From long relaxed hair to short, frayed natural

I am beyond confused about what to do with my hair. I'm multiracial, and my hair has so many different curl patterns that it sticks out in five different directions. The most prominent pattern would be a 4b, I think. I want long, beautiful hair again, but I can't seem to make it grow back out. I've been natural for a few years now, and my hair won't grow past my shoulders. I'm proud to have natural hair, but all of my family pressures me to go back to relaxers because I don't have the ideal ringlet curls like my sisters. I know my hair has potential natural, but it's becoming unmanageable. I'm tired of flat ironing, which I know is causing my dead ends.

I've tried washing it more, and I've tried washing it less. When I first started going natural, I used Garnier Fructis, and my hair actually seemed very healthy, in my opinion. It was soft, and not AS tangley, but could be better, and was growing fairly well. I had a pony tail! :] When I started at a Paul Mitchell cosmetology school , I received a huge lecture that over the counter lines were terrible for my hair. I tried both Lavender Mint Tea Tree and Super Skinny, and my hair was a poofy mess. I couldn't even flat iron it. I tried Pureology, and my hair was soft, but lost all curl pattern to extreme frizz. Joico made my hair brittle and dry, which I've concluded was from too much protein. I'm currently alternating between Sebastian Drench and Penitratt. My hair is soft, but it has such a dull color to it. I'm washing once a week, but my hair gets so oily that I feel as though I should wash it more, but everything I read says I shouldn't. When I was using the Garnier, I was washing every few days and wetting with conditioner every day, and my hair was fine and was growing nicely. I want long hair, but I need healthy hair. Is there a way I can have both?

Currently using:
Sebastian Drench s&c [moisture]
Sebastian Penitratt s&c [protein]
Redkin Smooth Down Thermal Protect Serum [silicone]
TIGI Curls Rock line
I am beyond confused about what to do with my hair. I'm multiracial, and my hair has so many different curl patterns that it sticks out in five different directions. The most prominent pattern would be a 4b, I think. I want long, beautiful hair again, but I can't seem to make it grow back out. I've been natural for a few years now, and my hair won't grow past my shoulders. I'm proud to have natural hair, but all of my family pressures me to go back to relaxers because I don't have the ideal ringlet curls like my sisters. I know my hair has potential natural, but it's becoming unmanageable. I'm tired of flat ironing, which I know is causing my dead ends.

I've tried washing it more, and I've tried washing it less. When I first started going natural, I used Garnier Fructis, and my hair actually seemed very healthy, in my opinion. It was soft, and not AS tangley, but could be better, and was growing fairly well. I had a pony tail! :] When I started at a Paul Mitchell cosmetology school , I received a huge lecture that over the counter lines were terrible for my hair. I tried both Lavender Mint Tea Tree and Super Skinny, and my hair was a poofy mess. I couldn't even flat iron it. I tried Pureology, and my hair was soft, but lost all curl pattern to extreme frizz. Joico made my hair brittle and dry, which I've concluded was from too much protein. I'm currently alternating between Sebastian Drench and Penitratt. My hair is soft, but it has such a dull color to it. I'm washing once a week, but my hair gets so oily that I feel as though I should wash it more, but everything I read says I shouldn't. When I was using the Garnier, I was washing every few days and wetting with conditioner every day, and my hair was fine and was growing nicely. I want long hair, but I need healthy hair. Is there a way I can have both?

Currently using:
Sebastian Drench s&c [moisture]
Sebastian Penitratt s&c [protein]
Redkin Smooth Down Thermal Protect Serum [silicone]
TIGI Curls Rock line
Originally Posted by kurlykimberly
Ugh.. regarding the bolded, this is probably why so many people have frustration with stylists. They tell you "You're doing everything wrong, here use this!" and when you do, your hair is worse off than when you started. I know this was a school situation, but you said you had success using your over the counter products. I think the proof is in the pudding... your over the counter products worked fine and you didn't have any problems until you switched them. Just stick to what works and don't worry about what other people say even if they claim to be "experts", "teachers", or what-have-you.
"The challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everybody else."
"...rationality is not necessary to sell things.."
My staples: Mane n Tail (cowash), Garnier Fructis Sleek n Shine (leave in condish), Grapeseed oil or shea butter (sealing), Organic Root Stimulator Elasticitea (leave-in condish & light hold)
i agree with above statement
^^^ I totally are with the above...my mother has her cosmo license and she has been natural in the past but this time we are doing it together (so its way different for her) but she is learning everything from scratch as well...and she has made the same statement that was made above. They tell you everything is wrong and you have to do it this way (it IS a business). Anyway I think you should go back to what you know...now Garnier has even added the Pure Clean collection which (I think) is the greenest line and it is def CG friendly!
If at first you don't succeed you must try, try, try again...

Current Products:


Poo: SM Moisture Retention Shampoo & SM African Black Soap
LI Condish: Oyin HH
, SM DTM, SM Y&A Milk
DC: SM DTM, Honey & Oil Blend
Stylers: Oyin S&D, Oyin BSP, Oyin J&B, EcoStyler (Blue), SM C&S Milk

Oils: Tea Tree, Grapeseed, EVOO, Vatika Oil, Sweet Almond, Avocado Oil, SM RSB Elixir

We are all so much together, but we are all dying of loneliness - A. Schweitzer

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