help...

Hello all. I'm new here and didn't know where to put this. I'm just looking for some tips because I am at my wit's end with my hair. Last night, I had a little break down while my hair was drying. I cut, no not cut, more like "hacked at", the extremely dry parts of my hair due to great curl frustration.
Here's my sad curly story, in a nutshell. I'm biracial, and my hair has always been naturally dry. When I was seven, I went to live with my grandmother from my father's side (who was white). She had no idea how to care for hair like mine so she would brush it and put rollers in it and all the good stuff (sarcasm..of course). Eventually my hair went from nice ringlets to a giant puffy straight-afro that could not be tamed. So for years I was obsessed with straightening. I had it chemically straightened but then the chemicals made my scalp feel like it was burning. I got my poofy hair back. Then, I had it relaxed. And later on, relaxed again. I flat ironed so much that my hair began to break off. It's been 3 years since I last had a relaxer. The last time I used shampoo and products with cones in them was august of 2009. The only product I use now is my v05 conditioner. I have no money and am dependent on my boyfriend so I can't buy anything expensive. I have different curl types in my hair. When dry, the very underneath part is straight. The top of my hair, the canopy, is frizzy dry wavy but very close to straight. Mixed in with the straighter-wavy pieces at the top are bits of wavy and oddly-curled pieces. And on the underneath, above the straight, are the tight coiled curls, mixed in with more oddly curled pieces. I am a mess.
It's so frustrating!

So, if anyone had any tips, tricks, words of advice and encouragement, I would appreciate it so very much!

Steph
Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry you have been at odds with your hair most of your life. I can't even imagine how frustrating that must be. Lets look at the good news.
1. You've come to the right place. NC is full of wise people with curly hair. They can help you with any problem that might arise. I'm certain, with their help, you and your hair will be on speaking terms soon. After that, who knows? Maybe even a love affair?
2. Lets look at the positives of hacking off your dry ends. You won't be spending time trying to figure out how to get them moisturized and back into shape. You'll be starting from today with relatively healthy hair.

The vast majority of people with curly hair need more moisture then VO5 can provide. Garnier Frutic Triple Nutrition is very moisturizing. It is very popular here. There is a big thread discussing it. It runs 3-4$ a bottle, but it seems to go on sale every other week. Keep a look out.
There are tons of inexpensive products you can use for CG. There are also things like olive oil that are in your kitchen you can use. Your hair is different then mine, so I'm not sure what to recommend. I'm sure there will be a ton of other replies that will get your hair moving in the right direction.
I feel certain it will be all uphill from here.
P.S. All but one of the products in my signature are inexpensive.
http://pedaheh.blogspot.com/ (a blog to help new wavies, go to the how do I get started page)
2a (nc.com) 2bFi (Fia), very fine, thin, low/normal elasticity, porous, CG, doesn't get weighed down
Cowash: Tresemme naturals
Rinse out/leave in: Renpure Organics (red)
Curl enhancer: FSG
Gel: BRHG, Salon care aloe, Ecostyler Krystal (normal dews)
PT: ION effective care, IAgirl's gelatin PT
Low Poo: renpure (red), Ion swimmers
Welcome to the boards. I'm sorry your experience with your hair has been such a struggle so far, but like pedaheh said, you're in the right place. You're already on your way by using a cowashing routine with the Vo5. However, VO5 is very very light, and from the sound of it, your hair needs wayyyyy more moisture than what that is packing.

First, add in a rinse out to your routine for extra moisture. The GF Triple Nutrition is well liked, and if you've got a Sally's near you, you can get a 16oz bottle of a conditioner called Generic Value Product Conditioning Balm (a generic knock off of Biolage Conditioning balm that many of us feel is just as good if not better), for about $5.

Second, deep treatments. For what it sounds like you're dealing with, I'd start with twice a week or more. Moisture deep treatments are critical for getting hair to be more manageable and bringing back some of the curl. Curly hair loves moisture because it's naturally drier than straight hair (because the oil from your scalp can't travel down the curl as well as it can with a piece of straight hair). There are a gazillion homemade deep treatments from inexpensive ingredients. There are some that use avocados, bananas, olive oil (love olive oil personally), eggs, honey, mayo, and just about anything else you can think of. My personal favorite right now:

2 tablespoons of olive oil
2 tablespoons of a thick conditioner (like the conditioning balm I recommended)
1 tablespoon of coconut oil or coconut milk (never used the milk personally, but I believe that by the can it is cheaper) if you've got it

Combine and apply to wet hair and leave on for an extended period of time (I do mine overnight).

Just use the google search at the top right hand corner to search for deep treatment or homemade deep treatment for more recipes and ideas. There are plenty.

I think that's enough for now. The important thing for now is getting moisture in there, and protein if you can handle it (coconut stuff has protein, eggs have protein, etc etc). Some people with coarse hair find that they don't handle protein well. That's just something you'll have to experiment with though. But protein is good for filling in the holes in your cuticle caused by heat and chemical damage, so it's worth a try.
http://www.dormroomcurly.blogspot.com


www.twitter.com/dormroomcurly

Fine/thin 2c/3a, Low-Medium Porosity, Dry!
Yes. Okay, I'll check that stuff out. I guess v05 is only good for cowash. I'm definitely gonna look into all the stuff the both of you told me about and try to get some of that stuff but I am still open to suggestions!

Thanks! I appreciate it a lot.
I am really sorry to hear about your struggle! You are in the right place for curly hair help. Like the ladies before me, I think the V05 isn't enough for your hair. It's good at cleansing, but not conditioning. The GF Triple Nutrition that the ladies before me mentioned should really help with your dryness. You can also buy coconut oil, which is readily available in most grocery stores with the cooking oils. Coconut oil is a fantastic conditioner, and if used properly shouldn't make your hair feel greasy. It's also really affordable. You can check out LA Looks Sport Gel for some hold, and curl definition, and it's cheap too. You can leave some conditioner in your hair or coconut oil, before applying the gel, and it will help keep your hair moisturized throughout the day. It's also a good idea, if your hair is dry don't cleanse it daily. Water alone can be drying to some hair types especially dry hair. Try cowashing it every other day. If you don't want to buy a deep treatment, or bother with making a homemade one, then just use a good conditioner like GF Triple Nutrition, and leave it in your hair for a while. HTH.
How's My Hair?
Review: L'Oreal Evercreme Cleansing Conditioner
Review: Yes To Carrots Nourishing Shampoo & Pampering Conditioner + 35% off at YTC.com

3a-b, fine & medium texture, medium-high porosity from years of damaging. I'm addicted to changing my hair color.
Cleansing: No-Poo, Elucence MBS, YTC Poo,
Conditioner: One Condition, JC Too Shea!, YTC Condish, Elucence MBC, Joico Daily, KCKT
Styling: KCCC, LALPS, BRHG, Biotera Gel
SMB Photography
The spritz and condish method helps many people get moisture into their hair. Here is the link.

Spritz and Condish Washing for Porous Types+Thirsty Curls Everywhere!
http://pedaheh.blogspot.com/ (a blog to help new wavies, go to the how do I get started page)
2a (nc.com) 2bFi (Fia), very fine, thin, low/normal elasticity, porous, CG, doesn't get weighed down
Cowash: Tresemme naturals
Rinse out/leave in: Renpure Organics (red)
Curl enhancer: FSG
Gel: BRHG, Salon care aloe, Ecostyler Krystal (normal dews)
PT: ION effective care, IAgirl's gelatin PT
Low Poo: renpure (red), Ion swimmers
Some questions. I was hesitant to use oils because I don't shampoo and I read somewhere that using oils when you don't shampoo can be very bad. I'm afraid that if I use oils, they'll build up on my hair. I like to do a baking soda rinse sometimes, would this rinse help with oil build up? Maybe if I save some money, and got a natural shampoo (burt's bees, deva, etc), and used that after an oil treatment, would that work out all right? Also, I don't like to do my hair everyday just because it's a nuisance but if I go somewhere everyday, I have to wet it. My hair can look great one day and I'll do whatever I can to keep it looking decent through the night but my hair always looks like a rat's nest. To get through all those knots and what not, I have to get my hair wet and pull conditioner through my hair. I've tried just putting conditioner on it dry and getting through the tangles that way but my hair still looks stupid. It's like overnight, I lose all the curl. It's like a combination of don king and helena bonham carter in sweeney todd, just more frizz. And when I let my hair go for too long, it get more and more tangled so it's better for me to wet and condish everyday. Maybe when my hair gets longer and more moisturized, I'll be able to do a spray and condish.
I was hesitant to use oils because I don't shampoo and I read somewhere that using oils when you don't shampoo can be very bad. I'm afraid that if I use oils, they'll build up on my hair. I like to do a baking soda rinse sometimes, would this rinse help with oil build up?
Mineral oil and castor oil have the potential for build up. There are some CG people who love castor oil and don't have build up problems. I avoid these just in case. Olive oil doesn't usually build up, but some people ( I think usually wavies) have problems washing it out of their hair. You could test with just a little olive oil and see how it goes. Worst case scenario, you have greasy hair for a week while you are co-washing it out. I've never had an issue washing coconut oil out of my hair with cowashing. Coconut oil and olive oil (and I think avocado oil) are the only oils can make it into the cortex (inside) of your hair and moisturize it. Other oils are useful, they just can't make it into the cortex.
There are several strategies for removing build up. A baking soda scrub followed by a Apple cider vinegar rinse is one of the.
Also, I don't like to do my hair everyday just because it's a nuisance but if I go somewhere everyday, I have to wet it. My hair can look great one day and I'll do whatever I can to keep it looking decent through the night but my hair always looks like a rat's nest.
There are several strategies for second day hair. They include sleeping on a satin pillow case or with a satin cap to avoid tangling. People also do what is called pineappling. The put their hair in a high loose pony tail to sleep at night. Some people also do loose braids. If none of these ideas seems promising, do a search for second day hair. There are lots of threads on this.
Maybe when my hair gets longer and more moisturized, I'll be able to do a spray and condish.
If you are refering to the spritz and condish method. This is a method for washing hair. You can do it at any length. Before you get into the shower you spray your hair with water until damp. Then you add your heavier rinse out conditioner and leave that on your head at least 15 minutes. Step into the shower and cowash your roots. Then rinse. Add your leave in conditioner (I use some of my rinse out conditioner) and style as usual. Many people find they are able to get more moisture into their hair with this method.
There are lots of threads on detangling and knots. I'm not really familiar with this.
http://pedaheh.blogspot.com/ (a blog to help new wavies, go to the how do I get started page)
2a (nc.com) 2bFi (Fia), very fine, thin, low/normal elasticity, porous, CG, doesn't get weighed down
Cowash: Tresemme naturals
Rinse out/leave in: Renpure Organics (red)
Curl enhancer: FSG
Gel: BRHG, Salon care aloe, Ecostyler Krystal (normal dews)
PT: ION effective care, IAgirl's gelatin PT
Low Poo: renpure (red), Ion swimmers
I see now. Thanks pedaheh. Yeah, I usually do pineappling every night but I move around a lot in my sleep and tend to sleep with my head buried in the pillows, so I don't think there's much I can do to keep my hair from getting frizzy at night because when I wake up, almost all of my hair is out of that near perfect bun I made before I went to bed.

Someday...

haha
Here are a few links you might find helpful

There are CG products on the left side of this blog.
http://curlgirljourney.blogspot.com/
You seem familiar with the CG method, but if you are interested Laura Lee (who posted in this link) wrote a great guide for the CG method. It has some info that is not in the CG book.
http://dormroomcurly.blogspot.com/20...ons-table.html
If you read posts over on the 3a forum, you should find lots of good info on your specific hair type.
http://pedaheh.blogspot.com/ (a blog to help new wavies, go to the how do I get started page)
2a (nc.com) 2bFi (Fia), very fine, thin, low/normal elasticity, porous, CG, doesn't get weighed down
Cowash: Tresemme naturals
Rinse out/leave in: Renpure Organics (red)
Curl enhancer: FSG
Gel: BRHG, Salon care aloe, Ecostyler Krystal (normal dews)
PT: ION effective care, IAgirl's gelatin PT
Low Poo: renpure (red), Ion swimmers
haven't been on here in a while. I cut my hair shorter and did a banana (with a tiny bit of olive oil) treatment on my hair and loved it. Pedaheh, I've been to both those blogs. I just have a hard time figuring out things with my hair, so right now I'm just focusing on one thing at a time, right now I'm just gonna gonna focus on moisture thanks to everyone replies and that's going well right now. Also, I don't think I'm a 3a. From what I've read on here about hair types, that's not mine. I think I have some 3a but my natural hair type is more 3b. Although right now, thanks to relaxer still in my hair, that's not the only type.
To the OP:

Please, please keep your head up and know that you are not alone. I think that the advice you have been given in this thread is great, but I would like to suggest that you go to the thread for 3b hair and look there too. If you are biracial consider that you are on the course end of the spectrum and stick with moisture, coconut oil and olive oil are great but try argan oil (repairs beautifully) and avocado oil (a source of vegetable protein to rebuild) too. Also, consider cutting off as much of the damaged area as possible. Those damaged ends are what causes the knots and tangles. The split, damaged ends are wrapping around themselves (and your new hair) and causing it to snap off. You will feel the weight lifted off of your head and really get a feeling of healthy movement and ease of comb-through. That will also help your image of your own hair. Don't let yourself be defined by the damage and the past. Take care of your inside with proper nutrition as well.
sagahen, thanks. I've been checking out the 3b boards and have gotten some good info. You're right on about the coarse hair because I am biracial. I cut my hair shorter and while I may look like a grandma (I shouldn't be trusted with scissors), my hair is softer and seems healthier so I know it's getting better. I started the cg routine august of last year and I haven't used silicones and I've used heat only a handful of times since then, I just guess that my hair is taking a long time to heal. I also know now, thanks to all of you lovely curlies, that I haven't been giving my hair enough love. It's mostly due to my money woes but at least I know now what my hair needs. I've also found out where I can get a satin pillowcase for $! Yes! I know I need to take better care of myself internally but it's a tad bit difficult for me right now. Thanks so much for the help.
There's a poster named alexjoujou. Your hair my be similar to her daughter's hair. She frequently discusses what they have to do with T's hair, so you can check her posts.

Here's her blog, she reviews products and there are pictures of both mother and daughter's hair: http://thewavytales.blogspot.com/

Joellen is a sweetheart--and knows a lot about conquering hair issues with all different types and textures, at this point. If you don't find the information here, I'm sure she'd be happy to help you out with some ideas, if you pm her.
3a (Corkicelli), highlighted, fine, low porosity
modified CG, since April '07
CG since 3/11/08

SE PA

HGs: Anything Sevi; Curly Kinks Satin Roots, Curlycue ReNew and Coil Jam; homemade FSG and okra gel; soap bars; UFD Curly Magic (now Hello Curly Curl Stimulater); Botanical Spirits Jellies, CJ Repair Me, Marie Dean Leave Ins and Curl Creams
First OP welcome aboard!

My daughter has hair that sounds similar to yours. Although her hair on the outside looks wavy and fine to medium she has a lot of hair that is coarse and much more Z curly inside (and not the S shaped waves). As she gets older her hair coming in is the more Z coarser type...the finer S shaped strands are the ones that are coming out and shedding. It is a challenge when you have multiple textures on one head.

She gets the "mixed" hair from me (super fine and thin hair that's wavy/curly) and her dad who has very very coarse hair that is a mix of 2,3, and 4. It's looking primarily 4A as it gets longer but some parts really look more like 2C...so it's hard to really tell. In any case somehow she got mutliple types of hair on her head. My son has primarily wavy hair with some ringlet's and it is pretty medium in texuture..it's shifting from fine (when he was younger) and 3B to more Medium to coarse and 2B/C now. He has coarse hair coming in at his nape..thinking he'll eventually shift over all the way.

His hair is pretty easy--nearly any product works and we just have to be careful not to use something with protein too often on his coarser nape hair (kitchen area) or it will be exactly like straw. He likes Healthy Sexy Hair Chocolate Soymilk Shampoo, Suave Strawberry (we alternate cowash and low poo) and EO Sweet Orange Conditioner (on sale at Marshall's right now for $5 for the huge container). We use the Garnier Fructis Triple Nutrition OR new version of Sleek and Shine for his coarser area.

For my daughter we've done multiple things (threads below) but there are several really important things. 1. MOISTURIZE well in the shower. Do the cowash or low poo and make sure to really scrub your scalp. Then put a rinse out in by sections and very gently comb it through...we use a Mebco comb we got at Sally's for $2.50 or so. No brushes as even the Denman breaks her hair. 2. LEAVE IN -- you need to use a leave in or leave some conditioner in your hair. Leave in WAY more than you think you should. One little quarter sized is not enough...Tahia's hair is frizzy even while wet so we leave in conditioner until it's not frizzy. This can mean her hair is "white" or ashy until it soaks in (her hair is low porosity). 3. Use protective styles whenever possible--braids, buns, etc. Until you get your moisture level back you need to keep that moisture in and not being lost to the air around you. For Tahia we put her hair in braids (one or multiple..twists don't work on her hair as the fine hair doesn't hold) and then she sleeps with the cap overnight. We use two products in the morning and night for her that havemade a world of difference. I know you said you were money strapped but if your mom or friend could help I would suggest getting Qhemet Biologics Burdock Root Butter Cream and Shescentit Gillian Butter. If you do a search these will come up. We use both night and morning and we can get 4-7 day hair for her. Don't glob them on--just carefully distribute.

Tia's hair tangles extremely easy...so we use the Qhemet's stuff under and over her hair a lot. It coats it a bit (it comes out easily) and we sometimes finger detangle very lightly if its bad. The Shescentit butter seals her hair and we don't find it getting as dry.

Our current favorite products for Tahia's hair are:

Hope this helps. Heres another post..and my blog has lots of info on the products:

Oh the frizz?! please help!!!
Attached Thumbnails
help...-comic-1-tia.jpg  
FIA 2c/3aFi

Done experimenting! Loving Spiral Solutions products!

Blog: http://thewavytales.blogspot.com/

Last edited by Alexjoujou; 02-06-2010 at 10:24 AM.
Can you post some pics of your hair?
http://members.fotki.com/Versacecrazy/



CURL JUNKIE ZOMBIE !!!
Some questions. I was hesitant to use oils because I don't shampoo and I read somewhere that using oils when you don't shampoo can be very bad. I'm afraid that if I use oils, they'll build up on my hair. I like to do a baking soda rinse sometimes, would this rinse help with oil build up? Maybe if I save some money, and got a natural shampoo (burt's bees, deva, etc), and used that after an oil treatment, would that work out all right? Also, I don't like to do my hair everyday just because it's a nuisance but if I go somewhere everyday, I have to wet it. My hair can look great one day and I'll do whatever I can to keep it looking decent through the night but my hair always looks like a rat's nest. To get through all those knots and what not, I have to get my hair wet and pull conditioner through my hair. I've tried just putting conditioner on it dry and getting through the tangles that way but my hair still looks stupid. It's like overnight, I lose all the curl.It's like a combination of don king and helena bonham carter in sweeney todd, just more frizz. And when I let my hair go for too long, it get more and more tangled so it's better for me to wet and condish everyday. Maybe when my hair gets longer and more moisturized, I'll be able to do a spray and condish.
Originally Posted by Stephaneenee
OMG, I sooo feel your pain. This is the EXACT same problem that I have. I'm sure you'll find alot of help here...I sure have. It's still impossible though for me to get 2nd day hair (unless of course if it's flat ironed and I wrap it-which I haven't done in 7 months). Good luck to ya...you're gonna love it here!
http://members.fotki.com/Versacecrazy/



CURL JUNKIE ZOMBIE !!!
thanks for the tips again you guys. They're all really helpful. I've been following the curly girl method for a while now. No sulfates, silicones, or brushing. I just have to follow up with moisturizing. My natural hair curls into really tight coils, definitely 3b. But because of relaxers and brushing my hair became waves. But the majority of it has returned to it's natural curl, sadly the only part of the hair you can see is still in waves. I will follow up with moisturizing! And versacecrazy, I will post some pics as soon as I figure out how to do so.

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