My story: I've been using my hair as a security blanket.. (Venting session)

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  • 5 Post By NewlyNaptural
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I need to vent, so for those of you who want to listen, here it is:
I HAVE BEEN USING MY HAIR AS A SECURITY BLANKET.
I am a biracial girl who was blessed with a head full of thick, dense 3c curls. But I didnt always see it that way. I have the tightest texture in my family. My mothers hair is a 2A, & my 2 sisters a 2c. For as long as I can remember, my hair was the tedious time consuming hair to do. My mother broke countless combs on my head trying to detangle. It wasnt her fault, she had no idea how to care for hair like mine. I felt my hair was ugly, & hated it.

Although, the one thing I kept in common with my mom & sister? Length. Waist length. So for as long as I had this ugly hair, I felt that atleast it was long. When I was about 10, me & my mom decided to relax my hair. I finally could care for it myself! I stayed relaxed years, until about 14/15. I started to research how to rid myself of a perm after i heard what it does to hair. All I found was big chopping! Oh no. I wouldnt giveup my length, the only beauty I had. I decided that day I'd be relaxed for life. A few months later, I learned about transitioning & begun my 2 year journey.

I washed & flat ironed once a month, and as needed. After I finished my transition, I still abused my hair more & more with heat. My natural hair was still the devil. In august of last year, I came across a youtube video by user DeenerDaonise about her 1year without heat journey.. I thought she was absolutely nuts & swore that could never be me. Lster that same day, I decided to take on that challenge.

Here I am, almost 7mo later, 19 years old, & I love my hair. I'm still trying to figure it out, & it can be frustrating, but I think I am blessed with a head FULL of gorgeous hair. I still carry with me a little insecurity about it, when someone whose opinion matters makes a less than desirable comment, but I still love it. I feel like I've beat a lot of insecurity, but besides what I mentioned, I still feel the need for long hair.

To beat it, & make my broken damaged & frail hair healthier, I'm considering a really short cut. Like, 3 inches when curly (50% shrinkage) but I'm not ready. With that hairstyle will come more of the comments. I'm not ready now, but sometime within the next year, I'M GOING FOR IT. Im going super short & Im gonna learn to love it, just like I learned to love the curls themselves.

For anyone who needs to hear it, your hair is beautiful. & it shouldnt be a security blanket.

Last edited by NewlyNaptural; 02-22-2013 at 09:20 PM. Reason: Btw: I am Muslim, & I cover my gorgeous curls with a scarf (:
That was a great story. I'm glad I read it. So happy for you that you're going for natural hair, that you've embraced your natural self!
NewlyNaptural and Stephaniie like this.

At hip length, going for mid-thigh!
3A/2C M iii med porosity, high elasticity

HGs:
Clarify: Nivea IR
Lo-poo: Nature's Gate CR
CW: Elvive Volume Collagen
RO: TBS Rainforest Moisture, etc

LI: Elvive volume collagen, KCKT
Seal: Grapeseed oil
Gel: Studioline

PT: EO Keratin co
DT: RO+oils
Hairgrowth stim.: JBCO+EVCO


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That was a great story. I'm glad I read it. So happy for you that you're going for natural hair, that you've embraced your natural self!
Originally Posted by Aqua_Lily
Thanks so much (:
I really enjoyed reading this, very inspirational! I love that you are celebrating your natural curls, even if that still involves taking a step outside your comfort zone.
NewlyNaptural likes this.
2b/c, high density
fine, medium porosity, normal elasticity
loves protein, hates polyquats
still searching for HGs
Very inspiring. Reading stuff like this makes me forever grateful I did not relax my hair a year ago when I wanted to. I'm so happy with it now and to think for years I never really gave it a chance to just "be", you know?
NewlyNaptural likes this.
3A - C, HP, ME, HD. (Coarse, High Porosity, Medium Elasticity, High Density.)

CG since Nov. 2012

Poos: SM Moisture Retention + Yucca Baobab, TJ's Tea Tree Tingle
Condish: TJ 'sTea Tree Tingle*, SM Moisture Retention* + Curl & Shine + Yucca Baobab, Yes to Blueberries
Stylers: KCKT*, SM Curl Enhancing Smoothie* + Curl & Style Milk*, KCCC*, FSG*, CJ Pattern Pusha, Curl Keeper
Sealers: Jojoba* or Grapeseed* oil

* = HG

Wow. I think a lot of people, young girls especially, need to hear this. Hopefully this can reach those who need to hear that being natural is okayy. I hope it happens before they decide to relax, or they're scared to go natural because of what people say. I admire you for your appreciation of natural hair, & how young you are? Wow. Just wow.
NewlyNaptural likes this.
I'm glad you're loving your hair. It's a great feeling not to have to tie your beauty to the length of your hair!

I relate to you. I was using my WL hair as a security blanket too until about 3 years ago. I tried to transition but was forced to BC (long story). It was a shock but I was glad to be relaxer-free. Short hair was a nice change because it was so easy to manage and I miss it sometimes.

Kudos for sharing your story. Keep overcoming those insecurities and working towards being the best you you can be. Best of luck
NewlyNaptural likes this.
last relaxer: june 2010. bc: october 2010.
properties: mix of 3 & 4, high density!!, medium-coarse, protein sensitive, low-normal porosity, cottony, daughter S
hair likes: garnier pure clean conditioner, v05, water & olive oil...that's literally it. so far...
four fat braids every night; moisturize or spray w/ water, seal w/ EVOO every other night.



Thats awesome (: thanks guys.
So glad to read this! You might find that the idea of the shorter cut progresses in the back of your mind without even directly thinking about it, now you've opened yourself to the idea, and one day you'll just suddenly realise you're ready. Or you might need to take more of a plunge. But either way, I really think you will love it - it will feel so healthy and it will all be worth it.
NewlyNaptural likes this.
UK based wavy

Mostly waves, but curls and straight bits too!
Fine to medium, high porosity, medium density, very low elasticity
Highlights damage (growing it out), seems to like protein and need lots of moisture.

Cleanse - CJDF, trying out low poos ; Co wash- Uk chemist brands, Urtekram Rose or Aloe, Hairveda Amala Cream Rinse; RO - varies, Tigi Moisture Maniac, Desert Essence Coconut ; Leave in - Keracare natural textures; Sealant - argan oil
Trying out new things, still looking.
I love short hair. If you do chop, please update us because it's fun to read haircut stories.
3A - C, HP, ME, HD. (Coarse, High Porosity, Medium Elasticity, High Density.)

CG since Nov. 2012

Poos: SM Moisture Retention + Yucca Baobab, TJ's Tea Tree Tingle
Condish: TJ 'sTea Tree Tingle*, SM Moisture Retention* + Curl & Shine + Yucca Baobab, Yes to Blueberries
Stylers: KCKT*, SM Curl Enhancing Smoothie* + Curl & Style Milk*, KCCC*, FSG*, CJ Pattern Pusha, Curl Keeper
Sealers: Jojoba* or Grapeseed* oil

* = HG

I will update you guys if I do cut it (: well, when I cut it

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