Two questions for you curlygirls that are gray . . .

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This is just me but based on what I have seen over the years, most women can color their hair and look better. My mom is 74 and still colors hers. However, with guys, for the most part, it turns into a trainwreack when they color theirs. I'm good with going gray, I just accept it as reality of getting older.
Originally Posted by bobby
This is exactly what drives me crazy. It's ok for men to go grey, but women should just suck it up and dye it? I see women all the time in their 70s with dyed hair. My opinion is it *never* looks natural.
Originally Posted by chloe92us
I never said it was OK for men to go gray and for women to dye it. All I said is most men I have seen do it, end up looking awful. Whereas the women (at least most of the time) I've seen do it, generally do not look awful. Whether someone decides to do it or not is immaterial to me.
^^^ I misunderstood your post then; I thought you meant if a woman dyes her hair she looks "better" (than if she didn't)....but i now think you meant a woman's DYE JOB tends to be better than a man's DYE JOB. That makes me feel better! Sorry!
2C/ Coarse/ Normal porosity/ SW Florida/ Salt & Pepper
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Condish: JC Too Shea, CJ Curl Rehab (both as RO & LI)
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^^^ I misunderstood your post then; I thought you meant if a woman dyes her hair she looks "better" (than if she didn't)....but i now think you meant a woman's DYE JOB tends to be better than a man's DYE JOB. That makes me feel better! Sorry!
Originally Posted by chloe92us
That was precisely what I meant, Chloe. No problem though, misunderstandings happen. I would never dream of dying mine. For me, most of my gray is facial hair but good thing I shave regularly. Don't want to look like Papa Smurf yet. As for women looking better if they dye it as opposed to don't. Like anything, there's no hard and fast rules. I definitely haven't seen too many women look like trainwreaks after dying their hair. Then again, this thread is an example of people (women specifically) who accept gray and look great.
Perhaps you're seeing men using box dye and women going to salons. We had to convince FIL that his unintentionally pink hair would be better undyed :-)

My previous comment still stands, but it wasn't directed at your post. :-)
Salt & pepper wavy mix 2B/2C
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Current favorites:
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Perhaps you're seeing men using box dye and women going to salons. We had to convince FIL that his unintentionally pink hair would be better undyed :-)

My previous comment still stands, but it wasn't directed at your post. :-)
Originally Posted by CurlyGrey3
I didn't take as such but yes, I think there is some truth to men using dyeboxes and women going to salons and having someone that knows what they are doing, get the dye job done.
I agree that when men dye their hair it often looks less 'real' than when women do it. Maybe because men just don't read directions? : )

Yes, the double standard is irksome. It's why you rarely hear a man say "I look older with grey hair" but you hear many women say just that.
It's an illogical statement no matter who says it tho. Dying your hair doesn't make you look younger. It makes your hair look younger. Dyed hair doesn't take away wrinkles or age spots or saggy bits. It doesn't make your heart or lungs or thyroid younger. But, if it makes a person feel happy to dye their hair, men or women, great. I'm one of the champions of people doing what makes them happy.
bobby, rbb and curlygoinggray like this.
In Western PA
Found NC in 2004. CG since 2-05, going grey since 9-05. 3B with some 3A.
Hair texture-medium/fine, porosity-normal except for the ends which are porous, elasticity-normal.
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http://public.fotki.com/jeepcurlygurl/ password jeepy **updated Aug 2014**

I agree that when men dye their hair it often looks less 'real' than when women do it. Maybe because men just don't read directions? : )

Yes, the double standard is irksome. It's why you rarely hear a man say "I look older with grey hair" but you hear many women say just that.
It's an illogical statement no matter who says it tho. Dying your hair doesn't make you look younger. It makes your hair look younger. Dyed hair doesn't take away wrinkles or age spots or saggy bits. It doesn't make your heart or lungs or thyroid younger. But, if it makes a person feel happy to dye their hair, men or women, great. I'm one of the champions of people doing what makes them happy.
Originally Posted by jeepcurlygurl
Men not reading the directions, sad and most likely true. If it makes them happy so be it, I agree, Jeepcurls. My wife and kids didn't buy me any hair dye for Father's Day.
IBut, if it makes a person feel happy to dye their hair, men or women, great. I'm one of the champions of people doing what makes them happy.
Originally Posted by jeepcurlygurl
Absolutely! This life is too short to not do what makes you happy. It just makes me sad when people live their lives according to what makes others approve of them rather than really figuring out what makes them happy.

This is in no way a judgment of people who dye. I certainly don't care what color(s) other people make their hair, although I am partial to purple. :-)
curlygoinggray likes this.
Salt & pepper wavy mix 2B/2C
Low to normal porosity, coarse, kinky, normal elasticity
Current favorites:
Low poo: Yes To Cukes Color Protection (the no sulfate one)
Conditioners: Renpure MPHIP, CJ Smoothing Lotion, AB LI, CJ Curl Rehab, CJ Argan/Olive, Darcy's Pumpkin
Style: FSG, BRHG
Pre-poo/DT: Conditioner with honey & coconut oil

iHerb discount code: PNQ285
Today my mother told me my gray hair is awful and that she would even pay for me to color it. My father has a head full of white hair that she thinks is gorgeous, and she is certainly not on my brother's case although his sides are coming in gray and at 39 he has the streak in the front that I had in my early twenties.

Women are definitely perpetuating the double standard between men, women and gray hair.

And for dyed hair . . . I always go to the salon, so when my hair is first done -- that is until my roots grow in -- the color looks natural. i can definitely tell who at work is using dye out of a bottle or has a stylist using something just a tad better. Quality dye and a quality stylist make a big difference.
Thick 3B/C hair, shoulder length and transitioning into my premature gray. Wen SAM or Neuma shampoo, Jojoba oil, Aveda Damage Control Spray and Flaxseed-Aloe liquid gel.
Your mother sounds like mine. :-)
Salt & pepper wavy mix 2B/2C
Low to normal porosity, coarse, kinky, normal elasticity
Current favorites:
Low poo: Yes To Cukes Color Protection (the no sulfate one)
Conditioners: Renpure MPHIP, CJ Smoothing Lotion, AB LI, CJ Curl Rehab, CJ Argan/Olive, Darcy's Pumpkin
Style: FSG, BRHG
Pre-poo/DT: Conditioner with honey & coconut oil

iHerb discount code: PNQ285
Kurlykimfeu, your silver curls are beautiful!

Stacy3C, I never colored my grays, I started graying so young (24) I was right out of college and too broke! Later, I was tempted by stylists to do so, but never gave in. Partly because I didn't want to spend the $$$, but also because I dreaded the "someday in the future" transition back to gray. I had almost waist-length hair back then, and the idea of having to do a "Big Chop" - even in the distant future - totally terrified me)

Here is my silver (straightened and shoved in a ponytail today). Like others here, I use the Ardell Red/Gold Corrector from Sally. About 8 drops in a palm-full of condtioner, 5-10 minutes. Whenever I think about it, maybe 2-3 times/month. No yellowing problem. I am 49.
Two questions for you curlygirls that are gray . . .-uploadfromtaptalk1371915651310.jpg

Sent from my cell .
jeepcurlygurl likes this.
3A
Kurlykimfeu, your silver curls are beautiful!

Stacy3C, I never colored my grays, I started graying so young (24) I was right out of college and too broke! Later, I was tempted by stylists to do so, but never gave in. Partly because I didn't want to spend the $$$, but also because I dreaded the "someday in the future" transition back to gray. I had almost waist-length hair back then, and the idea of having to do a "Big Chop" - even in the distant future - totally terrified me)

Here is my silver (straightened and shoved in a ponytail today). Like others here, I use the Ardell Red/Gold Corrector from Sally. About 8 drops in a palm-full of condtioner, 5-10 minutes. Whenever I think about it, maybe 2-3 times/month. No yellowing problem. I am 49.
Attachment 36656

Sent from my cell .
Originally Posted by FrizzyM
Beautiful silver!
I see you have hit the CG member decade mark, too!
Thick 3B/C hair, shoulder length and transitioning into my premature gray. Wen SAM or Neuma shampoo, Jojoba oil, Aveda Damage Control Spray and Flaxseed-Aloe liquid gel.
Gorgeous color!
Salt & pepper wavy mix 2B/2C
Low to normal porosity, coarse, kinky, normal elasticity
Current favorites:
Low poo: Yes To Cukes Color Protection (the no sulfate one)
Conditioners: Renpure MPHIP, CJ Smoothing Lotion, AB LI, CJ Curl Rehab, CJ Argan/Olive, Darcy's Pumpkin
Style: FSG, BRHG
Pre-poo/DT: Conditioner with honey & coconut oil

iHerb discount code: PNQ285
Stacy 3C, my mother was overly critical of my hair, too. I think she hated every hairstyle or cut I ever had, and was always making comments about it. She didn't overly criticize other aspects of my life, so I'm not sure why the hair was always such an issue.

One time shortly after I was married, she came to visit me and I hadn't seen her in 2-3 months, so I went and got my hair cut the day before she arrived. Before she even got in the house, she said "you need a haircut". <sigh> It's hard not to take it personally, but i think maybe she just didn't get that current hairstyles don't look like "good" hairstyles in her generation... she was in her 40's when i was born, and as far back as I can remember she always had the "little old lady poof-head" style, done in a salon weekly.

Still, it is hard not to take it personally! But don't give in and color because she said to. Whatever her issue is with your hair, it's about her - not you. So if you color just do it because YOU want to.

(eek, sorry I got so long-winded. moms + hair is apparently still a sore subject with me!)
chloe92us likes this.
3A
I'm right with you on the moms and hair thing. :-)
Salt & pepper wavy mix 2B/2C
Low to normal porosity, coarse, kinky, normal elasticity
Current favorites:
Low poo: Yes To Cukes Color Protection (the no sulfate one)
Conditioners: Renpure MPHIP, CJ Smoothing Lotion, AB LI, CJ Curl Rehab, CJ Argan/Olive, Darcy's Pumpkin
Style: FSG, BRHG
Pre-poo/DT: Conditioner with honey & coconut oil

iHerb discount code: PNQ285
Stacy 3C, my mother was overly critical of my hair, too. I think she hated every hairstyle or cut I ever had, and was always making comments about it. She didn't overly criticize other aspects of my life, so I'm not sure why the hair was always such an issue.

One time shortly after I was married, she came to visit me and I hadn't seen her in 2-3 months, so I went and got my hair cut the day before she arrived. Before she even got in the house, she said "you need a haircut". <sigh> It's hard not to take it personally, but i think maybe she just didn't get that current hairstyles don't look like "good" hairstyles in her generation... she was in her 40's when i was born, and as far back as I can remember she always had the "little old lady poof-head" style, done in a salon weekly.

Still, it is hard not to take it personally! But don't give in and color because she said to. Whatever her issue is with your hair, it's about her - not you. So if you color just do it because YOU want to.

(eek, sorry I got so long-winded. moms + hair is apparently still a sore subject with me!)
Originally Posted by FrizzyM
:-) That is funny . . . and true.
When I think back to all the hairstyles and clothing my mother picked for me . . . well . . . they were frequently "Do nots."
Thick 3B/C hair, shoulder length and transitioning into my premature gray. Wen SAM or Neuma shampoo, Jojoba oil, Aveda Damage Control Spray and Flaxseed-Aloe liquid gel.
Decent dye jobs don't have to look natural to be attractive, they do have to not look harsh or unrealistic or just not suit you even from a distance. My mother is in her late sixties and has dyed for years - canopy has a lot of white/ grey, natural is dark brown.

The dye has been both DIY and salon has always been decent, always lighter than the natural currently with high and lowlights, for many years she has aimed to tint or tone her greys not totally cover them. It's akin to what a quality make up job does, her but better.

That is not to imply everyone needs to be improved with with greys/ whites, some people it just suits and they look amazing. If I had my aunt's full head white I'd indulge my passion for pastels, because it's fun not because I think her natural hair is anything but beautiful.
2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
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Last edited by Firefox7275; 07-15-2013 at 04:30 PM.
I agree with you. Sometimes I see women with stunning hair that could never have come from nature. I love those colors. A friend of mine with grey hair used to have a gorgeous purple streak, but she wound up with heavy metal poisoning and stopped all dyes.
Salt & pepper wavy mix 2B/2C
Low to normal porosity, coarse, kinky, normal elasticity
Current favorites:
Low poo: Yes To Cukes Color Protection (the no sulfate one)
Conditioners: Renpure MPHIP, CJ Smoothing Lotion, AB LI, CJ Curl Rehab, CJ Argan/Olive, Darcy's Pumpkin
Style: FSG, BRHG
Pre-poo/DT: Conditioner with honey & coconut oil

iHerb discount code: PNQ285
Bumping this. If I could afford the salon once a month, I'd probably not be considering this. It looks totally different than a box. Box dye just looks flat once you are covering gray. I was looking at older ladies, probably in their 60s, tonight at a restaurant. Most were medium to light brown. Obviously dyed. Thing was they were fine haired. It actually made their scalps more apparent. And there just seems to be a point where for a lot of people, dyeing makes it look so.....fake. I don't know. I'm very conflicted but in some ways I just wish I had never dyed. But who thinks about that in your 30s or 40s especially when there wasn't so much info via internet? You just....do it like there is no choice. Especially when NO one you know is going natural.
First, I want to say that I too love the pics here, and I think everyone with a grey pic looks great. It really is about a shift in perception. I too had the "ball and chain" of a salon visit every three weeks; by the time I drove there, had the color put on, hair washed and dried - probably almost 4 hours. I just could not stand it any more.

There are 5 multi billion industries that work on us from the time we are very little, to convince us we are not good enough the way we are, so we will buy their lies and products: makeup, clothing, self help books, women's mags, diet and plastic surgery industries. And increasingly, the pharmaceutical industry that gives us pills to cope with social problems. Anyhow, these industries will not stop. They figured out a long time ago that women are more susceptible to insecurities about our appearance and self image, and they just keep coming and coming. Our only defense is to say NO because they will not stop. Dont get me wrong, I use makeup too, and like nice clothing. But when is enough enough? why do we not have role models of ageing gracefully? why do we have to look so hard for clothes that flatter "older" women? Do we have to choose between looking like a frump, or a teenager? why are our bodies never respected for health, as opposed to unrealistic thinness? and why is gray hair "old" and "unattractive"? everyone gets gray. It is like the pathologizing of menopause.

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