Comments about your gray hair

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So, I am graying pretty fast now. I think I have more gray than my mother I like how it's turning out, but I find that I am getting more comments on it because of the gray. From the ones that I've had so far, women seem to view it more favorably than men. I had a compliment on it at Christmas from my old neighbor, but just this past weekend, her husband made a comment about it, and I don't think it was favorable.

Do you guys find that more favorable comments seem to be made by men or women about your gray?
Started CG July 8, 2008


3

Pre Co-wash: Coconut oil (plain & rosemary)
Co-wash: Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle or Trader Joe's Nourish Spa
Rinse out: GVP Conditioning Balm
Leave-in/Styling: Moisture Maniac with Kenra Moisturizing Conditioner on top
no, it's been a mix. i have had men (ones i know and strangers) come up and compliment me, and i have a guy friend who used to try to persuade me to color it again. of course he is obsessed about age. my son-in-law likes it, said he wishes his mother would stop coloring, and is supportive of my daughter's gray (like me, she is graying very early -- like we started at 17!)

and there are some women who hate it, some who love it.

i love it, so i don't really care.
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no, it's been a mix. i have had men (ones i know and strangers) come up and compliment me, and i have a guy friend who used to try to persuade me to color it again. of course he is obsessed about age. my son-in-law likes it, said he wishes his mother would stop coloring, and is supportive of my daughter's gray (like me, she is graying very early -- like we started at 17!)

and there are some women who hate it, some who love it.

i love it, so i don't really care.
Originally Posted by rbb
nice. I'm still just a little insecure about going gray, so some of the comments bother me a little. I'm sure I'll get over it.
Started CG July 8, 2008


3

Pre Co-wash: Coconut oil (plain & rosemary)
Co-wash: Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle or Trader Joe's Nourish Spa
Rinse out: GVP Conditioning Balm
Leave-in/Styling: Moisture Maniac with Kenra Moisturizing Conditioner on top
I read somewhere that baby boomer men in particular really hate to see grey hair on a woman. I'm sure not all are like that, but still. I think it works both ways with both sexes. There are always going to be people of both who support one going grey, and don't. Doesn't make it any easier though. I'm not there yet, about going grey myself. Maybe some day LOL!
So far my friends are slightly dubious about the end results, though they are liking it as it is growing out. (but so am I) .All women. But I am around very few men so it's hard to say what they think.
I read somewhere that baby boomer men in particular really hate to see grey hair on a woman. I'm sure not all are like that, but still. I think it works both ways with both sexes. There are always going to be people of both who support one going grey, and don't. Doesn't make it any easier though. I'm not there yet, about going grey myself. Maybe some day LOL!
Originally Posted by caramix3a
Ahh, yeah, these guys were right at that age. And, they are gray/graying themselves. Funny.
Started CG July 8, 2008


3

Pre Co-wash: Coconut oil (plain & rosemary)
Co-wash: Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle or Trader Joe's Nourish Spa
Rinse out: GVP Conditioning Balm
Leave-in/Styling: Moisture Maniac with Kenra Moisturizing Conditioner on top
Strangers in general are the most likely to hand out the compliments. Young men especially love it and young women are a close second.
My school friends and family are the least likely to like it. It seems to make THEM feel old.
I wouldn't care if everyone in the world hated it with a passion. I love it and would never think of dying it.
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Found NC in 2004. CG since 2-05, going grey since 9-05. 3B with some 3A.
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I have been going gray since I was a teenager (I'm almost 35 now), and I've never dyed my hair. So people I know are accustomed to seeing me with gray hair, and I've never had to deal with a weird transition period. I don't think I've ever had a negative comment about my hair (other than college mates teasing me about it because they thought it would upset me). I do get compliments from strangers, and I've often been told by people who do color that they wish they could stop coloring & embrace their gray. They'll try and not be able to follow through because of the weird transition period. So I'm always very glad I never colored.
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I have been going gray since I was a teenager (I'm almost 35 now), and I've never dyed my hair. So people I know are accustomed to seeing me with gray hair, and I've never had to deal with a weird transition period. I don't think I've ever had a negative comment about my hair (other than college mates teasing me about it because they thought it would upset me). I do get compliments from strangers, and I've often been told by people who do color that they wish they could stop coloring & embrace their gray. They'll try and not be able to follow through because of the weird transition period. So I'm always very glad I never colored.
Originally Posted by SilverWish
I am the same way, although I didn't have noticeable gray streaks until my 40s (I'll be 51 this year). Totally agree about feeling fortunate to never have experienced the color transition phase that seems to stop a lot of women from coloring their hair.

When my marriage ended in 2007 (when I was 43) I considered coloring, but my adult daughters talked me out of it. I've had more compliments from women in general and the significant romantic relationships I've had post divorce all liked my hair. Current BF loves my crazy hair, gray and all, and he is six years younger than me. We've been together three years and he just moved in a few weeks ago :-)

I've had women say, "if I had the type of silver steaks you have, I wouldn't color my hair" and from a few of those women, I know it's meant to be mean and snarky, however I look better than them from hair to toe! As for men, I tend to be a formidable woman, so I think it doesn't cross their minds to criticize my choice to be proudly graying!
rbb and SilverWish like this.
I love all the confidence in the replies.
Started CG July 8, 2008


3

Pre Co-wash: Coconut oil (plain & rosemary)
Co-wash: Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle or Trader Joe's Nourish Spa
Rinse out: GVP Conditioning Balm
Leave-in/Styling: Moisture Maniac with Kenra Moisturizing Conditioner on top
Oh oh oh! I have to jump in here. The few negative comments I have received (and remember, making no comment at all can also be negative) have been from women. Not one single man has ever said anything negative to me about my gray hair. I have just completed my transition.

I find myself still having "color envy" when I see commercials on TV for hair color featuring all those vibrant, "shinier than any diamond could ever be" heads of blonde, brunette, red and black hair hair. What I have learned to do is re-focus my own eye.

When I am out anywhere, I specifically look for men and women with gray hair, salt and pepper hair, those in the transitional phase, etc. Wow, there is a whole 'nother world of heads of hair out there that I never looked at when I was having my hair dyed. Everytime I do see a beautiful head of non-gray hair, I immediately try to find someone with a head of gray (or graying) hair, and I find it equally as beautiful. Does that make sense?

I may be wrong, but I have found that the people that have a negative view or opinion of gray hair are afraid of aging, or are afraid their significant other will despise how they will look. It's sad that our culture is obsessed with eternal youth.

I'm all for dying your hair, but when you hit the point that touching up your roots becomes so frequent that you dread it, then you need to change your own outlook. Age is not a factor then.

When you feel self-doubt creeping in, go on the internet and look at images of women and men of all ages with all different types of textures and degrees of gray. You'll be re-inspired to reach your goal.

Hope I didn't go off on a tangent here. I have a bad habit of doing that.
Once upon a time, on a clear moonlit night, I counted all the stars in the sky.

Last edited by starznthings; 05-12-2014 at 04:54 PM. Reason: spelling errors and left out words
I used to get the "Wow, do you know you have grey hair?!" from (mostly) friends. At this point, they all know that I know and that it doesn't bother me. I do get asked "Are you going to dye it ever again?" and my response is always that I'd rather have it grey and healthy instead of worrying about dyes and keeping up the color. Though one day I might henna it..just for fun!

Occasionally it'll get called out by someone new. I am an engineer and often interact with male engineers in the 40-55 age range. They like to bring attention to it, but it's never explicitly positive or negative..just sort of in a shocked or teasing sort of way. But don't worry, I throw jabs back at them!

My boyfriend is adamantly against people changing their hair color (he says it always looks fake...I disagree). He is also starting to get a few greys here and there...so perhaps we'll grey together
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CW - Suave Naturals Tropical Coconut
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Styler - HE Set Me Up Gel
I don't have positive things to say about my whites or the way I'm dealing with it, but I was happy to find this thread to know I'm not the only one out there struggling with this. I've handled it for a while, five years now, and they keep slowly but surely increasing. But now at 33, I feel like the only one my age with as many as I have. I know my sister didn't have this many at my age nor did my mom. But now what's making it hard, is they're starting to not be as spaced out, but rather filling in areas that are hard to cover to begin (IE. temples where hair is thinner/more sparse) so even though I do henna a lot, those roots are looking at me within a few days. No one has seen them except me, but I dread what they would think or say. I do feel like OP say, about thinking my husband (who has had the same ONE white hair for years) will look like my son pretty soon and I"ll be mistaken for being way older than him and we're the same. That makes me feel very self-confident. Some day I'll have to dye it blond to get away with these, but I am just so down on myself like it's my fault (from stress) that I'm going white so early.
2c
Medium texture
Normal porosity
Normal elasticity
can get weighed down with lots of oils
Co-wash-trying giovanni wellness
Rinse out: Garnier Body Boost, GVP
Leave-in: none right now, maybe a touch of SM curling souffle
Curl enhancer: AOMM and KCCC
Gel: Kiss my face gel
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Not really. Stress may okay a part but frankly most women start graying in their twenties or thirties. It's not your fault or a fault at all. Go check out the gray inspiration thread!
You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...ZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
thanks!! Having this going on, more grays with postpartum shedding is too much for my emotional state.
2c
Medium texture
Normal porosity
Normal elasticity
can get weighed down with lots of oils
Co-wash-trying giovanni wellness
Rinse out: Garnier Body Boost, GVP
Leave-in: none right now, maybe a touch of SM curling souffle
Curl enhancer: AOMM and KCCC
Gel: Kiss my face gel
DT:Jessicurl
Low Poo: abba pure and natural, Giovanni Wellness
working on: getting rid of frizz from the get-go
Ah but then I think you get a big bloom of new hair in about four months right?
You can see my wavy tutorials here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?lis...ZNxhBHSXAW40OQ and my wavy blog is The Wavy Nation http://wavynation.wordpress.com
Disclaimer: Not trying to scare! Just inform from personal experience:

My GP tested me for thyroid issues about a year ago since early and rapid greying can be a result of thyroid problems. I had never heard of that or looked into it, but apparently it was an issue she had.

I was negative, but it was a simple extra test to asl for during my yearly physical!
CG since July 2013

CW - Suave Naturals Tropical Coconut
RO - SM Restorative Conditioner
LI - SM Curl & Style Milk
Styler - HE Set Me Up Gel
That's what I keep telling myself, but after my last baby, when the shed started it didn't stop for years. Not saying it was from the baby, but it turned into something else that took years to calm down. So I'm trying to stay positive about things. I wonder that too about my gray hair, if it's thyroid. Mine isn't rapid. . . yet, but it's slow and steady. And sometimes that route wins the race. After you got on thyroid, did some of your white hairs go back to brown??? Did you stop having so many?
2c
Medium texture
Normal porosity
Normal elasticity
can get weighed down with lots of oils
Co-wash-trying giovanni wellness
Rinse out: Garnier Body Boost, GVP
Leave-in: none right now, maybe a touch of SM curling souffle
Curl enhancer: AOMM and KCCC
Gel: Kiss my face gel
DT:Jessicurl
Low Poo: abba pure and natural, Giovanni Wellness
working on: getting rid of frizz from the get-go
I get compliments about my curls, but: nowhere near as many as since I am going silver, n o dye now since November. I dont really get it! but I sure do appreciate it!
jeepcurlygurl likes this.
I get compliments about my curls, but: nowhere near as many as since I am going silver, n o dye now since November. I dont really get it! but I sure do appreciate it!
Originally Posted by Myrna
I'm in my 40s and just went gray only a year ago. I have strangers who stop me and compliment my hair. Both men and women. But they tend to be older.

Others, as some of you have shared, seem to be threatened (?) by my gray hair; a visual testament that we are all aging? I guess I've never worried about wrinkles or other aging signs. Figured I earned each one of those.

What's even more interesting is the radio silence. I thought I'd have more friends, family and others talk to me about my hair but it's sort of the elephant in the room sometimes. When I confront folks, you can hear the "you're too young" (what is too young/old?) or "do you want it to look this way the rest of your life" (yes!).

Like another here, I like to look for the gray heads around me in public. I find that when I see someone whose gray hair catches my eye, they are exuding an inner beauty. There's a gleam in their eye or a laugh on their smile. I want to get to know that person and what makes them so joyful.

Like others, I too have times of doubt. Am I pretty this way? Have I "let myself go?" Then I see a bad dye-job and remember the money and time I spent for flat-toned hair. I love the many, many colors of gray and the shine and the fact that my hair is certainly healthier now. The doubt goes away quickly.

Hugs to all as you gain confidence!

Lorrie
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