salon), I did it twice so I had a full year with straight hair. I did it to see what having straight hair felt like and to get that bug out of my system. The first time was wonderful, my hair was completely virgin at that point. The results were amazing, I was happy about just getting out of bed, having a 5 min shower and going to class (that hair saved me fron being late a bunch of times lol). As for damage, it wasn't that bad. I didn't have breakage even though my hair is not the thickest. I got bored in the end, actually. So i transitioned back to curly hair and my curls have never been better (it was around this time that i discovered this website and started caring more for my hair's health). Once i chopped off the straight ends the curls were back I'm glad i relaxed my hair back then since i realized how boring straight hair was and how i didn't stand out at all next to my straighthaired friends
Latina

Type: 3a
Dense, fine/medium texture, low porosity

Low-poo: Devacurl No-Poo/ Yes to Carrots Nourishing Shampoo/ Elacel Aloe Vera Shampoo
Conditioner: Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition Conditioner
Leave-in: Devacurl Set It Free/Lush R& B
Styling: Herbal Essences Set Me Up Spray-Gel/ L'Oreal Silk & Gloss Curl Power Mousse
I'm not sure if the image links will be ok, first time doing this on my phone...
The first one was my curly hair pre-relaxer and pre CG

The second one was recently after my first relaxer.

The last one is my hair a few weeks ago, about 2 years after doing my transition and a year of doing mod CG!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fb...type=3&theater


http://m.facebook.com/home.php?refsr...user=599000329

Tired of Hair..Should I Relax? (PICS INCLUDED)-imageuploadedbycurltalk1360511278.547167.jpg
Latina

Type: 3a
Dense, fine/medium texture, low porosity

Low-poo: Devacurl No-Poo/ Yes to Carrots Nourishing Shampoo/ Elacel Aloe Vera Shampoo
Conditioner: Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition Conditioner
Leave-in: Devacurl Set It Free/Lush R& B
Styling: Herbal Essences Set Me Up Spray-Gel/ L'Oreal Silk & Gloss Curl Power Mousse

Last edited by kolochita; 02-10-2013 at 08:52 AM.
After reading the comments.. it seems that the majority of girls who relaxed their hair found that it didn't increase their self-esteem and were unhappy with the amount of damage done.

Are there any girls who tried relaxing and loved it?
Originally Posted by curlypooks
The first time I did it - eons ago - I remember a short-lived feeling of elation after the relaxer was rinsed out of my hair. The lady still blew dry my hair straight after all that, and looking at my straight (okay, slightly wavy - it didn't really work) hair made me think "Hooray! Now I don't have to bother with my hair anymore!" ... And if I'm being really honest, I was also brain-washed at that time to think I looked prettier with it, too because I was surrounded by almost nothing but straight-haired people.

That elated feeling lasted until I rinsed my hair. Then it just looked like my "old" hair again. Just totally reverted. And then it took me having to blow dry it straight after every wash for it to look straight - even on top of having that relaxer. (Now I know I could have just skipped the chemicals and just blow dried it straight lol.) Even after the blow dryer, I'd end up using a curling iron on the ends too to give it better shape.

You'd think all the needless, pointless work would've kept me away from relaxers. But it didn't. ... But now I view curls as amazing and wish I could take back time. That said, this is just a personal choice. It's hair, not a national event. If someone wants to straighten, alright. Just understand that permanent chemicals can have consequences to the hair and that even temp straightening can reduce the health of it.
dusalocks likes this.
3b/c?

Ringlet Fandango! ... Where curly ideas roam free

* 2 blogs this week: Pictures of My (Sorta) Big Chop! AND Turn a Nightmare Product into a Dream* My Albums
After reading the comments.. it seems that the majority of girls who relaxed their hair found that it didn't increase their self-esteem and were unhappy with the amount of damage done.

Are there any girls who tried relaxing and loved it?
Originally Posted by curlypooks
When I was relaxed I loved it. However, I didn't like how it tied me to the hair salon. My hair also didn't get fully straight I always had to flat ironed. When I look back I don't regret having relaxed hair, but I wish I had embraced my curls earlier. Now that I know how to properly care for them I love them and will never go back.
Holy Grails:
Cowash: DevaCurl No Poo or As I Am Coconut Wash
Conditioner: Giovanni Tea Tree Tingle
Leave-in: Paul Mitchell the Conditioner
Styling Products: EcoStyler Olive Oil Gel
Oils: Coconut oil. Carol's Daughter Hair Balm.
Deep Conditioner: Shea Moisture African Black Soap Purification Masque (also a great detangler and cleanser)
I do like curly hair but my hair is very thick and coarse. Each strand of mine is very thick compared to my mom's or sister's. Even though I weigh it down with so much gel, it still gets frizzy and puffy in humid/rainy weather. If I didn't have such thick/coarse hair then my natural hair wouldn't look so large and puffy. Thank god it's cold here in Canada now so I don't have to worry about the humidity frizzing my hair. But spring/summer will come soon and that is when I worry!


About 2 months ago, my hair was very long and layered (near my butt). It was such a pain to brush/wash it, and style it. I couldn't take it anymore so I got it cut. I really find it easier to wash/brush and it takes way less time to flat iron. Now I want to cut it shorter, maybe shoulder length.

I will most likely highlight and get a keratin treatment. I will highlight it at a salon but I cannot afford to get a professional keratin treatment done. I was browsing through the keratin services forum on this site and a lot of ladies had success with their keratin treatment done at home.
I got a relaxer when I was 12. I got a texturizer done before that and I was soooo happy! But eventually the honeymoon phase wore off and I still did not like getting my hair done nor did I have high self-esteem despite my straight hair.

I also think people look better with their (well cared for) natural texture. But that's just me and my aesthetic.

You'll still have to put effort into your hair if you chemically straighten it. You'll need regular protein and moisture treatments to minimize damage and keep it healthy, plus touch ups.

Your curls are gorgeous I think you should give them a chance! Since you know know that your hair strands are course they probably just need a lot more moisture than what you've been giving them. Maybe a lot more conditioner with slip when you detangle.

I also would recommend a bkt over a relaxer simply because it's not permanent, but I've heard bkt horror stories too. I actually tried to get one a long time ago and couldn't even stand for the stylist to put the un-activated solution on - it burned my head and her eyes were bloodshot.

So just do your research before you do anything. It's "just hair" that will grow back, but having a chemical treatment go wrong can be devastating.
I agree w/what SpiralSpunk said about making sure your hair has enough moisture! ... And you could be one of those people that either needs a heavier moisturizer for conditioning and or a heavier LI. Some of us have really had to experiment for a while before we struck a balance w/the health and look of our natural hair. It could even just be a matter of finding the ALL the appropriate hair products, which can take patience. And - echoing something else SpiralSpunk said that I agree w/100% - generally hair in its natural state looks best.
3b/c?

Ringlet Fandango! ... Where curly ideas roam free

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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 279
I use Thermal Ionic Straightening or either Japanese straightener both from Sally's and I could not be happier. I have 3b/3c hair naturally and it just doesn't work for me. I can not imagine going out in public with my natural hair not round brushed to loosen those curls in some manner. but using heat every day would destroy every mm of my hair bit by bit . So I just straighten it instead! I have to use their color treated formulas because I take my natural level 1/2 (dark brown) hair to a level 6/7 (honey blonde) And if I wrap my hair at night and care for it very gently it does fine.

PS edited to add. I just don't think my natural 3c curls are pretty or anything worth showing off... Now if they were a 3a then maybe i would have stayed natural.

Last edited by dixygirl; 02-11-2013 at 06:35 AM.

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