Curly hair when not styled ugly?

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Since I don't wear my hair straight anymore my mum said she prefers my tight waves more than the pin perfect stick straight hair I used to sport. Then I said: "Indeed, it's less time consuming and natural!"
Then she said ''Your real hair looks like the fur of a sheep. I cannot lie to you so I will say it straight to your face: the only hairtype that can look good without putting oil etc... in is straight hair. Period".
When she said that I almost wanted to grab my relaxers again...
Please show me with pictures she was wrong so I can rub it in her face?!?

Last edited by noodly; 06-24-2014 at 10:19 AM.
I think that's a load of crap, simply because a bunch of my straight-haired friends have to put leave-ins and hairspray and stuff in their hair too. So it's not like all straight-hair doesn't need product or anything.

Andrea on Youtube has a video on how she styles her curly hair and though she does use a diffuser, she's not putting any oils / loads of product in and it looks awesome:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-qFyDMEj1Sk

There are a bunch of curly girls who just have naturally very unfrizzy hair and don't need to do much to their locks at all to achieve a great look.
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Allie

Curly type: 3A Botticelli curls. Medium porosity / density.
Pre-poo: Organic Virgin Coconut Oil
Low-poo: Shea Moisture Coconut & Hibiscus Curl & Shine
Conditioner: FiN Raspberry and Cranberry, or FiN Chocolate
D/C: For now it's Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Restorative, mixed with honey & other goodies
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Umberto Giannini Scrunching Jelly

UK curly. CG since October 2013.
Aiming for WL curls (eventually)
I think that is just garbage.

I've been to plenty of sleepovers where I woke up with a head of tousled, wavy hair that I could go outside in and my straight haired friend woke up with it plastered to their skull and had to blow it out or at least hairspray and tease before it looked anywhere near decent.

Everyone is different, everyone has good and bad hair days, and if straight haired girls weren't jealous of curly's they wouldn't spend so much time curling their hair every day LOL.
3A-3B / Medium / High Density / Low Porosity
Modified CG
Low poo: Creme of Nature Argan Oil Moisture & Shine
Conditioner: Curls Unleashed NB
Leave in: Creme of Natura Argan Oil Strengthen & Shine
Styling Product: Curl Keeper/ Curly Solutions gel
I agree that that's a load of crap. I suspect the straight haired folks could have a lot of issues with their hair when it's not styled. My own hair I don't have to do a whole lot with. I've actually been experimenting with a lot of different products and recently made the decision to go back to co-washing and my Biosilk Silk Therapy and leave it at that. Here are some "straighties" who could use a bit of help with their hair. It's not styled (well, actually the picture of the man I got from a "men's hair styles" site so apparently that IS styled) and needs quite a bit of help. The woman in the one picture is actually cutting her hair and it looks great after it's cut and styled but here is the "before":



noodly likes this.


I'm definitely a "curly" 2c. Sometimes curly and sometimes just wavy upper layer with a ringlety under layer. My hair has been thick and coarse since birth. Strawberry blonde in color that can and does change depending on the type and amount of light.


All in all, I'm happy with my hair type but almost for sure think yours is prettier.
Since I don't wear my hair straight anymore my mum said she prefers my tight waves more than the pin perfect stick straight hair I used to sport. Then I said: "Indeed, it's less time consuming and natural!"
Then she said ''Your real hair looks like the fur of a sheep. I cannot lie to you so I will say it straight in your face: the only hairtype that can look good without putting oil etc... in is straight hair. Period".
When she said that I almost wanted to grab my relaxers again...
Please show me with pictures she was wrong so I can rub it in her face?!?
Originally Posted by noodly
I'm sorry that your mother hurt your feelings by making such a comment. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your wearing your gaur in its naturally textured state. That is the hair that God blessed you with. So, I beg you not to let what your mother said get you down. Here on thus site that there are a ton of pictures of natural curlies for you to have your mother to see.. I would definitely click on the word "Photo" listed up top to let your mother see all these amazing pictures of curlies, wearing their hair in all it's natural glory. There are pictures of celebrities that wear their hair natural that you can definitely show your mother. And, on YT, there are so many naturalist as there that have channels that feature tons of videos of them wearing their natural hair in a wonderful variety of ways.

Keep a positive mind, and just continue to enjoy your natural hair, okay.
CurlyDiva71 and noodly like this.
Hairtype-3b curly,semi-thick, very dry hair

Staple Haircare Lines:
Mixed Chicks
It's A 10
Cantu
Suave
Tresemme
Hydroquench Systems
Profectiv
Nubian Heritage
Creme of Nature
Elasta Q
African Pride
Eden Body Works
Aussie
Bobeam
Herbal Essence
I dont get the issue, she said she likes your curly hair better than straight. Thats a compliment on how you style your hair. Whats the problem?
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,073
I don't get what the issue is, really. It must've been her comment about your hair being like sheep's wool...? That kind of contradicted that she liked your hair, idk. But, so what if you need a little oil or whatever on your hair? Most of us need more than that, and we even enjoy putting the stuff on our hair. If my own hair could stand it I'd use more than I do, it's just fun to me, sometimes I just go rinse my hair when it could last another day just so I can try something new or a different combination. I also love to rub oils and lotions on my skin, I always have several different kinds, so taking care of my skin and hair is not remotely a chore for me.

The ONLY thing that bothers me about my hair is how long it takes to dry but then when I was young I spent at least half an hour putting it all in curlers and then nearly an hour under a hood dryer, at least now after I put my LI or gel on and a few clips to lift my roots it's only a matter of waiting and I can always shorten the wait by using a diffuser for a few minutes.
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butter52 complimenting my hair is of course not a problem but making an ignorant statement that only straight hair looks good when you come out straight of the shower......is a problem...I know some curlies like me must put products in it to tame it down but there are enough curlies that look good without doing anything with it just like straight haired people.
My hair looks awesome when I come out of the shower and thus what I do after is to PRESERVE this awesome look. From what I understand what OP's mother says in order to make her hair as silky as it looks she has always to apply something to her hair. As I said my hair looks good the moment I step out, the curliest it can ever be but because of my porosity it would get ruined within 2 hours. My curls are ruined now from wanting to have easy hair on my past. As it was said straight haired girls would face the problem of wearing too flat hair. It's the same from my point of view. It's just different words.

{Stats for mobiles}
M/C, High Porosity,Normal Elast. 2c/3a Boticelli/Corkicelli
2C/3A Botticelli/Corkicelli.Color Treated
M/C, Medium/High Por, Normal Elast. Medium Density
CO: Conditioner with Wheat Protein and Aloe, Tresemme Naturals NM
DET/RO/LI: GNC Avocado And Shea Butter Conditioner
GEL: WELLA New wave gel rock & hold
DT: Gliss Untimate Volume+Coconut Oil

HG
Goal: WL when curly
CG since Feb 2014
My hair looks awesome when I come out of the shower and thus what I do after is to PRESERVE this awesome look. From what I understand what OP's mother says in order to make her hair as silky as it looks she has always to apply something to her hair. As I said my hair looks good the moment I step out, the curliest it can ever be but because of my porosity it would get ruined within 2 hours. My curls are ruined now from wanting to have easy hair on my past. As it was said straight haired girls would face the problem of wearing too flat hair. It's the same from my point of view. It's just different words.

{Stats for mobiles}
M/C, High Porosity,Normal Elast. 2c/3a Boticelli/Corkicelli
Originally Posted by KaZenner1990
That's actually very true, KaZenner. I've had more than one straight-haired friend complain about how their hair just hangs straight down flat and has absolutely no "body". I suspect that most people, regardless of texture, have to do something to make their hair look good. Very few people have hair that's perfect without doing much to it.


I'm definitely a "curly" 2c. Sometimes curly and sometimes just wavy upper layer with a ringlety under layer. My hair has been thick and coarse since birth. Strawberry blonde in color that can and does change depending on the type and amount of light.


All in all, I'm happy with my hair type but almost for sure think yours is prettier.
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,073
Ah, I see now. I know there's a few people who don't need to put anything in their hair, but they are the minority because as KZenner1990 said it doesn't stay that way. I need to put at least a LI on my hair or it'll be flyaway and very likely undefined even after using a RO, I know because that's all I do a day or two before I retouch my "roots".

It would be hard to find photos to show your Mom because those here are of people who do use products on their hair, and let's not speak of celebrities, their stylist use a ton of stuff to make them look good. Hopefully somebody who doesn't use anything might look at this thread and volunteer a picture.
Well, I am one of the people who has to put stuff in my hair. My hair is fine, and it tends to "float away" and look like a big poofball without a bunch of product in it. But I wouldn't have it any other way, because I love to try new products and experiment. If you saw my bathroom closet, you'd understand. I'm a product junkie if there ever was one. I don't know what I'd do with myself if I didn't have my hair to mess with! lol
I don't think there's any shame in having to use products to get "better" hair! And to me, it IS your real hair even with products. No product will make someone's hair do what it can't. I hope that makes sense.
Yeah, my hair looks a little crazy with no product, and it looks much more defined and less frizzy and gets more weight so it doesn't stick up all over with product. But it's STILL my real hair!

Sure, it would be easy to wake up with perfect, straight locks that I just had to run a comb through every morning. But how boring is that?!
CGSince2002 likes this.

3A, a mix of boticelli, corkicelli, and a few s-waves, baby fine, naturally porous, medium/high density

Pre-poo: coconut oil
Co-wash: TJ's Tea Tree Tingle, Sauve Naturals, VO5, As I Am coconut co-wash
Conditioner: TJ's Nourish, Tresseme Naturals, Sauve Naturals coconut, SM Coconut & Hibiscus
LI: KCKT
Styling: DevaCurl Light Defining Gel, HETT Mousse (HG's!)
EcoStyler Krystal (new HG!!!), BRHG
coconut oil or jojoba oil to SOTC
Color treated with demi-permanent color to cover first grays
That's seriously uncool of her to say; I'm sorry you had to hear that. Every straight-haired woman I've met has admitted to coveting my hair, if that tells you anything. When I was a teenager (before I learned to properly care for my curly hair), I always wished for straight hair, but now that I'm older, I love it!
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25, hair type 2C, low-poo, trying to grow hair out after dyeing for years.

Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,073
Well, I am one of the people who has to put stuff in my hair. My hair is fine, and it tends to "float away" and look like a big poofball without a bunch of product in it. But I wouldn't have it any other way, because I love to try new products and experiment. If you saw my bathroom closet, you'd understand. I'm a product junkie if there ever was one. I don't know what I'd do with myself if I didn't have my hair to mess with! lol
I don't think there's any shame in having to use products to get "better" hair! And to me, it IS your real hair even with products. No product will make someone's hair do what it can't. I hope that makes sense.
Yeah, my hair looks a little crazy with no product, and it looks much more defined and less frizzy and gets more weight so it doesn't stick up all over with product. But it's STILL my real hair!

Sure, it would be easy to wake up with perfect, straight locks that I just had to run a comb through every morning. But how boring is that?!
Originally Posted by CurlyDiva71
You seem SO much like me! I went through a bad PJ period visiting beauty supply stores and accumulating mostly conditioners, jars of DTs and moisturizing LI. At one point I realized I wasn't using anything 2x in a row so my hair wasn't always turning out well, on top I realized I had so much stuff I couldn't use it all in 2-3 year so I began giving some away and put myself on a "no-buy" plan until I'd emptied a few bottles and jars. But right now I've taken all the space in my BA and have one big drawer filled with my hair products.

When I was in beauty school I had a puertorrican teacher who had straight hair and she told us straight hair was boring which is why most straight-haired people color it because there's not much you can do with it, some can't even retain curl for long at all or "take" a permanent.

Since then I've realized that like my mother used to say "there's nothing new under the sun", so all trends are "recycled" with maybe just a "twist". Straight hair had it's heyday from the late 90s to kind of recently, but perhaps around 2002 hair "with body" was considered more "in" than stick straight. Fashion has been emphasizing waves for a good while and finally we're heading back to another curly era, which I know will last much longer this time because there's now an entire generation of young people taking pride in their God-given texture.

So PLEASE, be proud of your natural hair with or without products, and stop caring what anybody says, anybody that lives long enough gets to witness the "pendulum" of life swing in both directions, and we ourselves can hasten the change by looking our best and feeling confident with our own hair.
CurlyDiva71, rbb and AngelaE8654 like this.
Well, I am one of the people who has to put stuff in my hair. My hair is fine, and it tends to "float away" and look like a big poofball without a bunch of product in it. But I wouldn't have it any other way, because I love to try new products and experiment. If you saw my bathroom closet, you'd understand. I'm a product junkie if there ever was one. I don't know what I'd do with myself if I didn't have my hair to mess with! lol
I don't think there's any shame in having to use products to get "better" hair! And to me, it IS your real hair even with products. No product will make someone's hair do what it can't. I hope that makes sense.
Yeah, my hair looks a little crazy with no product, and it looks much more defined and less frizzy and gets more weight so it doesn't stick up all over with product. But it's STILL my real hair!

Sure, it would be easy to wake up with perfect, straight locks that I just had to run a comb through every morning. But how boring is that?!
Originally Posted by CurlyDiva71
You seem SO much like me! I went through a bad PJ period visiting beauty supply stores and accumulating mostly conditioners, jars of DTs and moisturizing LI. At one point I realized I wasn't using anything 2x in a row so my hair wasn't always turning out well, on top I realized I had so much stuff I couldn't use it all in 2-3 year so I began giving some away and put myself on a "no-buy" plan until I'd emptied a few bottles and jars. But right now I've taken all the space in my BA and have one big drawer filled with my hair products.

When I was in beauty school I had a puertorrican teacher who had straight hair and she told us straight hair was boring which is why most straight-haired people color it because there's not much you can do with it, some can't even retain curl for long at all or "take" a permanent.

Since then I've realized that like my mother used to say "there's nothing new under the sun", so all trends are "recycled" with maybe just a "twist". Straight hair had it's heyday from the late 90s to kind of recently, but perhaps around 2002 hair "with body" was considered more "in" than stick straight. Fashion has been emphasizing waves for a good while and finally we're heading back to another curly era, which I know will last much longer this time because there's now an entire generation of young people taking pride in their God-given texture.

So PLEASE, be proud of your natural hair with or without products, and stop caring what anybody says, anybody that lives long enough gets to witness the "pendulum" of life swing in both directions, and we ourselves can hasten the change by looking our best and feeling confident with our own hair.
Originally Posted by CGSince2002
You're absolutely right! Couldn't have said it better myself!
CGSince2002 likes this.

3A, a mix of boticelli, corkicelli, and a few s-waves, baby fine, naturally porous, medium/high density

Pre-poo: coconut oil
Co-wash: TJ's Tea Tree Tingle, Sauve Naturals, VO5, As I Am coconut co-wash
Conditioner: TJ's Nourish, Tresseme Naturals, Sauve Naturals coconut, SM Coconut & Hibiscus
LI: KCKT
Styling: DevaCurl Light Defining Gel, HETT Mousse (HG's!)
EcoStyler Krystal (new HG!!!), BRHG
coconut oil or jojoba oil to SOTC
Color treated with demi-permanent color to cover first grays
Honestly, most people I know with straight hair use way more products than I do. They use shine serums, mousse to add volume to their hair, hairspray, etc. I can get away with just leaving conditioner in my hair, but I normally add a bit of flaxseed gel.
3a/3b
Low porosity, high density, medium hair width


Current Products:
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  • Dr. Mercola Revitalizing Conditioner (also as leave-in)
  • Gelatin as a gel + protein treatment
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For second day hair: Pineapple + Plopping


I'm sorry that your mother upset you with her comment. Sometimes mothers say the darndest things. Since she originally said that she liked your waves more it could be that what she meant was more "I prefer waves to straight hair but your hair may look better with some product in it."

My mother has always been amazing at making simple suggestions sound like terrible insults. Like whenever I'd put on what she considered to be too much makeup and instead of saying "I think you look prettier without so much makeup. You really don't need it and it looks a little overdone." she would say something like "I'm ashamed to be seen with you looking like that. People will think you're a prostitute." When I was younger her comments really hurt my feelings and made me very sad. Now that I'm older I realize she meant well she just had TERRIBLE phrasing.

But in the end what matters isn't what she thinks about your hair. What matters is what you think about your hair. Don't change yourself for someone else. You don't need pictures of not-straight haired people without product in their hair. You need to just decide for yourself if your hair looks good (in your own opinion) how it is, or maybe it does need a little oil or something (again, in your own opinion). If you think it looks good without anything just tell her that. "I like my hair the way it is. I think it looks good. If you don't then your opinion is your own and we can agree to disagree."

Nothing looks better on someone than confidence.
2a/3a (I think?), very fine, medium density, low porosity. Protein craving.
Low poo: Nature's Gate Biotin Strengthening Shampoo and L'Oreal's EverSleek Reparative Smoothing Shampoo (Occasionally)
Rinse out/Leave in: TRESemmé Naturals Nourishing Moisture Conditioner
Stylers: EverSleek Sulfate-Free Smoothing System™ Humidity Defying Leave-In Crème (Occasionally), Fructis Style
Curl Scrunch Gel
I'm sorry that your mother upset you with her comment. Sometimes mothers say the darndest things. Since she originally said that she liked your waves more it could be that what she meant was more "I prefer waves to straight hair but your hair may look better with some product in it."

My mother has always been amazing at making simple suggestions sound like terrible insults. Like whenever I'd put on what she considered to be too much makeup and instead of saying "I think you look prettier without so much makeup. You really don't need it and it looks a little overdone." she would say something like "I'm ashamed to be seen with you looking like that. People will think you're a prostitute." When I was younger her comments really hurt my feelings and made me very sad. Now that I'm older I realize she meant well she just had TERRIBLE phrasing.

But in the end what matters isn't what she thinks about your hair. What matters is what you think about your hair. Don't change yourself for someone else. You don't need pictures of not-straight haired people without product in their hair. You need to just decide for yourself if your hair looks good (in your own opinion) how it is, or maybe it does need a little oil or something (again, in your own opinion). If you think it looks good without anything just tell her that. "I like my hair the way it is. I think it looks good. If you don't then your opinion is your own and we can agree to disagree."

Nothing looks better on someone than confidence.
Originally Posted by NamelessElegy
I know I'm late with commenting but thank you so much! You are so righf I think my mum is indeed the same as she said similair things like that (:.
I'm sorry that your mother upset you with her comment. Sometimes mothers say the darndest things. Since she originally said that she liked your waves more it could be that what she meant was more "I prefer waves to straight hair but your hair may look better with some product in it."

My mother has always been amazing at making simple suggestions sound like terrible insults. Like whenever I'd put on what she considered to be too much makeup and instead of saying "I think you look prettier without so much makeup. You really don't need it and it looks a little overdone." she would say something like "I'm ashamed to be seen with you looking like that. People will think you're a prostitute." When I was younger her comments really hurt my feelings and made me very sad. Now that I'm older I realize she meant well she just had TERRIBLE phrasing.

But in the end what matters isn't what she thinks about your hair. What matters is what you think about your hair. Don't change yourself for someone else. You don't need pictures of not-straight haired people without product in their hair. You need to just decide for yourself if your hair looks good (in your own opinion) how it is, or maybe it does need a little oil or something (again, in your own opinion). If you think it looks good without anything just tell her that. "I like my hair the way it is. I think it looks good. If you don't then your opinion is your own and we can agree to disagree."

Nothing looks better on someone than confidence.
Originally Posted by NamelessElegy
I know I'm late with commenting but thank you so much! You are so righf I think my mum is indeed the same as she said similair things like that (:.
Originally Posted by noodly
Oh my goodness! Sorry, I just have to say this re: makeup…. my grandmother said EXACTLY the same thing about my youngest sister wearing makeup and funky earrings ("you look like a prostitute"). I thought my family was the only one! Heh, I guess we're not so original. Sorry that you guys went through similar things, but at least we can commiserate (and also, come to the realization that what someone else says does not matter).
Your MOTHER said this? My brain needed some time to process this.

I do not get the comment about "real hair." Does she think you put on your hair as a wig or something? Omg.

Maybe people aren't aware of this, but most people have to use product in their hair to look nice. Some people need more than others. I do envy the women who can "wash and go" because that's never been my hair. Unless I wanted to look like a fluff ball. People have used products, since the ancient Egyptians and Romans. They used to use animal fats to style and set their hair and it was "real hair." My gosh. Still can't believe your mother said this.

Your hair is fine the way it is. Nothing wrong with using a bit of oil to set it and enhance the texture. There's no need to prove her wrong. It's your hair and you get to dictate how it looks, not her. Does your mom straighten her hair?

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