Something seriously wrong with my hair!

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I DON'T WANT TO GO TO A RELAXER FOR HELP AGAIN. But I don't know what else to do. So to start from the beginning, I wore weaves for about 2.5 years to grow it out. Once I was all natural I stopped. But my hair is so dry! I thought it was the weaves but my hair is literally irreversibly DRY. No matter what I do to it it's DRY. It rejects all product, I think even water! This is why I thought my hair was low porosity but when I run my fingers through a strand of hair, there is TONS of resistance! And it feels sort of squeaky, and DRY, and brittle and UGH. I put a strand into a glass of water and once I completely submerged the strand in water (using my finger) it sank. I tried the Aphogee Protein Treatment once, it didnt do anything of course (considering my hair rejects EVERYTHING.) I tried the DIY yogurt deep co, I tried the Egg/Mayo deep co, I tried drugstore/beauty supply deep co, I tried the roux porosity conditioner, i even tried the baking soda treatment and NOTHING WORKED. Why does my hair feels like this It should feel like cotton-so soft and luscious. But it just feels like straw! Even oils don't do a thing. Organic Olive Oil, Castor Oil, Coconut Oil, they dont do anything! I tried shea moisture anti-breakage deep co and curl enhancing smoothie and yet again, NO long term difference. My hair feels like crap and products like shea moisture conceal it for a few seconds and my hair is back to "normal." I deep co with a plastic cap and heat too! And I sleep with a satin bonnet! I've NEVER straightened my hair, so it cant be heat damage. I'm just about all natural (except a TINY bit on the ends) and like 21 months post relaxer. If my hair grew the way it should it should be about 10.5 inches long, but it's only about 6 inches long I'm really trying to grow my hair out, BUT I NEED TO GET IT HEALTHY FIRST. Any tips on how I do that? Thank you!

UPDATE: I have used the As I Am Coconut Cowash and deep conditioned with Coconut Oil and Honey (This was all I had that was moisturizing and not protein). And I sealed with Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smootie (There was still some coconut oil on my hair so I put the smoothie on top of that). My hair STILL had a LOT of resistance and had that plastic/squeaky feeling when I rubbed it! My hair dried really fast (or at least had that DRY feeling really fast) and I forget if that means I have High or Low Porosity. The Cowash detangled my hair but my Bentonite Clay Wash DEFINITELY defines and detangles much more! I'm going to continue with the Cowash once a week to see if anything changes and my moisture problem is solved. I still need a better deep conditioner and Leave-in though. Any more tips? Thank you!

Last edited by NewlyNaturalG; 04-27-2013 at 07:05 PM.
I don't know too much bc I'm still learning myself how to properly take care of my hair but I suffered from extreme dry hair too and I noticed the only things that seemed to help are steam treatments and cowashing. See if you can find a salon and get steam treatments done a few times and see if it helps any. That's what I did before I bought a steamer to do it at home and it made a huge difference. And I use As I Am cowash every 2-3 days and that has helped too.
I don't know too much bc I'm still learning myself how to properly take care of my hair but I suffered from extreme dry hair too and I noticed the only things that seemed to help are steam treatments and cowashing. See if you can find a salon and get steam treatments done a few times and see if it helps any. That's what I did before I bought a steamer to do it at home and it made a huge difference. And I use As I Am cowash every 2-3 days and that has helped too.
Originally Posted by Nessa31787
I use heat on my hair during deep conditioning and that doesn't do a thing so I'm not sure if I'll bother going to a salon for steam treatments. And co-washing I'm considering. I actually might get the coconut co-washing thing. Is that a good product?
What is your daily & weekly routine now?
2C/ Coarse/ Normal porosity/ SW Florida/ Salt & Pepper
Cleanse: CJ Daily Fix, JC Cleansing Cream, TJ Tea Tree Condish
Condish: JC Too Shea, CJ Curl Rehab (both as RO & LI)
Stylers: UFD CM, CJ PP, JC Spiralicious, Darcy's Cream Gel & Cocoa bean whip
What shampoo are you using? You should try using one that doesn't have any sulfates, and/or try conditioner washing your hair. Sulfates strip the hair--some people can use them without much issue, but if I use it, my hair feels brittle and hard and snaps.
dusalocks likes this.
Last Relaxer: July 6th, 2012, approx 1:30pm.
12 months/52.2 weeks/365 days transitioning!






"Right now I'm wearing a 'Darn-I-Went-To-Bed-Without-A-Scarf' and later I'm gonna try a 'Salvage-This-And-Try-To-Look-Presentable.'"
What is your daily & weekly routine now?
Originally Posted by chloe92us
What shampoo are you using? You should try using one that doesn't have any sulfates, and/or try conditioner washing your hair. Sulfates strip the hair--some people can use them without much issue, but if I use it, my hair feels brittle and hard and snaps.
Originally Posted by Oats22
Every two weeks I wash my hair with bentonite clay mixed with apple cider vinegar. Then I deep co using mayo,honey, and olive oil (i don't use egg anymore because it leaves stuff on my hair). then I moisturize with shea moisture curl enhancing smoothie and seal with coconut oil. Of course all of this is done in vein, considering none of it does anything. :/ And the problem is dryness AND just like idk the way my hair "naturally" feels. It feels like PLASTIC.
Have you tried the curly girl method? I'm not fully natural yet, over 9 months into transitioning, but the CG method has been great for both my natural hair and permed ends. I've heard that the CG method has brought some people's hair from being completely dry to soft and moisturized, and minimized breakage. People often try it out for 6 weeks (bc, the first couple weeks can tend to seem bad, but then it gets really good) to see if it'll work for them.
Last Relaxer: July 6th, 2012, approx 1:30pm.
12 months/52.2 weeks/365 days transitioning!






"Right now I'm wearing a 'Darn-I-Went-To-Bed-Without-A-Scarf' and later I'm gonna try a 'Salvage-This-And-Try-To-Look-Presentable.'"
Have you tried the curly girl method? I'm not fully natural yet, over 9 months into transitioning, but the CG method has been great for both my natural hair and permed ends. I've heard that the CG method has brought some people's hair from being completely dry to soft and moisturized, and minimized breakage. People often try it out for 6 weeks (bc, the first couple weeks can tend to seem bad, but then it gets really good) to see if it'll work for them.
Originally Posted by Oats22
Hmm what EXACTLY is the curly girl method? I'm a little confused. I thought it was when you don't use sulfate shampoos?

Every two weeks I wash my hair with bentonite clay mixed with apple cider vinegar. Then I deep co using mayo,honey, and olive oil (i don't use egg anymore because it leaves stuff on my hair). then I moisturize with shea moisture curl enhancing smoothie and seal with coconut oil.
Originally Posted by NewlyNaturalG
I would suggest you find a good full conditioner to use as a leave-in (shea moisture restorative, for example) and then seal it in with oil...under the smoothie. The smoothie isn't really designed to be a moisturizer, it's more of a styling product that can also provide moisture....

I also just wanted to add that not all hair is soft naturally. If your texture is very coarse, it will probably never be soft like you want. Do you know your hair properties? Coarse hair doesn't bend easily and feels wiry, like a pubic hair (sorry for the comparison). My gray hairs are coarse and that's what they feel like. Part of the natural journey is accepting what you have been given and working with it as best you can.

What do you do between washes? Are you not wetting your hair during this time at all? If so, 2 weeks is a long time for your hair to go without additional moisture (I must be missing something here, so I'm sorry if I sound dense!).
2C/ Coarse/ Normal porosity/ SW Florida/ Salt & Pepper
Cleanse: CJ Daily Fix, JC Cleansing Cream, TJ Tea Tree Condish
Condish: JC Too Shea, CJ Curl Rehab (both as RO & LI)
Stylers: UFD CM, CJ PP, JC Spiralicious, Darcy's Cream Gel & Cocoa bean whip

Last edited by chloe92us; 04-24-2013 at 04:43 PM.

Every two weeks I wash my hair with bentonite clay mixed with apple cider vinegar. Then I deep co using mayo,honey, and olive oil (i don't use egg anymore because it leaves stuff on my hair). then I moisturize with shea moisture curl enhancing smoothie and seal with coconut oil.
Originally Posted by NewlyNaturalG
I would suggest you find a good full conditioner to use as a leave-in (shea moisture restorative, for example) and then seal it in with oil...under the smoothie. The smoothie isn't really designed to be a moisturizer, it's more of a styling product that can also provide moisture....

What do you do between washes? Are you not wetting your hair during this time at all? If so, 2 weeks is a long time for your hair to go without additional moisture (I must be missing something here, so I'm sorry if I sound dense!).
Originally Posted by chloe92us
But that's the thing, I cannot find a full conditioner because nothing works! My biggest problem is that my hair doesn't take products. I think once I can solve that problem life will be easier haha. And I don't moisturize too often between washes to be honest. But that's only because I know my hair won't change at all so I guess I lose motivation to moisturize my hair.
Nothing will work miracles with one use....it's all about consistently providing the moisture to your hair. I think you should try wetting it every few days, not washing, but massaging your scalp to remove build up, and "washing" with conditioner only. Then after you turn off the water, put more condish in, seal with oil, then add your smoothie.

If you're so frustrated that you're considering going back to relaxers, it's worth a shot....right!!!!???? You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

My hair would be drier than the Sahara if left to its own devices for 2 weeks!!! Of course, my scalp would be an oil slick, but that's another story.
dusalocks likes this.
2C/ Coarse/ Normal porosity/ SW Florida/ Salt & Pepper
Cleanse: CJ Daily Fix, JC Cleansing Cream, TJ Tea Tree Condish
Condish: JC Too Shea, CJ Curl Rehab (both as RO & LI)
Stylers: UFD CM, CJ PP, JC Spiralicious, Darcy's Cream Gel & Cocoa bean whip
Here's something to inspire you. CG is about eliminating sulfates and silicones (which you're already doing), but the main point to it is learning that conditioner is your best friend, you need to embrace your friend and have a visit every couple days!

Post your before & After CG pics
2C/ Coarse/ Normal porosity/ SW Florida/ Salt & Pepper
Cleanse: CJ Daily Fix, JC Cleansing Cream, TJ Tea Tree Condish
Condish: JC Too Shea, CJ Curl Rehab (both as RO & LI)
Stylers: UFD CM, CJ PP, JC Spiralicious, Darcy's Cream Gel & Cocoa bean whip
I don't know too much bc I'm still learning myself how to properly take care of my hair but I suffered from extreme dry hair too and I noticed the only things that seemed to help are steam treatments and cowashing. See if you can find a salon and get steam treatments done a few times and see if it helps any. That's what I did before I bought a steamer to do it at home and it made a huge difference. And I use As I Am cowash every 2-3 days and that has helped too.
Originally Posted by Nessa31787
I use heat on my hair during deep conditioning and that doesn't do a thing so I'm not sure if I'll bother going to a salon for steam treatments. And co-washing I'm considering. I actually might get the coconut co-washing thing. Is that a good product?
Originally Posted by NewlyNaturalG
I think the coconut cowash works really good it doesn't have any sulfates or silicones and it helps prevent buildup in my hair between shampoos.

And steamers are different from just applying heat when deep conditioning because it helps penetrate the hair shaft with water instead of dry heat. I know deep conditioners didn't do much for my hair when it was relaxed nor when I was natural with or without heat. It wasn't until I started getting steam treatments that I actually saw a difference with moisture in my hair. I mean its worth a shot seeing as how nothing else has seemed to work and salons typically charge between $20-$40 to get it done.

I hope you find something that works because i know first hand how horrible dry hair can be. I was at my wits end quite a few times dealing with how brittle and rough my hair was that I too thought only going back to a relaxer would help me manage my hair and not leave it so dry, but I'm glad I didn't.

Don't give up though I'm sure your solution is out there
Nothing will work miracles with one use....it's all about consistently providing the moisture to your hair. I think you should try wetting it every few days, not washing, but massaging your scalp to remove build up, and "washing" with conditioner only. Then after you turn off the water, put more condish in, seal with oil, then add your smoothie.

If you're so frustrated that you're considering going back to relaxers, it's worth a shot....right!!!!???? You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

My hair would be drier than the Sahara if left to its own devices for 2 weeks!!! Of course, my scalp would be an oil slick, but that's another story.
Originally Posted by chloe92us
That's so true when I would go longer than a few days without doing anything to my hair it would be murder lol! Great point!
I agree with the others. If you're not wetting and adding moisture in that two week time frame, your hair is going to be very unhappy. Also, what you're deep conditioning with is more than just conditioner- it's a protein treatment. My hair doesn't love a lot of protein treatments, I only use them when I absolutely need to, if my hair seems really really limp. If your hair is dry and coarse, it could be protein sensitive- and it sounds like you're using lots of protein and not enough straight up conditioning moisture to counteract it.

When I first started the cg method, I was having to wet my hair daily, and it was a little (okay, a lot) cumbersome BUT there was a major difference in the moisture level of my hair. It was softer, smoother, and I had a lot less tangles. My hair didn't seem as "angry" and unmanageable as I'd always thought it was.

If it was me, I would start off with a serious deep conditioning treatment- something overnight or at least a half hour with heat- then I'd cowash daily or at least every other day for a week or two and see how you're doing.
dusalocks likes this.
Curly work in progress
2C with some 3A if all the stars align
Low porosity, medium to low density and fine
No sulfates since 2009
CG since 2013

In my stash:
Shampoos and conditioners- Tresemme Naturals Low Poo, Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing Aloe, Suave Naturals Coconut
Leave Ins- Kinky Curly Knot Today
Stylers- KCCC, AG Recoil, KY Lubricant (yup), SM Curl Milk
Gels- Ecostyler, Biosilk RHG
Mousse- Devacurl Uplifting Foam, Suave Captivating Curls
Nothing will work miracles with one use....it's all about consistently providing the moisture to your hair. I think you should try wetting it every few days, not washing, but massaging your scalp to remove build up, and "washing" with conditioner only. Then after you turn off the water, put more condish in, seal with oil, then add your smoothie.

If you're so frustrated that you're considering going back to relaxers, it's worth a shot....right!!!!???? You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

My hair would be drier than the Sahara if left to its own devices for 2 weeks!!! Of course, my scalp would be an oil slick, but that's another story.
Originally Posted by chloe92us
Here's something to inspire you. CG is about eliminating sulfates and silicones (which you're already doing), but the main point to it is learning that conditioner is your best friend, you need to embrace your friend and have a visit every couple days!

Post your before & After CG pics
Originally Posted by chloe92us
You're right. I've never been consist with my hare care. I think it was because I sort of gave up. But what do I have to lose? I think I'll try the co-washing only method and stop using bentonite clay [for my hair]. I'm thinking of my "shampoo" being the I am Me Coconut Cowash. And I'm thinking of trying the Aussie Moist 3-minute miracle because I've really only heard good things about it. However I'm not sure if the ingredients are healthy for my hair, I'll have to check first. I think I should get a leave-in conditioner too, I have no idea which one though. I'm also thinking of trying hairfinity pills because my diet is also very bad and I know I'm not getting the vitamins and nutrients needed for healthy hair.
I don't know too much bc I'm still learning myself how to properly take care of my hair but I suffered from extreme dry hair too and I noticed the only things that seemed to help are steam treatments and cowashing. See if you can find a salon and get steam treatments done a few times and see if it helps any. That's what I did before I bought a steamer to do it at home and it made a huge difference. And I use As I Am cowash every 2-3 days and that has helped too.
Originally Posted by Nessa31787
I use heat on my hair during deep conditioning and that doesn't do a thing so I'm not sure if I'll bother going to a salon for steam treatments. And co-washing I'm considering. I actually might get the coconut co-washing thing. Is that a good product?
Originally Posted by NewlyNaturalG
I think the coconut cowash works really good it doesn't have any sulfates or silicones and it helps prevent buildup in my hair between shampoos.

And steamers are different from just applying heat when deep conditioning because it helps penetrate the hair shaft with water instead of dry heat. I know deep conditioners didn't do much for my hair when it was relaxed nor when I was natural with or without heat. It wasn't until I started getting steam treatments that I actually saw a difference with moisture in my hair. I mean its worth a shot seeing as how nothing else has seemed to work and salons typically charge between $20-$40 to get it done.

I hope you find something that works because i know first hand how horrible dry hair can be. I was at my wits end quite a few times dealing with how brittle and rough my hair was that I too thought only going back to a relaxer would help me manage my hair and not leave it so dry, but I'm glad I didn't.

Don't give up though I'm sure your solution is out there
Originally Posted by Nessa31787
I wanted to save up for a Heautiful Hair Steamer but I found my dryer and thought that'd be okay. And after a few weeks of trying this CG method I'll see if I still need the professional help. I still might get a steamer of my own though. Thank you! I also heard hairfinity pills do wonders for some peoples hair so I'm considering that too!
I agree with the others. If you're not wetting and adding moisture in that two week time frame, your hair is going to be very unhappy. Also, what you're deep conditioning with is more than just conditioner- it's a protein treatment. My hair doesn't love a lot of protein treatments, I only use them when I absolutely need to, if my hair seems really really limp. If your hair is dry and coarse, it could be protein sensitive- and it sounds like you're using lots of protein and not enough straight up conditioning moisture to counteract it.

When I first started the cg method, I was having to wet my hair daily, and it was a little (okay, a lot) cumbersome BUT there was a major difference in the moisture level of my hair. It was softer, smoother, and I had a lot less tangles. My hair didn't seem as "angry" and unmanageable as I'd always thought it was.

If it was me, I would start off with a serious deep conditioning treatment- something overnight or at least a half hour with heat- then I'd cowash daily or at least every other day for a week or two and see how you're doing.
Originally Posted by Luuuuucy
I have 4b-4c hair so I don't think cowashing EVERY day is the best idea for my type. That's why I do it once every two weeks. So I don't know are you saying I should soak my hair in just plain old water and it'll get better?
And my hair doesn't accept deep conditioning treatments so I would know a product I could use to give my hair a serious deep treatment :/
Well, no, I'm not saying that just plain water soaking would help. Why do you think cowashing daily would be bad on your hair exactly? If you have dry coarse hair, it needs more moisture. To do that, you're going to need to condition it a lot more often than its currently getting. I have low porosity hair that is resistant to deep conditioning too, but I've found that the daily lighter conditioning helps it, as does steam deep conditioning. I don't have a steamer, but I wrap a hot, wet towel around it for about thirty minutes.

Basically the bottom line is with your hair being dry and unmanageable, it needs more moisture and it just sounds like your current routine isn't giving it quite the moisture it needs. Hair loses moisture, so a daily cowash (which is just a daily condition basically) would help dramatically.
Curly work in progress
2C with some 3A if all the stars align
Low porosity, medium to low density and fine
No sulfates since 2009
CG since 2013

In my stash:
Shampoos and conditioners- Tresemme Naturals Low Poo, Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing Aloe, Suave Naturals Coconut
Leave Ins- Kinky Curly Knot Today
Stylers- KCCC, AG Recoil, KY Lubricant (yup), SM Curl Milk
Gels- Ecostyler, Biosilk RHG
Mousse- Devacurl Uplifting Foam, Suave Captivating Curls
As for deep treatments, with dry hair, have you tried any oils? An overnight olive oil, coconut oil, or avocado oil treatment might be just what your hair wants, rather than protein.
PomegranateCurl likes this.
Curly work in progress
2C with some 3A if all the stars align
Low porosity, medium to low density and fine
No sulfates since 2009
CG since 2013

In my stash:
Shampoos and conditioners- Tresemme Naturals Low Poo, Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing Aloe, Suave Naturals Coconut
Leave Ins- Kinky Curly Knot Today
Stylers- KCCC, AG Recoil, KY Lubricant (yup), SM Curl Milk
Gels- Ecostyler, Biosilk RHG
Mousse- Devacurl Uplifting Foam, Suave Captivating Curls

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