Are you mixed?

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I definitely get asked this often, and I am no longer offended. I only get p.o.ed when someone tries to ARGUE with me about it after I tell them I'm not. My dad told me that apparently if you don't have "nappy can'tcha, don'tcha hair" - his words, not mine, meaning you can't do anything and don't want to do anything with it - people will assume you're mixed with something...but I also got this question often when I had a relaxer too.

OP, it's probably a combo of your hair, freckles and red color that makes people ask. When they ask you, just say, "Nope, I'm not!" and keep it moving. No biggie.
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I too am Sicillian and Irish, and I have a very ambiguous ethnicity. Folks of African decent think that I am mixed African and Caucasian, Native Hawaiian and Islanders think that I am either full-blooded or mixed Islander, I even get Indian, Middle Eastern, Native American, and once, Mongolian (not sure why; my eyes are olive shaped, but not *that* olive shaped). Once, a lady I met from Brazil got so excited to see me that she got halfway through a sentence in Portuguese before she saw the confused look on my face and stopped because I obviously did not understand her.

I think it is a tremendous compliment, since people always seem to think I am the same ethnicity they are, and so find me more approachable. Luckily, I am friendly, so once they find out I am not, they usually still stay and talk to me anyway.
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I get asked this question a whole lot. I'm not. I'm white. My mom is Irish, my dad is Italian. I have blue eyes and freckles. My hair is dark brown with a little bit of red. I'm white.

But I get asked this question completely randomly, and I was wondering if anyone else got it a lot. People ask when they meet me, whenever I offhandedly mention something about my hair, or occasionally at the cash register at Bojangles' (I kid you not, the cashier asked me once). I have 3Cish hair, I think, and I'll get some pictures up here eventually. I was just wondering if anyone else gets the question, and how you respond if you do (once someone actually didn't believe me, which was an interesting moment).
Originally Posted by rolltidegal
Ha. That's funny. I AM mixed; I have olive skin, curly hair, and green eyes, but people always think I am white. I don't think of myself as white, and whenever I say as much people are like, "Uh, what do you mean you're not white?"
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Nobody has asked me if I'm mixed but I have been asked, "what are you, anyway?" I don't find it annoying as much as a telling about the virtual stranger who would ask such a personal question. Close friends who've asked me get a pass because it's a chance for me to educate them that curly hair isn't "owned" by any particular race.
Originally Posted by roseannadana
Yes I've never gotten "are you mixed?" but have gotten the "what are you?" question my whole life. Which I thought was odd as I have light skin and eyes, white lady nose/mouth, always thought I just looked "white" but found out mom is part native american indian, dad part spanish/north african. So I guess some people can see this though I can't really.
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Sometimes when I point out that part of the animus towards curly/kinky hair is because of its association (no matter how inaccurate) with being black, I think people think I'm exaggerating. But perceptions of race and racial stereotypes are definitely part of the textured hair issue. This is not a mere cosmetic or aesthetic issue.

I'm African American, not mixed (at least not for a few generations), but people, usually other black people, ask me whether I am. I think it's unbelievably rude.

Last edited by Chevelure; 10-04-2010 at 11:31 AM. Reason: typo
I am mixed. Yes, I get the question and I know it's because of my hair. Cause otherwise I definitely look like a person of color...and they are usually looking directly at my hair when they ask. And I know it's because they don't expect a black person to have looser curls and a soft look to their hair in it's natural state...so they assume that I MUST be mixed with something other than black cause how else could I have this hair... silly, nu ? LOL!
Originally Posted by Marah Mizrahi
all of this...except i'm not biracial.

i think once i get past the ignorance of "you can't be *insert race here* because of your hair" the only thing i find super annoying and maybe even slightly offensive is when somebody insists that i'm lying. why lie about it??? its not that serious!
Originally Posted by subbrock
LMAO at both your comments...My sister and I were approached in the Mall last week by two guys who asked if we were biracial. Not because of our looks because we are both a good shade of brown but because of our hair. Both of us wear our hair natural and always have. When we said no they look at us like we were lying. Then were like you are mixed with something and maybe your family is hiding it.

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People almost always assume that I'm either Hispanic or Italian. Even before I got married and had a crazy Italian last name. I have very dark brown hair and eyes. I'm niether. I'm Irish and Scottish mostly. I'm so pale... I have no idea where people get their ideas. I'm mean super pasty white. Like oh crap it's casper the friendly ghost oh no wait it's just abstractcurls kinda pale
Like someone else said earlier, people ask me where I'm from. Apparently, I look Ethiopian (not like any Ethiopian I've seen but mmkay ). Sometimes they do get a lil feisty about it. Because I need to lie about my ethnicity? It's never made me mad though. Once I got past the confusion (like I said, I don't think I look like a black non American) I thought it was pretty cool I'd love to know where my African ancestors were from. If Ethiopa...somehow...awesome! But dude, don't argue me down about me! I'm the expert
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Well I'm as white as they come so I don't get asked it but my husband is Jamaican. My daughter has a pretty dark skin tone considering how fair I am (blonde hair and blue eyes) as well as 4a hair so I get asked all the time...."is she yours?" What kind of question is that????? When I say "yes" they like to point out how different we look, like apparently I'm not sure if I gave birth to her or not and they need to set me straight.

What's funny is that while my daughter looks like she is full black, my son looks like he's full white. My husband is a mix of black, white and Indian (you wouldn't know it looking at him) so technically our kids are more white than anything and about 3/8 black. Ever since my son was born people stopped asking me about my children, I think now they're so confused they're speechless. Thank goodness because I can't be bothered to explain the concept of interracial relationships anymore.
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I mean there has got to be a better way to ask it.. What are you? Are you mixed? What you mixed with? HUH, REALLY?
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Personally I think the rudeness factor of the question is dependent on the context of the conversation (are we already talking about race or are you some random person just asking me a question?) and will determine my response. Having grown up in a predominately "white" neighborhood (notice I hyphenated white bc what is "white & blk" anyway? we are all mixed w/something & white can mean anything from italian, irish, german, etc. ancestry just like blk can mean african, indian, 'white', creole...etc. etc..its just a simple label to encompass a bunch of different races based solely on ones skin complexion) so can we please pleeeeease let that go...especially that I'm 1/4 this and 3/4ths that...really who cares? Does it make you any better than someone else because you have more ____ in you than ___?

Anyway, my point was that I've grown up in a predominately white area and I have always been asked are you mixed but until this past yr it never really bothered me until I was at wk. I had this one boy look at me and say "what are you". I was like wtf do you mean what am I?! It took all of my strength not to knock him the f**k out! First of all I'm a person just like you. Bottom line. I didn't even answer his question and tried to walk away but he kept going on and on. Next came "well aren't you going to answer me?...I mean you don't look all black. Are you mixed with asian or part hispanic or something".

During another conversation at work about race I was asked again if I was mixed. I consider myself "blk" and don't outwardly identify w/anyother race (not bc I'm ashamed but because it's not first generation). Both of my grandmother's are mixed w/blk, white & indian and my dad has "that good hair" (people actually tell him 'you don't have hair like most blk people'...again wtf! and my son is just beginning preschool and the white teachers are always touching his hair and talking about how 'pretty it is'. I mean damn...is all 'blk hair' supposed to be dry,nappy and hard to manage?!)

During that conversation at wk after I revealed my ancestry I then got 'oh...that's why you have a white girl nose and Oh thats why your cheek bones are so high and your eyes don't open all the way'. I really don't understand why people constantly want to place labels on others just so that they can feel comfortable. I have no control over what my ancestors did, who they laid in bed with nor do I have any control over what others did either. However just because my nose isn't wide or my eyes are slanted it doesn't mean that you have the right to invade my privacy or try and give a history exam just to satisfy ones curiousity.

To all who are asking out of noseiness vs genuine interest please get a fu**in life...there are more important things going on in the world then who laid down w/who!
Well, I am mixed..and I know people only ask me if I am because of my hair because I'm VERY light..I look white.
I'm Dominican & we are a mixed race I have family with blue eyes blond hair & some that are of a darker complexion with dark eyes & curly hair. I never really got asked that question until I moved to an area with mostly black or white people only. They ask me all the time if I'm mixed. I always just say I'm Dominican it doesn't offend me when they ask. I know they are just curious. If someone doesn't believe you that's there problem.
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I often get people that ask what are you? It does become bothersome after awhile because to me I'm just "normal" but I am Puerto rican and often people try to guess what I am its very annoying. Rather than just stare please or try an play the guessing game come ask and get it over with. Geesh
I don't get that most of the time, though there's this one guy in some of my classes who always asks "Are you Greek? Are you sure you're not? Your hair seems very Greek... Are you sure you're not Greek?" Like wtf dude I think I'd know...
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Black people in America have tighter curls, that is just a fact. It does not surprise me because the hair is a dead giveaway as well as skin tone and features. People are just too afraid to admit it but thats what it is. I love surprising people too. Its fun!
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My son looks white but identifies as biracial but is constantly challenged for that fact.
He gets really frustrated and insulted by people not believing him. I try to tell him that most go by his apearence but he gets mad when they challenge his answer.

Once in 2nd grade his friends had a "friendly" basketball game. It so happened that the teams seperated into color, black boys against white boys, with my son among the black boys. Well he got into a fight with a boy from the white team who called him a traitor for not picking the white team.

I knew nothing about this, I guess they settled their differences but a few days later I pick him up and he drags me by the hand down the corridor and shouts "See, I told you I was black!".

It's all preception really and it's too bad that most who ask "what are you" follow up with "really?" or "are you sure?".
Black people in America have tighter curls, that is just a fact. It does not surprise me because the hair is a dead giveaway as well as skin tone and features. People are just too afraid to admit it but thats what it is. I love surprising people too. Its fun!
Originally Posted by MixedChica00
Ummm...excuse me but where do you live?! Again here is another assumption that people make "black people in America have tighter curls, that is just a fact"...you're no better than the people who are "sure" that they can tell you what your ancestry is. Saying that is an ignorant comment. What makes your statement fact...bc thats all you've seen in your life?! I personally have 3c curls and so does my brother, while I am lt.skinned and my brother is dark skinned. My dad has waves and is dark skinned while both of my grandmothers are lt.skinned & have completely straight hair.

I also have aunts and uncles who are lt. skinned w/green eyes and dark skinned w/blue eyes and wavy hair. So please do not make an ignorant assumption and say that what you are stating is fact! Please educate yourself and expand your horizons a little more before you make another generalization like that and then act like you are preaching the gospel! You know what they say...people who make assumptions end up making an a*s out of themselves so wise up!
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Black people in America have tighter curls, that is just a fact. It does not surprise me because the hair is a dead giveaway as well as skin tone and features. People are just too afraid to admit it but thats what it is. I love surprising people too. Its fun!
Originally Posted by MixedChica00
Ummm...excuse me but where do you live?! Again here is another assumption that people make "black people in America have tighter curls, that is just a fact"...you're no better than the people who are "sure" that they can tell you what your ancestry is. Saying that is an ignorant comment. What makes your statement fact...bc thats all you've seen in your life?! I personally have 3c curls and so does my brother, while I am lt.skinned and my brother is dark skinned. My dad has waves and is dark skinned while both of my grandmothers are lt.skinned & have completely straight hair.

I also have aunts and uncles who are lt. skinned w/green eyes and dark skinned w/blue eyes and wavy hair. So please do not make an ignorant assumption and say that what you are stating is fact! Please educate yourself and expand your horizons a little more before you make another generalization like that and then act like you are preaching the gospel! You know what they say...people who make assumptions end up making an a*s out of themselves so wise up!
Originally Posted by JaylensMami10
Giiiirl, see my previous post. That chick was obviously a troll.
BC'ed: 26 Dec 09
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