help me convince my mom :[

i wanna get a cut from a stylist who specializes in curly hair, but my mom has other ideas. i get my hair cut from the same person as her, who has straight hair. it's fine for my mom since she wears her hair straight, but for me...i'd feel better with a curly cut. last time i went, they scrubbed harsh shampoos on my hair, wet cut it, and she didn't know how to style it curly! my hair was a giant pouf! i was so agrivated...but, my mom thinks she's the only one to style curly hair. i wanted to show her the cg book but my mom was like "you can't tell a professional how to cut your hair". i need help convincing her that for once, just once, i can get my hair cut at a curly place. any help?
formerly;; girl anachronism

politics is like me and my buddy going hippo hunting. we shoot a hippo and it falls on us. now, instead of using our joint effort of pushing the hippo off of us, we arue for 5 1/2 years on who's idea it was in the first place to go hippo hunting.
I can totally relate. I get my haircut at the same place as my straightie mom; and brushed, and pooed, and wet cut too... I got to go now!
PW: ihaveafotki
Fotki UPDATED! 12-14-2007
3A-3B layered-longer-than-shoulder-length-not-really-CG
Former Tween Scene Columnist
All I can say is my hair is so much better since getting it cut at a curly place and getting it cut dry. When I got it layered, wet, at any other place it would grow out kind of funny. After a couple of months it would look all straggly and undefined and I would have to get another cut. Getting it cut dry, I can go 4+ months without a cut. It has a great shape and style now. I can't recommend a dry cut enough.

The particular person I go to is a Deva consultant and so she uses all the Deva products on me too which I love.
2b/3a, primarily use Jessicurl and DevaCurl products, Curls Hair Tea conditioner and various gels. I'm modified CG-ish since 5/04.
If a stylist is insulted by you having preferences and suggestions, they're not a stylist you want doing your hair. It'd be a good idea to show her the book and at least see how she takes it.

I'm not sure how best to convince your mom to take you somewhere else. Would it be possible for you to pay for and schedule your own cut with a stylist you choose?
2/f/i, waist length w/ long layers

http://public.fotki.com/thekittenavenger
pwd: hair

~a wave in a sea of curls
If you feel comfortable to, why dont you bring the curly girl book to your stylist? Im sure she can at least look over it. Once she understand why a dry cut is so important for your hair type, she'll try it. This way, both you and your mom get your ways.

If your stylist wont give you or the curly cut the time of day, I suggest saving up your money and paying for a professional curly cut. This is what I did, and after my mom saw what a difference it made, she offered to pay for it next time.

Hope I helped a least a little
and good luck!

2c/3a
Growing out hair to a little above bsl
pw: ringlets
If you feel comfortable to, why dont you bring the curly girl book to your stylist? Im sure she can at least look over it. Once she understand why a dry cut is so important for your hair type, she'll try it. This way, both you and your mom get your ways.

If your stylist wont give you or the curly cut the time of day, I suggest saving up your money and paying for a professional curly cut. This is what I did, and after my mom saw what a difference it made, she offered to pay for it next time.

Hope I helped a least a little
and good luck!

2c/3a
Growing out hair to a little above bsl
pw: ringlets
If you feel comfortable to, why dont you bring the curly girl book to your stylist? Im sure she can at least look over it. Once she understand why a dry cut is so important for your hair type, she'll try it. This way, both you and your mom get your ways.

If your stylist wont give you or the curly cut the time of day, I suggest saving up your money and paying for a professional curly cut. This is what I did, and after my mom saw what a difference it made, she offered to pay for it next time.

Hope I helped a least a little
and good luck!
Originally Posted by unique1193
she thinks that'd i'd be telling her how to cut my hair when she went to school for it. my mom's just so hardheaded
formerly;; girl anachronism

politics is like me and my buddy going hippo hunting. we shoot a hippo and it falls on us. now, instead of using our joint effort of pushing the hippo off of us, we arue for 5 1/2 years on who's idea it was in the first place to go hippo hunting.
Why should your mom care if you share the book with the stylist? You're not telling her she's not a good stylist, you're just getting her opinion/input on something interesting that you're considering. It is absolutely in no way inappropriate.
If she's afraid you'll insult that stylist then she should take you to one she doesn't go to herself to save herself the "embarassment."

I strongly suggest saving up and finding your own stylist.
2/f/i, waist length w/ long layers

http://public.fotki.com/thekittenavenger
pwd: hair

~a wave in a sea of curls
another idea is to call the stylist directly without going thru your mom and asking her if she has heard of the CG system and see how she reacts. you'll be able to tell from her rxn whether she would be openminded or not, and then you can plot your course of action. how old are you? do u drive?
Susan suburban NY
3b going gray, not thick, waist length when wet, a bit below shoulders when dry
CG since 11/11/04
http://public.fotki.com/banjolady/
PW: banjo
HG: suave and honey for co-wash, deva, i use garnier fructis regular CO's or boots pink or white as leave ins and LA looks sport gel. plop w microfiber turban, then curl towel scrunch, then another turban.i sleep with the turban on. little one minute hair styling videos http://www.youtube.com/user/lazycurls
sadly, i am only thirteen, turning fourteen in a month. i like your suggestion, banjocurl, alothough i wouldn't know how to perform it
formerly;; girl anachronism

politics is like me and my buddy going hippo hunting. we shoot a hippo and it falls on us. now, instead of using our joint effort of pushing the hippo off of us, we arue for 5 1/2 years on who's idea it was in the first place to go hippo hunting.
]sadly, i am only thirteen, turning fourteen in a month. i like your suggestion, banjocurl, alothough i wouldn't know how to perform it
Originally Posted by girl[anachronism
ok, so let's do some problem solving. do you know the name or address of the salon and the stylist that you go to get your hair cut? I know that at 13 you are not driving yet so you might not pay such close attention to where you are going. do you live in a large city or small town? if you know the name of the salon you can look up the number in the phone book and call to talk to the stylist. maybe practice with one of your friends if it seems scary to talk to an adult. always be respectful and clear. you can tell her you read the curly girl book and wondered if she's heard of it. don't even mention the no shampoo thing because people think it is gross if they don't know about it. just mention the dry cutting. if she does not listen to you or seem interested, then perhaps you skip this next hair cut and save your money to go to another stylist. do you have a specific curly place in mind in your town? you could also call over there and find out how much it is for a haircut and styling. you could compare prices with the current salon and present it to your mom. do some babysitting and offer to make up the difference in price. My sense is that once your mom sees that you are serious and you've thought it through, and are willing to present a concrete plan which does not cost your mom any more than she is spending now, she might consider it. also if you call the curly stylist and explain the situation, she might agree to talk with your mom on the phone for a few minutes so your mom can see she is not a flake. does mom know you are on this curly board? i'd be happy to have her email me if she needs some adult input. I am WAY old
Susan suburban NY
3b going gray, not thick, waist length when wet, a bit below shoulders when dry
CG since 11/11/04
http://public.fotki.com/banjolady/
PW: banjo
HG: suave and honey for co-wash, deva, i use garnier fructis regular CO's or boots pink or white as leave ins and LA looks sport gel. plop w microfiber turban, then curl towel scrunch, then another turban.i sleep with the turban on. little one minute hair styling videos http://www.youtube.com/user/lazycurls
How ya going with this, GA?

I suppose my first question is going to be if it is realistic for you to get a cut from a curly specialist? I'd like to go see a curly specialist, too, but the closest one I can find is over 150 miles away, and I can't afford to do that trek for a haircut. Do you live in an area that one is close by and you have the address and telephone number information? If not, I think it's going to be next to impossible to convince your mom to take you miles & miles from home to get a haircut.

Assuming you do have the option of a curly stylist, I think there are some things you can do. I think most moms would like nothing better than to hear their teenager talk to them honestly about their feelings.

For one, talk to your mom about how you feel about your hair. I stress the word "feel" because that's how you need to put it. If you go up and tell your mom something like, "I hate my hair. It's always a giant poof ball. I am a freak of nature" or something similar, you mom is going to tell you that your hair is not that bad and that you are beautiful (or something like that).

On the other hand, if you tell you mom something like, "mom, I'm sometimes so frustrated with my hair. It's not like most of my friends' hair, and I sometimes wish I had hair like my friends hair. But I've decided that since I do have curly hair, I'm going to make the best of it and I'm hoping that someone that specializes in curly hair can help me out and show me how to make my hair look the best it can."

To that you mom might reply that Miss [insert hair stylist name] is wonderful and does a good job with hair.

If you then reply with, "OMG, mom! she's awful. I walked out of there looking like a giant poofball last time. She hasn't got a clue how to style my hair curly. YUK!!!" Something like that is going to put your mom on the defensive, and she is going to feel that she has to stick up for this woman, who she must like.

Instead you could try something like, "mom, I felt so self-conscious when I left the salon last time. I didn't care for the way she styled my hair. I think Miss [stylist] does a great job on your hair, but I want to keep my hair curly and not straighten it. I'd like to try something new. It may not work and I might wish I had never went to someone other than Miss [stylist], but I would at least like to try [insert name of curly specialist here] to see if they can help me with my hair."

Then, as Banjo said, have a concrete plan to make up the difference in price (if there is one).

I dunno, this may not work, but I do know it is difficult to argue with someone's feelings. You also need to not be accusatory. No, "mom, you don't understand my hair." Or, "mom, your hair stylist sucks."

I know some of these examples are subtle differences, but it might be worth a try. I'm also not trying to put words in your mouth, but give examples. You need to express what YOU feel. My examples may be no where near to how you feel.

Hope some of this helps.

Frizz Happens!


my Fotki hair journey/experiment diary PW is brio (and I really need to update it!)

3A hair; coloring with henna/indigo since July 2009; normally follow the CG method. Still searching for my HG products!

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