Lost- so close to giving up, help!

Like Tree4Likes

I'm just having a really hard time figuring out my hair. It doesn't seem like it likes much of anything. There is never a definitive "oh, my hair HATED that", and rarely do I style it and think its even close to a holy grail. I can barely even get it to be acceptable for more than a few hours.
My biggest battle is frizz. I also lose a significant amount of hair and battle serious tangles by the end of the day- mostly when I go curly, it seems to revolt against most product and just seems matted up. It's long, bra strap length, no chemical dyes, but I henna about once every 6-8 months. Before cg, I air dried and would curl a few prices quickly and it would last 3-4 days. Now I mostly put it up because I have been lazy and frustrated. I sometimes diffuse when going curly. Sometimes I just air dry and bun it. When I dry it in a bun, this is when I most often have the best hair in terms of frizz- but it takes AGES to dry, longer than a day, and gives me wonky ends sometimes.
I believe I'm low porosity because it feels pretty smooth when I run my fingers upwards, and it squeaks. I never notice much of a difference when I deep condition, and a lot of products just seem to weigh it down.
I cannot seem to figure out if its fine or coarse. The strands seem light and not heavy, but my hair overall feels wiry to me. But maybe it's not really wiry, and it's actually just dry.
My hair is not very elastic. It snaps easily and I lose a LOT.
I cannot figure out if I need protein or not. Fine hair says use protein, low porosity hair says beware. When I've done pt's I don't see a big difference one way or another.

I mostly cowash with tresemme naturals. I do a low po as needed. Sometimes weekly, sometimes less.

I struggle to find the balance between fighting frizz and weighing my hair down. It's wavy and I see the potential for spiral curls but it only ever happens sometimes, when all the stars align. What works once will never work again.

I live in Cincinnati, it's disgusting right now and humid and hot. I feel like or tried the gamut of products. I really dislike products on my hair most of the time. I do like soft hair and I like to be able to touch it, so a softer wavy style is what I'm after. I really don't care how strong the curl is, I JUST want it to be soft and frizz free. I struggle because lighter products don't seem to get the job done, whereas heavier ones feel, well, heavy, and make my hair tangled and dry feeling.

What can anyone recommend? I will try jut about anything but have tried a LOT. I have a drawerful of half empty bottles to prove it. Mousse, gels, creams, kccc, fsg, okra gel, etc etc.
Curly work in progress
2C with some 3A if all the stars align
Low porosity, medium to low density and fine
No sulfates since 2009
CG since 2013

In my stash:
Shampoos and conditioners- Tresemme Naturals Low Poo, Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing Aloe, Suave Naturals Coconut
Leave Ins- Kinky Curly Knot Today
Stylers- KCCC, AG Recoil, KY Lubricant (yup), SM Curl Milk
Gels- Ecostyler, Biosilk RHG
Mousse- Devacurl Uplifting Foam, Suave Captivating Curls
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time!

What did you use before you went CG that worked for you (routine and products)?

And what is your current routine? (I know you've tried tons of products, but I'm asking about how often you wet/ wash (and with what)/ how you apply products/ diffuse vs air dry, etc,)

Do you DT/ PT? If so, with what?
2C/ Coarse/ Normal porosity/ SW Florida/ Salt & Pepper
Cleanse: CJ Daily Fix, JC Cleansing Cream, TJ Tea Tree Condish
Condish: JC Too Shea, CJ Curl Rehab (both as RO & LI)
Stylers: UFD CM, CJ PP, JC Spiralicious, Darcy's Cream Gel & Cocoa bean whip
Before I went cg, I rarely wore my hair curly. I have been sulfate free for years but never cared for my hair in its natural curl/wave state. I would try once in a while and then go back. I used to just air dry then add a few curls with a large barrel iron. This smoothed it down, and gave it a nice soft wave that lasted for a few days. Honestly, this is how I prefer my hair. I always liked it. But I would like to have a curly style that I like too, something I can wash and wear. My problem is that curly hair atm is much higher maintenance. I used to fix it once every few days and wake up with it looking pretty great. Now it's a mess of I go curly. I want to love it!
I dc about every two weeks, pt here and there. Maybe monthly or less.
Curly work in progress
2C with some 3A if all the stars align
Low porosity, medium to low density and fine
No sulfates since 2009
CG since 2013

In my stash:
Shampoos and conditioners- Tresemme Naturals Low Poo, Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing Aloe, Suave Naturals Coconut
Leave Ins- Kinky Curly Knot Today
Stylers- KCCC, AG Recoil, KY Lubricant (yup), SM Curl Milk
Gels- Ecostyler, Biosilk RHG
Mousse- Devacurl Uplifting Foam, Suave Captivating Curls
So, you didn't use any styling products before? Have you tried conditioner-only styling? It doesn't work for me, but several wavies do it and it works for them!

I use an obscene amount of product, so I'm probably not the one to be advising you! It sound like your hair prefers the less is more approach.
2C/ Coarse/ Normal porosity/ SW Florida/ Salt & Pepper
Cleanse: CJ Daily Fix, JC Cleansing Cream, TJ Tea Tree Condish
Condish: JC Too Shea, CJ Curl Rehab (both as RO & LI)
Stylers: UFD CM, CJ PP, JC Spiralicious, Darcy's Cream Gel & Cocoa bean whip
Oh- sorry. As for how I style:
If I go curly, I find the need to wet down and start from scratch daily. It's so tangled and messy looking on day two that even a ponytail is scraggly looking to me. I'm admittedly picky.
I've been trying to use less and less and figure my hair out. Currently I cowash, use a small amount of leave in, then I rotate products almost daily or every other day because I don't usually have a lot of success. I usually try mousse with a bit of gel over it, or gel (brhg and ecostyler are what I currently have) over some kind of frizz fighter or other styler (recoil, sm milk, kccc).
Curly work in progress
2C with some 3A if all the stars align
Low porosity, medium to low density and fine
No sulfates since 2009
CG since 2013

In my stash:
Shampoos and conditioners- Tresemme Naturals Low Poo, Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing Aloe, Suave Naturals Coconut
Leave Ins- Kinky Curly Knot Today
Stylers- KCCC, AG Recoil, KY Lubricant (yup), SM Curl Milk
Gels- Ecostyler, Biosilk RHG
Mousse- Devacurl Uplifting Foam, Suave Captivating Curls
And that's part of my problem- I honestly can't tell if my HAIR doesn't like it or if *I* don't like it. Does that make sense? I don't care for the way product feels in my hair, but without its pretty poofy and undefined.

I haven't tried conditioner only styling as an actual process but maybe I should. If I'm going low maintenance, I find that I like my hair the most when I put on a bit if curl milk and split it into two sections and twist them into spirals. It dries in ringlets but because I'm low porosity, it takes forever to dry so it's not feasible for every day if I need to get going. I still get a little frizz but its a little less.
Curly work in progress
2C with some 3A if all the stars align
Low porosity, medium to low density and fine
No sulfates since 2009
CG since 2013

In my stash:
Shampoos and conditioners- Tresemme Naturals Low Poo, Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing Aloe, Suave Naturals Coconut
Leave Ins- Kinky Curly Knot Today
Stylers- KCCC, AG Recoil, KY Lubricant (yup), SM Curl Milk
Gels- Ecostyler, Biosilk RHG
Mousse- Devacurl Uplifting Foam, Suave Captivating Curls
And sometimes I wonder why I'm doing this to myself. Why do I feel like I HAVE to like my curly hair when, honestly, I loved it before the way I styled it? I just feel like there must be some hidden amazing potential in there and don't want to give up!
Curly work in progress
2C with some 3A if all the stars align
Low porosity, medium to low density and fine
No sulfates since 2009
CG since 2013

In my stash:
Shampoos and conditioners- Tresemme Naturals Low Poo, Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing Aloe, Suave Naturals Coconut
Leave Ins- Kinky Curly Knot Today
Stylers- KCCC, AG Recoil, KY Lubricant (yup), SM Curl Milk
Gels- Ecostyler, Biosilk RHG
Mousse- Devacurl Uplifting Foam, Suave Captivating Curls
Ok, this is just an observation. If you've been sulphate free for years, and "before" CG, you were letting your hair air dry....what exactly did you change to do the CG method? I guess, to me, it sounds like you already were following the method.

I think the reason so many people have an "aha" experience with CG is that they were doing the exact opposite of the method before (using sulphates, straightening, blow drying, using silicones, etc) and didnt even realize how curly their hair actually was. That was me. I just had no clue that it was curly- it was neglected, to say the least. So, as I learned to care for it, and chopped off all the damage, I had curls.

You, on the other hand, have been treating your hair nicely and had already eliminated sulphates, so I'm not sure you will see much of a difference.

Wavy hair is beautiful, and if that is what your hair is, you should embrace it. I would honestly go back to what you were doing before. Keep your CG conditioners and sulphate free poo, and do what you did! Because it really sounds like you've been CG all along! Maybe just all the manipulation & products that your hair isn't used to, is what's causing the frizz.
2C/ Coarse/ Normal porosity/ SW Florida/ Salt & Pepper
Cleanse: CJ Daily Fix, JC Cleansing Cream, TJ Tea Tree Condish
Condish: JC Too Shea, CJ Curl Rehab (both as RO & LI)
Stylers: UFD CM, CJ PP, JC Spiralicious, Darcy's Cream Gel & Cocoa bean whip

Last edited by chloe92us; 07-20-2013 at 01:25 PM.
Well, I was basically straightening or eat styling my hair before. I never liked it curly, sulphate free or not. I haven't found a product that works for me so that I can wear it in its natural state. It's definitely correct that I haven't seen a big difference in my hair, makes total sense. I was just hoping that by now, learning all of this, I would have found a way to style my curls or waves but I haven't. I still don't like them and still have a big poof of hair when I try to go natural. It's a bummer.
Curly work in progress
2C with some 3A if all the stars align
Low porosity, medium to low density and fine
No sulfates since 2009
CG since 2013

In my stash:
Shampoos and conditioners- Tresemme Naturals Low Poo, Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing Aloe, Suave Naturals Coconut
Leave Ins- Kinky Curly Knot Today
Stylers- KCCC, AG Recoil, KY Lubricant (yup), SM Curl Milk
Gels- Ecostyler, Biosilk RHG
Mousse- Devacurl Uplifting Foam, Suave Captivating Curls
Sorry, hit enter! I agree that maybe it's all the manipulation my hair is aggravated by- hadn't thought of that! Maybe I'll go conditioner only for a few days and rotate in one product at a time if more is needed and see what happens!
Curly work in progress
2C with some 3A if all the stars align
Low porosity, medium to low density and fine
No sulfates since 2009
CG since 2013

In my stash:
Shampoos and conditioners- Tresemme Naturals Low Poo, Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing Aloe, Suave Naturals Coconut
Leave Ins- Kinky Curly Knot Today
Stylers- KCCC, AG Recoil, KY Lubricant (yup), SM Curl Milk
Gels- Ecostyler, Biosilk RHG
Mousse- Devacurl Uplifting Foam, Suave Captivating Curls
There's several things that could be going on. You may have some buildup problems (try clarifying). If your hair is truly fine you should def be doing regular PTs, in high dews even weekly. I would second conditioner only styling if you like a soft, product less look. Its what i do most days. I like jelly products as well bc of their light feel.

Low porosity in high dews is tricky IMO. The best things for high dews are antihumectants such as oils, but those will take forever to absorb on someone who is low-po. Low-po curlies in moderate dews can use lighter-feeling products (like more humectanty conditioners) with no problems... But they don't have the high dews to deal with. Hard hold gels are supposed to be good with high dews as well... But you said you don't like them? Have you tried using a hard hold gel clean? Like without anything underneath?
fine - normal porosity*?- medium density - normal elasticity. Hard water. SoCal.
*Used to be low-porosity, but I lightened my hair 1-2 shades, so I may be normal-porosity now.

New climate! Current favorites:
Low-poo: CJ Gentle Cleansing Shampoo, Giovanni SaS
RO: V05 Kiwi Lime
Styler: UFD CM (old formula), FSG + CNPF
PT: CJ Repair Me, IAgirl's gelatine

Experimenting with: JC Confident Coils, JC Rockin Ringlets, CJ CIAB, gelatin gel

iherb discount code: CFN646
Chloe, correct. When I straightened or curled prior to going natural, I never used products. I used a dab of coconut oil on damp hair from time to time. (Which is weird because now I feel like it doesn't soak in?!)

And that might be something to try- gel with nothing else. A little gel over conditioner only might be what I need just to tame it when it's really high humidity.

I really appreciate the suggestions, I have tried a lot of products and styling but am always willing to try something new.
Curly work in progress
2C with some 3A if all the stars align
Low porosity, medium to low density and fine
No sulfates since 2009
CG since 2013

In my stash:
Shampoos and conditioners- Tresemme Naturals Low Poo, Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing Aloe, Suave Naturals Coconut
Leave Ins- Kinky Curly Knot Today
Stylers- KCCC, AG Recoil, KY Lubricant (yup), SM Curl Milk
Gels- Ecostyler, Biosilk RHG
Mousse- Devacurl Uplifting Foam, Suave Captivating Curls
Oh and I will definitely clarify and start over tomorrow. What would you recommend for a regular PT? I have done the yogurt/egg/evoo combo, should I continue on with that but more frequently? Or is there a good premade pt?
Curly work in progress
2C with some 3A if all the stars align
Low porosity, medium to low density and fine
No sulfates since 2009
CG since 2013

In my stash:
Shampoos and conditioners- Tresemme Naturals Low Poo, Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing Aloe, Suave Naturals Coconut
Leave Ins- Kinky Curly Knot Today
Stylers- KCCC, AG Recoil, KY Lubricant (yup), SM Curl Milk
Gels- Ecostyler, Biosilk RHG
Mousse- Devacurl Uplifting Foam, Suave Captivating Curls
Have you considered a hair analysis? The first time I tried this, I was frustrated with trying to figure it out and had a hard time understanding what my hair needed .
3A/2C fine, normal porosity & elasticity, medium high density

Current products:
YTCucs Color Protection Low poo
GVP Conditioning Balm
Random gels - not sure which ones I like, if any at this point!


HG Summer Routine:
poo - TMW Hydrate
RO & LI - Darcy's Pumpkin Seed
Leave in Products: CHSCK & LALMG
PT - CJ RM
DT - EVCO

Currently trying to figure out a winter routine and transition to a less harsh "poo" for summer.
I have, I think I should pull the trigger. Not sure why I haven't, I guess I keep forgetting!
Curly work in progress
2C with some 3A if all the stars align
Low porosity, medium to low density and fine
No sulfates since 2009
CG since 2013

In my stash:
Shampoos and conditioners- Tresemme Naturals Low Poo, Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing Aloe, Suave Naturals Coconut
Leave Ins- Kinky Curly Knot Today
Stylers- KCCC, AG Recoil, KY Lubricant (yup), SM Curl Milk
Gels- Ecostyler, Biosilk RHG
Mousse- Devacurl Uplifting Foam, Suave Captivating Curls
Hmmmm I wonder if something like the Moroccanoil Curl Mousse would be good for you. Some wavies need a gel over it but some don't. Conditioner only works well for me. AG recoil over an FSG works great for some too. Some can do it alone.
Forgot another product that a lot if wavies I know can use alone or with a gel is Herbal Essences Totally twisted curl creme. It's not strictly CG but hey if it works you know?
Oh and I will definitely clarify and start over tomorrow. What would you recommend for a regular PT? I have done the yogurt/egg/evoo combo, should I continue on with that but more frequently? Or is there a good premade pt?
Originally Posted by Luuuuucy
The protein molecules in the egg and yogurt are too big to attach to hair, but there's a great gelatin PT recipe on the forums if you search for it! There's ion effective care conditioner at Sally's that's a very mild protein condish or you can get colorful neutral protein filler at Sally's! Just look for stuff with hydrolyzed proteins! Those are the ones that can bind to your hair!
Firefox7275 likes this.
Cowash/Leave in- Suave naturals
RO-GVPCB
Gels- Biotera Styling Gel
SOTC-Biotera Curl Creme
Medium hair with normal porosity
Type 2C/3A
Off to Sally's! Thanks. I'll check into the mousse too. Mousse usually gives me better volume and gel better frizz control. But I haven't found one if either that gives me hold and still doesn't feel producty on my hair. Never need an excuse to buy a product.
I ordered the analysis last night, I'll gather it today and send it off. I'm going to start very simply today with conditioner only, then work from there.
Curly work in progress
2C with some 3A if all the stars align
Low porosity, medium to low density and fine
No sulfates since 2009
CG since 2013

In my stash:
Shampoos and conditioners- Tresemme Naturals Low Poo, Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing Aloe, Suave Naturals Coconut
Leave Ins- Kinky Curly Knot Today
Stylers- KCCC, AG Recoil, KY Lubricant (yup), SM Curl Milk
Gels- Ecostyler, Biosilk RHG
Mousse- Devacurl Uplifting Foam, Suave Captivating Curls
Hmmmm I wonder if something like the Moroccanoil Curl Mousse would be good for you. Some wavies need a gel over it but some don't. Conditioner only works well for me. AG recoil over an FSG works great for some too. Some can do it alone.
Originally Posted by chupie
I've been wanting to try AG recoil foreeeevveeerr... but doesn't it have glycerin? That's why I'm not trying it (in my horrendously high dews)
fine - normal porosity*?- medium density - normal elasticity. Hard water. SoCal.
*Used to be low-porosity, but I lightened my hair 1-2 shades, so I may be normal-porosity now.

New climate! Current favorites:
Low-poo: CJ Gentle Cleansing Shampoo, Giovanni SaS
RO: V05 Kiwi Lime
Styler: UFD CM (old formula), FSG + CNPF
PT: CJ Repair Me, IAgirl's gelatine

Experimenting with: JC Confident Coils, JC Rockin Ringlets, CJ CIAB, gelatin gel

iherb discount code: CFN646

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 08:52 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com