Wedding hair - My stylist is a flake

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So, I'm kind of really irritated at my stylist. I've known her since high school, and she's the only one who does exactly what I want to my hair. If she wasn't a great stylist, I probably wouldn't go to her, because her personality isn't exactly the type of person I "like". She has also talked negatively about her staff to me, and even took a phone call once when cutting my hair. I mean, cell phone in hand and cutting my hair for about 15 minutes.

I've been trying to pin her down to make appointments for me for wedding hairstyle trials and for the day of. She gave me this contract and said I could get all of my bridesmaids together and she'd bring in breakfast and do all of our hair. I ended up telling her that wouldn't work with the day, I'm going to be super busy. I'm not sure if it's because she's not going to be making the big bucks off me, but she will not call me to make a gosh darn appointment!! I've been trying for a month. She has "special instructions" when it come to me making appointments, because my hair is so darn thick and curly. My wedding is in June and I'm super busy and want to just get this out of the way. She's been making me stressed. She tends to fill up pretty fast and I want my trial done ASAP so I know what the heck I want to do so I can plan. I've left a message for her at the shop, I've messaged her on fb, and she told me she would call me a couple days ago "in 10 minutes" and I never heard a peep.

Today I called my old stylist and made appointments with her.

What do I say if my stylist eventually calls me? I can't imagine anything nice would come out of my mouth at this point.
2c-3a - med-coarse - normal-high porosity - high density

NP/LP: CJ Daily Fix, KMF Whenever / Giovanni TTTT
RO/LI: Sevi Pumpkin Seed, CJ Argan & Olive Oil, YTBbs
DC/PROTEIN: KC Stellar Strands / CNPF
STYLER: Ouidad Climate Control, SS Firm Hold Gel
COLOR: henna, amla & indigo
: glycerin in high/low dews, polyquats, parabens

Last edited by sixelamy; 03-27-2015 at 10:46 PM.
she isn't returning your calls. why do you have to say anything?

and i agree, the whole thing with breakfast, etc. is too much, it's like it's on her schedule. it's better to have a relaxed day, you have food in the house for whoever, whenever, and that frees up worrying about scheduling.

and 'special instructions' for making appointments???? really, what is that about?

sounds like it's all about her -- it's your day and should be about you.
testimony777 and sixelamy like this.
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3a, some 2c & 3b, medium texture, porosity normal, low elasticity
washing/cowashing, conditioning, protein tx: curl junkie products
leave in:cj conditioners and treatments as leave in
styling: cj pattern pusha, cj honey butta leave in, cj cccc, cj ciab. cj aloe fix gel is my high dews/summer HG!!
sealants - spiral solutions emollience butter,
My first impression is that she doesn't want to do the wedding hair and is blowing you off instead of telling you that. My second impression is that she doesn't much value you as a customer. When my last stylist started taking calls and talking on the phone while cutting my hair, that was pretty much the end. We were on very friendly terms, and I realized that he had just gotten so comfortable with me that he no longer felt the need to be professional around me. I will say that if the cuts had been great, I would have stuck around, but the cuts starting going south around the same time that the professionalism did. And when I left and found a better stylist, he also lost four of my sisters and my BIL.
2C/3A, fine, higher porosity.
If she bothers to return your call then tell her the truth politely and shortly.

Something like this will do:
"Since you didn't return my calls earlier I found someone else to do my hair for my wedding. I am very busy and don't have time to talk. Bye"

Then end the call.

I would also find another stylist permanently. One who if they have to take a call does so rarely, apologises to you, stops cutting your hair and answers the call.
Starmie, rbb, testimony777 and 3 others like this.
One of our close friends decided she wanted to clean houses for a living; she had been a stay-at-home mom for 20+ years. To be nice, we decided to hire her one day a week for our house. Not only did she charge WAY beyond what our local depressed economy would handle, but she also did that "on the phone, working with one hand" thing EVERY time she was here. Couldn't she let her calls go to voicemail for an hour or two while she was at work? Didn't take me long to decide I had had ENOUGH of that (I'm paying through the nose for one-handed work? Seriously??) and we let her go. She hasn't spoken to us since, but I'm not paying $20 an hour in a county with 11% unemployment for someone to talk on the phone while cleaning with one hand. Bleargh.


I'm definitely a "curly" 2c. Sometimes curly and sometimes just wavy upper layer with a ringlety under layer. My hair has been thick and coarse since birth. Strawberry blonde in color that can and does change depending on the type and amount of light.


All in all, I'm happy with my hair type but almost for sure think yours is prettier.
Well, it was a phone call about her grandma in the hospital, so it's a bit understandable. However, you should not schedule a hair cut for when you are expecting that kind of call. I was nervous with every cut. It was a difficult haircut to do, but she pulled it off well even with the phone in hand. I also hates how she has her girls that are in beauty school blow dry and straighten my hair when she takes another client. The last girl held the blow dryer ONTO my hair and pretty much fried it. Then she wanted to take a flat iron to my UNPROTECTED hair. I gave her instructions not to hold it on my hair too long and to put something on my hair. Then she got lectured about not holding it on my hair long enough. I really hope these girls have licenses....

I am definitely going to find a new stylist after this. Too bad for her, because I tip very well for a good hair cut. But she's like the snobbiest of the hair snobs around here. It's really irritating. I doubt she'll ever call me.

Sorry for the rant, people like this make me irate.
2c-3a - med-coarse - normal-high porosity - high density

NP/LP: CJ Daily Fix, KMF Whenever / Giovanni TTTT
RO/LI: Sevi Pumpkin Seed, CJ Argan & Olive Oil, YTBbs
DC/PROTEIN: KC Stellar Strands / CNPF
STYLER: Ouidad Climate Control, SS Firm Hold Gel
COLOR: henna, amla & indigo
: glycerin in high/low dews, polyquats, parabens
uhmmm... arent you been a bit exagerated? I mean ok many things went wrong so just change your stylist, but expect someone to stop working because she is expecting a phone call about her hospitalized grandma... THAT sounds really snobish to me.

And please dont stress so much, its a wedding, its intended to be fun and it will go nicely no matter what, dont worry
Apparently you took what I said wrong. I said it's understandable, but she really needed to schedule around her phone call. It was a scheduled surgery - not anything like an emergency that just happened. I am not a snob, but thank you for calling me that anyway.
2c-3a - med-coarse - normal-high porosity - high density

NP/LP: CJ Daily Fix, KMF Whenever / Giovanni TTTT
RO/LI: Sevi Pumpkin Seed, CJ Argan & Olive Oil, YTBbs
DC/PROTEIN: KC Stellar Strands / CNPF
STYLER: Ouidad Climate Control, SS Firm Hold Gel
COLOR: henna, amla & indigo
: glycerin in high/low dews, polyquats, parabens

Last edited by sixelamy; 03-30-2015 at 01:26 PM.
In any case, she should NOT have been cutting your hair while talking on the phone. I absolutely HATE that "let's work with one hand and talk on the phone with the other" thing. I hate it. Like I stated; my former friend who cleans houses was doing that and then charging FULL PRICE for the work. :P
sixelamy likes this.


I'm definitely a "curly" 2c. Sometimes curly and sometimes just wavy upper layer with a ringlety under layer. My hair has been thick and coarse since birth. Strawberry blonde in color that can and does change depending on the type and amount of light.


All in all, I'm happy with my hair type but almost for sure think yours is prettier.
I agree, it's unprofessional. It would've been better had she stepped away for a bit. My appointment had already taken 2.5 hrs, I probably would've been there for 3 had she done that though.
AngelaE8654 likes this.
2c-3a - med-coarse - normal-high porosity - high density

NP/LP: CJ Daily Fix, KMF Whenever / Giovanni TTTT
RO/LI: Sevi Pumpkin Seed, CJ Argan & Olive Oil, YTBbs
DC/PROTEIN: KC Stellar Strands / CNPF
STYLER: Ouidad Climate Control, SS Firm Hold Gel
COLOR: henna, amla & indigo
: glycerin in high/low dews, polyquats, parabens
I've never had a stylist talk on the phone while doing my hair, if they've ever had to take a phone call they've always been apologetic about it and taken the call away from me, mostly they tend to try and get someone else to deal with the call. I suppose you can't do that if it's a personal call, in which case I would agree and say you maybe shouldn't be doing someone's hair!
I don't think you're being snobby at all.
3b in South Australia.
Thank you Starmie, I appreciate that.

I personally wouldn't want to take a call like that in front of anybody - especially a client.
2c-3a - med-coarse - normal-high porosity - high density

NP/LP: CJ Daily Fix, KMF Whenever / Giovanni TTTT
RO/LI: Sevi Pumpkin Seed, CJ Argan & Olive Oil, YTBbs
DC/PROTEIN: KC Stellar Strands / CNPF
STYLER: Ouidad Climate Control, SS Firm Hold Gel
COLOR: henna, amla & indigo
: glycerin in high/low dews, polyquats, parabens
Omg Amy, I haven't been on her for a few months and now there's a wedding coming up! Congratulations!

I am so sorry for what happened with your stylist though. I agree with what the others said - it's your day and things should go according you your schedule. I would not be happy if my hair stylist would cut my hair with one hand. I mean, I barely let them cut it at all, let alone with one hand. Despite the fact that this was a personal call, she should have stepped away for a few minutes to take the call. That probably would have been more comfortable for both of you.

If she calls - which I doubt, based on what you wrote - you should just tell her how you feel. Quite honestly, you are not obliged to give any justification to her.

I really hope the other stylist can give you the hair you dream of, Amy!
F - LP - HD - NE
Fine, low porosity, high density, normal elasticity
Hairtype 2c

Low poo: Petal Fresh Organics Rosemary & Mint Volumizing Shampoo
Protein: IAGirl's gelatine treatment
Detangler & LI: KCKT
Styling: KCCC

Beauty Is Not a Number
Thanks Laura! Glad to see you back Yes, the wedding is coming up soon, time has flown by.

My stylist actually just called me. First she says, "I don't have the contract in hand, but I want to schedule your appointment." At first I didn't know how to respond to that, because I'm not obligated to sign a contract for all of my bridesmaids for the day, and I had already told her I wasn't doing that. I just said, "Well, the whole contract thing wasn't going to work out for the day, and I've been trying to get ahold of you for a month so I booked an appointment with my old stylist." She said she understood, and I told her I have too many other things going on that I just needed that booked. She sighed and asked again if I had it booked and we said goodbye.

So that's done. I was actually really surprised she called me at all. She probably hates me now, but whatever.
2c-3a - med-coarse - normal-high porosity - high density

NP/LP: CJ Daily Fix, KMF Whenever / Giovanni TTTT
RO/LI: Sevi Pumpkin Seed, CJ Argan & Olive Oil, YTBbs
DC/PROTEIN: KC Stellar Strands / CNPF
STYLER: Ouidad Climate Control, SS Firm Hold Gel
COLOR: henna, amla & indigo
: glycerin in high/low dews, polyquats, parabens
Given that my comment was less than an hour ago, I'm surprised as well. I'm glad though that it's done.

If she hates you now, then that's her problem. Literally, because you didn't do anything wrong. She failed to keep her promises to you. It's not worth worrying about this any more. Think about the big day that's coming up!
Starmie and sixelamy like this.
F - LP - HD - NE
Fine, low porosity, high density, normal elasticity
Hairtype 2c

Low poo: Petal Fresh Organics Rosemary & Mint Volumizing Shampoo
Protein: IAGirl's gelatine treatment
Detangler & LI: KCKT
Styling: KCCC

Beauty Is Not a Number
Yeah, I know. I'm just sensitive to stuff, and hate saying no. Which is probably why she feels she can put me off.

Now I just have to figure out where I am going to get my hair cut at next. I love her cuts, but everything else surrounding the cut leave a lot to be desired.
2c-3a - med-coarse - normal-high porosity - high density

NP/LP: CJ Daily Fix, KMF Whenever / Giovanni TTTT
RO/LI: Sevi Pumpkin Seed, CJ Argan & Olive Oil, YTBbs
DC/PROTEIN: KC Stellar Strands / CNPF
STYLER: Ouidad Climate Control, SS Firm Hold Gel
COLOR: henna, amla & indigo
: glycerin in high/low dews, polyquats, parabens
Thanks Laura! Glad to see you back Yes, the wedding is coming up soon, time has flown by.

My stylist actually just called me. First she says, "I don't have the contract in hand, but I want to schedule your appointment." At first I didn't know how to respond to that, because I'm not obligated to sign a contract for all of my bridesmaids for the day, and I had already told her I wasn't doing that. I just said, "Well, the whole contract thing wasn't going to work out for the day, and I've been trying to get ahold of you for a month so I booked an appointment with my old stylist." She said she understood, and I told her I have too many other things going on that I just needed that booked. She sighed and asked again if I had it booked and we said goodbye.

So that's done. I was actually really surprised she called me at all. She probably hates me now, but whatever.
Originally Posted by sixelamy
Don't feel bad. My former friend won't speak to me now, but I am not paying through the nose for someone to work with one hand and talk on the phone with the other.
sixelamy likes this.


I'm definitely a "curly" 2c. Sometimes curly and sometimes just wavy upper layer with a ringlety under layer. My hair has been thick and coarse since birth. Strawberry blonde in color that can and does change depending on the type and amount of light.


All in all, I'm happy with my hair type but almost for sure think yours is prettier.
Sixelamy, sorry you had to go through this. It stinks when someone else puts you in this position. Ultimately, she's a business owner and it's up to her to get back to clients in a timely and professional way. Since she failed to do so, she should not be surprised that she's not getting this gig. If it was that much of a priority to her she'd have acted differently. Anyone in your position would have done the same thing. Congrats on your upcoming wedding!
Starmie and sixelamy like this.

2B/2C/f/i
Baby fine brown hair, fluctuating porosity (currently low)
No poo: AVG mixed with glycerin, KMF volumizing conditioner
Stylers: AO Mandarin magic, SS CEJ, SS protein, homemade gelatin hair gel Andalou Naturals styling gel, SCE crazy curly FSG (sans PVP), MGA sculpting gel, AO B5 design gel
Treatments: amla, fenugreek, irish moss, aloe vera powder, rosemary and chamomile tea rinse (with marshmallow root and irish moss water), henna, hydrogen peroxide, catnip tea
IA Girl's PT, SS PT
Thanks naturecat!

I think in the end I will be happy with my decision.
naturecat likes this.
2c-3a - med-coarse - normal-high porosity - high density

NP/LP: CJ Daily Fix, KMF Whenever / Giovanni TTTT
RO/LI: Sevi Pumpkin Seed, CJ Argan & Olive Oil, YTBbs
DC/PROTEIN: KC Stellar Strands / CNPF
STYLER: Ouidad Climate Control, SS Firm Hold Gel
COLOR: henna, amla & indigo
: glycerin in high/low dews, polyquats, parabens
I'm glad you were able to speak to her and let her know how you felt about it, it sounds like you handled it well. I hate saying no too, makes me very uncomfortable but sometimes it just has to be done.
3b in South Australia.

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