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mslaurats 05-26-2007 10:39 AM

I Can't Believe She Said That to Me About My Hair
I was at the library - waiting to get my picture taken for my reader's card, when I sat down for my photo, the "photographer" wrinkled her nose at me and said, "you better look in the mirror, before I take your picture." My first thought was, oh, I must have something nasty sticking in my teeth.
So I look in the mirror, there is nothing in my teeth and I kind of shrug my shoulders. She says to me your hair is sticking up all over the place.

In the moment, I just smiled and said "oh, that is just how my hair grows. It is ok." She looks at me like I am crazy and says, "well, at least I told you."

Meanwhile, I think I look totally fine. She was talking about a few frizzy halo hairs that I will never get to be smooth. I have even learned to like these hairs

I really wish I told her that she was being rude and that it wasn't her place to comment on anybody's appearance.

Please feel free to post rude comments about your hair, what you said, and maybe what you wished you had said.

medusahair 05-26-2007 10:49 AM

I get, do you want to brush your hair? Umm NO it's called curls you freak. Not everyone wants flat hair like YOU.

Did you mean for your hair to look that way? Umm No I wanted blond and curlier but I was born this way, sorry!

I dont' generally say those things, although now and then I do, never mess with my hair when I'm hungry and cranky :lol:

People have weird ideas and they think everyone has the same ideas I guess.

jada1111 05-26-2007 11:53 AM

You know there's a way to say things without being insensitive which this photographer obviously didn't grasp.

A simple: "Would you like to smooth your flyaways down, so they don't get in the way of the picture? It might give you a hollow effect."

Sounds much better than how it was originally presented. Sigh, we still have a long way to go towards curly/coily acceptance. :roll:

curlybrunette5 05-26-2007 12:26 PM

A friend of mine the other day met my sister for the first time. She was commenting on how much we both look alike when I pointed out that I have curly hair while my sister has stick straight hair. My friend looked at me and laughed "Well, you got screwed."

I almost cried. My friend is a cool person but sometimes doesn't think before she speaks and I know this was one of those incidents. But hair was looking really good that night! I haven't been able to get that comment out of my head.

Aries_jb 05-26-2007 12:52 PM

I have thin hair and I'm very sensitive about it. Wearing it as long as I do makes it look thinner, but my face looks better with longer hair. I do what I can but I can't fight genetics, you know?

Anyway, I was having what I thought was a great hair day and my mom compliments my curls, then frowns and goes, "It's SO thin! You need to stop handling it so much or you're going to be bald soon." Then she tries to give me advice on how to make my hair thicker, but she has stick straight hair of normal thickness, so those tips don't work for me.

I've also had two people in my life time touch my hair and exclaim how thin it is with just an amazing amount of shock. It hurts my feelings :cry: . I love my curls and wearing my hair down, but stuff like that makes me put it up so no one will comment on it anymore.

curlinicator 05-26-2007 12:52 PM


Tremfan 05-26-2007 01:12 PM

Some people and their comments!
I once had a Mom at my daughters school carnival ask me if anyone has ever told me I am too old to wear my hair so long? I said "No, why do you ask that?" She replied with "No reason, I have been told that in the past and now have short hair as you can see" I just kind of chuckled, but I took it as an slight insult really.
I do not consider 39 to be old! And my hair isn't down to the floor or anything just about bra strap length.

I have also had the don't you comb out your hair comments numerous times, I guess I would comb/brush it out if I wanted the cotton candy look.

kiniha 05-26-2007 01:31 PM

similar photo experience
I've had a similar experience when getting my photo taken at the DMV. But what I really want to say is--thanks for starting such a great thread!

I think we've all had those moments when people are too much in their own heads to realize they're insulting us/hurting our feelings . . . After I spend time being angry and indignant, I like to think that it really reflects their own weird hang-ups. I then think, 'Thank goodness I'm not so hung up on perfect/thick/straight/ hair, etc.'

Suburbanbushbabe 05-26-2007 02:03 PM

What is it about curly hair that lets some people think they can be as b--chy or beasty as they want?

kcc 05-26-2007 02:12 PM

Oh this is a great thread! I've been told lately that I'm getting too old to wear my hair curly. And I'm in my 20s. :roll:

Charming Notion 05-27-2007 09:24 AM

ugh, i can totally relate. today even! i thought i was having a great hair day with lots of volume and great curl formation/defintion. my mom [who had very short hair that she heat styles everyday :roll:] started running her fingers through it saying it looked "messy" and a "rat's nest" UGH!!!! she acts like she knows everything about curly hair and i'm absolutely clueless! uh, i know when i'm having a bad hair day, mom!!!

CurlyJoviFan 05-27-2007 09:31 AM

That's awful and VERY rude. I don't know if it's just a different perception over here, but in Britain curly hair seems to get different reactions.

I have never had anyone say anything like that to me. In fact, I used to straighten my hair but stopped doing that daily when I was around 16/17. As soon as I did, the attention I got from boys quadroupled and my confidence grew. I had people in shops telling me how lovely it was and still get people telling me how lucky I am to have natural curls.

Even though I don't have the hair I did at that age, It's still curly and I occasionally get good comments - I have never had bad ones and honestly don't know if I'd have an answer. It would probably be one of those situations where I would walk away wishing I had said something but hadn't.

Do you think that in America it's looked upon differently?

alysania 05-27-2007 11:52 AM

Wow.. I think the only comments I've had on my hair have been positive. It happens all the time - strangers standing in line behind me always feel the need to pipe up and ask if my hair is naturally curly and then mention how lovely it is and how jealous they are. If they only knew the struggles involved!

sarasara 05-27-2007 07:47 PM

From all the weird hairstyles people have done and seen,from all he spiky,blue,purple,pink,orange hair people have done,people are still commenting on curly hair?

Aries_jb 05-27-2007 07:54 PM


Originally Posted by sarasara
From all the weird hairstyles people have done and seen,from all he spiky,blue,purple,pink,orange hair people have done,people are still commenting on curly hair?

You make a good point. I never thought about it like that before.

keikok 05-27-2007 11:25 PM

Its a fact that more than half of the population has curly/wavy hair. It's just a fact of life and I wish people would get over it.

Elithia 05-28-2007 01:44 AM

When I went curly, everyone thought I'd gotten a perm. After a certain point everyone I knew had seen it and knew it was natural. Then I started getting: "What do you do differently?" At which point I'd have to explain about CG and they'd get a weird look on their faces and drop the subject.

I have gotten one or two "Your hair's frizzy today"s, but most of the people I've talked to have been complimentary. It's really a confidence booster. I've been in China the last 4 months, and here everyone (with naturally straight hair) is getting perms - I actually had someone ask "How much did it cost to get your hair done?" :P

It helps, though, that I'm living with my half-AfricanAmerican cousin, who doesn't shampoo or brush either and so we play with conditioners and techniques together - although her hair is much curlier than mine, it helps to talk to someone else with curls (my mom's stick straight).

sylvia 05-28-2007 01:50 AM

That is incredible rude.
I had a coworker ask me if my curls are "real", and then say it must be a pain in the "behind" to fix them and I must hate messing with them. All the while she was flatironing her already straight hair, while all I had to do was hang my head upside down and "fluff" a little.
Now, I would have about ten comeback remarks, but at that moment I just stood there looking not very smart.

( I am finally back, forgot I changed my name and had login problems )

Botticelli Venus 06-01-2007 08:30 PM

Some people are just plain rude! All I can say is y'all must have amazing curls to stir up so much ENVY and CURIOUSITY. :lol:

curladvocate 06-01-2007 08:57 PM

awe them with your confidence and this will be less and less of an issue. if someone comments again to you, look at them like you don't know what they are talking about. let them question themselves for having said anything at all. make the ***** wish she had curly hair.

it's kind of like that scene in Jawbreakers? (movie) where one girl tries to sabotage another girl by shredding her top in the locker room, the "victim" unperturbed wears the shirt with such confidence and the next day all the girls are wearing their shirts ripped.

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