It's as much process as products. Keep in mind every head of hair is different, but these are the processes and products I've had success with. If you have been using products that contain silicones, a lot of waxes, drying alcohols, or mineral oil/paraffinum, do a clarifying shampoo, and deep condition before you start any of this --
Define texture and moisturize - deep treatments and frequent condition washing will help do this, and help eliminate frizz. The more equal the moisture content in your hair is to the moisture in the air, the less it will pull moisture from the air and frizz up. With enough moisture in your hair, stylers will start to work much better. Condition as a deep treatment, condition to cleanse, condition to detangle, use a light leave-in conditioner. Occasional shampoos with non-sulfate products are fine.
To eliminate frizz when styling, make sure all your strands are coated with product from root to tip (rake in and smooth with fingers). I apply product to my crown bent over and never have a frizz problem up there (I used to).
Avoid combing hair every day/manage better: Only time I comb is when I co-wash or condition. Once you increase the moisture content in your hair with conditioners, try a gel over your leave-in on wash day. See if you can get 2nd day hair from that. Sleeping on a silk charmeuse pillowcase can reduce frizz. And your hair is long enough to "pinapple" (put into a loose scunci/ponytail at the top of your head) to sleep. My hair isn't long but I can do this with 2 pony puffs. In the a.m. I stuff it under a shower cap to shower, then use a few sprays of
Devacurl Set it Free and
Blended Cutie Soft curls & Swirls (or any CG pomade) mixed in my hand, then scrunched into hair. This softens and helps fluff the curl.
Devacurl Set it Free- on line or if there's an Ulta or Trade Secrets near you.
Blended cutie/Blended Beauty - on line (www.sistasplace.biz you can buy samples rather than full sizes)
Overnight Deep treatments: sheabutter/mango butter mixed with almond or extra virgin olive or coconut oil. Do large twists or braids to sleep and co-wash next day. Castor oil mixed with jojoba oil. Sleep in a conditioning cap and non-sulfate shampoo next day.
Oils - at Whole Foods or on line or health store. Jojoba at Trader Joes
1/2 hour Deep treatments (with heatcap): Lustrasilk sheabutter cholesteral. Anita Grant Rhassoul conditoner (with coconut milk); Jessicurl Weekly Deep Treatment.
Both on line
Pre-poo treatment: Mix coconut milk/cheap conditioner/coconut oil/castor oil/honey. Rub into dry dirty hair. Put on a plastic cap and heat cap for 30 minutes. Shampoo and condition. Can use after shampoo, too.
Co-wash conditioners; Many people use Suave Naturals or V05 Moisture Milks, or Trader Joe Nourish, then follow up with a rinse-out conditioner.
Conditioning cleansers - Blended Beauty curl cleansing conditoner; WEN fig. Both of these are very moisturizing & detangling as well as cleansing and you don't need a rinse-out conditioner with them. Go straight to the leave-in.
Rinse-out conditioners: Robert Craig, John Masters Citrus/Neroli detangler (you can use both of these as a leave-in as well) Trader Joe Nourish,
Elucence Moisture Balancing conditioner.
Robert Craig & Elucence on line
John Masters on line or at Whole Foods
TJ Nourish at Trader Joes
Leave-in conditioners: Abba Nourishing, Paul Mitchell The Conditioner (generic & genuine worked equally well for me). My current f avorite is SheaMoisture Sheabutter leave-in combined with pure aloe vera gel. This is a very moisturizing and curl defining leave in and may not require any gel over it. Shealoe butter may be very similar; or sheabutter mixed with flaxseed gel (you have to make this one). CurlyQ
Milkshake (volume reducing, moisturizing, texture enhancing).
SheaMoisture & CurlyQ on-line
Abba Nourishing, Paul Mitchell genuine at beauty stores
Paul Mitchell Generic & Ecostyler at Sally Beauty supply
Aubrey Mandaring Magic at health shops or On-line
LA Looks at the drugsture
Gels: Aubrey Organic Mandarin Magic, John Masters Silk Protein (love them both); I also like
Devacurl Angell. Ecostyler gel is cheap, and volume reducing, as is IC Fantasia Blue. LA Looks Durahold got great reviews too.
Hope this helps. Good luck if you decide to get relaxed.