Tired of Hair..Should I Relax? (PICS INCLUDED)
 

Hi everyone, I am new to this site but I am grateful I found it! I am a latina girl with unmanagable, thick and frizzy hair. I am not sure what my hair type is (2b maybe?). I have never dyed or relaxed my hair but I do straighten it with a flat iron 4 times a month. I do not have the greatest hair care routine (I wash with head&shoulders and use any cheap conditioner then put a leave-in conditioner).

I saw some youtube videos about the "just for me relaxer" so I bought it. I want to have hair that takes less time to straighten and is not so puffy/frizzy when I air dry. Should I use the relaxer I bought to solve my hair problem?

I have included pics of me after shampooing then conditioning and air drying after.

But you have such beautiful curl potential :( I can see it!

Relaxing severly damages your hair.

Why not give the Curly Girl method a try? ^^ Many of us reduced our frizz and enhanced our curl amazingly. And it's so healthy for your hair.

I don't have much time to invest in a time consuming hair care routine. I want minimal maintenance and be able to wash and go and not worry about my hair looking like a poodle on rainy/humid days.

If I relax, I am not sure how much damage it will cause to my hair but it will probably be better than flat ironing.

I do like wearing my hair curly on several occasions but most of the time, I like straight hair.

No, relaxing is far more damaging than heat.

Relaxing breaks the hair bonds and the damage can never be repaired.

Hey if you want to relax you can relax. Sounds like you already made your mind up so maybe you asked because you were wondering if it was okay to do it at home. I don't care what the gals on youtube say, I would not try it. My aunt relaxed her hair at home and it all fell out. Not kidding. My friend did it and it turned her hair into a frizzy mess of sticks. She wound up having to cut it short for it to be presentable. I'd rather go get it done in a salon even though it's more expensive. Just be aware that it's permanent. And you'll have to maintain it because the curly time clock is always a-ticking. But you're right it'd give you a head start and you could always flat iron the roots. So no biggie. Hair grows back. A year-two years depending on the person. I'd say try it if you're curious but read up and be aware of the pros and cons. I second aqua_lily's point. You are breaking the bonds of your hair and damaging it, even though it may look nice afterwards. I was this close to relaxing my hair a year ago because I was sick of the time spent straightening it, but my friend who is a doctor and whose family owns a salon advised me not to. She showed me pictures of her mother who used to have her hair relaxed (in a salon) and how after this one treatment she lost so much hair. Hers never grew back. That scared me straight. I mean curly. Not saying that would ever happen to you because plenty women relax their hair without that happening. But there's always the what if.

As for your hair right now, girl, my hair looks just like yours. I mean exactly when I brush it out. It is a frizzy poofy bush and then some. But I also see your curl potential. As for the CG method, I never spend more than 10 minutes a day on my hair. Ever. I promise. I also exercise regularly and for me wearing my hair curly is easier because I'm not having to constantly restraighten it. Double promise, pinky swear. Also the products I'm using are relatively inexpensive and mostly drugstore. Being curly does not mean high maintenance. If anything it's the opposite.

You do what you gotta do! But I'd rather go to a professional and have a straightening consultation than chance it at home. It's just too scary knowing what I know and seeing what I've seen.

+1 i think once you try the cg method it eventually will make maintenance easier but you have to put in the time to see those results. I find it works best for people above 4 hair type



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I just really want to see how my relaxed hair turns out. I am going to do a test strand and leave it on for only 5 min since I do not want to overprocess my hair. It might turn out ok, but I will never know if I don't try.

If I like how it turns out then I will get it done professionaly.

I am not sure what the CG method is? Can someone please explain it to me? Also, I am still unsure about my hairtype! HELP!

Thank you for your responses everyone! It's all good advice!

It's also very damaging to the scalp. CG doesn't have to be any more time consuming than your regular routine, for me it's MUCH faster than doing what I used to do, which was flat ironing also.

If you're just curious, I say don't do it. I say that because I've had many urges I do things like that with color, have regretted it, and had to bleach back. Damage sucks. What's worse is that a relaxer is permanent, and there's no going back except for growing it out. I strongly urge you try CG, give it a chance before deciding I relax. If you google the CG method there is a lt of helpful information out there about it. Once you get the hang of it and understand how it works you don't need to follow it to a t, but it should help a lot.

Honey, it's so easy. You only need to know the basics to start off with. However, after a while you might start hanging out at the boards like I am because I feel like I learn something new everyday. It's really fun! But if you're a wash and go sort of person like I am, this is a good starting point.

Go to this guide:

Dorm Room Curly: All in One Guide for the Curly Girl Method

and this one:

How to Follow the Curly Girl Method for Curly Hair: 15 steps

Check out this site which is the absolute BEST to determine your hair's properties:

Live Curly Live Free - Home

That is where you'll learn or at least be able to guesstimate whether your hair is fine or medium or coarse, porous or not, and how strong you elasticity is. Since you've been flat ironing for a while, that may have altered some of your hair's properties and made it more porous or less elastic. You'll see what I mean when you read.

Live Curly Live Free - Curly Hair Basics

Go check out hair routines. I do something sort of similar to this:

Curly Hair Styling Routine 2012 - YouTube

only it's shorter because I use just leave in and styling gel. I also don't plop mostly because my hair, even though it's long and thick, dries quickly. I just scrunch out excess moisture with a microfiber towel. Also, if you are still using a terrycloth towel switch to using an old t-shirt (you don't need to buy a microfiber towel since I use my t-shirt just as often) to dry your hair immediately! That will really help decrease frizz.

ex of plopping I threw in:

Plopping Revisited (Long Sleeved T-shirt Method) - YouTube

If you like, you can go read The Curly Girl Handbook by Lorraine Massey which is how I got started. Quick read. Read it in an hour I think. But most of the information in that book you can get online.

Yeah I know I keep throwing waterlily716 at you but she's one of the first things that comes up when you google the curly girl method and since your hair look similar to mine if I brush it out and my hair looks similar to hers when I style it I figured I'd save you the trouble.

Curly Girl basics playlist:

Curly Hair Basics - YouTube


For me, I had more fun these past 2 months discovering my natural hair texture was not bushy and frizzy but pretty and shiny than I've ever had styling it straight. And I look great with straight hair since my hair is thick and looks so even when straightened. I got lots of compliments. But for some reason, the compliments I'm getting now that I'm curly mean so much more. Because it's actually me they're complimenting. It's like if someone were to compliment you on your green eyes if you knew you were wearing colored contacts. Wouldn't feel as good, you know?

...

I'm reading the other people's responses and I hope you don't think we're collectively shooting down relaxing altogether. It's just that this is a forum at a site called naturally curly so it's safe to assume that the majority of us have been in your shoes before in which we had undefined frizzy hair that we flat ironed and blew out regularly. And then we eventually found success in managing our hair. I didn't give up sulfates until five years ago. I didn't give up silicones until five minutes ago. But my hair is adapting very fast even though I used to style it the way you did. I love my natural hair now, which like I said, means more to me than loving my staightened hair. Nevertheless, I guess you'll never know until you try. (That goes for CG too!) And chemical treatments are something everybody dabbles in at some point or another. Some regret it, some don't. Hair should (if it isn't botched!) grow back. It's only as big a deal as you make it out to be. I know people who have relaxed all their lives. Started when they were three or four! But then their hair fairly short and prone to breakage. So that is why I'd rather pay more, have a good consultation, and go with a reputed professional who has excellent reviews. That is all I'm saying. You do whatever you like because it's your hair. I don't want to come off as over zealous. I just get really excited about hair nowadays. I know it's silly, but I'd really like for everyone else to be excited about their natural hair too.

I wouldn't do it. You hair is already so straight. I would get a good heat protectant and flat iron and just flat iron it every few days.

I would strongly suggest you try the CG method and avoid the flat iron and relaxers. The above links are a great start! I had a professional relaxer done years ago, my normally strong hair was left weak and brittle -and it didn't even work that well. Your hair looks similar to mine if I brush it out when dry.

Girl don't do it! I relaxed my 3A hair once. It was a terrible mistake and took me years to grow it out. Give CG a change like other ladies have suggested. Just eliminating sulfates has been enough for some people (like my mom). I use ALL drug store products, and I love my hair and how healthy it is.

It sounds like you are pretty set on using the relaxer but like most posters I wouldn't do it. Relaxers causes damage and since your hair seems to be a bit dry and frizzy you may already have some damage from the heat so why damage it further? If you get the relaxer and it damages your hair in the end you will be left with worse hair than before and it will take longer to restore your hair when you do decide that you want your hair to live up to its full potential.
It is possible for you to have shiny, healthy, soft curls but you need to follow some of the advice on here and start taking steps to have better hair. If I wanted my hair to look better I wouldn't be looking for a relaxer I would be looking for a healthy solution.

If you want to relax, then relax. No biggie. Go for it!

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I'm replying "No" from experience. I got tired of my curly hair. I wanted something different. I also made a big mistake. ONE PERSON told me I looked younger and my hair looked nicer when it was straight. I took one compliment and one moment of weakness to go from occasionally flat ironing to going all the way and doing a relaxer. Now, I will admit I did an at home relaxer. The results were fine. Not spectacular just fine. Did it allow me to stop flat ironing my hair? No! It maybe made it a bit easier but I did not achieve super sleek hair by any means. Let's face it, when your hair is damaged, you can't expect to do more damage, and the results to be good.

Still, I didn't regret doing it. Not right away. I enjoyed getting up in the morning and having straight hair. I ran my fingers through the strands and didn't have to deal with knots and tangles. Every morning though I had to flat iron to touch up. Stylists assured me that one solid flat ironing session would be enough to seal the hair...wrong! So here I am every day STILL flat ironing my hair after having a relaxer. After doing this for a few months I noticed that even when I got a haircut within 2 weeks my ends were fragile looking and dry. I started applying all kinds of products to the ends trying to minimize the damage. Eventually I didn't even care about the damage I just wanted my hair to look nice again!

About 6 mths ago I went to get my haircut and the girl who did my hair had long straight hair. The back was really kind of flyaway though and honestly didn't look so good (like she went for beachy and missed the mark completely...sorry I know that sounds rude) Anyway it was just so dry and lifeless and when we started discussing hair straightening she mentioned how frequently she ironed her hair. Everyday. Sometimes a few times a day for touch ups. I began to wonder if she even realized in her quest for straightness how bad it was actually looking??? Again, I'm not trying to be rude honestly! This was just the moment that I realized maybe I looked the same! I could see my ends for sure, maybe the back was a wreck too and I wouldn't even know! She cut my hair, did a flat iron, and it looked fine coming out of the salon. The current damage had been cut off, but it was the same boring look.

I never looked back from there. I went home, washed my hair, and let it air dry. The next day for work I worked with it a little trying to encourage the curl. I wasn't very successful but even so I had several people approach me and gush over my hair! Even on my worst day they were complimenting me on how nice it looked! From there I've been babying my hair back to life.

It's been a struggle. The damage from the relaxer is still there. I went from a strong curl pattern to a loose wave. My hair also doesn't respond to products as well as it used to. It's a process but I'm loving my curls again.

I think the whole point of my long post is just to say....don't make a permanent decision on a temporary whim.

Also wanted to add, since you already have a loose curl pattern, if you are really set on making it straighter/smoother, consider a BKT. Much less (if any) damage, and not permanent.

If I were to relax my hair, I would not do it bone straight so I guess it won't be so damaging. Also, I will only straighten my hair about 4 times a month. The rest of the time, I will wash it, put some products and let it air dry.

To me, that sounds less damaging than straightening my hair everyday. But maybe I am wrong. Please let me know what you think.

Again, thank you all for your responses. This site is awesome. So happy I found it!!!

From experience, don't relax it!

I went from very thick hair to very thin hair in one shot, it took years to recover. And it took years with me not relaxing it.

I think you could easily wear it wavy, you just have to do it right. The CG method is a good place to start, a lot of people gave good info on it.

If you REALLY want it straight, I'd invest in a good heat protectant first. Then a shower cap so you only have to do it once every few days.

Also relaxing isn't just bad for hair, which is dead anyway so who really cares, it's also bad for you scalp. Relaxer is one of the harshest chemicals we accept as normal to put anywhere near our bodies.