silicone/sulfate free isn't working

I'm sorry that this is going to be so long, but I want to give you all the information I can. I've always had a problem with my hair being too silky and the curl falling out after a few days of wearing it curly. In the past I used pantene products. The only thing that would bring the bounce back was to straighten it for a few days. I discovered that all the silicone in the pantene products was at least partly to blame for my hair not holding a curl. I switched to using Biotera revitalizing conditioner, suave humectant shampoo, biotera leave-in conditioner, and biotera styling gel. This worked really well for a few days, but my hair ended up getting really dry and weak. I decided that the sulfates in the suave shampoo were to blame, so I switched to Burt's bees baby bee shampoo. That was on Monday. I have been using the Burt's bees and Biotera products all week and straightening. I noticed that my hair didn't feel as dry and really felt stronger, but it was also sortof "waxy" feeling. It started tangling when it was wet which it has never done. I tried to wear it curly today for the first time this week and it had hardly any curl. In frustration I washed my hair again with the suave and conditioned with pantene. Now the curl is back. I know if I did this routine for more than a couple of days though that the curl would once again fall out of my hair. If it helps at all to know this, my hair reminds me of Julia Louis Dreyfus' hair. The curl looks about the same, but it also straightens very well like hers. When it's straightened I've had hairdressers not believe it is naturally curly. Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Oh, one more thing, it like a cider vinegar rinse too. Thanks.
I totally understand the "too silky" to hold a curl. My hair gets super soft but silicones would make it even worse. I found that Komaza HoneyComb treatment 2Xmonth gives my hair body and bounce. Also, instead of co-washing and using Suave, I do water or shikakai tea rinses and my hair is much better. I use good quality, rich conditioners for leave-in, rinse out and DTs.
Type: 3a, fine, thin, low porosity Water/Climate: soft/ marine Washes: water w/washcloth, shikakai, clay Condition: Style:Seamollient, CurlsPFCCP, Miracurl, Gel-les'c, CK; rudeechick's super soaker method; blot, air dry 30 min; diffuse Also: coconut oil

I'll post my routine below - it's in my signature. I've got really fine hair but I have absolute tons of it and I don't have a problem holding a curl. I've not straightened my hair in nearly 3 months and I've got some photos posted.

Its raining today and all my hair is doing is curling more.
TIA,

Morrignu

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