My husband was finally honest about the "new" hair

Ok, this morning my husband finally told me that since I have went CG he just does not like it. Well to say that that really pained me is an understatement. He said that it was flat and looked greasy to him and that he liked it better when I was just doing the "normal" washing and conditioning because it had more volume and looked better to him.

Ok now to give him credit, I have to admit, although I love the Jessicurl products for how they are making my hair FEEL, they are weighing my hair down on top and making it "lanky" for the lack of a better word. Any suggestions? I do not want to go back to sulfate and silicone world but would like to have curls at the top of my head like I used to. Thanks!
3a-3b, coarse (?), thick, elastic, porous! Mod. CG 11/2010
Poo: Tresemme Naturals Low Sulfate Shampoo, Bain De Terre Green Meadow Poo, L'Oreal Sulfate Free Poo for colored hair
Condish/Cowashes: Tresemme Naturals, L'Oreal Sulfate Free Conditioner
DT/Leave In: KC Knot Today
Gels/Stylers: KCCC, HE Totally Twisted
Weekly: Nothing yet! Don't need!
"Curls on the Go": Water Spritz
Ok, this morning my husband finally told me that since I have went CG he just does not like it. Well to say that that really pained me is an understatement. He said that it was flat and looked greasy to him and that he liked it better when I was just doing the "normal" washing and conditioning because it had more volume and looked better to him.

Ok now to give him credit, I have to admit, although I love the Jessicurl products for how they are making my hair FEEL, they are weighing my hair down on top and making it "lanky" for the lack of a better word. Any suggestions? I do not want to go back to sulfate and silicone world but would like to have curls at the top of my head like I used to. Thanks!
Originally Posted by Libertybelle67
Watch you are not over conditioning as that will make it feel weighed down & 'lanky' (know what you mean). Also it will take a little time for your hair to become accustomed to it. (I think that because when you use shampoos your scalp produces more sebum/oil to counteract the dryness shampoos cause and then when you stop using shampoo the scalp takes a little while to realise that it doesn't need to produce so much sebum/oil.) If worse comes to worse you could use a low poo now and again. But I would give it a little time. Tell him too that it will take a little time to settle. HTH
UK curly

fine to medium strands, porous, medium density
CG May 2009 - low poo occasionally
Co-wash: Tresemme Naturals
Styling -Naked Curl Defining Cream, BRHG, Mop Top, FSG
Product for a good hair day: FSG or Mop Top
Hair loves protein!
http://public.fotki.com/curlyhairmichuk/
new pics added Jan 2012

Enjoying the freedom of going curly!
Duchess of Alba, Keeper of the Tartan Curls in The Order of the Curly Crusaders
Perhaps you are using to much product? I think it's definitely worth a try to lighten it up a bit. Or maybe the JessiCurl line just isn't for you. I use to load my hair with gel, but after using deep treatments and protein treatments my hair looks great after applying coconut oil and jojoba oil to wet hair. (It doesn't feel oily. It soaks right in.) I feel like you might need to try something else. Wish I could help your more. What is your curl type / porosity / etc? It should be helpful to look at what other similar curlies are using.
|| 3b; normal porosity; fine/normal texture || CG since Feb 2010 || SD/dandruff prone

Current Routine BAQ henna 1/month Leave-in OH Hair Dew Cheapie Conditioner Tresemme Naturals Moisturizing
Old Stand-bys extra-virgin coconut oil Protein AO GPB; Moisture AO HR Style AOMMJ Kept for troubleshooting.
Waiting to try extra-wide curlformers SD treatment H&S Clinical Strength

I had to stop CG. Not because it was bad...I know it helps a lot of curlies here. CO washing was just tooooo much for my hair. My hair is fine-textured and can get weighed down easily. I'm still more gentle to my hair than I ever was in my pre-CG days, but I'm less gentle now in my post-CG days than when I was in my CG days (wow! that was a mouthful). Now, I use non-sulfate shampoos and I use some cones but ones that can easily wash out. I will use a sulfate shampoo once a week or once every week and a half because even with the non-sulfate shampoos, my hair still gets weighed down easily.
Hopefully, you'll find a happy medium.
That's right, I said it! I wear scrunchies!!

I am a sulfate washing, cone slabbing, curly lovin' s.o.b. The CG police haven't caught me yet.


3a/3b
I wouldn't fret just yet. I told the bf at the beginning of my CG transition that it might be 6 weeks before things mellowed out, so he knew what to expect. It can take a while to transition. How long has it been for you?

Also, like previously mentioned, both over conditioning and using too much product can make hair go flat. I've seen a lot of girls make themselves look flat and oily in their quest to eliminate frizz. What is your current routine and hair type? Pics?

Lastly, here is a thread re: root volume and crown height. Anyone achieving both curly bangs and crown height/volume? HOW?? I use a modified Icequeen method and pixiecurl difusse when I want volume. There are some other suggestiongs there as well. HTH Good luck!
CG since 2/23/10!

2B 3A mix, fine texture and high porosity at crown/bangs, normal elsewhere. I like protein!

Trying to grow out a short haircut.

WASH: Jessicurl Cleansing Cream (once every week or so)
CONDITION: Jessicurl Too Shea! or Aloeba Conditioner
STYLE: Jessicurl Gelebration Spray/Awe Inspiraling Spray

http://public.fotki.com/85MR2/ (PICS OF CG TRANSITION SO FAR) Need to update. No pics with the Jessicurl products yet, but I LOVE them!
I had to stop CG. Not because it was bad...I know it helps a lot of curlies here. CO washing was just tooooo much for my hair. My hair is fine-textured and can get weighed down easily. I'm still more gentle to my hair than I ever was in my pre-CG days, but I'm less gentle now in my post-CG days than when I was in my CG days (wow! that was a mouthful). Now, I use non-sulfate shampoos and I use some cones but ones that can easily wash out. I will use a sulfate shampoo once a week or once every week and a half because even with the non-sulfate shampoos, my hair still gets weighed down easily.
Hopefully, you'll find a happy medium.
Originally Posted by Boomygrrl
Agreed! Everyone should do what works for their hair. A low-poo may be necessary in the long run. I would tweak a couple things first, but I have one stashed in my cupboard just in case!
CG since 2/23/10!

2B 3A mix, fine texture and high porosity at crown/bangs, normal elsewhere. I like protein!

Trying to grow out a short haircut.

WASH: Jessicurl Cleansing Cream (once every week or so)
CONDITION: Jessicurl Too Shea! or Aloeba Conditioner
STYLE: Jessicurl Gelebration Spray/Awe Inspiraling Spray

http://public.fotki.com/85MR2/ (PICS OF CG TRANSITION SO FAR) Need to update. No pics with the Jessicurl products yet, but I LOVE them!
I had to stop CG. Not because it was bad...I know it helps a lot of curlies here. CO washing was just tooooo much for my hair. My hair is fine-textured and can get weighed down easily. I'm still more gentle to my hair than I ever was in my pre-CG days, but I'm less gentle now in my post-CG days than when I was in my CG days (wow! that was a mouthful). Now, I use non-sulfate shampoos and I use some cones but ones that can easily wash out. I will use a sulfate shampoo once a week or once every week and a half because even with the non-sulfate shampoos, my hair still gets weighed down easily.
Hopefully, you'll find a happy medium.
Originally Posted by Boomygrrl
Agreed! Everyone should do what works for their hair. A low-poo may be necessary in the long run. I would tweak a couple things first, but I have one stashed in my cupboard just in case!
Originally Posted by 85MR2
+1 I tried for about 2 months to go completely CG, but my scalp and hair just *really* love a good low-poo once a week or so. When I was exclusively co-washing, I got scalp acne. Not attractive!

How long have you been at it? How often do you cowash? Are you fine-haired? Porous? Nonporous?

I'm medium-textured, medium-to-thin thickness, and porous. I haven't tried the Jessicurl line, but maybe it's the products? I'd look at the hair bio thread to see what other curlies are using, and maybe order some samples from Kathymack if something sounds like it may work for you.
Location: West Virginia (Eastern Panhandle)
2b/cMii, medium-high porosity

Likes protein and most oils, HATES mineral oil
Summer Routine
Poo: Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture
Cowash CJ Daily Fix
Rinse out: Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture
Leave In: Tresemme Naturals Nourishing Moisture, SSRPT
Stylers: Ecostyler Krystal, LALSG (in really high dews)
PT: SS Repairing Protein Treatment
I also find that close-to-the-head curls and a flat top can seem "greasy" to many--it often does to me . I am trying to find that balance that gives me moisturized curls but doesn't flatten and overproduct me. I have not perfected the system. ahahha. But then, I've only been doing it three months, and I have made progress.

I will not be totally CG looks like. I still like to use a stronger poo on occasion (to clarify) and I alternate poos--Come Clean, Daily Fix, Deva LowPoo, Elucence Clarifying--depending on how my hair feels. But becuase I'm dry and porous, I do need lots of condish, the thing is, I someimes overcondish, and there's that greasy look!

Right now, I'm working on getting crown height and some more volume. When the curls are perfectly coiled and clumped, I don't like how the overall style looks. After all, people aren't looking at my curls. They're looking at the "hair effect". A flat top, close to head, supercoily, low-volume hair "effect" is not flattering on most folks, and certainly not me.

So, I think you can experiment with less product. In fact, try starting with the absolute minimum you think you can get away with (ie, poo, rinse out, a curl enhance in small quantities) and then do something to work up crown height (a bit of mousse or hard hold gel at the crown). Use some clips or stick fingers in to diffuse crown UP and roots UP close to the head. See if that works to give you a happier curl look your husband and you can enjoy.

Sorry he didn't like it, but it's nice he could be honest. My hubby has complimented me MORE since I went back to curly hair (he met me when I was frizzy-curly totally air dry natural). But your guy got used to something else and, well, change isn't always welcome. There's a happy medium somewhere, that place where you can keep your hair healthy and curly and he can like its "clean and coily" look...
3a3b dry, dyed --newly "banged"
Natural since 11/25/09 (Miami)

Shine & Spring w/ Sweet Curls Elixirs!
Curl Junkie Conditions!
Re:coil ROCKS!

~CJ Protein Tx
; BEE-U-Ti-Ful Deep Condish
~S&C; SMasters Method; Pixie-curling
Dumping clumps for VOLUME!
http://public.fotki.com/MirCurls/


Marchioness Mir, Magister of Moisturization & Mystic of the Lofty Crown in the Order of the Curly Crusaders

Last edited by MirCurls; 03-06-2010 at 03:21 PM.
Definitely experiment with different products before you give up! I and a lot of other girls are trying to get more volume, as well. If I find something that really works, I'll let you know. Today I'm trying curl creme + mousse. Still wet, but fingers crossed!
Perhaps you are using to much product? I think it's definitely worth a try to lighten it up a bit. Or maybe the JessiCurl line just isn't for you. I use to load my hair with gel, but after using deep treatments and protein treatments my hair looks great after applying coconut oil and jojoba oil to wet hair. (It doesn't feel oily. It soaks right in.) I feel like you might need to try something else. Wish I could help your more. What is your curl type / porosity / etc? It should be helpful to look at what other similar curlies are using.
Originally Posted by poemaXX
I agree. If JessiCurl doesn't work, try a diff line maybe? Might help
I wanted to add that it is cool that he mentioned something. I asked my bf to let me know right away if I looked greasy, or if my hair smelled bad, or anything out of the ordinary. That way I could make the appropriate adjustments, whether that meant change up products, methods, whatever. So far he has made comments three times. Once to tell me my hair smelled good, once to tell me it was really pretty that day, and this morning he told me that I should really wash it (he know that means co-washing right now). I did a deep treatment last night, and the olive oil left me a little greasy at the roots. I cowashed and he said it took care of it. But having a second set of eyes is awesome! Take advantage of it.
CG since 2/23/10!

2B 3A mix, fine texture and high porosity at crown/bangs, normal elsewhere. I like protein!

Trying to grow out a short haircut.

WASH: Jessicurl Cleansing Cream (once every week or so)
CONDITION: Jessicurl Too Shea! or Aloeba Conditioner
STYLE: Jessicurl Gelebration Spray/Awe Inspiraling Spray

http://public.fotki.com/85MR2/ (PICS OF CG TRANSITION SO FAR) Need to update. No pics with the Jessicurl products yet, but I LOVE them!
I am a CG'er and you really have to be careful with products weighing the hair down (if you don't want that particular look) especially if you have fine hair.

I have REALLY thick and dense hair and my hair can hold A LOT of product and not feel or look greasy once it's semi-dry. But even with my thick hair.. using to much of a certain product can go over kill.

I love BIG fluffy hair and I wear my hair like that pretty much daily...and I try to use the amount of product that I know will not make my hair look flat.. I just don't look right with flat hair.

So you might have to not use so much product. Being a CG'er doesn't mean you have to go over kill with conditioners and styling agents. You may have to experiement with different products or use what you have much more sparingly than what you are using.
Jessicurl has a no poo and a low poo.
I've also started experimenting with soap bars from Kathymack followed by a ACV rinse.

Be careful when you condition. I don't apply it against my roots at all. With my daughter, who's hair is very fine, I tell her to condition from ears down so her hair won't get weighed down.

Good luck
I never got into the full CG conditioner wash thing as my hair looked that way too. I used Jessicurl's cleansers as well, and still had that look. BUT, I jumped on the Curl Junkie bandwagon and am using the Daily Fix -- love it! It doesn't leave my hair gunky or flat at all! Try it!

SF Bay Area, CA * "The Angel-Goddess-Guru of Haircoloring"
3b/c/a mix. medium texture, low porosity
* pw: just4curlies
* My Motto: Strand Test!
some hair pics
-- gone, but never forgotten.
+1 for the products. Jessicurl made my hair limp and lifeless after only a week. I'd try a few more things before I gave up. Many of us are modified CG. You have to do what works for you.
3a (Corkicelli), highlighted, fine, low porosity
modified CG, since April '07
CG since 3/11/08

SE PA

HGs: Anything Sevi; Curly Kinks Satin Roots, Curlycue ReNew and Coil Jam; homemade FSG and okra gel; soap bars; UFD Curly Magic (now Hello Curly Curl Stimulater); Botanical Spirits Jellies, CJ Repair Me, Aloe Fix and CCCC
I have to agree with what everyone has been saying about lessening product use, or maybe something a little less "rich" would help as well. I haven't been CG long, but already leaned that I don't need nearly the same amount of product I used to use. Now I only rake a DIME SIZED plop of GDLI (see signature) as opposed to the half-dollar (sooo much for shoulder length hair!) sized I used when first turning (almost always looked greasy and felt heavy as well).

As for crown curls, plopping has really made a difference and nothing helped more than buying a decent diffuser.

Finally, don't underestimate a good ACV rinse and don't lose hope. It's good he's telling you these things, but it doesn't mean you have the go back to the way it was before. Thank him for being honest and ask his opinion when you change products to see if things are improving.
3a/b, med porosity
CG as of 01/10
CoWash: V05 Kiwi
Cond: Burt's Bees Grapefruit and Sugar Beet
DT: Lustrasilk Liquid Cholesterol
Leave-in: Giovanni Direct Leave-in
Styling: ECOgel
Testing: using my rinse-out as a leave-in

http://public.fotki.com/redmermaid/
password: red
Need to get my hair type into my signature somehow. I have the botticelli type curls according to the CG book. I have only been trying CG for a month now. Still experimenting with product. I think that I AM fine and not coarse like one of you had suggested. I do think I am somewhere between a 2c-3b if there is such a thing! And I have a lot of hair, but it has to be fine because it does weigh down easy. I am used to using a lot of product and that very well may be my problem. My hair is also to the small of my back when wet, so it is pretty long and the weight of just the hair does drag it down I am sure. I have an appt. to go see a Deva Trained hairstylist in Asheville, NC soon, so I am hoping that she can help with a better cut and with some suggestions for my hair type. She told me to be prepared to spend about 2 hours with her.

Yeah my husband is great for being honest with me! We are early 40's and have only been married a year and half so we are still in the honeymoon stage, but getting married at this age is AWESOME! Through with all the growing pains and into a real relationship with the same goals, so yeah, I do appreciate his honesty and tell him so! But thanks for reminding me to do that just in case I had forgot! Sometimes I am single minded that way!

Thanks for all the suggestions and I do think I am going to pull together some from all of you, esp. the Curl Junkie suggestions and ACV rinse out and using some low poos or no sulfate poos.

Again, a great big thanks to all!
3a-3b, coarse (?), thick, elastic, porous! Mod. CG 11/2010
Poo: Tresemme Naturals Low Sulfate Shampoo, Bain De Terre Green Meadow Poo, L'Oreal Sulfate Free Poo for colored hair
Condish/Cowashes: Tresemme Naturals, L'Oreal Sulfate Free Conditioner
DT/Leave In: KC Knot Today
Gels/Stylers: KCCC, HE Totally Twisted
Weekly: Nothing yet! Don't need!
"Curls on the Go": Water Spritz
I had to stop CG. Not because it was bad...I know it helps a lot of curlies here. CO washing was just tooooo much for my hair. My hair is fine-textured and can get weighed down easily. I'm still more gentle to my hair than I ever was in my pre-CG days, but I'm less gentle now in my post-CG days than when I was in my CG days (wow! that was a mouthful). Now, I use non-sulfate shampoos and I use some cones but ones that can easily wash out. I will use a sulfate shampoo once a week or once every week and a half because even with the non-sulfate shampoos, my hair still gets weighed down easily.
Hopefully, you'll find a happy medium.
Originally Posted by Boomygrrl
Same here. Do what makes you feel right. I also low poo daily-not sure if boomygrrl does-so do not feel like you have to not shampoo. But if you want to continue on-that is ok too.
Central Massachusetts

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. ~George Carlin~

In regards to Vagazzling: They just want to get into the goods without worrying about getting scratched up by fake crystals. ~spring1onu~
I'm so glad some of you mentioned that you shampoo weekly. The low-poos just weren't cutting it. It took me forever to realize that my hair wasn't getting completely clean either. Now I use a sulfate shampoo (and not the Kenra either, that sulfate doesn't seem to cleanse the oil off very well) once a week.

So if the CG police come after me, I'm gonna rat you guys out too. LOL
Grand Goobah Caedran, Aqueous Infusion of Demulcents, Order of the Curly Crusaders

Fia 2cFi, fine texture, med porosity CG 5-29-09 * My hair loves protein! Currently using : DermOrganics Shampoo and IHM, G2B Kinkier Mousse, Re:Coil VMM, Anything Spiral Solutions! MO Sealing. Coconut Oil Pre-Poo, once a month Hard Water shampoo. Avoiding Glycerin in finishing products.

Jessicurl stylers sadly made me quite stringy - but I do like the conditioners!

I am a huge fan of low poos because my hair gets overconditioned and weighed so easily. I also use just a tad of product - leave in some condish just on the ends, plop, scrunch about a quarter of gel from the ends to the roots, nice volume and no lankness!

CG worked great for me, but as I have said in other threads, I just really prefer a much less defined, almost drier look to my waves. Not unhealthy, just airy.
2b (a fine 'n porous wavy)...and finally growing out :-)

Wash: Deva Low-poo
Condish and leave in: OneC or Suave Coconut

Styler: Angell or the Deva foam, sometimes KKKC

Etc: Set It Free as a refresher

Protien: Looking for one

I love hairspray...don't judge

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