Curl confusion. Help a mom, please.

I have stick straight hair, my daughter has curly hair. when she was younger, her hair was full of tight ringlets with lots of frizz. Over the years, those ringlets became straighter and more frizzy, but I am beginning to realize that might be more related to hair damage than the change in texture. I have been looking into CGing, but does anyone have experience with doing that with a preteen girl who hates people messing with her hair.

I can't really figure out her hair type, I'm thinking 2B or 3A, it was definitely more 3B when she was younger, but not so much any more. Her hair texture is soft. She has fine strands of hair, but a lot of it. Her picture is below, this is after a wash, a brush, and a quick scrunch. The only product used was a spray gel. Sorry it is so dark, but it is the only one I can find right now.





I'm really afraid that I have damaged her hair. She doesn't use conditioner and uses head and shoulders shampoo. Would love some advice. After 11 years, I cannot believe how clueless I still am when it comes to her hair.

Thank you in advance.

-Stacy
Coming from a families of all "straighties" I feel for your daughter. Kudos to you for trying to help and taking the time to do research and realize her hair is different .

First piece of advice I can give is to have her quit using head and shoulders. It's full of sulfates that definitely are damaging to the hair. If she has troubles with dandruff have her try Giovanni Tea Tree Triple Treat, or search the boards for other suggestions.

Secondly, she NEEDS conditioner! I do not know of anyone with curly hair that doesn't use conditioner, and plenty of it for that matter. For starters get her something cheap like Suave or VO5 to use every day. If you have a Sally's near by or Walgreens people love the GVP Conditioning Balm or Bioterra Conditioner.

Hair type will probably change with the health of the hair, and also through puberty and hormonal changes as well. It's not that important. It's more important to find out what her hair likes (moisture, protein, etc) and get it healthy. I would start with moisture, moisture, and then add more moisture in the form of deep conditioning treatments and daily leave-in conditioners.

Oh and if you're committed to switching to a shampoo with no sulfates, you'll have to switch to products with no silicones in them so they won't build up on the hair. Check out the Newbee's and starting CG threads for a TON of information.

Good luck!

3b/c mix; mixture of fine, med. and coarse texture with med-high porosity


Current HG routine: Tresemme Naturals conditioner; AG Fast Food LI; AG Recoil; CJ CIAB = no crunch, lots of body and awesome definition


Dutchess Daydreamer of the Desert Sands in the Order of the Curly Crusaders



http://public.fotki.com/crazycurlz21/
password:rupert
I have one who is fine-haired and wavy. (and one who is fine&curly, one who is coarse&wavy, one who is coarse&straight, LOL. No two the same.)

My suggestions?
Definitely do not use the head&shoulders, it is stripping out the moisture. Shampoo once a week if you like, conditioner only on any other day she gets it wet. Good conditioner if you can afford it, remember she won't need much since she doesn't have as much hair. Wash (or don't), then condition and rinse out, then put a little more conditioner to leave in. The generic version of the Biolage Balm works very well for my fine-haired girl.

The hair stays fluffy and a little flyaway, that's the kind of hair it IS. But there is not frizz or damage and it feels really great. It is brushable, lightly wavy.

As she gets older, your daughter's hair may develop into thicker, curlier hair, or she may be in between curls and straight hair because her hair is becoming like yours, that would make sense too. But conditioner is good for every kind of hair.
2c / C / iii (FIA)
Med-Coarse, LowPorosity, NormalElast (LCLF)

Shoulder-Length now.

Wash: DevaCare Low Poo
Detangle & Rinseout: Walgreens or Sally's Conditioning Balm (always)
Leave-in: DevaCare OneC (budget choice is GFTN)
Style: ReCoil & DevaCare Arc Angel (budget choices are HESMU or Got2BSpikedUp)

Henna!
Hi and welcome to NC. Your concern for your daughter's hair is very endearing. I wouldn't worry that you've damaged her hair. You can take steps now to help get her hair back to normal.

I definitely think you should start CG with her. Since she is a pre-teen I would get her a great smelling conditioner like Suave Naturals coconut or VO5 strawberry and cream and start her on CG. (Girls/teens always want products that smell nice.)

Make sure she washes one last time with the Head & Shoulders. For the co-wash she should gently scrub her scalp using the conditioner for 2-3 minutes, then use some conditioner to gently rub the length of her hair between her palms. Whatever she does, she should never pile her hair on her head to wash ever again! She can detangle with a wide tooth comb starting from the ends and working her way up, and rinse out the co-wash. Then I would use the same conditioner as a leave in. Just tell her to put a nickle - quarter size amount in her palm and rub it through her hair. Then she's done. No need for gel or anything else. If she does want to use gel. Try Herbal Essence Totally Twisted. The Herbal Essence line smells great and is CG. Put the gel into wet hair after the leave-in and she's all set to go. This routine is very low maintenance with as minimal product as possible.

Here after, you will have to make sure she avoids silcone products. If you do prefer to use a silicone free sulfate free shampoo, then make sure she also uses a conditioner.
~belasuna
3a/b, very dry, fine/med-coarse, high porosity
CG since 7/27/09
Bella Curl Products
CW: protein free-cleansing creme
CO: protein free MRcondish
Styler: FSG + protein free LI Elixir, Gellie, Shine & Seal Serum
Lady of Elixir, Keeper of the Secret Blend, in the Order of the Curly Crusaders
I want to commend you for asking for help. Your daughter will appreciate it.
I had to learn how to style my hair by myself. It took years to come to terms and accept my curl. I have a 12yo curly daughter who LOVES her hair and is confident in her beauty.

Put the brush away. Buy a wide tooth comb or pik. Comb/pik gently.

Welcome to the site and feel free to ask questions.

Some great sites-

http://www.wikihow.com/Follow-the-Cu...for-Curly-Hair

http://www.livecurlylivefree.com/ (wonderful site)

http://healthycurls.awardspace.com/index.html (lists Curly Girl friendly products)

BTW, your daughter is beautiful.
Thank you all for such great advice. We are on day 3 of a CG routine. I've been washing her hair until she can figure it out on her own. Our routine is below, please tell me if I am doing it correctly.

DAY 1:
Clarified with Suave clarifying shampoo.
Co-washed with Suave.
Used dime-sized amount as a leave-in (will get something better later on)
Scrunched with tee-shirt.
Sprayed with Fructise spray gel, and air-dried

DAY 2:
Rinsed with water during shower.
Scrunched with tee.
Sprayed with Dream Curls and air dried.

DAY 3:
Co-washed with Suave.
Used dime-sized amount as a leave-in.
Scrunched with tee.
Sprayed with Fructise spray gel and air-dried.

Am I doing this right, or should we use a leave-in, even when she is just rinsing? Should she not get it wet at all? Should I try to diffuse? I've tried that with her hair before, but all I ended up doing was turning it into a giant puff-ball.

Another question, probably stupid, but I also have a curly haired son. We shaved his head at the beginning of Summer since we live in FL - his poor head cooks under the thick curls, but now he is growing them back out. Should I start him on a CG routine? I only ask because I was wondering if it was still just as important with short hair.

Thanks again everyone, I am so happy to have found this website. The only bummer is that after i have figured out the best way to take care of my curly kids' hair, once my 18 month old hair grows out, I will have to relearn how to take care of her hair - it looks like she will be a straighty like me, lol.
BTW, your daughter is beautiful.
Thank you, I passed the compliment on to her and she smiled.
I use a leave-in every time I get my hair wet, but that's what works for me.
Part of going CG is understanding the basic concepts - no silicones and no sulfates and no to minimal heat. Apart from that, it's about experimenting with what will work for your daughters hair type. When I first started out I got some samples of more expensive things from the Swap board, and tried cheap options from drugstores and Target until I figured out what my hair likes and dislikes.
Also keep in mind that there is a "transition" phase that many curlies go through when going CG. Mine was almost 4 weeks of drab flat curls, until they sprung to life one day. Stick with it.

As for your son, I have a curly 5 year old boy who also sweats like the dickens under his curls in the summer. When they're long, I wash them with Giovanni Smooth as Silk (same low poo I use) about once a week and otherwise use a spray bottle with conditioner and water to detangle.

3b/c mix; mixture of fine, med. and coarse texture with med-high porosity


Current HG routine: Tresemme Naturals conditioner; AG Fast Food LI; AG Recoil; CJ CIAB = no crunch, lots of body and awesome definition


Dutchess Daydreamer of the Desert Sands in the Order of the Curly Crusaders



http://public.fotki.com/crazycurlz21/
password:rupert
Just my opinion below in the red:

Thank you all for such great advice. We are on day 3 of a CG routine. I've been washing her hair until she can figure it out on her own. Our routine is below, please tell me if I am doing it correctly.

DAY 1:
Clarified with Suave clarifying shampoo.
Co-washed with Suave.
After co-washing you may want to consider a thicker, more moisturizing conditioner as a regular conditioning part of your routine. At this point detangle with fingers, or a pic or wide toothed comb. Leave on for 2-5 minutes and then rinse out.
Used dime-sized amount as a leave-in (will get something better later on)
Scrunched with tee-shirt.
Sprayed with Fructise spray gel, and air-dried

DAY 2:
Rinsed with water during shower.
After water washing you may want to consider a thicker, more moisturizing conditioner as a regular conditioning part of your routine. At this point detangle with fingers, or a pic or wide toothed comb. Leave on for 2-5 minutes and then rinse out. May also want to consider a small bit of leave in.
Scrunched with tee.
Sprayed with Dream Curls and air dried.

DAY 3:
Co-washed with Suave.
After co-washing you may want to consider a thicker, more moisturizing conditioner as a regular conditioning part of your routine. At this point detangle with fingers, or a pic or wide toothed comb. Leave on for 2-5 minutes and then rinse out.
Used dime-sized amount as a leave-in.
Scrunched with tee.
Sprayed with Fructise spray gel and air-dried.

Am I doing this right, or should we use a leave-in, even when she is just rinsing?
I would if her hair is dry.

Should she not get it wet at all? Should I try to diffuse? I've tried that with her hair before, but all I ended up doing was turning it into a giant puff-ball.
It's all trial and error at this point. This may work differently now that she is CG.

Another question, probably stupid, but I also have a curly haired son. We shaved his head at the beginning of Summer since we live in FL - his poor head cooks under the thick curls, but now he is growing them back out. Should I start him on a CG routine? I only ask because I was wondering if it was still just as important with short hair.
I've have shorter hair and CG had done wonders for me.


Thanks again everyone, I am so happy to have found this website. The only bummer is that after i have figured out the best way to take care of my curly kids' hair, once my 18 month old hair grows out, I will have to relearn how to take care of her hair - it looks like she will be a straighty like me, lol.
Originally Posted by Mom2aCurlyGirl
Very basic hair wiki
http://curlyhairwiki.wetpaint.com/
In depth wikis
http://curlyhair.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page

http://curltalk.net:8080/web/guest/w...9DF7BC9CB6D285


2b/3a medium/coarse semi-porous/iii
White Rain Ocean Mist GVP conditioning balm. Bioterra/LA Looks. Air dry. SOTC w/LOOB..I think its my first HG.
Experimenting with homemade recipes.
First it is great you are doing this! She will thank you later. Mine is sort of thankful now but sometimes just bothered

All the advice is good. Stay away from any silicone's and sulfates. Suave and V05 are pretty good. We also like EO condishes (Marshall's has EO Orange is $9/litre) and Giovanni conditioners. Sally's GVP Conditioning Balm is also good.

When we started we just used Suave Strawberry. My daughters hair is very very dry though--so we ended up using a bit "heavier" condish after about a week.

We now wash her hair about every 4 days. She either co-washes with Giovanni Tea Treat condish or we wash with Healthy Sexy Hair Chocolate Soymilk shampoo (sulfate free). We then rinse and then we put GLOBS of condish in (whatever she wants on that day) and then we very gently comb it out with wide toothed comb. Then we rinse (and then cold rinse quick). With her hair dripping wet we put in leave in--we actually use KBB Hair Nectar (karens body beautiful..more expensive product but smells great and it is awesome for her hair!) and then we use Biotera gel or Herbal Essences Set Me Up gel and then she air dry's. If your daughters hair is at all fly away you might want to shift from spray gel to regular and just help her out with getting it in her hair. We just smooth it in and then a bit of scrunching.

I do CG (or CBoy as my son says!) with my 9yo (and he is special needs Autistic and other issues). He had blond ringlet's as a baby but now prefers it very short--it is so thick it looks like a wig and we do what you do and shave it quite a bit. We use the same shampoo on him and then either Suave Tangerine or Strawberry(he is very picky with scents!) and then I put in some LA Looks Sport Gel. He LOVES it and thinks its cool and his hair is in much better condition. We now only shampoo/wash/condition about every 3 days--he has excema too so this has helped alot! The sulfates were bad on his scalp.

Anyway check out the fotki below you can see my daughters pic's from the beginning (can you say RAT's NEST!!) to now and it just looks great. She's in 7th grade.

Good luck. Feel free to post with more questions--I'm right there with ya
FIA 2c/3aFi

Done experimenting! Loving Spiral Solutions products!

Blog: http://thewavytales.blogspot.com/
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! It is encouraging to see all the changes. I have to admit though, I am feeling a bit discouraged after seeing her hair this morning. I am wondering if it is over conditioned. That is why I haven't been using a heavier conditioner, her hair tends to hold onto it.
Oh and Alexjoujou, does your daughter ever complain about it feeling icky? And how does your son do with the added attention to his hair. My son has sensory issues and HATES his hair being washed. I am wondering if the added time spent on his hair might be a bit too much for him.

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