Patience and People-A Hair Moment
People can be impatient and rude towards others at times. The response: such is life, get over it. And we do, but sometimes the experience, based on the person, can leave a scar however tiny it may be. I have learned that to be patient is truly a virtue, especially when interacting with a person who is vulnerable in some way. Here's what I mean:
A dear friend called me and we had a wonderful conversation, as usual! She mentioned that her hair was starting to grow again and she is wearing a weave at the moment. Her hair was a little thin, but it was growing. She appreciated when I tried to help her become natural.
This reminded me of an incident that occurred about four years ago to my friend. The incident happened in a hair salon. She was getting her hair shampooed, conditioned and twisted. Before this, my friend and I had talked about natural hair in prior years; she'd always wanted to do it, but was unsure about the process, feedback from others, etc. I mentioned to her that I would be with her, and that appreciating your 'natural hair' was slowly, but surely becoming popular. I told her that stylists were beginning to care for natural hair, in case she wanted to be pampered one day. She was delighted, decided to take the plunge in becoming natural, and together, we found a stylist.
My friend was asking questions throughout the hair appointment, not many at first. The conversation was pleasant, and the stylist asked about my hair and how I took care of it. She would confirm the information that I told my friend, plus other helpful insights. The stylist, my friend and I were giggling because my friend was a 'newbie' to natural hair, but we all had a good time--so I thought.
When it came to the twisting, my friend began asking more questions. The questions are the same ones that you would ask before and during the process of becoming 'naturally curly.' The question that 'set off' the stylist was (paraphrasing): "How do I handle my hair if it doesn't look the way I expect it to--especially
on special occasions?
While the stylist was twisting my friend's hair, she momentarily stopped, looked at my friend and said, "Well, if you can't come to a professional or research the information on how to handle it yourself, you might as well get it straighten. I've dealt with natural hair for (can't remember the years she said) and when ladies get to this point, they end up straightening their hair anyway. Going natural is just a break for a while from the heat and chemicals, anyway."
It was as if ice-cold water was thrown on a lit candle. There was an awkward silence. My friend had read books that I loaned her about hair, as well as articles online. She also found books in the library. I mentioned that yes, there is information about hair, but it's also helpful if you can talk to someone who has been through the experience as well. A person is another resource. I then began to tell my friend how one can make a potential disaster a new hairstyle. As I started to give my personal example, the stylist cut me off and said, "Well, as a trained professional, you should take my advice."
To make a long story short, my friend paid the lady.
Later in the year, before she moved away, my friend complimented my hair. She immediately mentioned that there is so much to learn about natural hair that she doesn't have the time, so she's just going to straighten it or wear weaves-it's not a big deal.
She was right. The stylist was right--up to a point, and overall, this is just one experience with one stylist. I am just reminded that certain experiences can be a turning point in one's life. In this case, it was my friend deciding not to be naturally curly.
Thanks for reading...moving on.
Last edited by Greatcurls; 04-09-2009 at 10:36 PM.