How does your mom feel about YOUR natural hair?

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my mom called my daughter and i "nappy head" when i first started CG. she has the same hair as us but she straightens it and dyes it blonde. now that my hair is longer and healthier i get nothing but compliments from my family. now my mom, stepmom, aunt and best friend have started to wear their hair natural more often, but none of them have completely transitioned... yet
Originally Posted by SupahH
I am very sorry that you had to endure your mother calling you and your daughter's hair "nappyheaded" during the early part of your CG journey. That is a very hurtful term. And, it should never be used to talk about anybody's hair.

I am glad that you get nothing but compliments from your family now. I am also glad to hear that your mother has started to wear her hair more natural now. As, it appears that she has started to come around a bit. Hopefully, she will soften up more and more as time goes on.

Good luck!
3B natural hair

Current Regimen: Daily Bunning

Products currently using:
Shea Moisture Curl & Shine Shampoo
Shea Moisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil Shampoo
Shea Moisture Curl & Shine Conditioner ( I do use it with steam)
Protein Conditioner- Tresemme Keratin Smooth Conditioner (I do use it with steam.)
Shea Moisture Transtioning Milk
Pre-Poo Treatment- I switch between Regular and Extra Dark JBCO ( The lines I use from are - Jamaican Mango & Lime, Tropic Isle Living, and Sunny Isle)

Last edited by Reservechic; 07-06-2014 at 10:21 AM.
I think I am very lucky to have my mom.

When I went natural and cut off the relaxed hair last year, she said these things

1. Ooo, you look cute with your little afro!

2. Oh, don't undo 'em, they look cute!! (I stopped by her house before going out for a girls night out w/ bantu knots in my hair and was about to take them out)

3. Your hair is growing so quick and big!

[And for some realistic balance so I am not too delusional...
4. Your hair is cute, but it's looking a lil' dry, baby. I gave her the side eye and was like whatevs...but it was actually dry that time...I tried a product mix that wasn't workin' lol ]

In fact, since I went natural (and realized how to DO my hair) almost every single person in my family has given me a compliment. Or, if you're my uncle and cousins at Thanksgiving, stuck their fingers in my hair to feel it (not cool, uncle, not cool!! I think you had cranberry sauce on your fingertips~~~!) because it was "so fluffy."

My father also, who never notices anything I do to my hair unless it's drastic (like mini-twists), exclaimed at a photo of me outside the Lincoln Memorial--"I love your afro!"

Why didn't I go natural sooner?



Last Relaxer: 12/24/2012
Weekly Products I'm Using:
Cherry Lola Treatment
Garnier Fructis Pure Clean Conditioner
Shea Moisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil Leave-In Conditioner
Shea Moisture Curling Gel Soufflé
Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Coconut Oil ♥ Grapeseed Oil ♥ Castor Oil
my hair is normal-ish porosity / dense / fine+medium strands
Score!
You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...ZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
My mum wasn't happy ,l think she just doesn't like the effort and time natural hair needs,my hair is 4c and whenever l did twit outs she would say you need to comb it properly :that's the style mum.
My mum wasn't happy ,l think she just doesn't like the effort and time natural hair needs,my hair is 4c and whenever l did twit outs she would say you need to comb it properly :that's the style mum.
Originally Posted by TakusCurls
That's too bad, but we can chalk up the twist out thing to style preference maybe. My brother has long natural hair himself and yet is confused why I don't "comb" my hair, per se. *smh*



Last Relaxer: 12/24/2012
Weekly Products I'm Using:
Cherry Lola Treatment
Garnier Fructis Pure Clean Conditioner
Shea Moisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil Leave-In Conditioner
Shea Moisture Curling Gel Soufflé
Kinky Curly Curling Custard
Coconut Oil ♥ Grapeseed Oil ♥ Castor Oil
my hair is normal-ish porosity / dense / fine+medium strands
At first my mom was all against it..I started off doing a big chop and now I'm almost 2 years natural with curly 3c hair and my mom is asking me for tips and askin me to come over and do her hair...hahha
I've stopped discussing my hair with my mother, it just doesn't end well. She has always claimed my hair is not curly or wavy at all, it just needs to be brushed more and washed more often, because my hair is disgusting, makes her nauseous and other lovely words. She also claims that a teaspoon of conditioner should be all you need in a wash, that detangling is something easily done with a fine tooth comb and that you should always be using massive amounts of shampoo. Oh, and that all styling products makes the hair icky and disgusting. That she cannot feel or tell I have something in my hair does not matter...

On the other hand, she has stopped saying to me it is not curly the last couple of months, after I came out of the shower, sat in the car and let my hair air dry in front of her eyes during the car trip (no time to do much) and it ended up just as curly as usual. Maybe it means that she is slowly accepting it? Fingers crossed.

(To be fair, she grew up with stick-straight hair so
CG since 8th of September 2013 - learning in progress!

3a/m/iii - waist length wet
Cleanser: Naturelle Volumizing
Conditioner/LI: Garnier Respons Avocadooil and Shea Butter, Schwarzkopf Gliss Ultimate Volume Conditioner
Styling: Eldorado Hairgel Strong
I've stopped discussing my hair with my mother, it just doesn't end well. She has always claimed my hair is not curly or wavy at all, it just needs to be brushed more and washed more often, because my hair is disgusting, makes her nauseous and other lovely words. She also claims that a teaspoon of conditioner should be all you need in a wash, that detangling is something easily done with a fine tooth comb and that you should always be using massive amounts of shampoo. Oh, and that all styling products makes the hair icky and disgusting. That she cannot feel or tell I have something in my hair does not matter...

On the other hand, she has stopped saying to me it is not curly the last couple of months, after I came out of the shower, sat in the car and let my hair air dry in front of her eyes during the car trip (no time to do much) and it ended up just as curly as usual. Maybe it means that she is slowly accepting it? Fingers crossed.

(To be fair, she grew up with stick-straight hair so
Originally Posted by Jimipe
Ouch. Your mom's a bit rough, isn't she? Hopefully her thoughts will change with time and she'll see how gorgeous your hair is.
It's hard for people to understand how much effort goes into curly hair when they've never had it. Here's hoping your mom will educate herself on the steps a curly takes to maximize the health of their hair.
Mix of many types, but I'll say 3B
Fine thickness, medium density, mixed porosity
WL wet
Currently transitioning from heat damage and relaxers

CG since 1/25/2014
Still figuring my hair out
I'm sorry to hear the struggles some of you have gone through. It's true that my hair looked and sometimes looks wild and unruly, and that I do get weird looks from people I know. However when I began to learn to control my hair my mom said she liked seeing the curl again. Cause it dates back to my babyhood. I thought that was kind of neat, because I grew up with her telling me to brush my hair as it dried and brush out those weird lumps that form. She's been programmed for straight hair. Funny thing is she's morphed into a wavy now, though she keeps it too short to tell much. My family has definitely been programmed for straight hair.
My mother is extremely negative & has gone as far as to say my hair is embarrassment. I make it a point to remind her that I got my hair from HER & to keep her opinions to herself. I know she has a lot of self-hate towards her own heritage, so all her negativity doesn't bother me. Besides, she's the one with the problem, not me!
It's hard for my mom to understand CG and curls in general... I get them from my dad's side of the family! Anyway, it's very ambivalent, mixed messages. On the one hand, she tells me constantly how lucky I am to have curl in my hair without perming. On the other, she tells me my hair looks dirty or greasy when I put any product in it whatsoever.

I have always had a "rat's nest" of hair (one of her favorite terms), but when I was younger it only had the slightest wave. Then hormones got involved. She used to suggest putting it in a ponytail because the tension would at least pull it "kind of straight".

And until she read it in a random beauty magazine, she didn't believe that the CG method was a Thing, and just assumed it was some untested craziness I found on the Internet. She used to tell me that it was "disgusting" to only wash once a week and never use shampoo... now that Cosmo or Vogue or whatever suggests it, though, she's at least on board. :P
2c. present color& past heat damage, fine, low-density, high porosity, happy with some protein. re-CG as of 5/2014. Wash:V05 PFS or KLS, RO: (trying to use up my stash; so it's always different!), LI: Cure Care, DT: SM Smooth & Repair Hair Masque, Style: Ecostyler Olive Oil / La Bella Lots of Curls gel

Last edited by geekrockgirl85; 07-12-2014 at 02:14 PM.
My mother is extremely negative & has gone as far as to say my hair is embarrassment. I make it a point to remind her that I got my hair from HER & to keep her opinions to herself. I know she has a lot of self-hate towards her own heritage, so all her negativity doesn't bother me. Besides, she's the one with the problem, not me!
Originally Posted by Daheep
Iam sorry that your mother feels negatively towards your wearing your hair naturally curly. If she never ends up embracing your natural hair, i wouldn't let it bother you anymore. As long as you love and embrace your natural hair, then that is all that really matters.
3B natural hair

Current Regimen: Daily Bunning

Products currently using:
Shea Moisture Curl & Shine Shampoo
Shea Moisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil Shampoo
Shea Moisture Curl & Shine Conditioner ( I do use it with steam)
Protein Conditioner- Tresemme Keratin Smooth Conditioner (I do use it with steam.)
Shea Moisture Transtioning Milk
Pre-Poo Treatment- I switch between Regular and Extra Dark JBCO ( The lines I use from are - Jamaican Mango & Lime, Tropic Isle Living, and Sunny Isle)
My mother is extremely negative & has gone as far as to say my hair is embarrassment. I make it a point to remind her that I got my hair from HER & to keep her opinions to herself. I know she has a lot of self-hate towards her own heritage, so all her negativity doesn't bother me. Besides, she's the one with the problem, not me!
Originally Posted by Daheep
Iam sorry that your mother feels negatively towards your wearing your hair naturally curly. If she never ends up embracing your natural hair, i wouldn't let it bother you anymore. As long as you love and embrace your natural hair, then that is all that really matters.
Originally Posted by Reservechic
Thing is I have yet to see a woman who transitioned to natural hair who I did not think looked amazing. It's so sad mom's are so negative about hair
Thanks for the support, but it really doesn't bother me! My mother is off the boat Dominican & comes from a generation where the 'whiter' you are, the 'better' you are. She's set in her ways & refuses to acknowledge that she has African ancestors somewhere along her bloodline (the hair & skintone came from somewhere!). In the end, it's her loss. She'll go about relaxing & roller setting her hair twice a week until the day she dies. I get to wash & go!

As the saying goes, 'Haters gonna hate!"
naturecat and Reservechic like this.
@Tripgirl3a are you sure your mum has straight hair?

There are women who cut their hair short who if they miss a regular cut you can tell as their hair grows they have some sort of curl.
Originally Posted by Blueblood
As far as I know it's straight. She's always had it short and when it gets wet it's still straight. My dad on the other hand had almost and Afro in high school because his hair was so curly!
My mother LOVES my natural hair! I believe she wants to go natural but she has some eat heat damage. I can't wait until she cuts the damage cut so that she can see how beautiful her hair actually is.
naturecat and Reservechic like this.
Last relaxer: May or June 2007
BC: May 10, 2013
Type: 3b/3c
Hair properties: curly, wavy & fine texture; medium thick to thick density; normal porosity; normal elasticity

Current Loves:
Shampoo: Shea Moisture Black African Soap Deep Cleansing, Shea Moisture Moisture Retention, Carol's Daughter Rosemary Mint Clarifying, Carol's Daughter Black Vanilla
Conditioner: Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque
Leave-In: Design Essentials HCO Leave-In Conditioner and Blow Drying Lotion
I stopped relaxing when I was around 13. (Not a healthy transition though - lots of heat styling). I stopped straightening when I was like 16/17 maybe. My mom didn't mind. She just said it would take more maintenance. Years after that, my mom went natural.because she started coloring her hair while relaxing which resulted in breakage and damage. She doesn't like her natural texture much. She doesn't like the poofiness and has no patience for learning about products and hair properties. So she's experiencing more trial and error than is probably necessary. She says she admires people who are comfortable in their own skin, or hair, in this case. She is lacking in this area. But she hasn't ever discouraged me from being natural. Sometimes she tells me I should straighten it but not permanently, just to switch things up sometimes.
That I spend too much time on washing and detangling my hair . And that I don't have to be that careful with my hair. (but she has short, relaxed hair)
Half-african @ Holland, just waist-length, loose 3b w/ 3c napes, med/high density, kinking hair

Goal: growing out to belly button length

Clarify: YTCar poo
Low poo: Harmonie Familie
Co&RO: Argan Care
LI: YTCar
Sealant: sunflower oil
Protein RO: Schwarzkopf anti-klit Co
Pre-wash: coconut or olive oil

: coconut oil, wash days, dew = 50s, 50-70% humidity
: low dews, rain, loose worn during night outs, benzyl alcohol

Last edited by Fimu; 07-16-2014 at 11:12 AM.

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