Are you mixed? - Page 12

Korkscrew · 12-20-2012, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by curlyhoneyb

I understand, but what I mean is that I don't come from the ethnic groups mentioned (Cuban, Dominican, etc). I know that they are also diverse in phenotype because of racial admixture. That's pretty obvious with many Dominicans, too, with a variety of complexions and hair types.

I'm what I would consider to be a non-Hispanic mixed person, if that makes sense. Kind of like Lonette McKee (actress) or heck, even Derek Jeter and Wentworth Miller. Or Halle Berry and Barack Obama.Some people would think Lonette McKee is Hispanic, which isn't a race, but you get where I'm going. But she is just a woman from Detroit with a Swedish mother and a Black American father. I guess there is no difference to some folks but to me, there is...because I'm not part of any Latin culture and I didn't grow up in a Spanish-speaking home or anything. Neither of my parents or grandparents are[ Latino. That's what I mean. Culture is part of what defines a person, not just what they appear to be. To my knowledge, I have no Latin/Hispanic or Asian ancestry, but I frequently get mistaken for being part of those groups depending on who looks at me. I think it's my coloring and the shape of my eyes.

I understand the cognitive dissonance - the fact that you're assumed to be (and treated as) a member of a culture/s you aren't even associated with. Same thing happens to me. Frequently.

Quote:

I'm not saying it's bad, that's just the way it is. And I don't think that biracial/multiracial people as a whole see ourselves as special or rare, but you're right...sometimes there are experiences that aren't always understood by people who aren't mixed. And I do agree that there are similarities at times between "mixed" people and other groups in terms of physical features. Halle Berry, for instance, reminds me of some women in Trinidad and Jamaica that we call "douglas" because she looks like a mix of Black/Indian. The Caribbean and West Indies has a lot of admixture too.

I see your point about the West Indies. My mom is West Indian and you can see that racial admixture by looking at her. But she looks mostly black (she's beautiful). My dad is a white balding Jew and he just looks German (he's German/Russian).

Quote:

some experiences when I was younger where people would insist that I had to be Cuban or Colombian or "some type of Spanish" and that I was obviously lying about my background. Now that is somewhat upsetting, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with being Latino/Hispanic, but it bothers me to hear ignorant comments like that. I guess it's the fact that an assumption is being made and the assumption is false. This one guy went around telling people about the "Colombian girl" (me) when it wasn't true. And I'm like a deer in headlights when people speak to me in rapid-fire Spanish, because I don't understand most of what is being said. The times I can understand is when racist comments are being made, unfortunately.

Like the woman who referred to my hair as "feo y sucio" (ugly and dirty).

Seems that's one of those challenges that are so universal to those of us who look "racially ambiguous", right? People get anxious and want to be able to define other people and things in a way that's congruent with their own life experiences and world view. So others get defined within narrow parameters. You just "had" to be Colombian, possibly because it was uncomfortable for him to see you as anything else once he'd decided on that "fact".

Gawd. No excuse for that crap comment about your hair. People can be real s*** heads sometimes

Quote:

I see myself as both black AND mixed, although my skin is white. But I respect everyone's right to identify as they see fit.

Thanks for sharing your experiences

elizard · 12-21-2012, 08:27 AM

I just wanted to chime in one more time on this topic although it's so far from it's original poster's question, it really should be a new topic by now.

I've posted a little bit about growing up in Baltimore and some hurtful treatment that I received as a mixed race individual, but I truly value the way that it made me view other races... essentially that being around people of other races, in my case black and white, although we had a few asians and spanish people by the time I got to high school, is normal. People from all white areas just don't seem to get it sometimes.

I have a friend who is black and albino, so his skin is white and his hair is blond. We actually had a couple of black albino people in my school system growing up so I've seen it before. I cannot even imagine the mistreatment he must have received growing up from all sides. But the worst is people I meet who have also met him through our circle of friends who literally say to me, WHAT I did not know he was black?! Are you kidding me? You can't recognize African features? It blows my mind.

I feel that I've always had a knack for identifying people's ethnic makeup, but I also use cues other than just visual, such as the way they talk, the way they dress, the way they interact with people, even their names. I am a person who takes everything in and doesn't miss much, but some people are just clueless.

kayrae · 01-27-2013, 02:15 PM

I get asked constantly. It was worse when I was in Japan. Some people getting offended that I said idk. Like I was ashamed of where I am from or something. I just don't know...adoption runs in both sides of my family. It is not offending, just makes me curious for a while, because...I have no idea what I am lol.

Julesonline · 01-29-2013, 05:44 AM

I used to get asked all the time when my ancestry is. The question would be phrased anywhere from "what are you?" , "what nationality are you?", "where are you from". Most of this occurred while in college in the Midwest. But I still occasionally get asked. The strangest one was just out of the blue this guy asked me "are you Turkish?" I answered no, why? It turns out he was half Caucasian and half Arab and thought I looked it too. What a way to start a conversation though! He went on to jokingly say that I'd make a good spy because I could pass as so many things.

When I was younger, and was asked these questions, I would like to play with the person and ask them what they thought I was. I've been thought to be Spanish, Italian, Brazilian, Mexican, Armenian, Turkish, Iranian, Greek, Sicilian, etc. the funny thing is, no one would ever guess the truth. At least not until I was older. Now every once and a while I get asked if I am Portuguese. Which is actually what is prominent in my olive complexion and features. But I am a mix of that plus Irish, Swedish, and English.

SmilingElephant · 01-29-2013, 05:58 AM

I won't lie...i get a confused feeling when im asked this question. Because although my parents and grand parents are Black, my great grands and great greats are of mixed heritage.

I have Native American and Caucasian in my blood and some ppl count Jamaican as its own ethnicity so, i am also that too.

For the most part i say im just Black, but people insist im mixed...which technically i am, but only by my ancestry. But aren't we all??

Sent from my LG-LG730 using CurlTalk App

Julesonline · 01-29-2013, 06:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmilingElephant

For the most part i say im just Black, but people insist im mixed...which technically i am, but only by my ancestry. But aren't we all??

Sent from my LG-LG730 using CurlTalk App

True, if one goes back far enough, with migration, wars, and such. Like there being Moorish ancestry in Spain, Portugal, and even Ireland (through the Spanish).

Korkscrew · 01-29-2013, 03:33 PM

See but I think the experience of being "mixed" is especially unique and "issue-laden" for those of us who were born into and brought up participating in two or three distinct cultures.

Society will expect such people to adopt an identity affiliated w/a single culture - they will try and fit you neatly into a particular box. And if you come from a bi or multi-cultural family but look racially ambiguous, this kind of thing happens: I had an Italian boyfriend as a teenager and we were madly in love. His mother opened her house to me and we got along just fine. Until. This one day his mother came to my house and met my (Afro-Caribbean) mother for the first time and she got all scared.

Suddenly she was playing match-maker, trying to find her son a new girlfriend. She was quite open about it. Before too long he broke up w/me. We were getting along great but he told me he'd fallen out of love, but I knew that wasn't true because as he said it, he was absolutely sobbing like someone had just killed his favorite pet. If both my parents had looked "mixed" or one was white and one was mixed (as she seemingly expected), that lady might not have been such a thorn in my ass. So I do think it matters what kind of "mixed" you are. Nor is everybody mixed. But yeah, many of us are.

Julesonline · 01-29-2013, 04:34 PM

Korkscrew, that really stinks.

I can't say that type of thing has happened to me, but being adopted into a Irish family and looking so NOT Irish, made it interesting growing up with the inevitable questions: Why are you so much darker than your parents? etc. I was picked on because I held a tan all year round, had such curly hair, etc. I do identify with the Irish culture though as that was how I was raised.

Korkscrew · 01-30-2013, 01:59 AM

Yeah, there've been some "interesting" situations along the way, but gotta say, in general I'm quite happy with my dual heritage and I've been embraced whole-heartedly by both sides of my family and we all get along famously. Although I will say no one can shut up at family gatherings. We all just gab into the early AM hours lol.

Your situation sounds challenging but do you feel happy with it overall? Do you feel generally accepted by your family? (If this is too personal to answer on a forum, I get it.)

Anyway, thanks for sharing. It's amazing how diverse our experiences can be

Julesonline · 01-30-2013, 07:11 AM

Luckily, I am fully accepted by my family. That was never the problem thank goodness. The probs came from my peers at school. But it's all good now!

adthomas · 01-30-2013, 09:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julesonline

Korkscrew, that really stinks.

I can't say that type of thing has happened to me, but being adopted into a Irish family and looking so NOT Irish, made it interesting growing up with the inevitable questions: Why are you so much darker than your parents? etc. I was picked on because I held a tan all year round, had such curly hair, etc. I do identify with the Irish culture though as that was how I was raised.

This is interesting. My friends who are fair white straight hair people are trying to adopt an olive skin child with dark curly hair. They have two biological kids who are blonde and blue eyed. My friends could care less what she looks like. They love her to death. But I worry that looking sooo different from the rest of the family may be difficult as she grows up. My friend told me they get dirty looks sometimes from people who act like she must have been cheating on her husband but it's not like they want to go explaining over and over again the girl is adopted.

Any advice?

adthomas · 01-30-2013, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmilingElephant

For the most part i say im just Black, but people insist im mixed...which technically i am, but only by my ancestry. But aren't we all??

Sent from my LG-LG730 using CurlTalk App

Do you live in the US? I have come to the conclusion that perceptions about who is black and who is not has a lot do with culture. myself and family are light and freckled. Some have blue or hazel eyes, and some of my mom's siblings could almost pass, but we've always considered ourselves black without question. Yes we know we're Scot-Irish, Choctaw and African descent but my last white ancestor died right after the CW. The plantation was a long time ago. But when I talk my friends who are from Latin America, they all argue me down insisting I'm not black. I think the difference is in the US, in order to make Jim Crow work, whites supremicists made it if you are even a little black then you're black aka one drop rule. In Latin America it seems the general feeling is if you are even a little anything other than black then you are not black. Not saying everyone thinks this way but that has been my experience. My dad couldn't believe it when I told him people were telling me I'm not black. Not just Latin America. I saw a lady on YT who looks like me who said she went to Namibia and they told her she wasn't black. She was hurt because she was expecting this "return to the motherland experience."
I think the big problem with stereotyping of how "mixed" people look or even what kind of hair they have is that genetics can be tricky. So someone who has a parent of a different race may not look the stereotype while someone with an ancestor from 200 years ago does.

According to Dr. Henry Gates
58 percent of African Americans have at least 12.5 percent European ancestry (equivalent of one great-grandparent);
19.6 percent of African Americans have at least 25 percent European ancestry (equivalent of one grandparent);
1 percent of African Americans have at least 50 percent European ancestry (equivalent of one parent); and
5 percent of African Americans have at least 12.5 percent Native American ancestry (equivalent to one great-grandparent).

dee-nature · 01-30-2013, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmilingElephant

But aren't we all??

Sent from my LG-LG730 using CurlTalk App

HELLO! Plus 1 if we gotta take it back to ancestry we can all say we mixed starting from slavery until now i have a laundry list of what i can be mixed with.

Sent from my MB612 using CurlTalk App

SmilingElephant · 01-31-2013, 08:21 AM

Yes i live in the US. But its weird that its who i consider my own Black ppl questioning if im Black or what im mixed with.

Random girl on the bus a few months ago got out her seat just to ask me if i was black or black and white.

I do get asked from other races what im mixed with. I won't lie, its kinda fun being racially ambiguous.

Im either mistaken for a Dominican, Trinidadian or black/white most of the time. Only one person so far was right about guessing im Native American.

Sent from my LG-LG730 using CurlTalk App

anonymous_135172 · 01-31-2013, 08:35 AM

My kids are "multi racial", it bugs me to no end that random people always try to shove them in a color category! I only see this in the US, my husband is "African American" ( what ever that means he also has a whole array of European and Cuban ancestors ) and I am German. Aren't we all mixed in general?!
When my son was in first grade he needed to be picked up in school, the school nurse did not believe that my husband is the daddy because "your black and the kid does not look black".
Both my kids have light skin and my husbands beautiful black curly hair that looks like "white peoples " hair.
In the US they are always asked " what are you , are you mixed"?
In Europe ( Germany , Belgium , Netherlands , Italy) they or I have NEVER been asked.
My son in college now identifies as black , my daughter in middle school answers " I am an American German , but in general I'm human, but why are you asking "?
They are both proud of their heritage and culture but why do they have to be a color and be defined by it?
I wish this categorizing by color would stop , I see no reason for it.

RizosMio · 01-31-2013, 11:20 AM

I tend to get "are you black?" and I usually just say I'm Hispanic. My family doesn't have a clue on the specifics of where we came from but I had always been curious. A year ago I finally took a DNA test, so I'm:

61.7% Sub-Saharan African
30.2% European
3.3% East Asian & Native American
(4.9% Unassigned)

It's kind of fun replying to this question with my my ancestry composition! Lol. I do recommend a DNA test, it's kind of useless information but yet very satisfying at the same time.

rmc2 · 01-31-2013, 12:07 PM

For me Hispanics can be white, Black or Indian... But I feel that many Hispanics shy away from thinking of themselves as Blacks (i.e. Dominicans).

RizosMio · 01-31-2013, 12:21 PM

100% truth. I would know, I'm Dominican! Lmao.

I do feel like people frown upon that...but it's only natural if one thinks about it. Genetically speaking I'm black and white and Indian, but not culturally. Culturally speaking I feel as white/black/Indian as I do Chinese. Lol. I give the same answer of "I'm Hispanic" no matter what the question (are you black? are you white? are you gray? Lol)

The problem arises when Hispanics claim one thing and not the other. We Dominicans have a very hard time accepting our black, I find that to be the true issue.

rmc2 · 01-31-2013, 12:54 PM

RizosMio, happy you agree with me O). I have many friends there. It is a touchy subject many places in the world, I guess.

dee-nature · 01-31-2013, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rmc2

For me Hispanics can be white, Black or Indian... But I feel that many Hispanics shy away from thinking of themselves as Blacks (i.e. Dominicans).

So true i am Haitian the DR is our neighboring country. But i had a chance to have an educated conversation with someone and he said it best. If we look @ domincans as a whole it is easy to generalize how "they" are. But if we look @ each person for themselves we will find not all are the same. He is one that embraces everything he is and finds it silly that so many of his people struggle with it especially when it is written all over their appearance. I like his take on it. There is self hate and sell outs in all races some more than others.

Sent from my MB612 using CurlTalk App