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Old 02-23-2007, 07:45 PM   #1
 
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Default One month into curly hair - and not feeling very glam...

Hi!

I just wondered if any of you have felt the same way as me?
I have been straightening my hair for over ten years - and I do love the look (and 99% of my friends and family have never seen it curly!), but it was beginning to do real damage, so I have been completely curly for a month now.

On a regular day to day basis, its ok, but on big nights out (like tonight), esp when I go clubbing or to a bar, I just don't feel trendy, or sexy or gorgeous without my swishy straight hair! I know this makes me sound like a traitor but I can't help but feel a bit unfashionable, and like an old lady!!!

I DO like my curls (honestly), and they don't cause me half as many probs as they could, but I am having serious straight hair withdrawal...!

Anyone else still feel like this sometimes (even you long time curlies?)

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Old 02-23-2007, 11:09 PM   #2
 
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Hi! I was there! Only difference that instead of blow drying my hair I would just put in a ponytail most of the time and once in a while blow dry it because I felt my curly hair was big and not pretty especially when all my friends either have straight hair or blow dry it when we go out. I felt that I didn't fit in.But that was then. I have finally learned to appreciate my hair and care for it and now I LOVE it. One of the things that I really like, now that I overcame that ridiculous phase, is that my hair doesn't look like everyone else. Look around when you got out clubbing or anytime, it seems that most women are obsessed with straight hair. So why want to be like everyone else when you can be unique? Yes curly hair is different! That's the beauty of it! IMO!

I'm sure you look gorgeous and sexy with your curly hair, trust me , it's just getting used to your natural look. I can imagine with ten years straightening it sure is a drastic change but with time it'll be better.

It's funny that you comment on looking like an old lady because in my case everyone tells me that I look younger. That it softens my face or something! I think it is super sexy. Once a guy came up to me just to say "There's nothing sexier than curly hair!" Cute.

So yes, it's probably just straight hair withdrawal. So don't give in.
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Old 02-23-2007, 11:52 PM   #3
 
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God, I'm so glad that I'm now immune to the pressures young girls allow themselves to be under with "fashion" and "trends" dictated by somebody else! The way I see it today as an older person is that in reality average people are fine with fitting in all the time (or as I actually call it, being part of "the herd"...) but it takes a stronger personality to decide to be an individual rather despite of what everyone else may think.
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Old 02-24-2007, 05:41 AM   #4
 
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That's funny, the older I get the more I prefer straightening. When I need to feel put together for something, I think about straightening.

When my hair is curly, I feel like I don't have a style, like I'm not put together. I went for 5 or more years wearing my hair curly every day and usually being unhappy with it. When I straighten, I feel like I don't have to think about it.
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Old 02-24-2007, 08:03 AM   #5
 
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Thanks girls - its a weird one, isn't it? I do think I am just going through straight hair withdrawal at the moment - this morning I feel abit better about my curls - and I think I should just count myself really lucky that I have the choice to go both ways...?!

Three Rivers Curly - I do know what you mean - when I straighten, I just don't have to think twice about my hair - I know it looks good! Eeek - I guess the 'holy grail' we are looking for is to feel the same about our curls!

halfstraighthalfcurly... I'm really pleased that you are so happy and confident with your curls - thats a great place to be in! But to be honest, I'm not a young girl just trying to follow the crowd (although I did mention fashion in my first post didn't I? so perhaps this does factor somewhere...)
This is much more about me just trying to work out who I am as far as my hair is concerned, where my confidenece comes from etc. I really don't think anyone (young, old, straight, curly, trend follower or setter) should be thought of as 'average' or 'in a herd'; I think we are all just trying to work things out, the best we can. One step / curl (!) at a time! x
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Old 02-24-2007, 09:40 AM   #6
 
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I've never been one to straighten often because I'm too clueless to do it myself and I have to have someone else do it.

That said, I can understand how you feel. I think most of us (with the exception of a few 'perfect' curlies) have felt that way from time to time.

Whatever positive traits I've felt having curly hair "glamorous" isn't one of them. I do usually feel sexy with curly hair myself, but if I am thinking of a sexy ad, the woman is usually a straightie or a loose wavy.

Withdrawal is normal. If you are able to pull off both options well, more power to you. I hope that you end up liking your hair curly more often just so you get less damage than frequent straightening, but it is nice to have options.

I don't think youth has everything to do with it. I'm almost 40 and can see where straight hair does have its fashion and convenience advantages.
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Old 02-24-2007, 10:39 AM   #7
 
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Default Re: One month into curly hair - and not feeling very glam...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal_tips
Hi!

I just wondered if any of you have felt the same way as me?
I have been straightening my hair for over ten years - and I do love the look (and 99% of my friends and family have never seen it curly!), but it was beginning to do real damage, so I have been completely curly for a month now.

On a regular day to day basis, its ok, but on big nights out (like tonight), esp when I go clubbing or to a bar, I just don't feel trendy, or sexy or gorgeous without my swishy straight hair! I know this makes me sound like a traitor but I can't help but feel a bit unfashionable, and like an old lady!!!

I DO like my curls (honestly), and they don't cause me half as many probs as they could, but I am having serious straight hair withdrawal...!

Anyone else still feel like this sometimes (even you long time curlies?)

I know what you mean about the "swish" of straight hair. It feels remarkable and so sexy. Maybe I'm just buying into the Pantene commercials. Who knows? How do we know what influences our personal preferences? Do I like chocolate better than vanilla because there are better chocolate commercials on TV?

I also know what you mean about the "old lady" look. I went through my teens years feeling that way. I kept my hair relatively short and feathered (it was the 80's after all) and blow dried it to a wave. The little gray-haired ladies loved it! Thought I had the perfect permanent and how they had to go to the salon each week to get their set, blah, blah, blah. OK, when you're 16, you don't want the only folks to compliment your hair to be 80 years old!

Since you mention straightening your hair is causing damage, maybe you can just save it for when you are going out? I think straightening your hair is a personal preference, and I don't think anyone is a "traitor"for choosing that option.
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Old 02-24-2007, 10:43 AM   #8
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HalfWavyHalfCurly
God, I'm so glad that I'm now immune to the pressures young girls allow themselves to be under with "fashion" and "trends" dictated by somebody else! The way I see it today as an older person is that in reality average people are fine with fitting in all the time (or as I actually call it, being part of "the herd"...) but it takes a stronger personality to decide to be an individual rather despite of what everyone else may think.
are we ever really old enough to be "immune" to the pressures of our culture? Can we ever escape the fashion and trends dictated by someone else?

Unless you make your own clothes, your own beauty products, and are completely self-sufficient, I don't think so.
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Old 02-24-2007, 11:08 AM   #9
 
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I've never straightened so I can't really relate to missing it. The few times I did I felt weird. I feel like I look better with my curls!

I have a very lively, outgoing personality and I feel like my curls are an extension of my free spiritedness. Try to look at it that you are unique over all of your straight haired friends!
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Old 02-24-2007, 11:25 AM   #10
 
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When I have hair straight I look older and completely different.

The last time I went straight I really considered staying that way, but I thought I just looked like everyone else, being that GB is now a GHD obbsessed nation.

I asked everyone which hair they prefered on me and they all said curly.

I have noticed that when it comes to sexiness most guys I know prefer curls, I think they're all bored of straight, and if you feel a bit inferior when your out clubbing, I can understand why but I reckon every straighty is jelous of your curls.
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Old 02-24-2007, 06:22 PM   #11
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pitgirl
...but I reckon every straighty is jelous of your curls.
I totally second that!

Be comfortable wearing your hair however YOU want to, straight, curly, etc.
Whatever you feel most comfortable in is what is best for you right now.

If you feel sexier wearing it straight, do so.
If you feel like wearing it curly, ditto. Take it each day at a time!

Trust me, there are days I feel like straightening my hair just to see how long it really is or how I would look, since it's been about 3 years since I've done so.
The only reason I don't straighten sometimes is that I have TONS of hair and I'm too lazy to do so, plus I am too afraid to fry it after finally getting it healthy again, but if you can straighten it go for it.

Do what makes YOU happy!
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Old 02-24-2007, 07:04 PM   #12
 
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I completely understand. I also straightened my hair for the last decade and have only been curly (well, accepting the curls) for about 3 months. When I'm 'dressing up' (which used to be a definite straightening event), I occasionally still have a difficult time accepting the curls. But, I've resisted the hair iron this long, and it gets easier with time. I figure, if nothing else, it makes me look more unique, even on a less-than-perfect-curly day, my hair's less generic than all of the others with straight, swishy hair.
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Old 02-25-2007, 06:32 AM   #13
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HalfWavyHalfCurly
God, I'm so glad that I'm now immune to the pressures young girls allow themselves to be under with "fashion" and "trends" dictated by somebody else! The way I see it today as an older person is that in reality average people are fine with fitting in all the time (or as I actually call it, being part of "the herd"...) but it takes a stronger personality to decide to be an individual rather despite of what everyone else may think.
Again with the pandering. I am not a exactly a spring chicken. I do what makes me happy thankyouverymuch.
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Old 02-25-2007, 11:44 AM   #14
 
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You all talk so much sense!!!

Its crazy - but I think a big thing for me at the moment is that I'm just not used to seeing myself with curls - I've been a dedicated straight girl for such a long time that I almost don't recognise myself now!! Plus I'm a grown woman who is now having to learn from scratch new hair routines, what suits, what doesn't, different styles etc. I feel like I'm back in my early teens again! Its good fun though, and at least I'm not worrying about chunks of hair snapping off from 'straightener abuse'!!! Eeeeekkk!

It is really inspiring to see so many of you who are going through / been through 'curl acceptance!

CT x
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Old 02-25-2007, 11:50 AM   #15
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crystal_tips
It is really inspiring to see so many of you who are going through / been through 'curl acceptance!

CT x
that and I haven't figured out how to straighten my hair! I can't get a round brush though it!
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Old 02-25-2007, 11:56 AM   #16
 
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Quote:
Plus I'm a grown woman who is now having to learn from scratch new hair routines, what suits, what doesn't, different styles etc. I feel like I'm back in my early teens again!
Aaaah I feel exactly the same! I wish I had accepted the curl way back then, so I would perhaps know my hair a little better now!
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Old 02-26-2007, 10:40 AM   #17
 
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I always straightened my hair for big events, trips, etc. Straightening my hair was making it brake off and doing horrible things to it, so I decided to stop and to try to embrace my curls since they will never be striaight.

I recently went on a big trip with girlfriends to a major event. The day I was leaving that ol' crazy straight hair devil started whispering into my ear that perhaps I had made a mistake and should have flat ironed my hair. It was too late to listen to that voice and I'm glad.

On my trip, I actually felt sexier than I ever had with straight hair. I was one of the only girls with curly hair and everyone said how pretty my hair was, including guys. An exboyfriend, who had only ever seen me with straight hair, commented on how amazing I looked. And I did. It just took me a minute to realize that I am prettier with the hair I was born with when I was not trying to force it to be something it is not.

Think of all the straight haired girls who spend their time in front of the mirror before they go out wishing they had some curls and bounce!
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Old 02-26-2007, 10:59 AM   #18
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I can totally relate to the straightness bug. I am trying (again) to wear my hair curly. I can never seem to go more than 10 days without some form of straightening (usually velcro rollers). It doesn't help that when I used the flat iron last week two guys I work with said my hair looked amazing and I should wear it that way all the time. My husband and my daughter prefer the curls, but my son likes it straight. I think my husband put it best: the shape is fine when it's straight, but it just looks it's been through a lot to get there. I think that's because he knows how much damage the straightening is doing. My biggest problem is that I don't want to start from scratch every day (wash, dry, etc.), and I can't seem to get good 2d day hair that doesn't wind up feeling greasy and disgusting. Sigh.

It doesn't help that all the curlies at the Oscars last night had perfectly straight hair (e.g. Nicole Kidman). I don't think any of us will be perfectly comfortable with being curly all the time until the fashion industry acknowledges that curls can be beautiful and professional, etc.. I "came of age" in the 80s, which was a great time for curlies, but now all the images we see of any age group push straightening. I'm not suggesting we return to the age of assymetrical haircuts and sky-high bangs, but I hate that I can't wear my hair curly and put on red lipstick without feeling "retro".
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Old 02-26-2007, 11:15 AM   #19
 
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I feel the complete opposite. When I look back at photos of my hair straight, and even though my hair looked soft and shiney, I also look boring, bland, generic, like every other girl in the street with straightened hair.

But since going curly I feel much more stylish. My curls never look the same every day so I never get bored. the curls work with jeans, or at work, or if I go out on the town. I can't remember seeing anyone out there with the same hairstyle as me. I like see a bunch of curlies in the same place and seeing how different we all are.
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Old 02-26-2007, 11:36 AM   #20
 
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The funny thing is, once I accepted my curls and learned how to properly care for and style them, I would get rave reviews while out in clubs, etc. I was totally blown away the first time it happened - I was washing my hands in the ladies' room and there were a few other women in there who went nuts over my curls, telling me I was "so lucky," and that my hair was "gorgeous." After that, I never thought twice about going out with my hair curly.

That's not to say I never straighten. On the rare low-humidity, winter days we get here, I sometimes do a blow out because I know my curls won't last in cold, dry air. I'm too much of a true gemini to only do my hair one particular way, every single day. Though I do generally avoid flat irons because they make my hair too flat, robbing it of bounce and shine.

My favorite thing about my hair is that I CAN go either way - straight or curly. We're really fortunate, fellow curlies.
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