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-   -   this man told me yesterday to dye (http://www.naturallycurly.com/curltalk/general-discussion-about-curly-hair/16547-man-told-me-yesterday-dye.html)

browneyedgirl08 03-02-2007 09:47 AM

this man told me yesterday to dye
 
my hair blonde and keep it straight and that he would date me. I wasn't going to respond, but I wrote back and said, sorry latina's do not look good with blonde hair and i will never go straight for any man especially for you. I blocked him to....HEHEHEHEE

Kasey314 03-02-2007 11:21 AM

UGH!!!! What a jerk! Like YOU would want to date someone like him anyway... ;)

DominicanaHeat 03-02-2007 11:24 AM

You should have told him if he were to change his personality and be a real man than maybe you would date him. :D

browneyedgirl08 03-02-2007 11:29 AM

incredible.....what a jerk.....

MaybeWavy 03-02-2007 12:00 PM

What is it with guys thinking they are so "it" that women would want to change for them?

That's like a potbellied balding guy giving a gal a bad time for not being a size 4.

I mean, WTH?

meriellyn 03-02-2007 06:44 PM

Haha... ah the narcisism of some men. :P "Torture and fry you hair and I'll reward you with my fabulous presence!" *gag*

I briefly dated a guy who saw some old pictures of me with short, straight, blonde or multi-colored hair and from then on kept pressuring me to hack it of and bleach it. Wanted to pay for it and everything. I asked him if he planned to set up a fund to keep it that way in the future because short and blonde requires hundreds monthly. :P
Like that's a good way to start a relationship!

Oregano (formerly babywavy) 03-02-2007 07:22 PM

:shock:

I'm totally disgusted. Seriously, I'm just sitting here w/ my mouth hanging open that he made that statement. Did he think saying that made him more attractive to you?

The sick thing is, I know women who would actually do it. I'm sure he's looking out for that woman who will do anything to please her man. Good thing he didn't come knocking on my door.

Brio 03-03-2007 06:26 AM

Totally off the subject, but your AV gives me that deja vu feeling! I used the exact same one prior to my current AV! Great minds, huh?

I love that shirt. I think I got a bleach spot on mine. :( It totally expressed the feelings for my hair after I went through the "big chop" after a thermal hair straightening disaster. Sorta looked like me, too.

Sounds like this was just a casual relationship with this guy, as you mentioned "blocking" him, so I am asumming you were IM'ing him. You did the right thing by blocking him. The tougher problem is when you are in a committed relationship and value the other person's opinion and want to be pleasing in his/her eyes. How far is a person supposed to go then? It's not so easy to say "forget you" in this instance, because you can't foget this person.

baroness1440 03-03-2007 02:22 PM

Just beyond comprehension what some people will say to you these days. So if he wants a straight haired blonde why even approach a curly haired Latina?

browneyedgirl08 03-03-2007 03:00 PM

I've never met this man, and it wasn't instant messaging. He was responding to my online ad and emailed me. I blocked him so he wouldn't get a hold of me. But I guess the blocking didn't work.

he actually wrote back and said he was kidding you look cute just as you are.

Thanks Brio, I like the avatar too. It's a t-shirt? How cute.

banjocurl 03-03-2007 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brio
The tougher problem is when you are in a committed relationship and value the other person's opinion and want to be pleasing in his/her eyes. How far is a person supposed to go then? It's not so easy to say "forget you" in this instance, because you can't foget this person.

hopefully BEFORE and in order to get to the committed relationship you feel safe and accepted by the other person for who you really are. whatever deal you make when you get together, sometimes it changes as time goes on. if you start off w straightened hair and 10-20 yrs later decide to go curly and your guy does not like it, this is not the end of the world. he will get used to it. people grow and change, and a healthy relationship has room for that. however, let's say you get together and you are a recovered alcoholic who is sober 10 yrs and then relapse 10 yrs later. this is MUCH more serious as the person did not sign on for being a codependent to a drunk, or a fetcher for someone who has gained 100 lbs and cannot move. but curly hair?? come on now :)

redcelticcurls 03-03-2007 08:45 PM

:shock: :shock: :shock:

I've had the occasional man tell me that I'd be hot if I get a tan, or straighten my hair, or lose weight, or whatever.

I usually respond that he'd be hot if he weren't stuck with a 4 inch... well, you know....

Oregano (formerly babywavy) 03-04-2007 06:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banjocurl
Quote:

Originally Posted by Brio
The tougher problem is when you are in a committed relationship and value the other person's opinion and want to be pleasing in his/her eyes. How far is a person supposed to go then? It's not so easy to say "forget you" in this instance, because you can't foget this person.

hopefully BEFORE and in order to get to the committed relationship you feel safe and accepted by the other person for who you really are. whatever deal you make when you get together, sometimes it changes as time goes on. if you start off w straightened hair and 10-20 yrs later decide to go curly and your guy does not like it, this is not the end of the world. he will get used to it. people grow and change, and a healthy relationship has room for that. however, let's say you get together and you are a recovered alcoholic who is sober 10 yrs and then relapse 10 yrs later. this is MUCH more serious as the person did not sign on for being a codependent to a drunk, or a fetcher for someone who has gained 100 lbs and cannot move. but curly hair?? come on now :)


The only thing I know my husband doesn't like is when I cut my hair short. But sometimes I do it anyway, and he doesn't say anything about it.

Does he WANT me to have longer hair? Sure. Would he like me to be thin and in shape? - probably as much as I'd like him to have David Beckhams body - but we love eachother for who we are, and as long as one person isn't letting themselves totally go, we wouldn't complain about something the other person is doing. Other than the occasional - I liked it better this way.

aerohead 03-04-2007 06:22 AM

:shock: hehe :lol:

Brio 03-04-2007 08:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brio
The tougher problem is when you are in a committed relationship and value the other person's opinion and want to be pleasing in his/her eyes. How far is a person supposed to go then? It's not so easy to say "forget you" in this instance, because you can't foget this person.

I'll clarify. First, I mainly brought this up to play devil's advocate. I don't believe you should change to "hold" on to someone. Or change out of fear your SO will leave you. I'm sure there are lots of women and men who do change things for their partner in hopes to keep a relationship going. I'm not just talking about hair, either.

I'm mainly talking about some of those little things we do for others in a relationship because we know it will and want to make the other person happy. I'm sure there's lots of women out here that have had a guy change their shirt before going somewhere because you gave them "the look." Or had a guy cut his hair shorter or grow it longer because of YOUR preference.

I think it's just too easy sometimes to hide behind that "I'll do what I want" attitude, "d*mn what anyone else thinks." While granted, it may be a way to begin a relationship, it's sure no way to keep one going for the long term.

Brio 03-04-2007 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by browneyedgirl08
I've never met this man, and it wasn't instant messaging. He was responding to my online ad and emailed me. I blocked him so he wouldn't get a hold of me. But I guess the blocking didn't work.

he actually wrote back and said he was kidding you look cute just as you are.

Thanks Brio, I like the avatar too. It's a t-shirt? How cute.

Many a truth is spoke in jest. I'd watch this guy.

Yeah, I have a t-shirt with that picture. I think it's actually a sleep shirt, but I wore it out as a t-shirt. I still get a kick out of it.

Brio 03-04-2007 09:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by banjocurl
~snip~ but curly hair?? come on now :)

Why not? I'm not talking to the point that you totally destroy your hair and it's breaking off at the root, but what if your guy liked straight hair? What harm would it be to occasionally straighten for "date night" or whatever. Or to plop on a long, blonde straight wig?

I'm secure enough in myself to know that he loves me for who I am, not my hair or my looks or whatever other superficial criteria we impose upon ourselves.

Personally, I haven't straightened my hair for my S.O. When I had it thermally straightened about 3 years ago, my husband gently tried to talk me out of it, but it was something that I really wanted to do. I can't even figure out how to straighten my hair since I have gone curly!

I have, however, let him influence me with hair color. He has a thing for redheads, and I have played with some red colors, not as carrot-top orange as he would have liked, though! Does it bother me he has a thing for redheads even though I have no red in my natural hair at all? No. Not at all.

CurlyCasey 03-05-2007 05:46 PM

I've dated two guys who told me my hair looked nice when it was straight, but they also liked playing with the curls. One of them has curly hair, too, so he can't be one to talk! I don't think they really meant anything by it, and hey, we're still friends.

If any guy kept telling me I'd look better in a way that I wasn't already looking, I'd think twice about being with him. But seriously, some guys just need to get over themselves! I think guy number two was sensitive about his hair. I kept telling him it was red, but he always insisted on auburn. He's definitely more vain than half of my girl friends.


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