Dealing with breakage + Wanting long hair

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  • 1 Post By bringingcurliesback?
  • 1 Post By Blueblood

Hi guys! I have 3a/3b biracial hair. I need help. Here's the scoop:,

My grandmother had no experience with curly biracial hair. From the time I was very little, she always brushed very harshly to get my hair to stay manageable, which resulted in getting "compliments" on how poofy my hair always was. I thus kept in a pony tail during the day and braid at night until I was in middle school. My hair used to be waist length.

THEN CAME THE RELAXERS AND FLAT IRONS! DUN DUN DUN

I straightened my hair for a year straight. For me to wear my hair curly was sacrilege. After getting tired of that and attempting to embrace my curls, I still got relaxers. I've probably had 4-5 relaxers total. After also cutting my hair to shoulder length and stopping all heat styling and relaxers, my hair DID start to grow fairly quickly. However as time progressed, the sides became at least three inches longer than the back.

Can we talk about embarrassing? I've had SO many people ask why and how my hair is so much shorter in the back. It shamefully took me a long, long time to realize my hair wasn't growing slower, but breaking off.

I again cut my hair and began using ACV instead of shampoo, coconut oil/EVOO with honey as a deep conditioner. I though my hair had gotten pretty healthy, so I dyed it... Did you wince? I am, because I'm back to square one.

The dye seems way more damaging than any relaxer I ever put on my hair. It's shorter by at least an inch and a half in the back but breaking all over. I can't even touch it without hair coming out. Definitely more breakage than shedding.

So I'll finally get to the point:

WHAT DO I DO? I get so depressed when I get into the shower to detangler my hair. I can hear it snapping. It's disheartening to ever touch my hair.

What drug store conditioners are the best?
What high end products are worth the money?
What are the best vitamins for hair strength and growth?Least damaging way to detangle hair?
BEST protein and deep moisturizing treatments?
I feel for you. It must be so frustrating. I don't have experience with a lot of these issues, but I can tell you that detangling is easiest in the shower with your hair full of a slippy conditioner. You can use your fingers or a wide tooth seamless comb. A lot of damaged hair responds well to oil treatments, coconut and olive oil are commonly used. I'm sure people who have experience with dye or relaxer damage will also come to your aid.
2c/3a, dense, fairly coarse, normal porosity and elasticity, bsl curly, WL wet
Low poo: Giovanni 50 50
Co-wash: down under naturals, tresume naturals
RO: AOHR
LI: Giovanni Direct, Desert Essence curl cream
Stylers: kccc, HE smu, brhg
Oils: coconut, argan or evoo
I'm so sorry !!! Try using Sundown Vitamins they are good. The Hair, nails and skin type. It with help you get healthier hair. And help you stimulate hair growth.
Try no poo or shampoo bars. Be extremely gentle and minimalist with your hair. Too much manipulation can be a bad things. I actually want to learn how to ignore my hair lol.
However that does not mean neglecting it. Look homemade hair masks. Do everything as natural as possible. Because products in the end are products. One will lead to another kind of thing. Its absolutely endless. Why do you think so much of are pjs? Besides the ones that want to be of course lol

Biotin, or msm helps some people.
Be gentle and sorry about this but try to be patient. Forgeting about it helps because otherwise it can be crazy slow. Think of yourself like a child. Seriously think about it..Kids basically ignore their heads after we're done detangling their heads when its finally hair wash time. Those guys don't constantly run their fingers through, obsess over which deep conditioner or protein treatment to do... and look at their heads. GLORIOUS.
I hope you get something out of this.. I know im just a bit crazy. (:
Good luck!

Anyway let me know how it goes. (:

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using CurlTalk App
hippiechic81 likes this.
Sometimes I get carried away and manipulate him too much. He tells me he's fine on his own but I never listen. I wash him less now and all in all we're happy.
Beast's Favorite Things:
Shea Moisture
Kinky Curly
Curl Junkie
Natural Stuff
BC #2: 10/2/13
2c/3a/3b w/ loose botticellis, whirls and curls,
Coarse, High Porosity;CG since 2007
The dye seems way more damaging than any relaxer I ever put on my hair. It's shorter by at least an inch and a half in the back but breaking all over. I can't even touch it without hair coming out. Definitely more breakage than shedding.

So I'll finally get to the point:

WHAT DO I DO? I get so depressed when I get into the shower to detangler my hair. I can hear it snapping. It's disheartening to ever touch my hair.

What drug store conditioners are the best?
What high end products are worth the money?
What are the best vitamins for hair strength and growth?Least damaging way to detangle hair?
BEST protein and deep moisturizing treatments?
Originally Posted by curlyconfessi
If you ever get the urge to put chemicals near your hair again, run strand tests first when you do your skin patch tests, then no surprises. Gentlest way to detangle is with fingers when hair is slathered in a slippy conditioner, slowly and patiently in sections. If it's snapping you are being too rough OR th hair is so badly damaged it needs cutting off.

Proven beneficial ingredients for damaged hair include coconut oil, hydrolysed protein, ceramides, 18-MEA and panthenol. You are unlikely to find drugstore conditioners with more than two of these. No evidence moisturising will fix your hair, too much water can damage it (hygral fatigue).

The full array of micronutrients work synergistically and in opposition, for that reason any supplement regime should be tailored to the individual's health, medication, diet, exercise regime, age, gender etc. There is no evidence of any pills being beneficial, in fact they can be harmful to health by causing or worsening nutrient imbalances. Instead eat a balanced and varied nutrient dense diet.
2a-2c, medium texture, porous/ colour treated. Three years CG. Past bra strap length heading for waist.

CO-wash: Inecto coconut/ Elvive Volume Collagen
Treatments: Komaza Care Matani, coconut/ sweet almond/ fractionated coconut oils, Hairveda Sitrinillah
Leave in: Fructis Sleek & Shine (old), Gliss Ultimate Volume, various Elvive
Styler: Umberto Giannini jelly, Au Naturale styling gelee
Flour sack towel, pixie diffuse or air dry.
Experimenting with: benign neglect
OHMYGOD you are the story of my life!! I was recently getting over relaxers then I decided to dye it a few shades lighter and my hair is soooo damaged now.. I feel for you!! Idk what to do because I absolutely love he color but at the same time I don't want dead hair so I think I'll dye it dark brown because that will be easier on my hair to maintain. Also biotin helps a lot with growth

So I'll finally get to the point:

WHAT DO I DO? I get so depressed when I get into the shower to detangler my hair. I can hear it snapping. It's disheartening to ever touch my hair.

What drug store conditioners are the best?
What high end products are worth the money?
What are the best vitamins for hair strength and growth?Least damaging way to detangle hair?
BEST protein and deep moisturizing treatments?
Originally Posted by curlyconfessi
1. Cut of the damage in stages. While both dye, relaxers and both are damaging if you know how to care for your hair you can minimise the damage.

2. Have patience.

3. Be prepared to read lots to truly understand about your hair. This includes reading stuff about hair types that aren't completely relevant to your own.

4. Eat a healthy diet, get decent sleep, don't get too much stress etc. You know all the healthy common sense things you are told to do. You only need vitamin and mineral pills if you have a deficiency, and as most people don't have deficiencies they are wasting their money at best and harming their health in the worse cases. For example if you have undiagnosed issues with your kidneys taken large doses of Biotin could lead you to end up in hospital.

5. There is no best in hair products you need to find out what hair type you have. It's ok saying you have 3a/3b hair but you need to work out your hair density (the amount of hair on your head), your hair thickness (your strand size) and your porosity. Though at the moment your porosity is likely to be high due to damage but it may not be forever. (This information is on the main part of the site.)

6. Once you have done 5 have a look at different parts of the main website and the forum to see what products other people are using for their particular types of hair. For example people with fine hair, dyed hair or a lot of damage tend to deep condition once a week with a conditioner with protein in it. However you need to be aware that too much protein can lead you to have brittle hair.

7. When you think you are going to do something damaging to your hair like straightening it even with heat or dying it, go and do something else. Anything else but doing stuff with your hair. Wait until your hair is completely healed before trying any of these things.
lori.mattox likes this.
Are you my life twin??? I’m mixed too…. Was addicted to flat iron and got a few relaxers several years ago… Cringe.
The first thing I did, was STOP all heat styling. It's amazing the difference it makes after a couple months. If you haveee to heat style, use a heat protector. I use Turn Up The Heat flat iron spray (from Sally’s). Wrapping my hair at night also made an incredible difference (helps reduce breakage and cuts down on the need for heat styling.

I get highlights every 4 months, but I deep condition like a maniac, so it doesn’t really affect my hair. Are you coloring it at home or going to a stylist? I go to a stylist… very important to let them know your long term hair goals before you color it. Also find someone who is good with not only curly, but biracial hair. The woman I go to has biracial children, so she totally gets it.

Moisture is the thing you need the most. Basically every conditioner, cream, etc you use should say “Moisturizing” on it. I personally believe that Shea Moisture and Aussie moist have saved my hair. I only shampoo once a week to every other week (my hair hates shampoo), so I cowash a lot.

When detangling, brush from the bottom up. This way you don’t catch as many snags= less breakage/shedding. The Tangle Tamer Max from Sally’s is the best detangling tool I have ever used. Finger detangling is great too.

I take GNC UltraNourish Hair vitamins. They are amazing and have helped a lot. I got an inch this month! Be sure to drink tons of water when taking them..

Coconut oil (make sure it’s organic) is also addicting. You can use it as a pre-poo, hot oil treatment, sealer, styling agent, etc. It’s one of the few oils that penetrates the hair shaft. I get mine in Sam’s Club or Costco, way cheaper.

My favorite deep conditioner (right now) is Shea Moisture Deep Treatment Masque. I use it weekly.
Be careful with the protein treatments though… too much protein will hurt you. To start, try doing it once a month or every other week to see how your hair takes to it.

It sucks now, trust me. But, it will be fine in a few months.
Just at BSL (when stretched) goal is HL, 3a/b, medium thickness, medium porosity
CG since March 2013
Conditoner/Detangle: V05 Moisture Milk (Passion Fruit Smoothie), Aussie Moist
Clarify: Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Shampoo
Styling: Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie and Curl Milk, Extra Virgin Coconut Oil
Vitamins: One Daily and GNC Ultra NourishHair
Just to follow up... if anyone is interested in getting vitamins, GNC is having a huge 3 for $25 and $1.99 shipping sale
Just at BSL (when stretched) goal is HL, 3a/b, medium thickness, medium porosity
CG since March 2013
Conditoner/Detangle: V05 Moisture Milk (Passion Fruit Smoothie), Aussie Moist
Clarify: Herbal Essences Hello Hydration Shampoo
Styling: Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie and Curl Milk, Extra Virgin Coconut Oil
Vitamins: One Daily and GNC Ultra NourishHair

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