A Man is Desperate Need of Advice

Hello Everyone,



Iím new this forum and am looking forward to everyoneís wonderful advice. For too long Iíve been struggling to get my hair to where I want it to be. Iíve read various forums and articles with the hope of finding something that can help me with my issue. Hereís my story:

As a black man I wasnít always accepting of my hair type. In middle school (Iím a senor in college now) I wanted ďgoodĒ hair and would often pray for it every night. Then when I would awake the next morning and see that my hair hadnít changed I would ask God why didnít he grant my request. I didnít want this dry, disgusting hair that everyone seemed to be repelled by. It was either I get waves or nothing. This mentality carried over into high school but to a much lesser intensity. Eventually after entering college I had a brief relapse of my middle school days because I thought my hair and dark skin was not sufficient enough because the world seemed to be in favor of much lighter complexions and once again ďgoodĒ hair. After this occasion Iíd made the decision to embrace all of me, especially my hair. With this new attitude I had a new appreciation for my hair and wanted it to grow so I could see what sort of awesome styles I could do with it. However after making this decision I was faced with new challenges: No matter what I try my hair just wonít grow.

Well, I wouldnít say it isnít growing; itís just that after it reaches a certain length it stops. Itís usually stunted at the length of a small and grows unevenly. I would go for months expecting to see some progress with my hair, but Iím always so disappointed to find that nothing has really changed. Currently my hair regime consist of:

1.) Moisturizing my hair with ĎS-Curl Moisturizerí when applying the moisturizer I just put a decent amount on my palms and I massage my scalp. Iím not sure if this is the right way to apply it.

2.) Sealing my hair with Shea butter.

3.) Not washing my hair too often because even the sulfate free shampoos I have tend to really dry it out. I donít really deep condition my hair because Iím a bit confused on how it works.

4.) I donít pick my hair often. I usually do the brush rub technique where you take a brush to your hair a move it in a circular until your hair begins to twist.


Iím doing my best not to get discouraged and just cut it all off. Iím hoping you guys can give me some help.


Thanks,
Jermaine
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Hi! Rubbing your hair with a brush sounds quite damaging, maybe that is snapping off any growth? Isn't that what is used to knot up hair for dreads? It's really important to be gentle with curly hair, it can be dry and the cuticle is more open so is easily damaged and easily tangled.

You might consider purchasing the second edition of the Curly Girl book which has a section for guys and another section for multicultural hair but the whole book should be useful. This is the system that many on Naturallycurly.com follow
Curly Girl: The Handbook: Michele Bender, Lorraine Massey, Deborah Chiel: 9780761156789: Amazon.com: Books

Also it's worth watching YouTube videos, soooo many African American ladies post their natural hair journey on there from teeny weeny afro to long hair, plus product reviews and tutorials. You will definitely find a few with similar curl patterns and goals. And if you are straight plenty of them are easy on the eye!!
Building a routine will help. Wash and deep condition once a week, apply a leave in, apply a styler, apply an oil and then style (braids or twists). In morning, undo braids or twists. This will help you retain the growth you get. I have to agree that the brushing may ge the culprit. You must "baby" your ends
As far as deep conditioning, just use a regular conditioner and add some honey and some oil oil to it. It leaves the hair great. Just add the conditioner, then place some honey in hands and then to hair. It will melt on contact, then add the oil to hands and then onto hair. Cover with a bag for 15 minutes and rinse.
I think you need to switch to using a comb, and be gentle with your hair. Men are so strong, you could tear 1/8 inch Afro textured hair out, and never even know.

Additionally, S-curl has a lot of moisture, but it takes protein to hold onto moisture. Make sure you co wash frequently to remove sweat, and salt from the hair. Other than that a healthy lifestyle is the best way to grow hair.
I dont see anything about your rinse out conditioner. You may need to build up the moisture level in your hair. When I started out I cowashed every day except shampoo day. If you do this I don't suggest you use silicones. I still do it several times a week. My hair needs water every day to stay moisturzed so when I don't wash I use my homemade spritz. How well is scurl moisturizing your hair? If if not u might need to change products.

I have never heard a guy talk about having "good hair" issues before. I didn't realize black men get the same negative indoctrination about hair that we black women do.
I'm surprised to hear of this too. I would be cautious about using honey on your hair adthomas. I used honey with oil & the mix made my hair hard & crunchy. (Angry as I call it) the deep condition I use is Eden body works deep condition & my hair loves it. But keep your your regime simple as possible. Shampoo/conditioner (in one) weekly, deep condition twice a month, water spritz daily, grease scalp as needed, & lastly find a styler you like. I'd suggest the Shea moisture curl enhancing stylers. My hair hates leave in conditioners. Hope this helps.
I'm surprised to hear of this too. I would be cautious about using honey on your hair adthomas. I used honey with oil & the mix made my hair hard & crunchy. (Angry as I call it) the deep condition I use is Eden body works deep condition & my hair loves it. But keep your your regime simple as possible. Shampoo/conditioner (in one) weekly, deep condition twice a month, water spritz daily, grease scalp as needed, & lastly find a styler you like. I'd suggest the Shea moisture curl enhancing stylers. My hair hates leave in conditioners. Hope this helps.
Originally Posted by curlicious13
He will have to figure out his hair properties and experiment to see what works for him.I think that Edenbody works dc is coconut based. Coconut milk or cream turns my hair to straw and my hair is not that big a fan of coconut oil either.
Hello Everyone,



1.) Moisturizing my hair with ĎS-Curl Moisturizerí when applying the moisturizer I just put a decent amount on my palms and I massage my scalp. Iím not sure if this is the right way to apply it.

2.) Sealing my hair with Shea butter.

3.) Not washing my hair too often because even the sulfate free shampoos I have tend to really dry it out. I donít really deep condition my hair because Iím a bit confused on how it works.

4.) I donít pick my hair often. I usually do the brush rub technique where you take a brush to your hair a move it in a circular until your hair begins to twist.


Originally Posted by jermaine
In MY experience, the best thing for growth is to leave it alone, hahaha! Don't watch it or try to make it grow! Just don't damage it, and it will grow. PLUS if it's kinky, growth might be hard to see in the beginning cuz it doesn't grow down.

In FACT I think you might be breaking it off with that pick, lol.
1. Make sure you are detangling it soaking wet and full of conditioner with something like a wide toothed comb or and tangle teezer/paddle brush. Picking your hair out pops the ends off. After you detangle it once or twice a wk, leave it alone!

Try twisting it with your fingers instead of matting it together with that brush.

2. A deep conditioner isn't really needed unless you're doing something to damage your hair. Just moisturize it regularly and use regular conditioner in the shower and you'll be good. Just leave it in long enough to work (a few min).

3. Use a sulfate free shampoo or no shampoo, just co-wash. That's what I do. Only shampoo 1x a wk. The rest of the time just condition it.

4. Shea Butter and Coconut Oil are both good for sealing.

5. I personally hate S Curl and it doesn't work for my hair. Try using something different like Shea Moisture Curl and Style Milk. Or a little of your regular conditioner. Or even old school hair lotion. Right now I use African Pride Olive Oil Miracle Anti-Breakage Lotion and it's great! Don't put it on your scalp! You don't need anything on your scalp.

Best of Luck, Guy!
4A/3C?
Oil- Coconut
Cleanse- Terressentials Hair Wash
Condish- Tresemme Flawless Curls
Stylers- KCKT, Eco Styler Krystal, CJ Pattern Pusha
Detangling- Macadamia Oil No Tangle Brush
I thought S curl was a wax but anyways try oils for growth.
But just messaging it into your scalp like olive oil or castor oil.
Sent from my C5155 using CurlTalk App

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