Thought of straightening hair worries me

Last night I was talking to boyfriend and he suggested that I straighten my hair out for a change. I said "Sure -- if you pay for it." and he said "Sure, I'll do it." Now, I haven't straightened in over 2 years, and when we met, I just started CG so he's only seen me curly and loves my hair. He has seen pictures of me with straight hair and he likes it too. I will admit, my hair looks great straight, you'd never think it's naturally curly when it's straight. But I love my curls, they are ME. Ya know?

Now I'm not worried that one time straightening will ruin my hair...but...

...I'm worried that everyone will love my hair straight to the point where they won't like my curls after that.

My mother has already told me she prefers my hair straightened over curly any time. She's a curly herself but hates curls. So if I go straight she'll be so happy and will be all "See, look how BEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUTIFUL and shiny and soft your hair looks, your hair never looks like that when it's curly! BLAH BALH BLAH! I TOLD YOU SO!"

Then of course there's my coworkers, who love my curls but they all straighten all or most of the time, so they will most likely go gaga over my straight hair.

And of course, my boyfriend...he's never made it a secret that he loves straight, dark hair on a woman. I already told him that not to expect me to do this often because I seriously do not have the time or patience to do this on my own, or the money to go to a salon often to get my hair done. But what if he falls in love with my hair straightened, loves that he can touch it without me spazzing out, can run his fingers through it with ease, and requests that I go straight more often than curly?

I know I'm TOTALLY overreacting but this has had me worried since we spoke about it last night. Now my own opinion is the first one I listen to, and I prefer my hair curly over straight because it's easier for me to manage and I love that my hair never looks the same every day. But you know how people are, they feel once they know you they can voice their opinions about you all they want and push it on you (especially moms!!!). And the people I live/love/work with, are all very opinionated people!

Anyway, I'm just anxious because it's been such a long time since I've done it. I'm a spaz Has anyone of you ladies ever felt this way?
3a/3b thick coarse WL dark brown hair. CG/Mod CG since: 5/4/05. Current products: Right now my hair is in such a tizzy over this winter weather we are hving that nothing really seems to be working. I need a haircut.
I know exactly how you feel. I straigtened my hair a few weeks ago and since I never straighten my hair (it has only been straigtened for prom updos), it was a major change for all my friends, who had never seen me with straight hair.

I get compliments on my curls every so often, but everyone told me how great I looked with straight hair, including the guy I have a crush on. (it was pretty....shiny with body, and half-way down my back) When I went back to being curly again, I was worried that people would think I was less attractive, since they had something else to compare my curly-haired self too. I think it is a pretty silly feeling, but I do understand.
For I know that my Redeemer lives,
And He shall stand at last on the earth;
And after my skin is destroyed, this I know,
That in my flesh I shall see God,
Whom I shall see for myself,
And my eyes shall behold, and not another.
How my heart yearns within me!
(Job 19:25-27)
yep , i had the same reaction at one point ,
so i finally got fet up and purposly made my hair look bad straigthened one day , .. sure it was a bad plan , but it somewhat worked.
make htem go gaga for your curls though ;]
3B CURL!
People probably will go gaga over your straight hair because it's completely different from what you normally look like. When I blew my hair straight everyday, people went gaga the 2-3 days a year I wore it curly. Now that it's curly, they go gaga when it's straight. You can't win! Just remember this is YOUR hair. What the rest of the world thinks takes a backseat to how you feel about it. Don't worry about them and enjoy the change. It's fun to look like someone different every once in a while.
*Poster formerly known as Bailey422*

Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid. ~ George Carlin
Thanks ladies LOL.

Bailey, you have a good point, when I used to blow dry straight every week a few years back, wearing it curly would get reactions like "WOW LOOK AT THOSE CURLS!"

*sigh* Who knows if I'll even go through with it, it would be nice to change my hair after 2 years + curly. And that'll probably be the last time I do it in a longggg time LOL.
3a/3b thick coarse WL dark brown hair. CG/Mod CG since: 5/4/05. Current products: Right now my hair is in such a tizzy over this winter weather we are hving that nothing really seems to be working. I need a haircut.
I can't help you on caring about what people think, but I must say that I absolutley hate it when people take the time to care and make a big deal out of a hair style. There's a very fine line between "I like your hair" and "OMG! Your hair is straight! It looks so pretty!" and implying that it looks way better. I can understand if somebody asked for their opinion, but not as an outburst.
3b-3c CG
I can't help you on caring about what people think, but I must say that I absolutley hate it when people take the time to care and make a big deal out of a hair style. There's a very fine line between "I like your hair" and "OMG! Your hair is straight! It looks so pretty!" and implying that it looks way better. I can understand if somebody asked for their opinion, but not as an outburst.
Originally Posted by Blush
I know, I agree. It's one thing to compliment someone's hair, but when people react like changing your hair style turned you from ugly duckling to beauty queen...it sucks. Especially when it comes from a loved one or someone you spent a lot of time with. They probably think they are being sweet or kind by giving you a genuine reaction like that, but...nah, sometimes that reaction can kick you in the butt.

I think I'm going to hold off on straightening my hair. I've been thinking about darkening my hair color again. I think I rather do that first and foremost.
3a/3b thick coarse WL dark brown hair. CG/Mod CG since: 5/4/05. Current products: Right now my hair is in such a tizzy over this winter weather we are hving that nothing really seems to be working. I need a haircut.
I totally understand how you feel, being Dominican myself I felt the "need" to have straight hair at any cost for many years. I was only "set free" during the '80s when curly hair was in but then later depended on the blow dryer, rollers and "tubi" to keep my hair straight until shortly before I began CG in '02. The first time I went to the D.R. for a visit I had the misfortune to have damaged my hair after lightening it so it would even curl properly so I had to rely on roller sets to look decent but during my next visit the following year my hair was healthy so when I went back the next year with my (healthy) curls my mother and one aunt in particular kept asking me when I was going to straighten it. I had been thinking of doing a roller set just to save myself time (as I could go several days without washing my hair that way) but feeling exactly like you are now, I just couldn't do it. I had embraced my curls as a very important part of who I was so I knew I would feel uncomfortable if everyone preferred my straight hair even when I knew their prejudice was what dictated such preference.

I'm not suggesting that you don't straighten because that's a choice only you should make and I know you wouldn't do it too often because, like most of us, you now prefer to have healthy curls than straw-like straight hair. If you do it and they react the way you expect, just remember what I just wrote.
2A/3A, medium length, layered, colored dark/medium ash blonde - "CGer" since April '02.

"Converting the 'curlskeptics' one curly head at a time..." HWHC
I know totally get that! I only every straighten my hair when I get it cut.I know it looks good straight...but the comments of 'wow, its lovely' , or' you sould straighten it moreoften' get to me because a small part of me thinks 'do they not like it curly'.

I prefer curly hair to straight (on me) any day, but although I don't think people mean anything bad by their comments, it can get me thinking!
Think I'm 3b-ish...maybe some 3a there too...plus wavy roots....I'm just a mixed bag! CG since August '05
I totally understand how you feel, being Dominican myself I felt the "need" to have straight hair at any cost for many years. I was only "set free" during the '80s when curly hair was in but then later depended on the blow dryer, rollers and "tubi" to keep my hair straight until shortly before I began CG in '02. The first time I went to the D.R. for a visit I had the misfortune to have damaged my hair after lightening it so it would even curl properly so I had to rely on roller sets to look decent but during my next visit the following year my hair was healthy so when I went back the next year with my (healthy) curls my mother and one aunt in particular kept asking me when I was going to straighten it. I had been thinking of doing a roller set just to save myself time (as I could go several days without washing my hair that way) but feeling exactly like you are now, I just couldn't do it. I had embraced my curls as a very important part of who I was so I knew I would feel uncomfortable if everyone preferred my straight hair even when I knew their prejudice was what dictated such preference.

I'm not suggesting that you don't straighten because that's a choice only you should make and I know you wouldn't do it too often because, like most of us, you now prefer to have healthy curls than straw-like straight hair. If you do it and they react the way you expect, just remember what I just wrote.
Originally Posted by HalfWavyHalfCurly
Yes! OMG you hit the nail right on the head! Since I was a kid my mom would drag me to the Dominican Salon she got her hair cut so they'd roller set and blow it out. Or she'd do it at home, we owned a bonnet dryer and big ass rolos . And when I became independent and had total control of my hair, I was so used to blowing it out straight that I would get my hair done every week (but I started going to a salon owned by Ecuadorians who didn't do roller sets and my hair still came out just as sleek), with maybe a week of curly every two months or so.

Then I realized that my hair is curly no matter what, so why am I fighting it? And started working with it and even though my hair is not 100% how I want it to be, I'm happy with my curls, they always look different and full of energy and life.

My mother is always asking me if I'm ever going to straighten again. Always "Go to the salon, get your hair done..." and my step mother WORKS at a Dominican Salon so every time I talk to her she's asking when I'm coming over to visit so she can bring her supplies home with her after work and do my hair. I've had coworkers ask me if I'll ever blow it straight, and of course my boyfriend asks me ever few months what I think about blowing it out straight.

I understand what they are all saying, that I should change it up a bit and they think I'll look great with a change in my style, and sometimes I feel that I should get it straightened out just for old times sake...but, at the same time, I don't find anything wrong with my hair as it is, so why mess with a good thing?

I'm still debating it...I *do* need a haircut and I was thinking about going to Devachan but I can't afford a $90 salon visit right now. And if I go in for a wash and set at a salon I'll pay between $20 and $35 bucks...

*shrugs* Why do we curlies put ourselves through so much drama?
3a/3b thick coarse WL dark brown hair. CG/Mod CG since: 5/4/05. Current products: Right now my hair is in such a tizzy over this winter weather we are hving that nothing really seems to be working. I need a haircut.

Trending Topics


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 05:36 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2011 NaturallyCurly.com