||02-21-2013 11:32 PM
My story: I've been using my hair as a security blanket.. (Venting session)
I need to vent, so for those of you who want to listen, here it is:
I HAVE BEEN USING MY HAIR AS A SECURITY BLANKET.
I am a biracial girl who was blessed with a head full of thick, dense 3c curls. But I didnt always see it that way. I have the tightest texture in my family. My mothers hair is a 2A, & my 2 sisters a 2c. For as long as I can remember, my hair was the tedious time consuming hair to do. My mother broke countless combs on my head trying to detangle. It wasnt her fault, she had no idea how to care for hair like mine. I felt my hair was ugly, & hated it.
Although, the one thing I kept in common with my mom & sister? Length. Waist length. So for as long as I had this ugly hair, I felt that atleast it was long. When I was about 10, me & my mom decided to relax my hair. I finally could care for it myself! I stayed relaxed years, until about 14/15. I started to research how to rid myself of a perm after i heard what it does to hair. All I found was big chopping! Oh no. I wouldnt giveup my length, the only beauty I had. I decided that day I'd be relaxed for life. A few months later, I learned about transitioning & begun my 2 year journey.
I washed & flat ironed once a month, and as needed. After I finished my transition, I still abused my hair more & more with heat. My natural hair was still the devil. In august of last year, I came across a youtube video by user DeenerDaonise about her 1year without heat journey.. I thought she was absolutely nuts & swore that could never be me. Lster that same day, I decided to take on that challenge.
Here I am, almost 7mo later, 19 years old, & I love my hair. I'm still trying to figure it out, & it can be frustrating, but I think I am blessed with a head FULL of gorgeous hair. I still carry with me a little insecurity about it, when someone whose opinion matters makes a less than desirable comment, but I still love it. I feel like I've beat a lot of insecurity, but besides what I mentioned, I still feel the need for long hair.
To beat it, & make my broken damaged & frail hair healthier, I'm considering a really short cut. Like, 3 inches when curly (50% shrinkage) but I'm not ready. With that hairstyle will come more of the comments. I'm not ready now, but sometime within the next year, I'M GOING FOR IT. Im going super short & Im gonna learn to love it, just like I learned to love the curls themselves.
For anyone who needs to hear it, your hair is beautiful. & it shouldnt be a security blanket.