So I have been on a pretty long curly "stretch" lately, where I don't straighten often b/c i am having too much fun with all the new products I currently have... (and finally having some good luck)
and just when I thought it was looking possibly the best it ever has curly.....my mom could not resist saying it the last time I saw her.... "are you EVER going to wear you hair straight again?" (insert tone of "disgust" here)
her other favorite phrases have been:
"can't you just brush your hair, its a mess..."
"it looks like a rat's nest back there"
"you look like you have shaggy dog hair!"
(wow those are mean)
my dad has also said he likes it better when my hair is "smooth"
(I had straight hair as a kid and it went completely curly - so i guess they were used to that, and then i ALWAYS straightened, for the longest... but in the last 6 years or so i have kept it curly about 70% of the time.
However, I have NEVER worn it curly-natural for a special occasion event.... i have a holiday party coming up and i might do it...!
I'm in the same boat. My mother continually refers to my hair as a mop. But rat's nest/birds nest have also been used. Also, my hair is getting curlier as I get older and I'm currently in the middle of a "curl upgrade" from mostly 3a to 3b and my 2c's at the nape of my neck and front of my head(bang section if I had bangs) are becoming 3a. I've also noticed many random 3c's. Apparently my mom's brother had wavy hair as a kid(like me) and now has 3c all over. So I'm following his lead. They call his hair a brillo pad and are teasing me that I'm really his kid. They are also calling me Jerry-curl(his name is Jerry). I forget some of the other insulting comments from them, mostly because I let them go in one ear and out the other. I like my hair, I don't care if they don't. I haven't straightened my hair once in 5 years! Much to my Husband's complete and total happiness. (he HATES it straight) I gave up on wearing it straight after I had my 3rd child, no time and laziness prevailed.
You're best revenge is to simply love your hair. I feel your pain, don't let it get to you. Your hair is gorgeous!
3B/3A thick, medium texture, dark brown, waist length. Colorado Curly!! Denver area
I so understand what you are going through! My hair too turned curly during puberty. My mom didn't like it at first and always insisted that I straightened. But after seeing me struggle with straightening it, she too agreed that it was time to go curly. She has loved it ever since even though she seems to think that I should brush it (brushing curly hair is a HUGE no-no) and try to control it even though it has a mind of it's own. It takes time to accept change. Your parents just aren't used to you wearing it that way. Keep wearing it the way that you would like. It is your hair. If you mom still keeps saying those things you could show her this site so that she can see correct way on how to style curly hair, but of course don't be rude about it. It hurts when you get put down for any reason, especially over something trivial as your hair. But don't let them get you down. As long as you are happy, that's all that counts. Hopefully they will come around, if not that is their own problem
I actually had the opposite thing with my mom, but I still understand how it feels. At one point in life, I had long straight light blond hair. I spend a small fortune keeping up my color and making sure my hair was straight as a pin. I would come back from the beauty salon feeling like Ms. Beyonce Knowles herself and my mom would say something bad, like how my color was too blond or straight hair just didn't suit me or I was killing my hair. Just once I wanted her to tell me that she thought it looked good, but she never did.
Since this is your natural hair, perhaps gently remind your mom that this is the way you were born and that you are trying to be natural because it's better for your hair. If she's not responsive to that then try to brush it off. If you are happy and you think you look good then that's all that matters. And this board is proof that SOOOO many people in the world LOVE curly hair!!!
Your hair is beautiful.
3B with some 3a. Fell off but am now back on the CG bandwagon and looking for my HG products.
I understand this completely. I TR'd my hair for years, and am just now embracing my curls. Last week I received my first order of Jessicurl products, and I LOVE my waves! I was so happy the first time I used it that I left my hair down (I usually pull it back into a loose ponytail.) My husband asked me, "did you use those new products today?" I was so excited to tell him yes, and ask him what he thought. Well, he said my hair was "big" and "really curly." He didn't like it.
I told my mom (who is also a CG) hubby's reaction, and she said to wear my hair down to work and see what happens. I work in a school and my students are pretty honest about letting me know how I look most of the time, lol!
I had two students tell me they loved my hair, and one that said it made me look like "an old lady" and she liked it better straight. The others have said nothing. One of the secretaries told me that my hair was "gorgeous" and that she was jealous of my curls!
I just wished my husband loved it. When we met, I had a pixie cut because I couldn't manage the curls. He loved my hair that way, so I don't think I could please him either straight or curly as long as it remains long! He's very sweet and has been supportive of me going curly, I just wished he liked it as much as I do.
hey, confused...this past weekend i wore my hair curly to a formal event for the FIRST time in my whole life. my intentions were actually to straighten it, but then i got lazy and thought it'd be fun to try something new. well everybody LOVED my curls and i didnt have to work very hard for them. but then i talked to my mom and she was appalled that i wore my hair natural...but then i emailed pics and she admitted that they looked cute lol. just give them time, i know it hurts when people close to you can't accept the natural you, but all that matters is your happiness!
mostly 3b with some 3a and 3c mixed in; super thick and thirsty
~current products: to cleanse: elucence moisturizing shampoo; condition: aussie 3 minute miracle or tresemme mixed with jojoba oil; leave in: suave naturals toasted vanilla; gel: la looks sport gel
~~still looking for my HG
your mom loves you and wants you to look your best. sometimes moms don't know how to be supportive and they criticize in hope of improving their children to be their very best. of course some are downright abusive and nasty but most are not. so just laugh and give mom a hug and say "i love you too", toss your curls with abandon and enjoy your lively and beautiful hair.
my mom had very thin straight hair, so she was in awe of my curls. i am sorry she died before i discovered CG. when i was a kid she was so happy that peanuts introduced frieda (with naturally curly hair). my mom was a character. she never visited a beauty parlor after her wedding day in 1947. she cut her own hair and never colored. this is my mom and i http://good-times.webshots.com/photo...31070292cDWmZq on my wedding day. she did often tho tell me to brush my hair. little did she know. wish she was still around to be a pain in the a.........
Susan suburban NY
3b going gray, not thick, waist length when wet, a bit below shoulders when dry
CG since 11/11/04 http://public.fotki.com/banjolady/
HG: suave and honey for co-wash, deva, i use garnier fructis regular CO's or boots pink or white as leave ins and LA looks sport gel. plop w microfiber turban, then curl towel scrunch, then another turban.i sleep with the turban on. little one minute hair styling videos http://www.youtube.com/user/lazycurls
Your hair looks amazing! I wonder how many of us started off as straightees? My youngest son has 3b curls but he was born a curly. My hair didn't start getting curly until fourth or fifth grade.
Thank you!!!!!! I think I might post about the straight thing....
jussamarie said this.... but I can't figure out how to do multiple quotes....
hey, confused...this past weekend i wore my hair curly to a formal event for the FIRST time in my whole life. my intentions were actually to straighten it, but then i got lazy and thought it'd be fun to try something new.
...To this I say - I am about to do this tonight - FOR THE FIRST TIME AS WELL! I am so excited - I have never done it before. I already got one good comment today and its just so much easier... its my office holiday party. and its so funny - all the other curlies int he office have straightened their hair for today - I think we all do this....