whining - can't remember when my hair was this bad!

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I am so frustrated. I can't get my hair to look good - either in curls, or with roller sets. I just had it cut - don't seem to like that either. I need to start from scratch and figure out where I went wrong.

Just needed to vent. In case anyone has any brilliant ideas (or any ideas at all!) my hair is coarse, I dye it, and I'm sort of a messy 2c which has a lone curl here and there trying to be a 3a curl. Groan.

I think I am protein sensitive and the rest is in my siggy. I really need to wear my hair curly during this humidity and probably need a better haircut even though I just got one.

At wit's end...... your friendly curlypearl!

Trying to look at the upside - at least I have hair! My grandma and some aunts lost theirs. I use minoxidil which helps. Happy to have a place to whine.
2/c and some 3A.
Protein sensitive but can use occasionally
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
When I'm feeling really hair-blah I throw on a cute headband, which keeps it out of my face in the heat and does a good job of dressing up my hair and making it look a little more polished when it's being crazy.

Have you tried braiding your hair while damp and letting it dry overnight to try and even out the textures?
curlypearl likes this.
3A-3B / Medium / High Density / Low Porosity
Modified CG
Low poo: Creme of Nature Argan Oil Moisture & Shine
Conditioner: Curls Unleashed NB
Leave in: Creme of Natura Argan Oil Strengthen & Shine
Styling Product: Curl Keeper/ Curly Solutions gel
I'm planning a pretty big chop on mine to get all the old color off, but I keep putting it off because I don't want to not be able to put it up in this heat - and I'm afraid since it's already straighter since I've gotten older that it may be in shock for a while and really not curl well.

If that happened, I'd have to just live with it because I can't use my left shoulder enough these days to be able to roll it or straighten it.

It's a PITA - I certainly empathize, CP!
2C/3A/3B - modified CG - fairly fine now, normal/low porosity/normal elasticity

Current Main Rotation: MG217 medicated or Aim2Health 'poos for scalp, Elucence cond., Spiral Solutions Protein & Deeply Decadent Cond., CJCCCC reg or lite,CJ Pattern Pusha,, Giovanni LA Hold Hair Spritz + lots more, sporadically

HG Method: Super Soaker + Smasters-ing, brief upside down diffusing w/360o diffuser then clips/clamps & air dry. Newly gray - stopped my henna glosses!

www.fotki.com/auntnett
Aspen, I love the idea of braiding (I wore braids all the time as a kid) but my hair isn't long enough! Maybe that's the idea - I should let it grow until I can do braids - but that will take at least a year. Thanks for the input, though. It's a good idea if I can manage to grow it.

Wurly, thanks for your input and sympathy. I guess I need to complain today. What is wrong with your shoulder? Do you have frozen shoulder? I had that. Now THAT was a PITA.

The guy who cut my hair said he thought it is getting straighter in the back. That's part of the problem. Straight pieces in the wrong places and doesn't curl consistently at all! Drat.
2/c and some 3A.
Protein sensitive but can use occasionally
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,073
curlypearl, correct me if I'm wrong, but when we first "connected" it was in the Straightening section over the dryer curling brush that you told me you were using regularly. Even though that method is gentler than using and blow dryer and then a flat iron, it doesn't mean it can be used constantly without any ill effects. And if you were straightening, I wonder if you were using 'cones regularly which can mask the real state of the hair, which could've been drying out the whole time. Thus, switching to "natural" cannot be the solution since dehydrated hair cannot behave well, especially in the hot humid summer weather; it's going to frizz up big time because it's constantly seeking the moisture it doesn't have.

So my suggestion is that you try to correct the lack of moisture with frequent DTs, and don't always use the same one, alternate between brands and types with different ingredients so your hair can have a better chance of getting better nourished.

Last edited by CGSince2002; 07-08-2014 at 03:39 PM.
Yes, that is a big part of the problem. My hair is very dry and lifeless, even with deep treatments. I just have to keep doing that and wait for improvement.

Fortunately, the ends don't seem to be splitting. I just feel frustrated. In the cold, windy weather, my hair looks better if I use a curling brush because the wind blows my curls all to h&&ll. However, now, I am paying the price. I'll try to be more patient with myself. Thanks for responding.
2/c and some 3A.
Protein sensitive but can use occasionally
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 1,073
I know dealing with bad hair days is not easy, but yes, try to be patient, give your hair a lot of TLC and it will eventually respond.
curlypearl likes this.
Hi CP!

You are such a kind-hearted soul and I'm sorry that you are having a hard time with your hair. (((CurlyPearl)))

I noticed in your signature that you mention you are protein sensitive. Having colored, porous hair, protein should be your best friend.

I can deep treat 'til the cows come home but unless I use some protein to temporarily "fill in the holes" of my porous hair, it will loose moisture the very next day.

I have found that along with upping the protein, overnight coconut oil pre-poo treatments have been my saving grace. Coconut oil has been studied to actually penetrate the cortex of the shaft, strength the hair and reducing porosity if left on for longer periods of time.

I've learned more in the last year of being CG than I have in the last 6 years of being a member here. I have learned so much from you guys

If you do facebook at all, I suggest joining the Wavy Hair Community. You will get more of a "scientific approach" as to why things might or might not be working for you.

Good luck!
goobernut likes this.
Upper Michigan Dews
3a ~ Fine ~ High Porosity ~ Normal Density

NoPoo: JC Cleansing Cream
Rinse Outs: SS:PRT, CJ Repair Me, CJ Argan
Detangler: KCKT
Leave-in: CJ Repair me
Stylers: UFDCM, BRHG
Refreshers: Batiste (dry shampoo) on the roots & UFDCM everywhere else

iHerb Discount Code: SAF007

Sheilacurl, what a really warm person you must be IRL! Thank you for the support! In the very begnning of my curl journey when I was totally ignorant I tried coconut oil, but heaven only knows what I was doing to my hair at that point, so based on your response I will try it again as a pre-poo.

The problem with protein is that my hair is coarse, so I think protein makes that even worse. At this point, I'm just going to do lots of dt's (sounds like delirum tremens from drinking too much LOL) and pre-poo and see what happens. Then I will re-introduce protein.

Thank you all for the great support and good ideas. Tonight I will do a DT.

{{{CG, Aspen, Wurly, Sheilacurl}}}
goobernut likes this.
2/c and some 3A.
Protein sensitive but can use occasionally
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
I hate to say it cp, but I can totally relate.
curlypearl likes this.
Aww, I admire you, CP ❤

I'm so sorry! I totally missed the fact that your hair is coarse!
*smacks forehead*

Hmm. How does one treat coarse, color treated hair then? Hopefully some ol' pros weigh in.

I totally know what your talking about with the DT's people get from severe alcohol withdrawal. Scary stuff!

Let us know how your pre-poo goes
Upper Michigan Dews
3a ~ Fine ~ High Porosity ~ Normal Density

NoPoo: JC Cleansing Cream
Rinse Outs: SS:PRT, CJ Repair Me, CJ Argan
Detangler: KCKT
Leave-in: CJ Repair me
Stylers: UFDCM, BRHG
Refreshers: Batiste (dry shampoo) on the roots & UFDCM everywhere else

iHerb Discount Code: SAF007

I have porous, color treated, coarse hair too CP and I have been living in hell. My hair has decided to become Ms. Sensitive again. Every product I try makes it worse and the dew points have had it in a tizzy. My hair has rarely wanted to define over the past few weeks. It just wants to frizz.

I still have to use protein from time to time. I thought I was incredibly protein sensitive for a while but I am not, as long as it is the right protein and I moisturize afterward. I can't go crazy, but it does help.

One thing I have been reading about is using ACV rinses to fill in the gaps and close the hair. It is supposed to be an excellent option for coarse or wiry hair. My hair does love ACV rinses, and you can mix to your liking. *Most info I read said to use it after conditioning and do a cold rinse, but I am still looking at different methods. I would like to try some recipes mixed with different herbs and/or oils.

I am also starting the coconut oil pre poo soon. I want to see how that works. For now I bought some cone free Aveda products. I needed some Brilliant in my life, now rather than later!

(At least I know the wheat protein in it does not bother me. I've used Aveda on and off for over 20 years. The way it is formulated seems to work well when I just use a styling product.)

Hope some of that helped. I'm trying to figure it out myself but I keep being pointed in the coconut and ACV direction.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 07-09-2014 at 12:17 AM.
cp -- i did not realize your hair was coarse. my hair is on the coarse side of medium. i use cj deep fix as dt and usually as my leave in. it has a a small amount of protein in it so that should be enough without being too much. deep fix makes my hair very soft.
if i've been using too many products, i do a low poo, then a dt with deep fix, then leave in deep fix. in these dew points i will also seal with jane carter nourish & shine.
if you haven't tried deep fix, it's quite different from curl rehab, makes your hair very soft. your hair may like it.
[FONT="Arial Narrow"]
3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity
washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
leave in:cj conditioners and treatments as leave in
styling: cj pattern pusha, cj honey butta leave in, cj cccc, cj ciab, lalsg. cj aloe fix gel is my high dews/summer HG!!
sealants - spiral solutions emollience butter, jane carter nourish & shine
Rural - too bad! I totally sympathize. If you come up with any good ideas - post back! Nice to hear from you anyway and happy to see you on the site!

Sheila, I haven't done the pre-poo yet but it's one of the first things I'm going to try. Your post made me feel good. You admire me? Wow! I've had a tough day at work and with crazy hair and that made me feel a lot better. Thank you.

Fifi, I'm so crazy. In the beginning of trying to wear my hair curly, a few years ago I tried an ACV rinse - like 1/2 ACV 1/2 water. Not the right formula! I'm sure you are laughing. My hair came out like a broom. But there is an Aveda store where I work and I can get a free sample of their conditioner. Maybe I can tolerate wheat protein. Yea! Thanks for the tip!

Rbb - I love Curl Junkie Rehab. The best conditioner I've ever used. I'm ordering the Deep Fix NOW. Terrific idea. I was afraid of it because of the protein but since you say it leaves hair soft - that sounds great.

Everyone, I really appreciate the help. I can't remember a time in the last several years when my hair was such a disaster. I actually feel embarrassed when I look in the mirror - like I felt in college when I was teased years ago. I'll post back after I've tried some of the suggestions. Thanks for the support.
ruralcurls likes this.
2/c and some 3A.
Protein sensitive but can use occasionally
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
Sometimes when I am completely baffled I do a diluted sulfate poo and clarify. Maybe invest in some pretty light scarves for those windy days. I inherited a bunch from my friend's grandmother. You can find a lot of good ones on Etsy. Lot's of good youtube vids on how to wear them.
Thanks for chiming in Chupie. I do have pretty scarves, but they are mostly oblongs.

I need to refocus on more important things than my silly hair. I guess I got kind of disappointed because I just had it cut recently and thought that would solve the problem. It's just hair Curlypearl - suck it up!!!

I enjoyed hearing from all of you, anyway!
2/c and some 3A.
Protein sensitive but can use occasionally
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
Half and half?!?!? Nooooooo. I bet you were a a straw broom.

Whine away! I think most of us get it. I know I do. I thought a protein treatment and new cut would solve all my woes but I have a combination of things going on and they are all working against my hair.

I am trying to get back into CG. I will still use a water soluble cone from time to time but I am trying to establish a better routine and stick with it! (And survive adjusting in the summer)

PS- The Aveda products I bought are anti humectants. I got Brilliant Damage Control spray and Brilliant Gel. I have used the gel in the past and it is one of the few gels I like. Both are silicone free. One or both have wheat proteins but they are lower on the list of ingredients. I won't be using them every day, but I had no problems with them in the past.
curlypearl likes this.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??


Last edited by Fifi.G; 07-11-2014 at 01:07 AM.
I had some health issues this Spring and wasn't taking care of my hair as I usually do. IMHO, my hair just didn't look itself. When I was finally able to get my usual haircut/highlight, my stylist of 30+ years sprayed something on it that had a cone (I forgive him, he forgot.) I used coco b when I got home, it just wasn't enough. So, I used Nexus Aloe Rid--the 'poo I keep around just in case (this is the 3rd time I've used it in five years.) My hair came back!

I know you're protein sensitive, so this might not work for you. I live outside of Philly, so have similar weather. There were a few days the air was so thick with humidity, I felt that I had to do "something." I usually don't need a hard hold gel, so this was really unusual for me. I used the Knotty Boy Tightening Gel for Dreadlocks Just a pea sized amount mixed in to my jelly product. It's natural ingredients, but it did make my hair "harder" then usual. However, it looked really good. It's something you may want to try.
3a (Corkicelli), highlighted, fine, low porosity
modified CG, since April '07
CG since 3/11/08

SE PA

HGs: Anything Sevi; Curly Kinks Satin Roots, Curlycue ReNew and Coil Jam; homemade FSG and okra gel; soap bars; UFD Curly Magic (now Hello Curly Curl Stimulater); Botanical Spirits Jellies, CJ Repair Me, Aloe Fix and CCCC
Kathymack, thanks for the input! I might be ordering a few different type samples from you. It is great that you provide that service.

I've ordered a new hair dryer also. I always used the cheapest type; I now ordered a better one which has a cool setting. I think the heat tools are what caused the most damage.
2/c and some 3A.
Protein sensitive but can use occasionally
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Super Soaker
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets - classic glamor but I prefer my curls.
Every day is a gift
My hair is driving me crazy too. This St. Louis weather keeps fluctuating from humid to not humid and it's wreaking havoc on my hair. I also think I got away from my routine and ran out of a few of my staple products, so that could be it too.


3B, fine, normal porosity, high density, medium width and length
Conditioner: Tresemme Naturals, Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle
Co-Wash: As I Am Coconut Co-Wash
Leave in Products: As I Am Leave-In, SM Smoothie/Milk, KCKT, Giovanni Direct Leave-In
Air Dry

Looking for new products and methods to try!



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