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Old 05-11-2013, 08:29 AM   #1
 
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Default So offended!!!

I'm sitting at work and we're have a routine morning meeting so a completely normal start to the day, then out of know where my boss makes a comment about having a neat appearance and making sure all our hair is combed which then following him laughing a little.

I know the comment was directed to me because I decided to wear my hair with minimal product today and rock big hair for a change since the weathers not great here and my hair would fizz up anyway.

I'm not upset because I'm use to ignorant comments people say about my hair but I'm offended that he would say something so inappropriate in fornt of everyone.

Last edited by TresKurlz20; 05-11-2013 at 08:33 AM.
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Old 05-11-2013, 08:44 AM   #2
 
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Originally Posted by TresKurlz20 View Post
I'm sitting at work and we're have a routine morning meeting so a completely normal start to the day, then out of know where my boss makes a comment about having a neat appearance and making sure all our hair is combed which then following him laughing a little.

I know the comment was directed to me because I decided to wear my hair with minimal product today and rock big hair for a change since the weathers not great here and my hair would fizz up anyway.

I'm not upset because I'm use to ignorant comments people say about my hair but I'm offended that he would say something so inappropriate in fornt of everyone.
A boss is not supposed to do that in front of your co-workers. If he has a problem with you hair have a talk with him in public because it is very rude and unprofessional to do so in front of other employees.

If he does it again then bring it up to him saying how it offends you when he makes comments about your hair in which you were born with.
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Old 05-11-2013, 09:00 AM   #3
 
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Originally Posted by TresKurlz20 View Post
I'm sitting at work and we're have a routine morning meeting so a completely normal start to the day, then out of know where my boss makes a comment about having a neat appearance and making sure all our hair is combed which then following him laughing a little.

I know the comment was directed to me because I decided to wear my hair with minimal product today and rock big hair for a change since the weathers not great here and my hair would fizz up anyway.

I'm not upset because I'm use to ignorant comments people say about my hair but I'm offended that he would say something so inappropriate in front of everyone.
Get a comb and comb it like your boss requested preferably with your head upside down, if you look anything like I do when my hair is combed out he will never ever ask you to do that again!! Or e-mail him a few links to videos/ photos of curly girls with similar wave patterns to yours after brushing. There is a thread on here on NC somewhere plus YouTube vidoes, Diana Ross in Chain Reaction looks amazing with her hair all brushed out but probably not the look your boss was hoping for.
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Old 05-11-2013, 10:13 AM   #4
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TresKurlz20 View Post
I'm sitting at work and we're have a routine morning meeting so a completely normal start to the day, then out of know where my boss makes a comment about having a neat appearance and making sure all our hair is combed which then following him laughing a little.

I know the comment was directed to me because I decided to wear my hair with minimal product today and rock big hair for a change since the weathers not great here and my hair would fizz up anyway.

I'm not upset because I'm use to ignorant comments people say about my hair but I'm offended that he would say something so inappropriate in fornt of everyone.
A boss is not supposed to do that in front of your co-workers. If he has a problem with you hair have a talk with him in public because it is very rude and unprofessional to do so in front of other employees.

If he does it again then bring it up to him saying how it offends you when he makes comments about your hair in which you were born with.

Yeah next time I will say something if he feel the urge to make another dumb comments
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Old 05-11-2013, 10:20 AM   #5
 
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Originally Posted by Firefox7275 View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by TresKurlz20 View Post
I'm sitting at work and we're have a routine morning meeting so a completely normal start to the day, then out of know where my boss makes a comment about having a neat appearance and making sure all our hair is combed which then following him laughing a little.

I know the comment was directed to me because I decided to wear my hair with minimal product today and rock big hair for a change since the weathers not great here and my hair would fizz up anyway.

I'm not upset because I'm use to ignorant comments people say about my hair but I'm offended that he would say something so inappropriate in front of everyone.
Get a comb and comb it like your boss requested preferably with your head upside down, if you look anything like I do when my hair is combed out he will never ever ask you to do that again!! Or e-mail him a few links to videos/ photos of curly girls with similar wave patterns to yours after brushing. There is a thread on here on NC somewhere plus YouTube vidoes, Diana Ross in Chain Reaction looks amazing with her hair all brushed out but probably not the look your boss was hoping for.


lmao!! Too funny, but yeah people just don't understand that combs don't ever touch my hair.
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Old 05-11-2013, 11:40 AM   #6
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TresKurlz20 View Post
I'm sitting at work and we're have a routine morning meeting so a completely normal start to the day, then out of know where my boss makes a comment about having a neat appearance and making sure all our hair is combed which then following him laughing a little.

I know the comment was directed to me because I decided to wear my hair with minimal product today and rock big hair for a change since the weathers not great here and my hair would fizz up anyway.

I'm not upset because I'm use to ignorant comments people say about my hair but I'm offended that he would say something so inappropriate in fornt of everyone.
:O Unacceptable!! I'd be having a word about that with him.
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Old 05-11-2013, 11:51 AM   #7
 
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lmao!! Too funny, but yeah people just don't understand that combs don't ever touch my hair.
I'm half serious, he needs educating and there really is only one way of doing that, showing him what the result is be that on you or someone else. It is totally your boss' fault that he made a comment in a public situation rather than taking you to one side, it's acceptable for him to comment on grooming if you do have some sort of dresscode or expectations but it should have been done one-to-one and definitely no laughing. IMO it is not his fault that he doesn't know we curlies cannot brush or comb our hair without turning into a frizzball, that's the norm in many countries.

My own mother was totally shocked when she first saw my hair worn wavy-curly, she said it must have changed since I was little - nope, she sulphate shampoo'd, terry towelled and brushed my hair out. I had cherub curls as a baby, more of a triangular pouf as a child. She is supportive of me being curly but did once suggest I combed my hair, not being unkind just lacking in knowledge.
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Old 05-11-2013, 01:08 PM   #8
 
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Don't comb it! He is degrading you and trying to make you conform because he must believe only straight hair is professional. If he continues you need to say something to him and threaten you will go to the media for discrimination. That is disgusting treatment.

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Old 05-11-2013, 01:10 PM   #9
 
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I can't believe people think this is ok to say...

Oh I'm sorry, I meant in the aspect of the work environment but people like to switch words around.

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Last edited by Samanthascurlz; 05-11-2013 at 03:01 PM.
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Old 05-11-2013, 01:27 PM   #10
 
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Don't comb it! He is degrading you and trying to make you conform because he must believe only straight hair is professional. If he continues you need to say something to him and threaten you will go to the media for discrimination. That is disgusting treatment.
Discrimination for saying that people should comb their hair? You just assumed the boss thinks only straight hair is professional, that is NOT what the OP said and you cannot found a case on an assumption. Sounds more like to me he thinks only tidy or groomed hair is acceptable.

Many people think curly hair can or should be brushed, plenty of trained hairdressers are ignorant enough to comb us out into a huge pouf, and this is a man who likely knows even less about hair than a woman does! To me the comment was more stupidity than anything, combing our hair gives us anything but a "neat appearance"!!

Nobody has pretended it was acceptable to say, we have all said it is unacceptable given the context and the manner in which it was done. It is acceptable to for a manager to remind the staff about personal grooming IF it is done in a professional manner, this was not. It would have been closer to discrimination if the manager had pulled the OP aside and only spoken to them, yet other people also had untidy hair and were not reminded.
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Old 05-11-2013, 02:59 PM   #11
 
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Actually I disagree with you and don't appreciate your rudeness. Yes, it's fine to tell your employees to present the company in a clean and groomed manner (like you said). However, to make a smirk or to make an employee feel targeted is NOT appropriate. I am not assuming, I KNOW that her boss is INDIRECTLY stating that bigger or even curly hair is not "groom appropriate." It's called being passive because he knows he CAN NOT tell the young woman that her hair isn't groomed. I APOLOGIZE I shouldn't have used discrimination because that is too strong of a word. Before you decide to attack a post, be nice, and thoroughly read. I don't appreciate you trying to point out everything wrong with my reply. There are a lot nicer ways to disagree. I have no problem with no one agreeing, but try to be kinder about it especially since it's the internet and I have to assume a tone when reading your post. THANKS. :-)

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Old 05-11-2013, 03:38 PM   #12
 
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Actually I disagree with you and don't appreciate your rudeness. Yes, it's fine to tell your employees to present the company in a clean and groomed manner (like you said). However, to make a smirk or to make an employee feel targeted is NOT appropriate. I am not assuming, I KNOW that her boss is INDIRECTLY stating that bigger or even curly hair is not "groom appropriate." It's called being passive because he knows he CAN NOT tell the young woman that her hair isn't groomed. I APOLOGIZE I shouldn't have used discrimination because that is too strong of a word. Before you decide to attack a post, be nice, and thoroughly read. I don't appreciate you trying to point out everything wrong with my reply. There are a lot nicer ways to disagree. I have no problem with no one agreeing, but try to be kinder about it especially since it's the internet and I have to assume a tone when reading your post. THANKS. :-)

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There is a difference between straighforwardness and rudeness, please do not assume any 'tone' that you cannot see or hear it is not there. It would be much nicer if you were to assume straightforwardness not rudeness. Please remember we are not all from the same background or even country here, despite (mostly) speaking the same language.

Agree with you wholeheartedly the laughing was completely inappropriate, nobody has said or intimated that is was anything else. I also agree with you it was passive-aggressive to address the issue in a group setting. You said you could not believe people thought it was ok to say, my posts were the closest to that. If you did not mean me I also apologise but frankly I cannot see who else you were referring to.
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CO-wash: Inecto coconut
Treatments: Komaza Matani, coconut oil, Hairveda Sitrinillah
Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss ultimate volume, Inecto argan
Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Boots Essentials gel
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Old 05-11-2013, 03:50 PM   #13
 
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Originally Posted by Samanthascurlz View Post
Actually I disagree with you and don't appreciate your rudeness. Yes, it's fine to tell your employees to present the company in a clean and groomed manner (like you said). However, to make a smirk or to make an employee feel targeted is NOT appropriate. I am not assuming, I KNOW that her boss is INDIRECTLY stating that bigger or even curly hair is not "groom appropriate." It's called being passive because he knows he CAN NOT tell the young woman that her hair isn't groomed. I APOLOGIZE I shouldn't have used discrimination because that is too strong of a word. Before you decide to attack a post, be nice, and thoroughly read. I don't appreciate you trying to point out everything wrong with my reply. There are a lot nicer ways to disagree. I have no problem with no one agreeing, but try to be kinder about it especially since it's the internet and I have to assume a tone when reading your post. THANKS. :-)

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There is a difference between straighforwardness and rudeness, please do not assume any 'tone' that you cannot see or hear it is not there. It would be much nicer if you were to assume straightforwardness not rudeness. Please remember we are not all from the same background or even country here, despite (mostly) speaking the same language.

Agree with you wholeheartedly the laughing was completely inappropriate, nobody has said or intimated that is was anything else. I also agree with you it was passive-aggressive to address the issue in a group setting. You said you could not believe people thought it was ok to say, my posts were the closest to that. If you did not mean me I also apologise but frankly I cannot see who else you were referring to.
You have to remember, since we are behind a computer or phone screen, I am going to take something and have to assume that. That is fine with being straightforward but I felt that it was the way you wrote it. It was as if everything I said was being ignorant. I personally felt strongly when I read the post (about her boss), because it is so sad that girls have to feel that way.

Thank you for responding in a nice manner and I do appreciate what you wrote. In response to the second post I wrote underneath my longer one, I was referring to people thinking and I guess passively saying, negative connotations towards grooming. In my head I figured her boss saw volume hair + frizz = un-groomed curly hair compared to groomed straight hair. That is why I mentioned he must prefer straight hair. I feel it is a safe assumption because there have been numerous stories on top CEO women with curly hair who had to sue for discrimination because other members had negative comments about curly hair. Obviously it was more extreme but I feel that people start off with little comments such as this young women's boss and then it begins to escalate. I feel bad writing too out of the topic from this young woman's post, but that is my opinion and I apologize for blowing up her post and what happened to her.
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Old 05-11-2013, 04:09 PM   #14
 
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It was just plain wrong on a lot of levels if you ask me.
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Old 05-11-2013, 07:09 PM   #15
 
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You should feel offended because you were!

Men in general can be such buttheads at times and your boss is surely one!

Rock that hair woman!!
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