You're not alone.
That doesn't help with your hair issues, I know, but isn't it nice to know that you're not the only person in the world who feels that way?
Most of my pics in my fotki are at the very lovely drying phase.
I'm in the process of trying to find products that help my hair I'll let you know if I find anything good....
Here's what seems to help me so far:
Using honey mixed in with my conditioner and with my gel. I put about a pea size in each. This sounds really weird, but it seems to make a difference.
After I get done with my shower, I flip my head upside down and apply a leave-in conditioner followed by a strong-hold gel to my soaking wet hair.
Then, wrapping my hair up in a t-shirt/ plopping helps my hair to curl up more so it looks less "poofy" and more curly.
The best way to keep your hair looking nice is to let it air dry and do not touch it while it is drying.
After my hair dries, if it's looking a little poofy I'll put some product in my hand and smooth it over my hair kind of like I'm putting it up in a pony tail.
I'm still having problems getting my hair to behave, but this is what has been helping so far. My hair has been looking pretty good in the morning, but it hasn't been lasting through the day. So you'll have to let me know if you come up with any way to fix this
Just remember, you are probably your worst critic. Your hair probably looks better than you think it does. Don't forget that there are other curlies out there who feel your pain!