My hair is impossible! Help me?

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  • 1 Post By chloe92us
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  • 1 Post By PomegranateCurl
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I'm having the WORST trouble with my hair honestly.
I've wanted to give up alot, and I can't find ANYONE with anything similar.
I mean it's not awful, but it's crazy frustrating.
It's also really frustrating because no matter who it is or on what site, no one seems to understand my hair. Even in person. When I try to explain it to them, they disregard it, adn tell me to do something i've tried lots of times already.. I've tried a lot of experimenting with my hair...lot's of things don't work on my hair. It's stubborn.


  • I do not have racial hair. (I'm white.)
  • My hair is thick. (But can appear normal)
  • I do have layers. I have a professional hairstylist who knows what she's doing. My hair reaches my shoulders. It's shorter in the back and comes down at and angle.
  • I do have side bangs but they REFUSE to be styled and reach a little past my eyes. I bobby pin them back normally.
  • Heres the kicker, my hair tends to appear weird in pictures, sometimes uneven on the sides when side parted? I don't understand this. and I hate it. It ruins my pictures in my opinion.
  • I cannot lay on my hair without the curls getting flat.
  • I have different results when combing my hair like a normal person, and putting my head down and combing it out to the floor. It looks better when I comb it to the floor, but if combed out normally it gets frizzy during the drying process without me touching it.
  • My hair has to be pretty wet when i scrunch it for it to turn out right. So what I mean is if I let it dry for a bit it will turn out bad.
  • I CANNOT sleep on my hair when it's wet. at. all. It doesn't curl right, and tends to be frizzy and gross and semi curly with waves, or not even..my curls become flat. I can't even put it into a bun after i scrunch it. It just ruins the curls and straightens them out.
  • My hair doesn't curl at the roots.
  • I have no interest in using heat on my hair.
  • Note: i have both waves and curls.
  • I cannot apply creme/mousse product on dry hair without it making the situation worse.
  • I use noodle head by beyond the zone.
  • No matter how i diffuse my hair, it turns out frizzy.
  • I'm growing out my hair.

I don't really have a good selfie of me with curly hair, because of how uncomfortable i can be with it in that state in pictures. I apologize for that.
I guess I really need help with what I should do with my hair. I've tried a lot. Even plopping, and no pooing and those things don't work. My hair type is the inbetweener of a 2b and 2c.
I'm also 16, and still working on getting my drivers license, so I can't exactly just go out and buy product, and to be honest, my parents wouldnt go out and buy expensive product. Some tips would be really nice on how to deal with my hair. Anything. I've been waiting for something for ages. I'm sick of having to get up at 5 a.m. to take a shower in the morning, no matter how much I like to shower. I'd rather take one at night.
plus I really want to find a way to make my hair more voluminous..
(i'd also really like to find a way to keep my curl over night.)
Thanks!

Last edited by catspajamas; 04-09-2013 at 07:37 PM.
Everything you stated is true for pretty much anyone with curly hair, lol. Sounds like you need some help with technique. I'm going to find the technique link and post it to help you.

TECHNIQUES LINKS: SuperSoaker,Spritz&Condish,Plopping,Frizz,Clipping IceQueen, etc

For overnight, try putting your hair in a pineapple (ponytail on the very top of your head with a fabric wrapped elastic, I.e. "scrunchie"); it seems to work for lots of people. Or sleep in a satin bonnet, or wrap your hair in a silky skarf.

For frizz, technique and some product will help, but frizz is going to happen, unfortunately. Right out of the shower, put your product in while your hair is soaking wet. Then scrunch it all in, then let it dry and don't touch it until its completely dry! To stop the drips, gently scrunch or blot your hair with a tee shirt, not a regular towel. You can blot before or right after you put your product in.

Good luck!
rainboe likes this.
2C/ Coarse/ Normal porosity/ SW Florida/ Salt & Pepper
Cleanse: CJ Daily Fix, JC Cleansing Cream, TJ Tea Tree Condish
Condish: JC Too Shea, CJ Curl Rehab (both as RO & LI)
Stylers: UFD CM, CJ PP, JC Spiralicious, Darcy's Cream Gel & Cocoa bean whip

Last edited by chloe92us; 04-09-2013 at 06:37 PM.
I'm sorry. Like I said, buns, ect. don't work. I have too short hair to do that now, but when I had longer hair it didn't work. It just destroyed my curls. I'm too much of a restless sleeper to wear a bonnet too. they come off in the middle of the night.
It doesn't seem like every curly haired person goes through this though. All throughout summer I spend time trying new things, and nothing works. I have some serious stubborn hair.
I know frizz will happen, but this is a whole new kind of frizz. Not the normal kind you see in curly hair. It's very gross looking.
Those techniques, i've tried most. Like rake and shake, no pooing, ect. The don't work. They actually make my hair loose the curl and become flat and not as curly.
Thanks though!

Last edited by catspajamas; 04-09-2013 at 06:45 PM.
A bun is not the same as pineappling. If I put my hair in a bun, I end up with waves with a little curl on the ends. If summer is when your frizz is most severe, it's the weather. Just look at all the recent posts about frizz in the past week.....summer is on the way and humidity + curls = frizz.
2C/ Coarse/ Normal porosity/ SW Florida/ Salt & Pepper
Cleanse: CJ Daily Fix, JC Cleansing Cream, TJ Tea Tree Condish
Condish: JC Too Shea, CJ Curl Rehab (both as RO & LI)
Stylers: UFD CM, CJ PP, JC Spiralicious, Darcy's Cream Gel & Cocoa bean whip
Yeah, i know they aren't. But I've also tried pineappling when i was able to do it when my hair was long enough, and doesn't work for me. It doesn't keep my curls at all. it flattens them as well and I wake up with practically nothing but a mess that product couldn't even save.

No...like I said though, this is a different kind of frizz, which also involves my curls/waves even flatter than normal, especially on the scalp and becoming really gross and my hair..well..looking gross. It is also 49 degrees here. The weather doesn't contribute to this kind of frizz. (even in the summer my curls/waves don't get as frizzy.)
This frizz has to do with when I comb out my hair when it's wet, and I put my head down to comb it out twords the ground. I know it sounds silly, but if I don't do that and I comb it out sitting up straight, it turns out wrong. I just put that in my list to list another weird attribute of my hair. I'm well aware frizz is normal, just this is odd.
My hair is just really hard to explain, i apologize. it has a mind of it's own.
I agree, most of what you said applies to everyone with loosely curled hair. My hair is wavy, and it starts curling around where the top of my ears are. It seems like you don't have a routine and products down right now. Could you write out what your hair routine and products are? With the right combination of those things, it should work out. You probably aren't going to find one thing that works; it's going to be a combination.

Heres the kicker, my hair tends to appear weird in pictures, sometimes uneven on the sides when side parted? I don't understand this. and I hate it. It ruins my pictures in my opinion.
My hair is kind of uneven too. Like, one side has a bit more curl than the other. I think it's a combination of just one side of my head being slightly more curled than the other, and my sideparting which gives one side more layers and thicker hair than the other. I think it looks ok though. Other people probably aren't as concerned about this as you.

I cannot lay on my hair without the curls getting flat.
I can't either. I put my hair in a pineapple on some nights to fix it up, and when I don't do that I just live with the weirdness or scrunch in water to try to even it out a bit. Most curly people don't have hair that can just rebound back from being slept on or put up in a ponytail/bun. This is totally normal. It's like how brushing curly hair can ruin the curl pattern.

I have different results when combing my hair like a normal person, and putting my head down and combing it out to the floor. It looks better when I comb it to the floor, but if combed out normally it gets frizzy during the drying process without me touching it.
I don't comb my hair. I finger detangle in the shower when it has conditioner in it.

My hair has to be pretty wet when i scrunch it for it to turn out right. So what I mean is if I let it dry for a bit it will turn out bad.
Yeah, mine causes me frizz if I wait to put products in. This is also totally normal, and a great number of curlies put product in fresh out of the shower hair. The Curly Girl book recommends you use products on dripping wet hair.

I CANNOT sleep on my hair when it's wet. at. all. It doesn't curl right, and tends to be frizzy and gross and semi curly with waves, or not even..my curls become flat. I can't even put it into a bun after i scrunch it. It just ruins the curls and straightens them out.
Me neither. It ruins it. I wouldn't expect to be able to, because it wouldn't have time to form. Putting it in a bun also ruins the curl pattern. This is normal.

My hair doesn't curl at the roots.
Mine neither. I think it might have to do with how your head arches at the top, so loose curls can kind of flatten out. Anyway, mine doesn't curl until around the top on my ears. If you pay attention, that's a common wavy problem. When people style their hair wavy though, they usually go for a straight on top look. I think it looks ok.

I cannot apply creme/mousse product on dry hair without it making the situation worse.
Me neither. It either gets greasy or sticky or hard or weird. Mousses aren't suppose to be applied dry, and cremes can be heavy. I've found that scrunch or spraying in water is the best thing I can do. It causes frizz sometimes, but it's livable.

I use noodle head by beyond the zone.
I've heard of this. It seems popular.

No matter how i diffuse my hair, it turns out frizzy.
Which ways have you tried diffusing it?

Also, I have side bangs. What works for me is positioning them when their wet, then moving them back over when they're dry. I finger comb them so they don't look clumpy or separated. Having multiple hair textures is normal, it's more important to know your hair properties. I'm not trying to make you feel like your problems aren't serious or personal, I just don't want you to discount the advice on this website because you feel like you hair is specially bad. It isn't, you have a lot in common with us. Come join the Curly Hair Friends.
catspajamas, chloe92us and lenie like this.
Fine Texture, Normal Porosity, Normal Elasticity. Dyed to brown a few months ago.
Lowpoo:
Trader Joe's TTT Shampoo
Rinse Out:
Yes to Carrots, AOHR, Aubrey Organics Rosemary Peppermint
LI: Yes to Carrots
Stylers: Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie, LA Looks Sports, Suave Professionals Captivating Curls Whipped Mousse

Last edited by rainboe; 04-09-2013 at 07:47 PM.
Yeah, i know they aren't. But I've also tried pineappling when i was able to do it when my hair was long enough, and doesn't work for me. It doesn't keep my curls at all. it flattens them as well and I wake up with practically nothing but a mess that product couldn't even save.

No...like I said though, this is a different kind of frizz, which also involves my curls/waves even flatter than normal, especially on the scalp and becoming really gross and my hair..well..looking gross. It is also 49 degrees here. The weather doesn't contribute to this kind of frizz. (even in the summer my curls/waves don't get as frizzy.)
This frizz has to do with when I comb out my hair when it's wet, and I put my head down to comb it out twords the ground. I know it sounds silly, but if I don't do that and I comb it out sitting up straight, it turns out wrong. I just put that in my list to list another weird attribute of my hair. I'm well aware frizz is normal, just this is odd.
My hair is just really hard to explain, i apologize. it has a mind of it's own.
Originally Posted by catspajamas
Have you tried not combing your hair when you get out of the shower? That makes my hair flat and frizzy looking. I can't use a comb, because it makes my hair weird. I can only finger detangle while it's soaking wet in the shower with conditioner in it. Before I do my final rinse. Then I rake in product when I'm out and it's soaking wet, then I scrunch in hair gel.
Fine Texture, Normal Porosity, Normal Elasticity. Dyed to brown a few months ago.
Lowpoo:
Trader Joe's TTT Shampoo
Rinse Out:
Yes to Carrots, AOHR, Aubrey Organics Rosemary Peppermint
LI: Yes to Carrots
Stylers: Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie, LA Looks Sports, Suave Professionals Captivating Curls Whipped Mousse

Last edited by rainboe; 04-09-2013 at 07:51 PM.
My routine is pretty simple seeing how I have to wake up pretty early for school and I have a short amount of time to do things. I use T-gel shampoo by Neutrogena, because my scalp can get pretty greasy on it's own. It's kind of a hereditary thing. You leave it in for a few minutes and wash it out. I found that the no-poo option wasn't going to work for me during the summer when my hair got disgusting after 2 weeks and was itchy. Then I just condition it with quite a bit of conditioner which i forget the brand name all the time, but we get salon size bottles. Hey, it works. My parents arent big into spending a fortune on stuff like that but it works.
I sometimes comb out my hair in the shower lightly. and then right away I get dress and flip my hair over and brush it out and put in my hair product, scrunch, and then grab a cotton t-shirt and kind of scrunch it with that to help it dry. I flip my hair back up, fix a few strands of hair, and pin back my bangs because they do what they want no matter what.

I might just have to try my fingers only. I can see that that might be causing the problem.

Ah, ok that makes sense then. Ok, for whatever reason I always thought that everyone could just sleep on their curls or lay down on them and it would stay the same for the most part.

Oh trust me I understand my hair isn't bad, and that everyone struggles with their hair. I've just been going through so much stress with it though. (Especially because I take a zero hour in the mornings, so I have to get to class an hour earlier than most, meaning waking up at 5 and i'm just too tired to do anything lol.).
I'm most certainly not discounting the advice either. I just mean it when I say, I've tried a lot. Especially because I ask so many questions on yahoo answers, and have tried so many things that loosing hope has become kind of a reality haha.
I'm trying my best to make it sound like i'm not angry or upset with anyone advice. (Emotions over the internet are hard to show.)
So thank you! I think ill try that then.

Last edited by catspajamas; 04-09-2013 at 08:12 PM.
Sorry, I was assuming you had tried the CG method...I ditched all my old products and started using no silicones/sulfates and it made ALL the difference in my hair.

Since you are so fed up with your hair, it's worth a shot. Are you in the US? Getting started isn't hard, and all the products can be purchased Cheaply at drugstores.

You will need a new (sulfate free) shampoo, and probably a new cone-free condish and gel.
2C/ Coarse/ Normal porosity/ SW Florida/ Salt & Pepper
Cleanse: CJ Daily Fix, JC Cleansing Cream, TJ Tea Tree Condish
Condish: JC Too Shea, CJ Curl Rehab (both as RO & LI)
Stylers: UFD CM, CJ PP, JC Spiralicious, Darcy's Cream Gel & Cocoa bean whip
I'm new and going to the same frustrating things as you do...
As most of the curlies, I cannot sleep on my hair unless it's in a pineapple (but I do get nice results with pineappling)

The things that already made a big difference for me:
- CG: no sulfates, no cones
- only combing my hair while I'm in the shower, and when afterwards I still get water on my hair: doing it after I get out of the shower, even if it's right after that, will definetely ruin my curls and give me frizz
- plopping (have you tried that?)
- not just diffusing, but pixie diffusing (which gives me way less frizz than just diffusing), have you tried that?
What you really need to do is figure out your hair's properties, such as porosity, texture (width), and density. A really good place to start is here: Live Curly Live Free - Curly Hair Basics

Without these specific properties, it's really hard to figure out how you should be treating your hair. You say your hair frizzes and loses its curl pattern easily. Depending on your properties, you could need more moisture or more protein (or both!).

I agree that cutting out sulfates and silicones can make a world of difference. You said you tried no-poo, and that your hair was greasy and scalp itchy. If I were you, I would give it another shot, but make sure that you avoid all ingredients that can cause buildup. It also often takes a few weeks for your scalp to catch up and stop producing sebum at an accelerated rate, leaving your scalp greasy for a few weeks.

Or if you want a middle ground, try a mixture of low pooing and no pooing (this is what I do!). Low poos are gentler than sulfate shampoos, but stronger than no poos or washing with conditioners. A good drugstore option is the Shea Moisture line. I low poo every two to three days.

Honestly, I thought my hair was the same as yours for a long time -- just unruly and annoying. A lot of girls with curly and wavy hair think the same. But once you figure out how to treat your hair, it can really help. And also, remember, results don't happen overnight! I'm in my fifth month of experimenting with CG/curly hair products, and my hair is still getting better and better.
Geek_Chic likes this.
2b/c, high density
fine, medium porosity, normal elasticity
loves protein, hates polyquats
still searching for HGs
Your shampoo might be drying out your hair. if you need a strong shampoo like that, I would make sure that you at least focus it on your roots. dont pile your hair on your head or scrub it into the length of your hair. it might be worth trying a sulfate free shampoo or shampooing less often (like every few day or weekly. still condition whenever you shower.

I think conditioner is often the most important product you put in your hair. It needs to be moisturizing, and a lot of conditioners don't have enough moisture for typically dry hair. So, I would maybe look up reviews on the conditioner you use now and maybe look into getting a better one. Dry, unmoisturized hair will frizz no matter what stylers you use. Also, you can use normal conditioner as your leave in conditioner. Just put a bit in right after the shower so your hair feels slick. Leave in conditioner reduces frizz.

I put product in right out of the shower before getting dressed. At leave try putting you leave in into your hair before getting dressed, to prevent frizz. You should also look into plopping. I put leave in and cream into my hair right out of the shower, then I scrunch with my hands and a t-shirt, then I plop into the t-shirt for a couple minutes while I get dressed. Then I scrunch in a bit of gel.

Also, this is what we mean by pineappling: http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/hairstyles/how-to-pineapple-your-hair#.UWWFZknMcE8.mailto

Only, I use a normal hair tie because I've found that scrunchies are too wide so they pull my curl out. It straightens the back of my hair some, but it keeps the sides and front looking fines so I don't mind too much. Like I said, refreshing with water and maybe a bit of conditioner smoothed over frizz also help some for me. I really hope we can help you come up with a routine that works for you.
Fine Texture, Normal Porosity, Normal Elasticity. Dyed to brown a few months ago.
Lowpoo:
Trader Joe's TTT Shampoo
Rinse Out:
Yes to Carrots, AOHR, Aubrey Organics Rosemary Peppermint
LI: Yes to Carrots
Stylers: Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie, LA Looks Sports, Suave Professionals Captivating Curls Whipped Mousse

Last edited by rainboe; 04-10-2013 at 10:35 AM.
I'm sorry, I'm extremely overwhelmed right now by everyone...
This is the part that frustrates me. I get overwhelmed really quickly and freak out inside because I want to answer to everyone.
Trust me when I say I know what pineappling is, It just doesn't work for me. I've tried it.
I've also tried plopping and it's ok.
My hair isn't long enough for a lot of it haha.

I'm honestly not new to this.
I know what the Curly Girl Method is, I just chose not to use this. I kind of only joined this website because I was quite desperate for answers on my hair, but I guess it is how it is. I just was hesistant on using it because everyone is so sure of their choice on using this method..and I don't particularly want to. Nor do I have the money, or like to apply a lot of product to my hair like ive seen in signatures. Plus, the messaging boards are suuper overwhelming.

I do own leave in conditioner. I use it sometimes.

My mothers friend does my hair and is professional hairstylist who knows what she's doing..she has actually shampoo she gets for me that is moisturizing. But right now I have to use this special shampoo for my scalp,
I'm sorry I just can't do no-poo. My hair get's really unhealthy without it. I tried it for a couple weeks and I couldn't stand it. Thank you though. (:
Ok, so I talked to my mother.
I guess a big problem is that me and my mother cannot relate with hair at all.
I have thick hair, she has thin.
I have curls and waves, she has pin straight hair.
I've talked to her about my hair before but she disregarded it.
But just now I talked to her and she agree'd to let me get shampoo, conditioner, and product that's mean for my hair.
Maybe this will change things.
I hope.
I don't want you to get overwhelmed. It's just hair, so whatever you do it isn't the end of the world. I really love trying out hair products and different techniques, so sometimes I can forget that all this lingo and such can be a bit much for some people.

I think knowing specific product names for what you're using could help us help you more. the products you use are important, and without knowing about them we can only give you general suggestions. You don't have to go CG, but it might still be worth it to try a sulfate free shampoo. if you need your current shampoo then that's fine too. I still think it would help to only shampoo your hair every couple days instead of daily, if thats what your doing. Normal conditioner is usually more moisturizing than leave in conditioner, so you can try using it as a leave in to see if that works. Leave ins applied to dropping wet hair can be really helpful.

Also, if you describe your Particular problems, that could help too. Like, is your hair dry or weighed down? What does the frizz look like? How much is there? What do you want from your hair? Is it defined enough for you? Do you like the curls that you get right now? Also, it would help to know the standards you're going for. How much frizz is ok? Do you like hair gel or mousse? What kind? Don't feel like you have to answer all of that, Im just trying to prompt you to think about your hair more specifically.

I know you want second day hair. I included the link about pineappling because I just want to make sure you had done a lose ponytail high enough on your head. I wasn't trying to be condescending. You could also try rewetting and scrunching in water the next day. That doesn't work for everyone.

Btw, I know it looks like I have a lot of stuff in my signature, but on any given day I only use one shampoo, one conditioner, and one or two stylers.

Finally, it's really only work in the beginning. When you get a better sense of what works for your hair and what a good routine is for you, then it can become an automatic process that you don't stress about. It's cool that your working on this now, and I think you can go at the pace you want with trying new things.
Geek_Chic and lucyprimrose like this.
Fine Texture, Normal Porosity, Normal Elasticity. Dyed to brown a few months ago.
Lowpoo:
Trader Joe's TTT Shampoo
Rinse Out:
Yes to Carrots, AOHR, Aubrey Organics Rosemary Peppermint
LI: Yes to Carrots
Stylers: Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie, LA Looks Sports, Suave Professionals Captivating Curls Whipped Mousse

Last edited by rainboe; 04-11-2013 at 12:46 AM.
PomegranateCurl, I'm assuming that "racial hair" means "ethnic hair." Really, though, whether you are African American, Indian, Hispanic, etc. has nothing to do with how your hair behaves. I got the impression that only people with "racial hair" are supposed to have troublesome hair, from the OP's original post. Most likely she didn't mean it that way, but that's the impression I got.
rainboe likes this.
Curly and PROUD!!!

My hair has a mix of low/med/high porosity, and it's medium textured (some are still fine, though!)

CG since Sept. 2011
Cowash: Vo5/Suave Naturals/Tresemme Naturals*
RO/LI: GVPCB*, Tresemme Naturals*
Low-poo: Shea Moisture Moisture Retention
Stylers: KCKT*, Coconut Oil, Olive Oil, Grapeseed Oil, Honey*

* represents my HGs!!! Finally!!!

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